Huge thanks to InsaneOrange! You're so awesome :D
"Heard from Potter?" Blaise asked, sipping his Butterbeer.
"Why would I hear from Potter?" Draco muttered vehemently.
Blaise was quick to misjudge Draco's vehemence. "Um… I don't know. He came to see me," he said, knowing that he was treading in rough waters.
"Why?"
"How else do you think I came out of hiding?" Blaise asked, rolling his eyes. "He tricked me into it. That's how. And," he said, pausing for effect, "want some dirt on him?"
"No," Draco said glumly. Of course Harry had gone to see Blaise. Harry had gone to see Blaise so he could invite the ponce to the Spring Gala. Along with a dozen other Slytherins. And he didn't have the decency to visit Draco? Fuck Potter.
"He's gay!"
Draco sputtered in shock, pushing away from the counter. "What the hell, Zabini?" he asked, startled.
"I know, right?" Blaise said, laughing gleefully.
"No! I mean, how do you know he's gay?" Draco corrected frantically. "Did he– I mean, did you…"
"What? No!" Blaise said, offended. "He's definitely not my type."
Draco fixed a hard stare on Blaise. "I thought he was dating Astoria," he said slowly.
Blaise snorted. "But really, I always thought she would have higher standards," he laughed. "No. That was just her being… Astoria. We wanted to make sure he was gay. So, we– we made sure he was gay. Won a Galleon off it."
"Oh…"
"Anyway," Blaise said, moving on, "Adrian and Terence were asked to try out for the Falcons. Heard about that?"
"What?" Draco was getting too many shocks in such short minutes. "They're what?"
"Thanks to Potter. Damned Potter. It's like we're destined to owe him a debt of gratitude for all he's done for us measly Slytherins," Blaise muttered, none too happy about it.
"I'm sorry. What the hell is happening here?" Draco asked, throwing his hands down in defeat.
Blaise shrugged. "Fuck if I know. I'm surprised he hasn't talked to you. He bailed Narcissa out, didn't he?" he asked.
Draco nodded distantly. "He did. Why would he talk to me?"
"I don't know. It's like this crusade. He's trying to… clear our names, I guess? That Spring Gala was his idea. You know, integrate us into the Ministry and maybe get the Minister to notice us. Potter knows really high people in high places and all. Anyway, like, three days later, Theo gets an interview call! Weird, huh?"
"So… Potter… did what?"
"Potter's doing his 'job'. He thinks he's doing his job, anyway. You know, peace and love and all that crap. I don't know. He probably gets off on this."
Draco grimaced, his thoughts racing. Harry was doing his job.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa! You don't really expect me to do that, do you?" Harry asked, raising a finger to stop all the chatter.
"What? Why not?" Adrian asked. "You were the one who said professional Quidditch, not us."
Terence, Ron and Neville nodded in ascent, eyes wide with expectance. Harry tsked. "But I never… I mean, it wasn't really a serious statement, you know? I just… said it because they expected me to say something," he said faintly.
"Whatever. No harm in trying out, right?"
No harm in trying out. But what if he was good? Worse yet, what if he was awful?
"That's a big inheritance, Harry," Andromeda said, her eyes wide.
"For Teddy," Harry smiled. "My parents left this for me and now I want to make sure Teddy has it too. It made a difference."
"Hmm…"
"What?" Harry asked, folding up the document again.
Andromeda appeared detached as she looked at Harry. "He's like your own son, isn't he?" she asked.
Harry blushed. "Um… He's… more like a… brother?" he said hesitantly.
She laughed. "You must be the nicest older brother in the world, then," she said.
"I'll take what I can get," Harry chuckled.
"Well, obviously half the reason he got in is because he's Harry Potter," Blaise said.
Harry wanted to sputter indignantly, but sadly, he knew that Blaise was right. The tryouts had gone well. A little too well. In fact, he wasn't even asked to come back for more practices. The team practically handed him the Quidditch robes on a silver platter. "But I'm good," Harry said sullenly.
"Yeah," Seamus answered. "Good at kissing arse."
Harry wanted to slam his tankard on the table but then realized how unrefined that would seem. He slammed his tankard on the table. "I don't have to listen to this crap," he said dramatically.
Ron and Theo were laughing uproariously. Adrian said, "It's true. He was quite good."
