A/n: Yeah, its been a while. I know I know, I will try to update more! xD

A record player. That's how it is.

"Sir, is that you? Help! He's back! He's injured and unable to get up!" Yelled someone in a panic. I couldn't open my eyes to see, but I could hear my soldiers, about three, running, their boots stomping on the puddles of water that were forming from the rain falling heavily. I can't feel my body. At least the pain is gone. I feel two of them pull my arms over their shoulders.

"Is he conscious?" One asked.

"No, I don't think so. When I came out to move the plants around he was already there," said another.

"He might be very sick."

"Why do you say that?"

"Well he's smiling. Who smiles in his condition."

"What? Smiling?"

I was happy because I was returning home to my usual daily life again.

I want to return to my life as a record player. Where I could predict what would happen and live a relatively calm, ordinary life.

"He must be glad to return home," laughed a soldier as they pulled me inside and brought me upstairs.

But I knew I could never return to that lifestyle. Because inside I was broken. Broken with overwhelming despair and uneasiness.

I'm like a damn broken record player, always stuck on the same track, saying the same old thing.

"No, he's been under so much stress. He's just smiling to put up a tough act. Like to show that he has to get past his depression."

A broken record player. All the tape and glue in the damn world couldn't fix me. I'm unabel to be fixed and change the track I am stuck on.

Not until Toris came along.

Chapter 8: Broken Silence

"Hello? How can I help you?" I ask looking straight into a young male's face that stared me at God knows how early in the morning in my own bedroom.

"You can help by getting off my bed!" I yelled kicking the guy off my bed.

"But im here to make you comfortable."

"Comfortable? I just saved your behind from other countries is all!" I exclaimed as I pulled my bed sheets over my head.

This kid's getting very annoying.

"You want me to cook food? Some breakfeast?"

"Sure," I uttered annoyed. I heard him get up from the floor and walk toward the door.

"WHAT?" I ask because he hasn't left.

"Nothing. Arthur," he laughed.

"WHAT? You annoying s. o. a-!" I started throwing pillows at his direction till I heard the door close. I angrily turned to one of the sides of my bed and grabbed my glasses that sat on the small table I kept besides my bed.

"That Toris! Who does he think he is listening to my sleep talking?" I mumble angrily as I clenched my fist annoyed. I sigh as I turn to my window, where the morning sun started to warm up my room.

I can't stay pissed at him. He has kind of grown on me.

"Are you two going steady? Long distance relationship?" He yelled from below laughing.

"SHUT UP!" I yelled as I stomped my foot on the floor angrily.

This is going to take some time getting used to.

Let me get this straight to the point. I saved Toris from being bullied. Well my boss did. Not that I don't like to help, its just that I know how much trouble i'd be for me. I was still under my little 'depression' stage when I took him in, so it was kind of hard for me to open up myself to the little guy. But, I found we had so much in common and I actually like him very much. He's nice, engaging in conversation, actually contributes when we speak, basicly I enjoy everything about him. Its just those moments he makes me angry on purpose. Well not make me angry, just tests my patience. But yeah, he's okay. Well, he's better than okay. He might be physicly weaker than me, but he is a hell of a lot tougher than me emotionaly. Maybe that's why I respect him so much.

"Alfred! Don't read at the table!" Yelled Toris as he smaked my hand with a greasy spatula. He was cooking bacon in my small kitchen.

"Ow ow ow ow! You hurted me!" I cry licking my throbbing hand.

"That's not a word and you really shouldn't read at the table. especially your dirty p-"

"SHUT UP! YOUR EMBARRESING ME!" I squeal turning my whole body around in the chair and face my back to him crying, my face red.

"Oh and by the way, are you wearing that apron to infatuate me cause if you are you are sadly mistaken FOR I AM FAITHFUL TO MY BELOVED!" I yell in a bold way.

"You mean the guy whom doesn't even know you've been crushing on him for months now and doesn't give an obvious damn about you and has no need for your love? Then yeah. He sounds like a real charm!" Said Toris making fun of me in an undertone of evilness.

