"I knew it! It's a real person! And what's with the chain?"
"He'd attack me without it."
Gokudera nodded and added,
"I can understand that completely."
"Gokudera-kun, now isn't the time to be understanding!"
"IZAYA!"
Shizuo growled and bit on the chain to no avail.
"Tsk, there's no point to doing that, Shizu-chan. The metal is covered by Sun flames, so even if you bite into, it'll regenerate on the spot! But more to the point, have you met Hi-chan?"
"Who the fuck is that!"
Izaya pointed. Hibari was still on the defensive, half-crouched and assessing this new potential target.
"You. Are you strong?"
Shizuo lifted an eyebrow and his cat tail stood up as an exclamation point, ears twitching.
"Think you're funny, punk? You're one of the louse's fucked up kid minions?"
"My, my, Shizu-chan. You're being so mean, tsk. Speaking of Hi-chan, is there something you'd like to tell me?"
"What the fuck, is that a forest….? Just where am I? This isn't Tokyo!"
Izaya clapped.
"'Shizu-chan, I don't think we're in Tokyo anymore!'"
"IZAYA-KUN!"
The shout was enough to knock down Tsuna, Gokudera and Yamamoto, the sound wave hitting them straight on. Izaya stepped to the side at the precise right time. Hibari cracked one of his smiles.
"You're still not being honest to me. I think that there's a good chance you're Hi-chan's father. How could you, Shizu-chan! Going behind my back like this and fathering a child! Woe is me!"
"What the fuck are you blabbering on about?"
Shizuo finally bothered to take a good look at the tonfa kid. For a while nothing happened and one could even hear the wind whistling around the rooftop. Izaya wondering if pushing someone off the ledge might not be a world of fun. Shizuo frowned and popped a cigarette into his mouth.
"Doesn't look like me at all."
Hibari adopted an offensive stance.
"Smoking is strictly prohibited in school grounds. I'll enjoy biting you to death, seems like you're stronger than the flea guy."
Hibari's attack would have demolished virtually anyone unfortunate enough to be in its way but Shizuo picked him up easily enough and sent him hurling against the wall. Izaya gasped dramatically.
"Oh my! Shizu-chan is so manly."
"IZA-"
"Shizu-chan goes bye bye now."
Izaya cut him off by closing the box and closing Shizuo back in. Then he sauntered to the wall where an unconscious Hibari was still sprawled and produced a second box that Byakuran had left him. In this one Izaya found ropes and all sorts of other box-sex toys. Izaya tied up Hibari, humming along with Hi-bird who flew in circles above.
"Midori tanabiku, namimori no! Ah, Bya-chan is the best! This what these box thingies should be all about! Who needs pokemon creatures when you can get special Storm activation powered lube?"
And with this Izaya picked him up, Hibari was not as heavy as it might seem, and skipped to the disciplinary committee room where there was after all a very nice sofa that was such a waste not to put to some good use. Once secured here, Izaya rubbed his hands and did a happy dance. He had a special plan to spice things up a bit and it included writing a letter, which he now did, and then producing the Ten Year Bazooka from a pocket (his jacket was simply that amazing, really), tweaking with it some (as per Bykuran's instructions, as they were best friends for life) and then jumping into it.
A puff of purple smoke filled the room and then a scrawny teenage Izaya was standing instead of his usual self, red eyes blinking in surprise.
"Oh? What is this! I was just running away from Shizu-chan, maybe he hit me with that vending machine and I am now having some sort of delusion? Oh well! Look, some guy all tied up!"