Can you hear it?

"I . . . . I know," I said. I stood reclined against the kitchen wall, besides the white refrigerator holding the black phone as it hung on the kitchen wall.

"Um, nobody's going to call," said the soldier, with a worried tone now.

" . . . . . "

"Sir, you should get some rest," the soldier said as he slid my free arm over his shoulder. He's right, it was around 12 am right now. But I shook my head.

"N-no. I'm not ready to go yet. I want to wait," I mumble as I forced my tired eyes with dark bags under them to stay open.

"Sir, you have to go," he said as he pulled me away from the phone.

"N-no!" I scream in a tired, low voice. I try to, as much as my tired body would let me, resist. I grab onto the phone, pulling it with me, but the cord is too short for me to continue pulling on it. So the soldier grabs it and tries to pry it out of my hands, but I try to bite his hands. Another soldier joins him and tries to do the same thing.

"Sir! Face the facts! Nobody's going to call you! Everyone's too busy!" He yells at me in a desperate attempt to get me to calm down. Then, I stop and let go of the phone, it drops to the floor, one o fthe soldiers actually put sup a surprised face thinking the phone would have broken with the impact.

"D-don't tell me what I already know," I mummble as I let tears pour down my face. I covered my face with one hand as the soldiers helped me make my way upstairs to my room.

Its the sound of me being lonely and scared.

Chapter six: A better change

Hi. My name is Alfred. Its been a few years now since a dear person of mine, Arthur, left. We haven't been in good terms for a while. I think we're ignoring each other. Either way, I wish I could talk to him, but I don't want to be the one to make the first move because . . . . i've been feeling like . . . . everyone's trying to make me jealous.

"Hey, im going outside for a while!" I yell into the house as I step out of the kitchen door that leads to the backyard.

"Sure!" Yelled back one of my soldiers.

Im about to have a picnic.

Its been a while since I've calmed down. I don't worry or think about Arthur as much. We both have our seperate lives now. Might as well enjoy the best of it. Someday I'll see him again.

But then, my mood changed a little, I felt angry for some reason now.

Why the hell should I care about him? There's no way he puts this much thought into me! I shouldn't care about him! Here I am trying to think that everything is fine between us, but he doesn't care at all! Im just wasting my thoughts! This is all just going to waste. Its not like anyone cares about what I think. Why can't there be someone that just gets me and understands me and knows how much im suffering for them? I hate this, this only one sided attraction, because al of these feelings are going to waste.

"I love him," I say aloud to calm down my angry thougths. I've always felt if I ever leave my thoughts go on and on for too long, it will make me feel hateful towards everything. Towards him. I don't want that.

"I hate this," I say aloud now. Its like my mind can make me love him and then convince me to hate him. Maybe that's why I've never told Arthur how I feel about him, because I feel unsure of myself because of these thoughts. It makes me doubt everything I believe sometimes.

I then come to a halt. I've been walking in the middle of the woods for about five minutes now, and I think I've found a good spot to have my picnic. Its a small open patch of grass surrounded by woods. This is good, because I can still feel the cold wind here. Its that weird time again, the same weird climate it was when Arthur left that day. I sigh to myself as I take out a white, thin blanket from the khaki colored picnic basket and place it on the ground. There aren't many insects around here, but i just want to sit on something soft. Then I start taking out bags and containers of food. Chips, fries, burgers, anything my little heart desires! As I start shoving food in my mouth, I hear something rustling in a bush behind me. Though I don't bother to turn around. As long as it isn't somoene bringing me work, I wasn't going to be afraid.

"Hello Alfred," mumbled Ivan as he walked behind me.

"Hey old man reaking of age, would you like to sit with me and shove food in your mouth?" I smile at him as I tilt my head backwards to see him.

"Of course you annoying brat," smirked Ivan back as he sat next to me.

Ivan and I might now see each other eye to eye in lots of things, but we had the most important things to us in common. We wanted power, money, connections, and recognition. We were the superpowers after all. He was like my best friend in a weird way. My best frienemy, well so others tell me. I could tell him anything and he'd give me advice and he gave it honest, and cold-hearted. Which is what I liked. But Arthur used to be my main advice guy, so it kind of made me sad when I asked Ivan something. But I didn't have him anymore. So Ivan was there whenever I needed a shoulder to cry on. Well, I never told him anything too intimate, just the usual stuff. I promised myself I'd never tell anyone anything anymore. but I still had my occasional breakdowns which I felt to embaressed to have in front of anyone else except Ivan now. Its like because we disrespected each other so much, we are comfortable with each other. Its weird. But a good weird none the less. I trusted him. Besides, i've had about 4 or 5 of those ever since Arthur went away, and he didn't tell a soul. As he ate, Ivan took out a letter.