"Aww that was cruel!" I exclaim placing both hands on my heart. The two of us then started laughing. Lets just say i've come to the point where Toris has taken up all the time I would have been worrying and crying over how depressed I was, to making me feel better and happy and even openly joke about my situation. This kid is wonderful.

"Where are we going today?" Asked Toris as he placed our plates on the table. I started to stack up scrambled eggs, bacon strips, and pouring strawberry jam on it as the pile sat between two pancakes like some weird breakfeast burger.

"I was thinking of visiting someone," I mumble. I jabbed a fork thru the delicious looking breakfeast sandwhich.

"I'm coming too."

"Why?" I said with a stuffed face.

"Because if you don't take me, i'll burn your house down."

"I-i'll buy another one!"

"And your stack of irrepleacable por-"

"TORIS I WANT YOU TO COME WITH ME!" I exclaim worriedly.

"I thought so," said Toris picking up our plates. As I breathed ina panic, he just gave me a cold smile.

"I thought so."

Dammit, I really hate Toris sometimes. I'm guilty of having a soft spot for me. But, he's my new friend I made and well, I should drag him down with my urk feelings about Arthur. What fault does he have? Well, my other friends like Matthew and Ivan don't really help. -Sigh-. Maybe Toris is the only friend I have that hasn't seen the dark, depressed side of me.

"Toris, walk faster will you?" I mumble as I yank on his hand for him to speed up. The two of us were walking hand in hand thur the woods, me leading us.

"I can't, your walking to fast!" He exclaimed as he walked a little faster to catch up with my pace. His hand felt so warm and sticky, I could feel it past my glove.

"Hey Toris. You hot or something? Your hand is all wet and sticky," I mumble as I turn to him puzzled.

"W-well that's cause of the warmth of the area!" He explains in a haste. Hmm, but its the middle of November, there's no way its warm. He must be havign some manly menapause I guess.

"-sniff sniff- Why are you wearing perfume?" I mumble leaning over him close.

"Oh, uh, well, because I like it better than cologne!"

"Oh."

"Y-you like it?"

"I guess. Its the perfume I would pick for my girlfriend to wear!" I exclaim laughing as I hip bump him. He'd usually laugh and do it back at me again, but, he just kept silent and looking down at our feet.

"S-so, where are we going exactly?" Toris asks.

"To go see Francis," I say with a sigh that said its gonna be a long visit.

"Oh, still with the counseling?"

"Yeah."

I wonder if Toris ever felt it annoying that almost everything I did or spoke had something or someway manipulated by my feelings for Arthur. I wonder if he found it disturbing?

"Oh goody goody! You are here! I thought you like totally forgot about me!" Exclaimed Francis as he walked in between me and Toris and pulled his arms over our shoulders, closing the wooden door with his left leg.

"Nah, I wouldn't! You do make the best food!" I laugh.

"Ah, can't pass up the offer of free food, no?" Francis laughed along with me. Then as we stopped in the middle of his living room, I felt Toris grab my right sleeve.

"Something wrong?" I asked as I calmed down. He looked at the floor, not daring to glance up.

"Is something the matter?" Asks Francis as he walks up to us. But Toris immediately makes a high, squeak sound, like he was terrified, and hides behind me, his small, trembling hands holding onto my shoulders for dear life.

"Ah, I get it, he is afraid of me. Its okay little Toris, I understand. After you've been used and dumped, I can see how upseting it-"

Before Francis could finish his sentense, Toris ran off into another room, out of sight from us.

"Dammit Francis!" I yell as I smack him in the back of the head.

"What did I say?" He asked as he rubbed his sore head.

"You said the forbidden words 'used' and 'dumped', thats what!" I hissed angrily.

"Oh, he is sensitive about that still?" Asked Francis.

"Well its human to! Gosh Francis, why are you so heartless! You should have considered his feelings! Can't you see he's still recovering from-!" Before I yelled anymore, I noticed the sly smile Francis was giving me.

"W-what?" I ask impatiently.

"You really have taken a liking to this kid, no?"

"Well yes! I love him! He's very close to me!"

