Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight

Thanks to my wonderful awesome kick-ass Beta; Elaine Davies, A.K.A. Twilightfan871

Previously:

I smacked him. "Dork, come on we have to get going, my brothers hate waiting, especially Emmett. He has the patience and pretty much every other emotion of a two year old." I smiled.

"I still can't fucking believe I've got vampires as in-laws. Taha Aki must be turning inside his grave. There must be some rule about that somewhere," He muttered.

"What was that?" I asked sharply.

"Oh uuuhm nothing? I was just thinking about meeting your brothers. Can't wait!" He said with fake enthusiasm.

I grinned. "Come on Lassie, let's make you some friends."

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

We Oughtta Call You Major Tactless

Bella

We arrived at Sam's house.

When we got out of the car I heard Paul chuckle softly. I gave him a confused look, but he just smiled and said, "The guys are talking about the meeting."

Talking? Yelling was more like it. I could hear the boys from outside and I didn't even have wolf hearing.

Paul took my hand and we walked to the door. We walked in without knocking. Not that anyone would have heard if we had knocked, even with werewolf hearing.

We seemed to have walked right into an argument.

"That's not fair, why does he get to go?" Embry whined.

Sam, who looked like he was gonna lose it any second now, closed his eyes and covered them with his hand.

"Because we're not the ones who said 'vampires are cool'. We need someone who realizes we are going to see our enemy, not attending a garden party!" Jake yelled.

"If that's the case then why is Quil coming? I distinctly remember hearing him say the same!" Embry yelled.

I decided to put a stop to this because as amusing as this sounded it looked like it could go on all night.

"What's with you whiny bitches?" I asked. Everyone turned around startled.

I smirked. "You guys didn't even know we were here did you? So much for heightened senses," I teased.

"What's going on?" Paul asked. I could clearly see he already knew judging by the amused look on his face.

"I wanna go to-"

"Embry is cry-"

"Jake is being an assho-"

"I'm going to kill them all if they don-"

Everyone said at once. Sam who obviously reached his limit yelled for silence. He turned to Paul.

"These fuckers are under the impression that they get to choose who goes to the meeting and who stays behind. They're obviously under the misconception that this is a democracy!" He yelled. "I say who stays and who goes! Jared you're going."

Jared tried all he could to hide his smirk.

It didn't really work because Embry saw it and gave him the finger.

Sam sighed."Jake, Quil you're coming too."

Jake and Quil gave each other a satisfied grin.

"Uhm Sam..." I started. "Not really trying to tell you what to do here-"

"Oh why the hell not? Everyone else is. So just say it," Sam grumbled while rubbing his eyes.

"Well maybe it's best if you take another wolf with you...one that doesn't see the Cullen's as enemies. I mean it's not like you want to start a war right? So maybe you could take Embry-"

"Hell yeah!" Embry interrupted.

I gave him a glare. "Or Seth with you? I know you need to leave La Push protected, but you could take one of them and leave Jake, Quil or Jared instead," I said hesitantly.

Jake glared at me.

Sam scratched his head looking thoughtful. "Nah that wouldn't work. I'm leaving Seth and Leah to guard La Push and Embry is staying because he is on Collin and Brady watch. They still haven't phased." Jake, Jared and Quil did a little happy dance. Fucking Idiots!

"Well whoever is going we need to be leaving right about now. My brothers are waiting," I said a bit impatiently. I couldn't wait to see Em and Jas again. I missed them so much.

Paul gave me an amused smile.

"Yeah, yeah I heard ya!"

Jake Quil and Jared hurried their asses outside before Sam could change his mind. Paul chuckled softly and put his arm around me while we followed them outside.

I heard Sam give Leah, Seth and Embry instructions before he followed the rest of outside.

"Alrighty then everybody," Sam gave me a hesitating look, "Don't take this the wrong way Bella, but I want you," he said looking at Jake and Quil, "to phase, while the rest of us stay human. I want you to be careful. Look for a trap, or deception of any kind. Got it?" Sam asked looking at the wolves. "When I give you the signal, you can phase back, I just want to be sure there is no trap or something."

I rolled my eyes at Paul. He just gave me an apologetic smile. They were never going to trust each other; vampires and werewolves I mean. It's that whole 'mortal enemy' thing.

It kind of sucked because I wasn't planning on giving up my brothers and I was pretty sure Sam was going to try and make me. It didn't matter that he seemed to be accepting this for the moment. I loved Sam, but he could be one ruthless son of a bitch sometimes, especially when he was in alpha mode.