"What's that?" I asked with a full mouth as I point at it.

"Its a letter from Arthur I got. Isn't it pretty? He sent everyoen one, even me!" Smiled Russia as he opened it. My jaw would probably drop if it weren't stuffed with food. I swallow everything as Ivan opened it and read it. He started laughing histericly.

"W-what's so funny?" I ask.

Why didn't I get one?

"Well the letter!" He exclaimed. He was then writting a reply back.

"I'd egg him on!" He exclaimed as he was finishing. I look at my hands sadly.

Why didn't I get one?

"Well I wouldn't," I meekly say after catching a glimpse of what the letter had. It didn't seem like Ivan cared. He was too busy writting a reply back, chuckling as he did so. I felt so left out.

"Everyone that got a letter gets to reply back!" He exclaimed.

I felt so angry now. Whithout intending to, he rubbed in the fact that I didn't get to communicate with Arthur without considering how I'd feel. At this point in time, Ivan knew how I was about these little things. About how much anything relating to Arthur bothered me. Because I felt so left out and alone. Like nobody was on my side. Everyoen in Arthur's. Then I mentally slap myself. How could I say that? There are no sides in this! I'm just being a jerk, right? I'm being to obsessive with this. How dare I think Arthur as a bad person? He's just being nice is all sending everyone somethign small to laugh about. There's a good reason I didn't get one.

"You should realyy get your own postal service. Maybe then you'd get somethign form him," He said as he took out a new envelope to place the letter in.

I didn't have a postal service, but it wasn't fair. I couldn't afford one. Plus Arthur would, well used to, send me letters on a horseback mail carrier. It was harder that way, but he didn;t mind. I think. Wow, what a jerk I must have been not considering how hard it is to get one of those.

"Well it takes very long to get a letter from anyone!" I nervously laugh. He finishes licking th eenvelope and closes it. I'm getting a little more angrier. Why am I? Its a mesely letter with a worthless message but why am I carring so much about it? Its my own fault I dont tell Arthur he upsets me over this. I he taunting me or something? Oh yeah, cause this was a ridiculous thing to argue with him about not sending me something. -Sigh-, I don't blame him for not wanting to go the extra mile.

"C-can I use your post office to send him something?" I meekly ask. Just one letter to know how arthur was doing is all I needed. Maybe even send it in Ivan's name, that way he'll never suspect a thing! We aren't in speaking terms (I think) anyway.

"No, its mine!" Ivan said in an unnesesary whinney voice. I looked up at him and frowned. Well, it was a bad idea. I don't want to send him something in someone else's name, that'd made me feel bad. I notice how desperate I really am to talk to him. I want to punch myself for being the only person in the world with these kinds of thoughts. I would think that it would make anyone in the world very happy if they knew how much someone else thought about them so much like I was doing, but this statement itself is ridiculous because who goes up to someone and tells them 'hey i think about you al the time and take every little detail seriously and with lots of thought and consideration.' I mean, arthur doesn't even know I do that so I shouldn't expect him to feel happy all on his own. He'd have to be some kind of mind rader. Then again, I want everyoen to be able to read what I'm thinking, that'd make being in love so much easier. But when your in love, you have to tell your person everything, or else they won't pick up on it. So what I think anyway. Its not that I don't think Arthur can't pick up on anything of mine, its just that I think it might be too embarresing or he doesn't even care. -Sigh- sometimes I wished I knew someone that felt all this for me, that'd mean we think and assume and put lots of effort, emotionaly speaking, just like me. That'd be my ideal person. But every person is diffirent. I just hope someone out there knows I could make them very happy. I'd be really faithful now that I think about it.

" . . . . I see," I mumbled as I sigh deeply. I got up and stretched and started to walk away and down the small hill I was having my picnic in.

Can you hear it now?

"Where are you going?" Asked Ivan curiously, surprised I left so suddenly.

"Somewhere where I can be carefree and happy," I smile as I waved my hand without much importance.

I'm not going to stop loving him, but I'm not going to let my own thoughts and feelings bring me down.

I dont have to deal with this. I have my own life besides worrying who's Arthur with or what's he doing.

I'm full of confidence.

I smile to myself and five minutes into my glorious and bold move, i collapse on the cold, unforgiving ground.

"W-what's that snake doing? Is he bitting me? Oh damn, its poison . . . ess . . . "

And there I lay as I find myself overcome with pain and sleep.

I wonder if Arthur is finished with his work fro today?

Is the last thought I ever have before falling into a deep sleep, going uncoscious.

END.