"And when you say love, my dear Alfred, you mean love love or-?"

"He's very important to me kind of love!" Francis laughs a little, I feel my face reden. Anger? No, more like nervous.

"Look at yourself Alfred, I doubt it is just that kind," Francis says as he places a elbow on his hand, a hand under his chin that makes a movement at me. He was right. I stood tall, sturdy, my legs itching to just kick something. My arms trembled in anger, my hands in fists. I looked ready to attack someone. My face was very viscious, and not to mention burning in warmth and red. Well, actually from my cheeks to my chest I was burning in warmth. I slouch my shoulders so I wouldn't give off a viscious demeanor anymore. I placed a hand on my mouth in disbelief. Good thing my mouth was closed, I didn't seem so surprised by Francis's comments, well on the outside anyway.

"N-no Francis, I . . . ," I couldn't make out words. I just felt my heart beating faster and faster, to the point I can actually hear it as it throbbed in me.

"Come Alfred, lets sit and talk," said Francis as he sat on a leather red couch. I sit besides him, confused and nervous.

"So, how are things with Arthur?"

"I haven't spoken to him since he left."

"Oh really? How do you keep up about news on him?"

"Friends tell me. Or I hear that they did something with him, n-nothing really," I stared at my hands that were on my lap, I started moving my fingers nervously. I wasn't looking him in the face, I didn't want Francis to see how red my face was.

"My boy, your voice is trembling, like you want to break into weep. Do you get jealous or angry?"

"I . . . . I do want to cry. I do get jealous. When he does something with someone else or the sheer thought of him being with someone else. It makes me very angry and upset and jealous. Why didn't he invite me? Why can't I just yell at him and tell him how upset I am? Because he'll hate me and think I'm weird for being angry of him hanging around friends. For God's sake, i'm jealous of Matthew and Ivan! I don't like the thought of him being happy and social with other people. I don't like it! It makes me worry someone else will try to take him. And people have tried! I can't do anything because it'll seem suspicious on my part!" I utter as my voice get sweaker and weaker. My body slouches forward to the point where I'm holding my own elbows with my arms. I want to cry so bad.

"Are you scared of being rejected if you tell him your feelings? Maybe he already knows. You must know how he'd react, if your avoiding him."

"D-does it seem like I'm avoiding him?"

"Well, you haven't talked to him."

"B-but, i'll seem desperate."

"My boy, someone's probably already told Arthur. I mean, who in the world doesn't know you love him?"

"I'm scared. I'm so stubborn. I want him to realize I like him, I can't get him out of my mind, I miss and think about him every second so much I hate myself! Francis, I hate myself! I doubt everything I say! I uncosciously have my world revolve around him!"

"So, you don't want to talk to him, you want him to talk to you first, is that right my boy?"

"Yes."

"Hmm. That is quite difficult. I'm sorry my boy, either way, I see this backfire. You cannot keep waiting for him to do something. Maybe he likes you too and hasn't said anything? Hmm? Weren't you two close? Actually, let me rephrase that, the closest? Out of everyone he knows, you and him were unseperable. You two talked constantly. And you two were so cute when you'd get angry at each other. You two could keep each other occupied for hours. No, you could keep him occupied for hours. I've never seen that. Arthur is so tsundere and so confined to himself. You got him to open up and he obvious, to me, cares a lot about you. You are one of the most amazing people i've ever met Alfred. I wouldn't give meeting you up for anything in the world. You can easily put a smile on anyone's face. As stupid and arrogant you are sometimes, you really are happy and a joy to be around with. Arthur should thank the Gods every day for having you come into his little pathetic life," smiled Francis as he placed a hand on my left shoulder that was right besides him. I cracked a smile as I clutched my pants with both hands.

"R-really?"