I knew that being with Paul meant I was going to have to have to justify my relationship with Emmett and Jasper. That's why I told Paul from the beginning: I would not give up my brothers. Not even for him. He didn't say much about it, but I knew this was going to be a major problem in our relationship. That's why I wanted them to meet each other. I figured maybe if he learned to love them to, he wouldn't try to make me choose.

I was starting to think that was just a fantasy though. I was starting to feel the elephant on my chest again.

"OK people, let's go!" I heard Sam yell. Paul slid his arms around my waist. "You OK, baby?" He asked worried.

"Yeah I'm fine," I lied.

I gave him a quick kiss. "I just can't wait to see my brothers that's all."

I could see that he didn't really believe me, but he let it go regardless.

"Well let's get going then, they're waiting."

He turned around so I could get behind him. "Hop on babe, your ride is waiting."

I jumped on his back and we moved in a blur. I could see the wolves and the guys who didn't phase running. The wolves were faster of course and I kind of wished Sam had told them all to phase instead of just two. I would have loved to ride Paul. I snickered a bit at that thought.

"What? What are you snickering about?"

I laughed. "Nothing, I was just thinking about riding you," I said innocently.

"What?" He chocked. "Uhm Bells, since we're going to meet your brothers and all, this might not be the best time to talk about riding me, your kinda turning me on.

"Later though, in the comfort of our own home, you can talk about riding me. Better yet why talk when you can do?" He smirked.

I laughed. "I was talking about riding you in wolf form!" I said mock exasperated.

Suddenly he stopped running. "What? Tell me you're not into that whole sex with animals thing, because I may turn into a wolf but I would never ask you to have sex with me in wolf form." He frowned. "Hmmm if you offered of course...I wouldn't know how to refuse you," he continued with a thoughtful expression on his face.

"What's wrong with you? You really are a sexual deviant! I meant ride you like this," I said pointing at our present positions. "Like a ride, you know."

He blushed "I knew that!" he said quickly.

I laughed and gave him a disbelieving look. "Sure you did...pervert."

He sighed and started running again. "You're never gonna forget about that one, are you?"

"Nope," I said still laughing. "That one will come back to haunt your yummy ass."

"Well at least you think my ass is still yummy," he grumbled.

"Your ass is definitely yummy, perverted or otherwise."

Paul slowed down when we arrived at the meeting place. I could see Emmett and Jasper standing there waiting impatiently.

Our little conversation had delayed our arrival and the others were already there standing in safe smelling distance from my brothers.

Emmett started bouncing like Tigger when he saw me. "Bells!" He yelled while trying to make his way to me.

When I say trying, I mean he was currently being stopped by the chorus of growls coming out of the wolves mouths. The ones in human form and the ones that phased, even Paul.

Emmett gave them an irritated scowl and Jasper went into his major mode. Although I was irritated as hell, I could totally understand. The fact that I did didn't make me react any less angry though.

"Oh would you guys cut the crap! Jacob! I know you're feeling cocky because of the lack of oven dishes but I assure you I'm quite capable of finding a suitable replacement," I threatened, using an oddly formal phrasing.

Jacob who was in wolf form whimpered softly.

"Yeah that's what I thought! Now cut the crap and let my brothers pass! That means you too Paul! That means all of you!"

The wolves stepped aside to let my brothers through. Paul was the only one who stayed close to me, shaking silently.

"Paul!" Sam warned.

"I'm okay! I can't help it, but I'll be fine!" He said giving me a tense but semi apologetic smile

"It's okay baby, I understand. But the rest of you fuckers better cool it, or I might get upset!" I pouted.

The guys (the one in human forms at least) gave me an apologetic smile.

"Sorry," they grumbled.

Emmett started laughing. "Bells you have these dogs wrapped around your little finger, and to think you had me and your brother worried."

Jasper was laughing silently, no longer in his major mode. "Seriously Bells, did they hand you their balls voluntarily or did you cut them off yourself?"

"Oh please!" Jared scoffed. "That coming from the big scary mosquito's who are ruled by their wives pussy. But then again, if anyone should know anything about having no balls you guys would be it, huh?"

The wolves were howling with laughter, two of them literally.

"Let me guess... J-Wolf?" Jasper asked with a scowl on his face.

"Yep that's me, but you can call me Jared. J-Wolf is just my spy name."

I was watching all of this with an amused smile on my face. So far so good. I decided to bring their focus back to me. "Aren't you gonna hug your sister?"

Jasper ran to me in vampire speed, which earned him a growl from Paul. He halted before he reached us and looked Paul in the eye. "Can I hug my sister please?" He asked calm. I think he used his calming influence on Paul because Paul stopped shaking and reluctantly let me go. The second he did I was held in a tight hug by Jasper's cold body. "God I missed you!" He breathed in my hair.

