Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Misery Loves Company

Emmett (Because you know you want it!)

"Stop it with the anxiety already, she's fine," I snapped at Jasper.

He stopped pacing. He'd been doing that since that pussy, also known as fuckward, also known as Edward, left to see Bella.

Jasper seems like this tough guy with all his scars and all his fighting experience from the vampire wars, but when it comes to Bella he's just like a mother hen fussing over her chicks. Of course he's smart enough not to show it in front of Bella.

No... our little Bells would have his balls if she knew. Yeah, she's a feisty one. I have loved Bella since the moment I first met her.

She's been my breakable, klutzy human sister. She was awesome. But I have to say that I like the new ball-breaking Bella a lot more.

Since that bitch ass motherfucking pussy made us leave Bella behind I have missed her. All I wanted to do was come back here. But everyone -except yours truly of course- agreed, it was best to stay away from her. Jasper didn't say much, but I understood. He loved Bella too. I'm sure she never knew that. But he liked watching her, (and no, I don't mean in a creepy way) seeing her kindness, her humanity. Jasper thought she was the epitome of everything good in this world.

And then he tried to eat her.

You can imagine how that didn't sit very well with the major. He was full of guilt and self hate. When we came back, he tried even harder to stay away from her. But my little sister is nothing if not stubborn. She told fuckward, who was against her and Jasper spending time together, that if he didn't like it, he could go fuck himself.

That shocked the hell out of everyone. Not me though, no I was fucking proud of my baby sister finally standing up for herself. And I have to say, the mouth on that girl. My God. She uses curse words I haven't even heard of before, and I'm no stranger to cursing believe me.

The pussy says it's all the fault of those teenage werewolves, and he's trying to make Bella stay away from them. Trying... being the operative word here. Fucking pussy. I don't get him, I honestly don't. He leaves her alone and broken, on the verge of committing suicide, comes back and then tries to take away the only people, who were there for her when he wasn't, the people who kept her ass alive.

He says their dangerous. Pfft dangerous my ass! Although I'm not very comfortable with the thought of my little sister hanging around werewolves, I don't believe they would ever hurt her. They haven't when we weren't around, why would they start now that we are? He's just a jealous little pussy, who doesn't want Bella to give attention to anyone but him.

Anyway, back to Jasper. Bella wouldn't take his self-hatred crap and she definitely didn't take no for an answer.

She hounded him until she finally made him realize that he wasn't going to hurt her. Yeah she did a good job on that one. Jasper is different these days, in a good way.

He's finally stopped being so uptight, he's more laid back these days. I grimaced. Well maybe not right now, but he usually is I swear.

"Just so you know it's not only my anxiety, I'm picking it up from you too, I'm projecting," he said, a smug smile on his face.

"Whatever little brother, I'm NOT worried," I said. I was lying through my teeth of course.

"Emmett I'm older then you, so shut up. Send her another text maybe he is with her now. Maybe she needs our help."

"Hell yeah!" I yelled. "What are we gonna say?" I asked, excited that I'd get to send her another text in spy language.

"Let's make it simple this time, OK?" Jasper grumbled.

"She probably got caught by Edward while she was still trying to decipher our last message."

"Hell no, my little sister isn't stupid. I'll bet you a hundred bucks that she got the message the first time she read it, and got away in time," I yelled, insulted that he'd think Bella would be so stupid.

His eyes started shining at the thought of making a bet. That's Jasper for ya.

"Fine I'll take that bet. I say she got caught by Edward because she didn't know what the fuck you were talking about.

We shook on it and I started to write her a text.

FOR YOUR EYES ONLY "Oooh good one," Jasper said.

ARE YOU AT A SAFE LOCATION?

OR WERE YOU CAPTURED BY THE PUSSY?

"Ask her if she needs help. Tell her we're standing by to come get her whenever she wants," Jasper said.

DO YOU NEED ASSISTANCE?

SEND US YOUR LOCATION IMMEDIATELY BROTHER BEAR AND EMPATH ARE STANDING READY FOR EXTRACTION!

X BROTHER BEAR AND THE EMPATH!

