(I own nothing)

~Chapter Five~

**drugs in this chapter, as always, AND *gasp* sex. so if you've been waiting for this fic to live up to its M rating... here you go. :D **

I sighed, glancing at the clock above the stove. 4:13. I shook my head, kicking myself mentally. What was I, a lovesick teenage girl?

"What's goin' on, Zexxy?" Axel asked, walking into the room with a smirk on his face.

"Nothing. I'm bored." He raised an eyebrow at me.

"What time does Demyx get out of work?"

"Five," I replied- too quickly, I realized, as Axel snickered.

"Aww, isn't that sweet? Zexxy knows exactly what time his boyfriend gets out of work." I glared as coldly as I could at him.

"As if you're one to talk- I'm pretty sure I remember you carrying on and whining when Roxas had to stay an hour late at his job..." He shrugged, seemingly not bothered.

"It was tragic. We missed and entire hour of passionate love-making because of that." I pretended to gag, and he pretended to be offended. "Fine, then. Maybe I won't share this with you." Okay, he had my attention. Granted, not everything Axel tries to share is something that I want, but you never know with him.

"Oh? And what aren't you sharing with me?"

"Well... it is 4:19. And I know you're all heartbroken and lovesick, waiting for your honey boy." He dodged the half-hearted blow that I sent his way. "And I happen to have, right here, a joint, which we could light up, when the clock changes, if you want... Oh, there it goes. You in?" I shrugged. Why the hell not? As irritating as Axel was, he was still one of my best friends, and we hadn't hung out one-on-one in quite some time. I missed talking to him. I watched as he lit the end of the joint, taking a small hit, releasing it, and then taking in as much smoke as he could, which he held, as he passed it to me. As I hit it, I tried to ignore the intense way that Axel was watching me. "You really like him, don't you?" He finally asked, after he'd exhaled his huge hit.

"...Demyx?" I asked, as I passed it back to him, just wanting to make sure I knew who we were talking about here. I mean, of course that's who he meant, but then again, it never hurt to check.

"Yes, Demyx," he confirmed, smiling encouragingly at me. I nodded, feeling a grin slip onto my face. "SEE!" He shouted, pointing at my face, and scaring me half to death- I thought there was a spider or something on me. "This is why marijuana is good. The only time I see you smile- a real smile, at any rate- is either when you're with Demyx, stoned, or a nice combination of the two." I thought about it for a moment.

"Yeah... I'm happy when I'm with him and/or stoned. And I relax, so I don't feel so uptight about letting people know what I'm thinking or feeling or whatever." Nah, we weren't high.

"I'm glad you and Demyx work so well together."

"Me too." I smiled, but then realized that without Axel's and Roxas's efforts to introduce an uncooperative me to an overly-enthusiastic Demyx, none of this would have happened. "Axel... thanks. Thank you, and thank Roxas. I gave you two hell about even meeting Demyx... I know the kind of awful person I can be to be around, but you guys kept trying, and now I owe my newly found happiness entirely to you two. So thanks." Axel was silent for a minute.

"Well... you were unhappy, but you didn't realize it. I couldn't stand to see how lonely you were, and how you wouldn't let yourself get close to anyone." We thought about what we'd just said for a moment in contemplative silence.

"I know I wouldn't have thanked you if I wasn't high, so thanks for sharing your joint, too," I admitted to Axel, giggling a little.

"Well, I wouldn't have sounded so mushy if I wasn't high, so I guess we're even," he countered, running a hand through his red spikes. I handerd the small remainder of the joint back ot Axel, coughing as the harsh last hit got the better of me. He stubbed it out and stored it in an empty Tic Tac container. Thinking that it must surely be time for Demyx to be home, I glanced at the clock.

"What? How is it only 4:45?" I groaned. "We've been smoking for ages!" Axel laughed, shaking his head.

"It seems like it, doesn't it?" He sighed, glancing at his phone longingly.

"What time does Roxas get out?"

"Six... so far away..." He gave me a mournful look. "Hey!" he brightened as soon as the idea hit him. "Come check out what I got! I was going to wait until everyone was here later, but I think I'm going to Roxas's, so I might as well show you now. And Demyx, when he gets here." I followed him into his room, sitting on the bed near him as he pulled something out of a duffel bag, setting it on the bed between us. "Check this out!" He urged, his unnaturally green eyes lighting up with excitement.

"Um..." Well, I wasn't sure what it was. It looked like something electronic, a plastic box of sorts, with a long plastic tube. "That's a nice... thing you have there," I told him, giggling.

"It's a vaporizer! C'mon, Zexxy. Get with it! I helped this guy move all his furniture down three flights of stairs, so he gave me this for $100. It's usually like, three times that much, and it's in really good shape." Still, I wasn't sure I understood.