"Oh yes. Your probably whats most on his mind. You make him laugh, smile, haven't you ever noticed he gets you expensive gifts and listens to everything you say? He understands you. Its just that sometimes he can be thick-headed and dense. But, none the less, don't be so heard on yourself,no? Your keeping all the stress and anguish to yourself. Why don't you share it or at least take a deep breathe and tell yourself 'this is not stressing. To be in love should is the greatest thing inthe world and nothing to kill myself over.' "

"Y-yeah. I should let myself carry all that. Your right Francis!" I exclaim as I hug him. I feel so happy now, hearing this man has lifted my spirits. But, surprisingly, Francis doesn't hug me back. I pull away.

"Er, Francis, what's wrong?" I ask smiling cluelessly.

"The walls have eyes," he whispered as he stared behind me. "Don't move, or he'll know we know he's listening to us."

"But Francis who-"

"Tell me Alfred. Did you know that Toris loves you?"

"W-what?" What's Francis telling me? T-Toris? In love with me? No, this can't be happening.

"He is deeply in love with you. I can see it a mile away," smiles Francis as he pants my back. I stare at him with widened eyes in frozen shock. He wasn't kidding.

"Toris, come over here. I can see you," called out Francis as he pulled a arm around me and pulled me close to him against his chest. A door fastly opened, Toris stepping in the room. He looked tense, nervous and most unmistakenly of all, blushing like mad.

"Y-yes?" He asked as he walked slowly in front of us, not looking in our direction.

"You don't like me Toris? Or is it because i'm holding Alfred so close to me?" Asked Francis as he laughed. Nobody else did. I stared hard at Toris's face that wouldn't turn to look at us. I was waiting for him to give me some sort of sign to shine truth into what Francis was saying. He flinched a little, now trembling more and slowly shook his head.

"Oh really? You don't love him? I thought you did, well if you don't-" Francis pulled me even closer to himself, and then he did the one thing I'd never expect him to do to me of all people, he grabbed me. Not just grabbed me, but grabbed me in the most sensitive and warmest part in my whole body at this moment. My cock.

"Ahhhhh!" I let out a soft moan as I felt my lower region throb with excited heat that has been saving up for God knows how long. My face flushed completely red. My damn mouth wouldn't stop moving, wouldn't stop moaning! The last thing I wanted to be doing in front of someone who apparently 'loved' me by the cause of another.

"STOP IT!" Toris hissed as he grabbed onto my jacket and pulled be away from Francis. I groaned in pain and fell on my knees. It hurts a lot being grabbed then all of a sudden being pulled away as your being grabbed. I tried calming my breathing as I looked up at Toris, who glared at Francis. Francis stood up.

"Heh, now do you believe me Alfred?" He smiled as he placed both hands on his hips.

"H-he was just being a friend," I huffed as I got to my feet, Toris pulling me up. I couldn't help but reajust my pants and pull them up again. As I was, I felt Toris lock his arm under my right one.

"-" Toris had whispered something, but neither me nor Francis could hear.

"Oh, what's that my boy, speak up!" Said Francis as he now crossed his arms in fornt of his chest.

"I said, DON'T TOUCH HIM!" Toris yelled. I smile nervously at Toris.

"Toris, calm down, Francis is my friend and so are you. He didn't do anything to-"

"I LOVE YOU!" Yelled Toris as he finally looked straight at my face, his eyes swollen with tears and his face completely red. His poor, trembling eyes just stared into my shocked expression. He then unhooked his arm and then pushed the front door open, and ran off into the bright forest in front of Francis's home-like mansion.

"I told you," said Francis as he walked towards the door.

"Why?" I asked, my tone growing angry."Why did you tell me, why Francis? Why did you do that! Now we can't be . . . ."

"Because, stupid Alfred, he was never going to. We'd have another AlfredxArthur scenerio all over again. So now what are you going to do Alfred?" Asked Francis giving him a I dare you to run after him smirk.

"I HATE YOU FRANCIS!" I yelled angrily, knowing he had a point, and ran into the woods.

Toris was supposed to be my friend. He was suppose to be the one person that I can turn to when my world turned black and depressing. The one friend I could actually be happy with without Arthur even crossing into my mind. And now, he loves me? How awful it must have been for him to hear me talk about Arthur. How painful it must have been that, living so close and under the same room with the person you love most in the world, blabbed and obessed about someone else they loved, and not you. I must be the awfulest, most stupid person in the world to not see this coming.