"Dude it's been only like a couple of days. I saw you before you left on your hunting trip," I said, laughing softly.

"Why darlin' does that mean you didn't miss me? I'm crushed," he said semi jokingly while releasing me from his embrace.

I wrapped myself back around him. "You know I did! I always do!"

He returned my embrace and kissed the top of my head. "Darlin' you smell," he stated matter-of-factly

"Hey!"

"Well you do! I don't mind though."

"Dammit Jasper quit hogging her, I wanna hold my sister!" Emmett bellowed.

Jasper gave me one last kiss on my cheek and released his hold on me. Emmett took his place immediately. "Little sis! I missed you! You need to come around more often I haven't seen you for a whole day! Jasper is boring without you!" He yelled while tightening me in his bear hug.

"Hey!" Jasper said with an indignant cry.

"Well you are!" He turned his face to me.

"Did you know what I had to do to get him to play video games with me? The motherfucker made me watch 'Gone With The Wind' with him! Gone With The fucking Wind Bella!"

Sam, Jared and Paul started laughing their asses off.

"Hey you dogs! Quit laughing this ain't no laughing matter! Do you idiots usually find torture funny?"

This made them laugh even more.

I turned his face to mine. "Aah poor baby. Did bad little Jasper torture my sweet little Emmy wemmy?"

He started laughing. "Fine! I get it, imp acting like a baby," he grumbled. "But seriously Bells, have you seen the movie? How can you not see that as torture?"

I smiled."I liked it actually, it's a good chick flick."

Jasper cursed softly after hearing me say that.

"Ha! You heard her say it! I didn't put any words in her mouth. It's a chick flick! I won! Dude you so owe me your man card!"

Jared snorted. "Please, as if you pussies even have man cards."

Jasper turned his face towards me.

"Are you very attached to him?" He asked me with a mock scowl.

I smiled. "Forget about him, let me introduce you to Paul."

Emmett gave me a confused look. "I know who he is! We have met the wolves before. He usually talks a lot of shit and growls at us a lot, though I'm not sure why he isn't saying anything now."

Jasper smirked. "Our Bella probably has his balls in her back pocket! That's my girl, let no man tell you what to do...unless it's me or Em of course."

"Yes Bells they're right!" Paul said "Let no man tell you what to do! But you can listen to them though because we already established that they aren't men...just pussies," he laughed. The wolves started howling with him.

I tried hiding my laugh with a cough when I saw my brother's faces.

Sam turned to Jake and Quill and gave them some kind of signal because they turned around and ran for cover. Em and Jas gave me confused looks. "They're changing back to human form." I explained, and as soon as I finished my sentence Jake and Quill came running back to us, both wearing the pack's signature cut off jeans.

"Sup leech- uhm I mean...very, very nice brothers of Bella." Jake said while watching me nervously. Quill started laughing his as off "Bella! Now look at what you did! ou took our big, bad, strong Mini Alpha, and turned him into a pussy." He snickered.

Jake scowled. "You try getting hit in the head with an oven dish, and then we'll talk! I dare you to piss her off, she's not the same Bella anymore dude, now, she's all scary and shit."

Emmet, Jasper and Paul gave me proud looks. Em and Jasper looked like proud parents. I rolled my eyes at their antics and turned back to the matter at hand.

"OK you guys, as entertaining as this is -and believe me it is entertaining as hell to watch you insult each other. Thanks for that visual of having Paul's balls in my back pocket by the way...NOT! - we came here for a reason." I turned to my brothers. "Brother Bear, Major Empath formerly known as the Empath -Jasper please tell me I don't have to say that every time I use you new name?- I request the Intel you discovered by using a honey trap."

Jasper's face lost his amusement and Emmett just sighed with a dreamy look on his face. "Yeah honey trap. Good times."

Jasper elbowed him. "Would you get on with it?"

"Pfft jealous much," Emmett muttered to the hilarity of the wolves.

"The pussy and the evil pixy have found a way to make you stay with the pussy," Emmett said looking grim.

Paul moved closer to me until he stood behind me, and put his arms around my waist.

"How?" He demanded. "Do they plan to just take her? They know our pack will fight for her! Even if she wasn't my imprint, she is still ours to protect and we will fight for her! I will fight all of you for her! Bella is mine and I am hers, no one can break that bond, and the first motherfucker that tries will have to learn to live without is head!" Paul said in an angry voice. I could feel the panic laced underneath all that anger.

He started shaking while still holding me in his arms. I could see the panic on Sam's face; he must be having flashbacks to him and Emily. I wasn't worried though, I knew Paul wouldn't lose control, I would never let him.

