A.N.: I'm really having a hard time connecting the dots so please bear with it at least until this chapter ends.
"Hey, Jade, what are you doing in the janitor closet?" Cat peers in, half-hiding behind the doorframe. I look up and see the worried look on her face, lips caught between her teeth. She's trying not to stare, glancing at me then looking down. I stare at her, wondering too why I was there. For a moment there I forgot why.
She shifts on her feet, hesitating if she should come in. Do I look so messed up that I got Cat, Cat Valentine this worried and uncomfortable? I don't want to think. I don't want to deal with this. I need to get away. I stand up without a word, flattening down my skirt. I look past her. I can't take the look on her face anymore. It doesn't suit her. It isn't for me.
I try to make my way out but then she rushes towards me, enclosing me in a warm hug. I don't move nor do I pry her off. She's Cat; she only means well. I breathe, catching the smell of her hair—strawberries.
I know I should be at least a little thankful that she's worried about me but, to me, it just shows how I've failed myself, how I've let Vega have her way with me, how I felt alive in spite of the circumstances. I keep it bottled in. I don't want to snap at Cat, she doesn't deserve such treatment. She's important to me no matter how much I deny that to everyone including myself—ugh.
"Uh, Cat," she doesn't react, "Cat, I'm okay; I'm fine," I tap at her shoulder.
"Really?" she leans back, hands gently clasped on my arms, eyes brightly lit. It's like she's about to jump or… float.
"I'm just a little bit tired," and really pissed about a certain brunette. I try not to roll me eyes at the thought.
"Oh, okay!" she bounces on her feet, beaming at me. She quickly scans me, "But what are you doing in here with…" she tugs at my skirt, "orange soda on your skirt?" Her eyes narrow the slightest bit.
"I slipped," I say simply, holding my temper in. She giggles almost kitten-ish if cats could giggle. I frown.
"You slipped," she repeats.
"Never speak of it," I warn half-heartedly. Since when was I half-hearted or, even, "-hearted"? I feel her hands pull mine and then we're gone, the hum of her voice echoing. After that I don't remember where Cat went.
I know I shouldn't be doing this, standing in front of Beck's RV, still stained with orange, stained with… Tori. Why did I say her name? I never say her name. Saying her name is like acknowledging her existence.
I shake my head furiously. I don't need to think about her. I don't need to ask why, why she's acting the way she does now, why just now. Thinking about it makes me think too much of how she… touched me. It consumes me and I lose all common sense, all the hate. I need to block her off, keep my anger. I need to wash her away. I need Beck… and revenge.
I bang at the door, its sound buzzing in my head. It opens almost immediately, Beck on the other side. Something about him is off. I narrow my eyes, studying him. "Jade," he gives me that sweet smile but there's something else… worry. Why isn't he asking where I was or letting me in? Jealousy bubbles in the pit of my stomach. He has someone in there with him he doesn't want me to see. I know him like the back of my hand. I want to push past him but I keep myself still, trying to talk sense with myself.
I don't know why I keep pushing anger down while it's all that I've been holding on to. This is not me. But I don't want to argue. I just need Beck.
"Hey, you," Vega smiles excruciatingly calm beside Beck, I freeze for a moment. My mind races with thoughts of Beck and her and… no.
"What the fuck is she doing here!" I scream, losing control. I want to drag her out, and beat the shit out of her but Beck... he doesn't have to see that. I don't want him getting into this mess.
"Whoa, Jade, I know you'll be upset but… chill, okay?" He raises his hands defensively.
"Chill? How can I chill when you didn't even check with me before all this?" I don't know why but I feel like my mouth's filling up with venom. Everything's seeping out and my voice gets louder and sharper with every word I speak.
"I was about to call you," Beck's trying to stay calm, hand threading through his dark hair.
"Get her out of here," I growl; my hands balling-up in fists, glaring at Vega. I've had enough shit going already. I came here for Beck and not for this.
"Calm down, Jade," his hand rests carefully on my shoulder. I shrug it off.
"I am calm so get her out of here," my voice shakes, struggling to keep in control. So many voices are buzzing in my head telling me to tackle her, to ignore Beck, and so many other things that are just too graphic to even say.
"Um, I'm just gonna go, okay?" Vega slings her purse over her shoulder passing dangerously close to me. "Don't be stupid, Jade," I barely hear whisper as her footsteps fade, as I push Beck into the RV.
Cat's standing at my doorstep, a smile planted on her lips as I open the door. "Here," she takes my wrist lightly with one hand, placing a lollipop with the other. I look at her, my brows almost knitting with each other in confusion. She knows I don't like candy. "You don't have to eat it if you don't want to… just don't throw it away," she quickly adds, chewing at her lip. I jam the thing in my pocket to be forgotten and pull her upstairs without saying anything, not trusting myself if I could be nice, as Jade West comes, with her right now. Last night… didn't go as well as I wanted it to be. I shouldn't have agreed with having her over to do a scene for Sikowitz's class.
Beck told me that they were practicing a scene for a project due Monday but Vega's going to be gone for the whole weekend and they had to have it done by that night. He was explaining and explaining and explaining, repeating her name over and over again. I got tired of him and I left. All I wanted was to feel his touch, his warmth, that night. I didn't want him talk about Vega when it should just be me and him.
"What scene were we assigned with?" I sit across Cat in my room, leafing through my notebook just for something to do. I don't want to do this but I also don't want to drag myself down just because of Vega.
"Death," she lets the word out, catching for breath. I look at her, bewildered. Was she holding her breath or something. "We have to write about death."
A.N.: I'm adding Cat in the mix 'cause she's my favorite character in the series and I love Cade.
And then Amberpire's "Predator" (id:6549690) inspired me so I wrote this fic. (maybe it's too late to put this here, oh well…) And although I don't like Tori, Jori has so much chemistry; I love their love-hate relationship.
You do know I'm trying to keep this note short, right? But I CAN'T help it!
Please review if you want me to get excited. When I'm excited I get inspired and that means faster updates. :D
Again, please don't slaughter me if I don't make real sense.