Chapter 11: Fall for You

As I was staring at Adam in my doorway I couldn't help but reach over to him and wrap my arms around him. He sobbed into my shoulder and when he was like this I couldn't help but no be angry anymore, I mean how could I stay mad? I brought him into my apartment and closed the door behind us and we sat down on my couch. I let him cry into my shoulder and just completely fall apart. After his crying started to slow down, and it just turned into soft hiccups, he started to pull away from me and sit at the opposite end of the couch refusing to look at me.

"Adam," I whispered, "please just look at me." He didn't budge, he didn't look up, he just sat there, as I watched more tears fall silently down his face. "Adam, will you please talk to me?" He looked at me I could clearly see the pain in his eyes, why is he so upset, what happened? "Adam, what happened?" I questioned, "Why are you so upset?" He still wouldn't answer me, refusing to speak, why won't he talk to me? "Adam, why won't you talk to me?" He stared at me, I watched more and more tears find their way down his cheeks, "Please," I whispered, "talk to me."

"I-I", his voice was barely audible; "I don't want to hurt you anymore."

"You can't hurt me anymore then I've already been hurt," I whispered, "just tell me what's wrong."

"I'm a fucking idiot." He whispered.

"No you're not." I whispered.

"Yes I am!" he says louder, "I couldn't see what I was doing to you, I was hurting you even more day by day, and no matter how much I've tried to help, I've just made everything worse for you."

"You didn't make everything worse." I say.

"Yes I did," he says, "I fucked everything up, I just can't do anything right anymore, I couldn't even tell how upset you were, it's all my fault."

"Adam," I whispered, "it's not your fault…"

"Yes it is!" He almost yelled and look at me with tear filled eyes. I reached over to him and pulled him into a tight, warm hug, not willing to let go. He tried to fight me at first, but then son enough gave in and returned my hug. I slowly and carefully started to let go of him, and then look him in the eyes.

"Adam," I whispered, "it's not your fault, it was never your fault, if anything it was my own fault, I brought all of this upon myself, I'm the one we dragged you into this, you didn't know Adam, so don't blame yourself! I should've been honest with you from the start and told you how I was feeling, then maybe things would've worked out better, but I didn't because I was afraid something like this would happen, and Adam I don't want to hear you saying this is all your fault because all of this my fault." He stared at me for the longest time thinking of what to say next, he put his hand on mine, looked me in the eyes and softly kissed me on the cheek.

"It's not your fault either," he whispered, "you couldn't help it, if I was in your situation I would have done the same, I mean it's not easy telling someone you're in love with them, there's the fear of rejection, the fear that nothing will ever be the same between you and the other person, that it will all just end in heartbreak and you'll just get hurt in the end," He took a deep breathe, "I know that feeling, I know that feeling better than you think I do, and the last thing I wanted for you was to end up feeling like that, my last intension was to break your heart." I stared into his eyes; my heart was pounding in my chest.

"Tommy, when you admitted to me that you loved me, I was so stunned, because honestly, for the longest time I loved you, I loved you with all my heart, all I wanted to do was be with you, to wake up with you every morning, go to sleep with you every night, to kiss you whenever I wanted, not just on stage, I wanted you to be mine, and only mine, but I knew it could never be, I knew I was just going to get hurt in the end, because you were straight, or at least I thought you were." He sighed softly.

"So I told myself I had to get over you, that we were only friends, and that's all we'd ever be, so once I hid all of those feelings for you, I thought they were gone, I thought I'd never have to deal with them again and we could just be friends, the two of us, just friends. While doing this I had blinded myself to what you were feeling I had no idea what I was doing. When you told me you loved me all of those feelings I thought had disappeared came pouring out and I said that I loved you too, Tommy, when I said that, I meant it." My heart beat even faster; oh my god is he serious?

"and then once we I realized what was happening, I panicked, I thought I was making you do something you didn't want to do and I realized I was cheating, so I made up some sort of weird theory in my head that you were just confused and that you didn't really mean it when you said you loved me, I just told myself that we were friends. Then I told you that I didn't mean it when I said I loved you, Tommy I have no idea why I told you that, but I guess I was just so panicked, I just decided to take the coward's way out and say I didn't mean it. I will hate myself forever for saying I didn't mean it." My face was red, my hands were shaking, I could swear I was about to cry, am I hearing all of this right? He loves me?

"A-Adam I-I…"

"Then when you told me all those things at rehearsal, it opened my eyes; it opened my eyes to everything, your pain, your feelings, just everything. I hated myself so much for hurting you, for putting you through all of that, and when you wouldn't respond to my texts or calls I assumed you hated me, and never wanted to see me again or something like that, but when you weren't talking to me I finally had time to think, and I realized how much I was really in love with you, how much I couldn't live without you, so I-I broke up with Sauli."

"You broke up with Sauli?" I asked shocked.

"Yes," he whispered, "I couldn't possibly give him all of my love when I obviously love you more." I smiled softly, I couldn't believe that he was saying all these things, this is a dream right?

"Adam," I whispered, "I love you so much, I love you with every inch of my heart, no matter what kind of shit you do I still can't help but love you, even though I was convinced that I hated you for doing all of those things to me, I still loved you, and I couldn't help but always have you on my mind and it pissed me off, I couldn't even think straight ever since I was willing to admit to myself I loved you, I don't even think I was able to think straight before that."

"I didn't want to be in love with you, I was scared it would ruin our friendship, I was afraid you wouldn't feel the same, so I just kept it all hidden, and didn't say a word, but it became harder and harder for me to do that, so when I had enough of it, I finally just called, you and I don't regret doing that anymore, because if I hadn't we wouldn't be sitting here together right now, and I'd probably still be hurting, but when I'm with you all the pain stops." He smiles softly, and cups my cheek softly then leans slowly in and touches his lips to mine. As he slowly pulls away he smiles softly.

"I love you," he whispers softly in my ear, "I'm so sorry I didn't tell you sooner." I look into his love filled eyes, tears filling my eyes, they start to escape.

"I love you too," I whisper, "more then you could ever imagine." His smile grows wider.

"Why are you crying glitterbaby?" he says as he kisses my tears away.

"Because I'm so goddamn happy." I whisper and softly smile; he leans down and kisses me again and again and again. Then he's cuddling me in his arms, not willing to ever let go of me. After a while I realize how tired I am and I start to yawn.

"You tired glitterbaby?" He asks softly.

"Mmhm." I say softly.

"Ok," He whispers as he picks me up, "let's go to bed." He carries me into my room, and I change into some pajama pants and a shirt, Adam looks at me for a moment then takes off my shirt.

"I prefer you without a shirt on." He smiles. I roll my eyes at him, Adam just takes off his shirt then we climb into bed together and turn off the light. Once were in bed his arms wrap around me and right before a fall asleep he says those three words that make me smile and my heart beat faster.

"I love you glitterbaby." He says softly.

"I love you too, babyboy." I say softly, then I slowly fall sleep in his warm comforting arms, to the sound of his heartbeat.

There you guys go! Chapter 11! Wasn't it cute? :) I personally loved writing the chapter, oh if only this would happen in real life, and we could watch. :D Anyways I'd like to thank anyone who's reading this, you mean the world to me :) and I'm loving the positive feedback, it's what's keeping me posting :D I'm also having some ideas for new stories even though I like to focus all of my energy on one story I might start working on them while I'm writing this one :D Anyways I hope you guys liked it! I love you all! :)

~Sarah~ :)