I turned around in his arms facing him. "Paul baby, this is the part where you calm down. I'm not leaving you and no one is taking me from you. I am yours in every way possible...you know that!" I said giving him a pointed smirk.

He instantly calmed down bringing his face to my neck where my hair covered the mark he made earlier- the mark that proofed without a doubt that we belonged to each other. He kissed my mark softly giving me goose bumps all over my body. I was instantly wet. He pulled me against him and licked the mark. I moaned softly, and I could feel his cock pressing against my body. I knew he was ready to fuck me, God I wanted him to fuck me.

He kissed me softly on my mark and made a trail of soft kisses until he reached my mouth. When he reached my mouth he instantly started devouring it. He kissed me hard and with fever. I felt his need, it tightened my pussy. I could feel my panties getting soaked.

"Ahem... Ahem! Oh for the love of all that is holy would you two cut it out? Another second of this and Jasper is going to start humping my leg!" Emmett yelled.

Paul stopped kissing me, and leaned his forehead to mine. "Fuck! I forgot we weren't alone. I'm sorry," he muttered.

"Oh I know! I was right there with you believe me," I said with regret.

"Damn you for making them stop!" I heard Quil yell. "It was like soft porn." He said with a dreamy look on his face.

Jared, who was standing next to a dreamy eyed Jasper, scowled at Quil. "You know, imprinting on a fucking two year old has made you one pervy son of a bitch. I think you're the only one here that enjoyed seeing that."

Quil grinned. "Dude imprinting on Claire has nothing to do with that, I have always been a pervert."

Jake howled his agreement.

"Besides, I'm not the only one. Look at the leech. He clearly enjoyed it," he said pointing at a still dazed Jasper.

"Hey that's not right! He didn't wanna see that! He can't help it, it's his power. He got sucked in by their lust that's all. I guarantee you neither of us wanted to see our sister in that way!" Emmett said shuddering.

I glared at Emmett. "Oh please, like I enjoy hearing you doing Rose while she's screaming like a banshee.'Oh spank me harder Emmett, spank me!' "I mocked in Rose's voice.

Emmett looked proud. "Yep that's my Rose, always wants it harder."

"OK first off all; I could have lived an eternity without hearing that disturbing piece of information. And second of all; could we go back to the part where you said Fuckward and Tinkerbell had a plan to take Bella from me?" Paul said while gently rubbing the back off my neck.

"Yeah I'm kinda curious about that myself. What do they plan on doing?" I asked.

"Yeah uhm the plan. Right!" Emmett said looking uncomfortable.

"What is it Emmet? What are they up to?"

"I received this Intel from Rose. They don't talk about their plans where me and Jas can overhear them, because they know we are against them. But thankfully they're not very careful about Rose hearing them. Edward knows she doesn't care. But those Idiots did not count on my; 'Spank the hell out of Rose until she tells me what I want to know' technique. Also, they didn't take my awesome love making skills into account," he said looking smug.

"Ugh! Would you get this over with? I swear to God, one more word about your 'awesome lovemaking skills' and I will send you so much lust you end up molesting one of the wolves...or worse, Jessica Stanley!"

If Emmett could have fainted, I think he would have. And don't even get me started on the wolves.

"Fine!" Emmett huffed. "I just wanted to ease her in a bit. Not tell her bluntly! We ought to call you Major Tactless!" He muttered.

Hearing Emmett talk about tact was scaring the hell out of me. Emmett has as much tact as Cordelia Chase or Anya Jenkins. Maybe even less. Fuck! This must be really bad. I leaned my body back into Paul's embrace. Paul, who was still standing behind me, wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Emmett, just say it! Whatever it is, I doubt they can make me go back to Edward. What are they gonna do? Kidnap Charlie?" I joked. "Just tell me, what is their plan?"

"Well... Bells, I don't wanna freak you out, but it involves the Volturi," Emmett said looking serious.

I gasped. Paul tightened his hold on me and used his hand to turn my face towards him.

The wolves all went into protective mode when they saw my face. Sam, Jared and Paul were looking at me, obviously wanting to know who the hell the Volturi were. I didn't say anything for an entire minute.

Then I said the one thing that was running through my mind;

"Fucking motherfucking Fuck Fuck! I knew I should have let his ass get killed by the Volturi!"

Hi Guys,

Please review I need some feedback.

Do you guys want me to finish this story? Am I still on the right track? And is it still interesting?

The Edward and Paul showdown will be up soon. Do you want Edward to be able to read Paul's mind? Or do you want him to be closed to Edward because he is Bella's now?

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Stay Tuned, because I'm not done yet!

XXX Hanane XXX