"Toris! TORIS!" I yell as I run thru the woods.

What am I going to do? I'm going to lose him! What can I do? What can I do!

I turned my head sideways to my left, where I heard a soft, crying male voice. I could see Toris on the ground, sitting in a fetus position, holding his legs close up to his chest, his face on top of them, covering his probably red and wet face. I run up to him and kneel in fornt of him. As I grab his shoulders, he looks up to me.

"Alfred, are you going to kick me out now?" He asked, not bothering to even clean his face.

"What? Why would I-?"

"You love Arthur, not me. You just had me around as some sort of emotional replacement for him! You had me around to help you forget all about him, didn't you? All that time we spent together was all lies!"

What is Toris saying, why is he lashing out so much, where did all this come from all of a sudden?

"TORIS! CALM DOWN!" I yell at him as I shake him a little. He quiets down.

"You weren't a replacement. Your special to me. Didn't you hear anything Francis said about you and me? I . . . . truth is, i'm very fond of you." I turn my face away from his, feeling myself go red.

"Alfred, I didn't tell you I love you just so you could blurt out your feelings too."

Oh Toris, you are so smart.

"But, then-?"

"I don't know what I want Alfred. But I don't want to force you to also blurt out all your feelings. I don't know what I want. I'm . . . confused," he lifted his hands to grab the sides of his head.

"I'm scared Alfred. My body gets so warm and nervous when your so close to me and I love everything about you. I don't like seeing you so close to anyone. It makes me angry and jealous. I've never felt that before about anyone! I've never wanted to hurt anyone before like today! I just wanted to punch Francis in the face and keep you to myself and tell him to styay away, that you aren't his. I love hearing you talk about Arthur because one day I'd like to be missed and over-thought like that too! By you. Your the most amazing, interesting and just wondeful person I've met. Alfred, I fell in love with you, hard and fast." He cried. I take my sleeve and wipe his face and shake my head.

"No you didn't Toris. You have a reasonable liking to me. I don't blame you," I smile confortingly at him. Its true, this happened before while I still loved Arthur also, pretty big coincidence huh? I also thought I fell in love too fast and hard. I've had confessions like this come from people I should have expected but never had really crossed my mind. But, that first time that happened was so scary, I didn't know what to do or say. But Toris, he was just like me. Longing to be in the person they loved's thoughts. Wanting to see them every single day. Have no one else but themselves have the privelage to be so close and intimate to them. Toris and I were so alike. It was impossible for at least one of us not to fall in love with the other.

"I don't know what I want either," I mutter as I slide my arms around him and press him against my chest, against me.

"Alfred, I can hear your heart," Toris mumbled as his breathing calmed down. I take in a deep breathe and exhale as I place my chin over his soft, brown hair.

"I can feel your face going warm," I laugh.

"Alfred, what are you doing? Hugging me like this? You know I . . . . "

"For just this moment, can we stop thinking about our actions and just . . . . enjoy this?" I utter. I had no idea what I ment, but, my body sure did. I could feel my whole body relax as I sat on top of my bent legs and made myself more comfortable my repositioning my arms around Toris. I could feel him breathe in and out at peace.

"You don't know how much I needed a moment like this," he murmurs in a low voice.

"You don't either," I murmur back. The two of us could hear our breathing getting softer and softer, our eyes closing little by little and our bodies bending over and over to the side. Soon, we both fell asleep, my arms locked around Toris, Toris snuggled up comfortably on me, as we plopped on the cold earth and grass, the shade of the trees covering us as a quiet wind blew thru them, rustling the dying leaves as the sky darkened.

Quiet steps walked up to our huddled and close bodies, steps of someone that had been watching us this whole time.

"You bloody casanova," mumbled a low voice in a longing way as they slid a white envelope in my brown coat. They fixed the black cape they wore, pulled the hood of it even higher over their yellow spiky hair, and walked away, looking behind as they did so with that longing expression and sad smile engraved on their face.

a/n: review!