"Cool? What does it do?" He smacked his forehead with his hand.

"A vaporizer? Like, for weed? Ring any bells at all?" I shook my head, shrugging. "Okay. Sit here with me; you've been missing out." He pulled a pill container out of his duffel bag, opened the top of the vaporizer and poured the weed into the bowl. He closed it and turned it on, and stuck a plastic bag (which had clearly been made for the machine) on the end of the tube. As soon as it was mostly full, he pulled it off, careful not to lose any, and replaced it with a second bag. "Here." He handed me the bag. "Inhale from that, and then give it to me. It will feel like you didn't get anything at first, I know." I did as he'd instructed. I wondered what this would do- after all, it wasn't smoke, but clear air. And then I exhaled, and I could taste the air- which was now weed-flavored. One hit, and I was totally high. I liked this thing. It didn't even really smell like weed in the room. A little, but considering the amount of weed we were smoking (vaporizing?) it was pretty good. "Well? How you feelin', Zex? As well as I am?" I blinked at him, looking around groggily.

"Oh, I am still here," I stated stupidly. Don't ask me to explain, I have no idea where I was going with that, or what I was trying to say.

"Yes, you are still here. And guess who's going to be here soon?" I jumped up, looking at the clock.

"5:15! Demyx will be here any second!"

"That's what I'm sayin'!" I sat back down suddenly, feeling the blanket fibers against my legs, until I heard the car that Demyx and Roxas shared pull up outside. "Zex! Guess who's here? Go get him!" I didn't miss the fact that he was talking to me like a dog, or a small child, but I couldn't be bothered to let it get to me. I made my way to the door, where Demyx was just raising his hand to knock. I threw the door open and jumped into a shocked Demyx's arms (he barely managed to avoid dropping me).

"Uh, hi, Zexion?" he sort of asked.

"Hi Demyx! How are you? How was work? I missed you..."

"Have you guys been smoking without me?" I giggled.

"Sort of." I pulled him behind me into Axel's room.

"Hey, you're here! Zexxy here has been moping for like, an hour, so I brought out my new vape... wanna try it?" Demyx's eyes lit up.

"Yes, please!" Axel got it started up, and passed a bag to Demyx. Within a few minutes, we were all giggling and laying curled up together on the floor. I snuggled against Demyx's neck, wrapping my arms around him. He ran one hand through my hair, tracing the contours of my chest with his other. I smiled, content, and tilted my face upward before I realized what I was doing (although I didn't stop when I did realize), searching for his lips. Almost instantly, they were on mine. The small moan I let out didn't go unnoticed by Axel. "Okay, you guys. Don't do anything in my room. I have to go pick up my honey sweety pie, so... please."

"It would make us even," I reminded him. He coughed.

"That's totally beside the point."

"Oh no it's not." I shook my head. "You still owe me."

"What? Nothing was ruined!" He protested.

"But you were too hungover the next day to even stand!" I winced, remembering the mess I'd been left with that day. "You didn't clean up any of the mess you made- and I took care of you while you were puking your guts out." He said nothing for a moment.

"Alright, fine. I owe you. Happy?" I smiled sweetly at him. "Even so, I'll make it up to you some other way. Don't mess up my room, please? I'm going to be at Roxas's, so have a good time! I'll see you tomorrow." I waved at him, as my mouth was currently being occupied by Demyx's. "Alright then! I guess I'll just leave you guys to it. If you've destroyed my room tomorrow, I'll be very angry." I stuck my tongue out at him, but almost instantly, Demyx covered my mouth with his own. Axel shook his head as he slipped his shoes on, grabbed his duffel bag, and walked out the front door. As he left, I felt a little apprehensive. What were we going to do? I had no experience, so I was nervous. And Axel had been my friend for years, so he'd always sort of... protected me, as cheesy as that sounds.

"Zex?" Demyx asked, pausing. "You okay?" I nodded quickly.

"Yeah... just... a little nervous."

"Well... we don't have to do anything you're not comfortable with," Demyx said softly, smiling at me.

"W-well that's not it, but... I just... haven't... I don't know what I'm doing with that sort of thing!" Damn, was I blushing! I could feel the heat rising off of my skin.

"Don't worry, Zex. Just leave it to me," He instructed, kissing me deeply as he ran one hand along my leg, drifting closer and closer to the inside of my thigh. I felt my blood, which had just rushed to my face, travel to another, lower part of my anatomy. The hand that wasn't gently pushing my legs apart for better access as tangled in the back of my hair, holding me close. I wasn't sure what to do with my hands, but I realized that I wanted to touch him- and so I did. I ran my hands through his hair, stroking his cheek gently.

"Should we go into the other room?" I asked breathlessly. "I don't actually want to ruin Axel's room..."