"This is so much fun it feels like a game! Let's call it hide the human," I laughed. I decided to tell Bella how much fun we were having.

P.S FUCK Bella were having so much fun. LMFAO

"Shit Emmett, don't tell her that, she'll think we're not taking this seriously," Jasper laughed.

"Too late, I've already send it."

"Where do you think she'll go?" Jasper asked.

"She'll go to those filthy mutts she calls friends," Alice said walking in to the room.

"I haven't been able to read her for a while now. I bet she's with that Jacob Black kid. And don't you think for even one second that I don't know what you've been doing Jasper Whitlock. How could you go against Edward that way, against me?"

"Darlin', don't take it personal. I just don't agree with the way you've been treating her that all. She's not a pet Alice. She can make her own decisions!"

You tell her brother, I thought.

"Everything I'm doing is in the best interest of Bella. I'm trying to take care of her. She should not be hanging around with filthy dogs and you two idiots shouldn't encourage her," She screeched. Holy mother of God that voice of hers, it fucking hurts my ears. I don't understand how Jasper could have sex with her. I know for a fact that she makes that same screeching sound when she cums. I love her and all but if I were Jasper I wouldn't touch her screeching ass with a stick!

I shuddered at that thought and decided to pay attention to the argument again.

"That's where you and I differ. I think Bella is capable of making her own decisions and just because you don't agree with them, doesn't mean they're wrong."

Their argument stopped when I heard the beeping sound of my phone, indicating I just received a message.

I took my phone out of my pocket and opened the text.

I gave Jasper a look to make him understand that the text was from Bella and that we shouldn't say anything in front of the pussy supporting pixie.

He nodded his head slightly to indicate he understood.

Our attempt at secrecy had no use though because the evil pixie was smarter then I gave her credit for.

"That text is from Bella isn't it? Let me read that text right now!" She demanded.

When I opened the text I immediately saw that Bella had used code words. Nothing in this text could be used by Alice or fuckward to determine where she is. Besides it's not like they're complete idiots. Alice already saw Bella's future disappear so she knows she's probably with the wolves.

I handed her my phone.

"Emmett no! Don-" Jasper started to say before I interrupted him. "Don't worry; she won't be able to understand." He looked at my grinning face and understood immediately.

A grin matching my own showed on his face. "Damn! I'm gonna lose that bet aren't I?"

"I'm afraid you are," I said, looking smug.

Alice started reading the text out loud.

WARNING RECEIVED

NO EXTRACTION NEEDED

ESCAPE PLAN EXECUTED

I'M ALREADY IN THE WIND

X THE CRIMSON KLUTZ

Jasper started laughing so hard he literally fell on the floor. Believe me that is hard to do when you're a vampire.

I, of course, was laughing too.

"What the hell does that mean?" Alice screeched.

"And who the fuck is the Crimson Klutz?"

That of course only made us laugh harder.

"Jasper Whitlock get of that floor right now! Why are you laughing? Tell Bella to come home. JAASSSPEERR!"

I swear to God if I were human, I would have wet my fucking pants! This was just too much.

Alice gave a small high pitched scream. "Fine! Don't tell me, but if you think you're going to get laid any time soon... think again!" She yelled, and walked out of the door.

Jasper stopped laughing "But darlin'-" He started.

"Ha! Save it Whitlock!" We heard Alice scream from upstairs before we heard door to her room being closed with a bang.

I laughed, "Looks like you're in the doghouse Whitlock!"

"Screw you Emmet! Wait until I tell Rose what you did to her car!"

"Emmet McCarthy Cullen! What the hell did you do to my car?" We heard Rose yell from upstairs. Fuck she must have heard us.

"Baby it's just a scratch, I swear. It was an accident!"

Jasper, that Asshole, was silently laughing his fucking ass off.

"That's it Emmett! No more sex for a week!"

"But baby-" I tried.

"You wanna make it two?" She yelled. I shut my mouth quickly.

Jasper continued laughing. "Ha I guess you're in the doghouse too huh!"

"You asshole!" I said punching his shoulder. "What the fuck did ya do that for?" I yelled at him.

He grinned. "Because, misery loves company!"

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