"Of course!" We relocated to my room, which, although smaller, I was more comfortable in. And then, we pretty much picked up where we'd left off. Demyx kissed me softly, stroking the side of my face as he looked at me, his eyes full of emotion. "Zexion… I love you," He whispered, before kissing me again. I threw my arms around his neck overwhelmed by the happiness and love that I, too, was feeling. He slid his hand up my shirt, slowly, but I was getting impatient. I shoved him lightly, and then took my own shirt off. His eyes grew round. "Your nickname suits you…"

"What are you talking about?" He winked at me.

"You know, sexy Zexxy!" I rolled my eyes.

"Whatever. I think it's your turn, though…" I tugged at the hem of his shirt, and a moment later, it joined mine on the floor. I gasped at the sensation of skin against skin; he was so warm! I inhaled deeply, not wanting to ever be away from his scent. I couldn't keep my hands off of him; I explored every curve of his chest, loving the way his breath hitched as I touched him. I felt suddenly emboldened, and I slipped my hand just below the waistband of his boxers. His eyes widened, but instead of saying anything, he just kissed me fiercely…. and kept kissing me, until I had to pull away, breathless. He took this opportunity to kiss me down along my jawbone and neck, down to my collar bone, and continuing to trail kisses down to my belly button.

"Do you mind…?" I wasn't sure what he meant, but I shook my head furiously. He could do anything to me that he wanted to. He slid my pants down around my knees, and then all the way off. I couldn't watch. I gasped, clenching my eyes shut, as he took me into his mouth, swirling his tongue around the tip and sucking lightly. I couldn't believe this was happening; I'd never felt anything like this before. A few seconds later, I felt a slight intrusion in the back. It hurt a little, but I couldn't focus on the pain- not with what he was doing to me in the front. I clenched my fists tightly, my nails cutting into my palms. A moment later, I felt another finger join the first, and I couldn't stop myself from crying out quietly. Demyx hummed, running his other hand along the back of my legs and caressing my… well, my testicles. Damn, Axel is right; I'm a total prude! I could feel my cheeks burning (not those cheeks!) as I whined, needy and almost pained-sounding. He massaged them gently as he worked to stretch me (I'd read enough to know what he was doing, and to know that it was necessary, as the rectum is a nonelastic- no! There I go again, getting all technical, just because I'm nervous!), and I was so caught up that I almost didn't notice as he slipped another finger inside me. He probed deeper, and then he found my prostate- I'd heard that the sensation was amazing, but I'd never thought that it could feel like this! I cried out loudly, closing my eyes and draping one arm over my eyes. Demyx removed his fingers, and then gently moved my arm off of my face.

"Don't hide from me; you're too beautiful! I want to see you," he chastised me, smiling as I opened my eyes. He leaned in to kiss me, and I threw my arms around his neck, pulling him down on top of me. I nuzzled against his chest for a moment, then took a deep breath. There was no turning back now…

"I'm ready," I whispered, and he kissed me even more intensely, before jumping out of bed and rummaging around in his messenger bag (yeah, he's a little gay). He rejoined me a second later with something foil in his hand, kissing me again, and looking deep into my eyes.

"You're sure?" He was so considerate! But we needed to get on with this, before I changed my mind. I nodded forcefully, and he kissed my forehead. "Alright. Give me a second." He tore open the little foil package, and put the condom on. Okay, now I was nervous. He was rather well-endowed… The apprehension must have shown on my face, because he stroked my cheek. "Don't worry, I'll be careful," he assured me. I nodded, pulling him closer to show that I was ready. He spit on his hands, making sure to coat the already lubricated condom quite thoroughly with saliva. Hey, as far as I was concerned, the more lubricant the better. "How do you want to do it?" I stared at him. Surely he was joking? How the hell should I know?

"I'm telling you, Demyx. I don't know what I'm doing… whatever you think is best." He nodded.

"Alright then, like this is fine. Lay back, and try to relax. It will hurt, but if you're tense, it will be a lot worse." I was so glad I had someone like Demyx to teach me. Despite being nervous (okay, terrified), I still trusted Demyx. Trusting people isn't something I'm used to, so the sudden realization gave me a slight boost of confidence; I knew he was the right person. He positioned himself, and began to carefully push in. I gasped in pain; the slowness of the action was killing me.

"J-just do it, please!" I gasped, my breaths short and ragged.

"Are you sure? It will hurt…"

"Yes! Just… do it all at once," I begged.

"Okay… i-if you're sure…" I nodded desperately, and in one quick movement, he was inside me. I whimpered, clenching my eyes shut and my teeth together. I felt like I was dying, from the inside out. "I'm sorry! Zexion, I'm sorry… a-are you okay?" He panted, and I could tell that he was having a hard time staying still; I didn't answer, and he gave me a good three or four minutes to adjust, to get my breathing back under control, and to force myself to relax. He was right, it hurt less if I didn't tense up, but it was such an unusual sensation, having something actually in me, that it was difficult. When the pain had faded to a dull ache (which in itself wasn't exactly unpleasant), I kissed his shoulder.

"I'm okay now… sorry about that."

"Don't apologize! I'm so sorry I hurt you…" Now he sounded pained.

"It's okay! I asked you to! Now, are we just going to talk all day, or are we actually going to do something?" I smirked at him, knowing that he couldn't refuse a challenge (of sorts).

"Alright then, if you're that eager…" he thrust into me, forcefully (but not roughly). He nailed my prostate head-on (no pun intended), and I heard myself make some weird noises, which I'm not really accustomed to making. "That was a good sound, right?" He asked nervously. I nodded breathlessly; I could't make my voice work properly. He smiled, and kissed my forehead. "Good!" He started up a steady rhythm, rendering me pretty much helpless. I couldn't even form a coherent thought, let alone actual words. There was still some pain, but I didn't even register that I was in pain; the pleasure was so overwhelming, I had tears coursing down my cheeks. Demyx kissed both of my cheeks, slowing when he noticed the wetness there. I shook my head, whimpering.

"No, d-don't stop!" I was getting really close to… well, I knew what came next, but it didn't really feel like lustful, sexual pressure- it was like something I needed, something much deeper and more emotional than the word 'sex' can describe. I needed to get closer to Demyx, but he couldn't really get any closer- he was inside me, on top of me, all around me. To me, there was no outside world; everything was Demyx- everything that mattered, anyway. He must have been getting close, too- he was moving more quickly, and his thrusts were more uneven and desperate. He hoisted one of my legs up, so that it was wrapped around his waist, and the different position gave him even better access- I'd wanted him closer, and now he was even deeper inside me. The new angle made him hit my prostate in a new way, and with a cry of something that might have been his name (I didn't even know what I was saying), I came. I was again overwhelmed by the pure, unbridled pleasure, and I accidentally let out a sob, clinging tightly to him. He thrust once more, and with a strangled, relieved groan, I felt him come inside of me. We lay there in silence as we caught our breath (and stealing the occasional kiss).

"So… you okay?" He asked, sounding just the slightest bit apprehensive.

"You could say that…" He smiled, kissing me sweetly.

"Good… I'm sorry I hurt you." I put my hands up.

"Shut up, already! You told me it would hurt, and I told you I was okay…" I frowned. "It was… okay for you? I mean… I know you were being careful and all…" He shushed me with a finger over my lips, and then his lips on mine.

"What kind of question is that? I wasn't being that careful… you're amazing, you know that?" I blushed.

"Oh, whatever…" I mumbled, hiding my face. "Ugh… I'm kind of disgusting," I observed, noticing that my stomach was a bit… sticky. I rolled over, swinging my legs off the side of the bed.

"Zex, wait-" I tried to stand up, and my legs promptly gave out beneath me. I landed in a sitting position on the hard floor.

"Owwww," I wailed, as needles of pain shot up my spine and throughout pretty much all of my body.

"I tried to warn you," he lamented, hurrying to help me off the ground. I leaned heavily against him, and he supported me as we walked to the bathroom. "Sit." He sat me down on the toilet while he filled the bath tub, and then helped me in. It was embarrassing, but I couldn't stand on my legs when they were so wobbly. I sighed as the warm water coursed over me, soothing my sore muscles.

"Aren't you going to join me?"

"Only if you don't mind," he replied, stepping in and sitting behind me, wrapping his arms around my shoulders. I leaned back against him and closed my eyes, reveling in the sheer closeness and comfort.

"Demyx?" I whispered. He nuzzled my ear, nibbling on it slightly.

"What is it?" He asked, sounding concerned. I sighed.

"I love you," I whispered a little tentatively, slightly nervous that he would reject me (yeah, I know, ridiculous, right?). I needn't have worried, though; he nuzzled against the side of my face. I hummed in contentment.

"I love you too, Zexxy."

Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.
~Lily Tomlin

Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.
~Woody Allen

Sex is emotion in motion.
~Mae West

A/N: This chapter gave me a hard time. I agonized over it for a long time, and then today, I just sat down and wrote almost the whole thing. I was on a roll. If there are errors... I'm sorry. I'm posting before I go to my Russian class. :D

Sorry to keep you waiting so long, and I forgot my quote when I posted the last chapter. It's fixed now, but it's still a huge fail on my part. To make up for my inadequacies, I put in a couple of quotes.

forgive me?

Without forgiveness, life is governed by... an endless cycle of resentment and retaliation.
~Roberto Assagioli

ugh, I hate writing lemons. it's so embarrassing! but whatever, I'll get over it (maybe).

*many thanks to soundofmadness223*

let me know what you think!