"Got another arse kisser here," Blaise said, pointing to his friend. Adrian scowled, giving Blaise the two-fingered salute.
"Whatever," Harry said loudly, quieting down the rowdy crowd. "I'm not taking the job."
A collective groan filled the table. "What?" Ron all but shouted.
"Yeah! What?" Dean crowed.
Harry shrugged in defense. "I mean, I'm not cut out for it. You know, the practices and traveling and interviews and–"
"Money and fame–"
"And mansions and parties–"
"And fans–"
"And money–"
"And more money–"
"And even more money."
Harry threw his hands up in defeat. "Why do I even bother?" he asked.
"I'm so drunk," Harry slurred.
"Then that makes me hammered," Ron answered. He pushed Harry through the door. "Sleep here tonight. I don't trust you to get home in one piece."
Harry didn't have the stomach to answer. He dragged himself into the drawing room, bumping his shins into too many things. He fell onto the couch and sighed. "Goodnight," he said happily.
"Hmm," Ron murmured, trying to conjure a blanket for Harry. "Goodnight."
"Hey, Ron," Harry said, pulling Ron down by the arm. Ron stumbled to the floor, crouching awkwardly by Harry's head. "You're happy, aren't you?"
"Of course."
"Hermione is happy, isn't she?"
"Mhm," Ron murmured absently, finally managing to drag the blanket over Harry.
"Teddy's happy, isn't he?"
"I'm sure he is."
"I'm happy, aren't I?"
Ron smiled faintly. "I'd like to think so," he said, nodding.
"Good. Everybody is happy," Harry grinned, his eyes closing. "That's good."
"You're worse off than me," Ron said, patting Harry's head. "Go to sleep."
"Sleep," Harry sighed. "I love sleep."
"Oh? News to me."
Harry tsked, trying to get comfortable. Ron managed to insert a pillow between Harry's head and the armrest. "You know who isn't happy?" Harry asked, curling on his side.
"Who?"
"Draco Malfoy. That damned and selfish son of a bitch."
Ron laughed. "Whatever," he garbled.
"Yeah, whatever. Screw his arse. If he doesn't love me, I don't love him either," Harry said stubbornly, shaking his fists.
Ron's eyes went wide as he tried to stop from laughing until daybreak. "What?" he gasped, snickering.
"I don't need him. I don't need anybody. I'm my own man," Harry bellowed. Ron clapped his hand on Harry's mouth, trying to shush him. Harry shook his head, trying to dislodge Ron's palm. "Go away."
Ron chuckled to himself, pulling his hand away. "You've made us all very happy, okay? Now go to sleep."
"Sleep," Harry whispered, hugging himself warmly. "I love sleep."
Ron rolled his eyes. "Oh, I know," he said, getting up unsteadily. He staggered towards the stairs.
"I don't ever want to wake up," Harry called out.
"Goodnight, Harry," Ron said firmly from the steps, grinning.
"Yeah, yeah," Harry grumbled.
Thunder sounded around him, crashing through the building. Loud screams erupted, echoing against the stone. Harry gasped, clapping his hand to his scar. It burned, as though splitting. Shouts for help and yells were hurting his ears and causing his stomach to lurch. The cold was unbearable. His teeth chattered and he couldn't breathe. Suffocating. He heard his name being screamed over and over again. But he didn't want to open his eyes.
Abruptly, the screams died down. Silence.
He was alone.
He could hear the vague voices of his friends calling out to him. What was he supposed to do? This felt so familiar. His head hurt. It hurt too much. He didn't want to think anymore. Everything was too dark. He was stuck.
"LET ME GO!" he screamed in anguish, trying to get out of his mind. "LET ME GO!" He didn't know who he was fighting. He just needed to get out of his mind.
Why?
He took a shuddering breath, clapping his hands to his ears.
Why?
"Don't… don't do this," Harry sobbed.
Why?
It was happening all over again. He was being buried in his mind. He was being shut away.
Why?
"It's too hard," Harry cried. "I can't do this."
"It's okay, honey…"
Harry opened his eyes.
"Mum," he gasped in relief, falling into Lily's arms.
"What's wrong, Harry?" she asked.
"I don't know. I don't understand. I don't understand anything."
She hugged Harry warmly as he grappled onto her. "I love you... It's okay. I'll be here for you," she said.
"What's wrong with me?" Harry asked, terrified.
"Nothing's wrong with you," Lily said, trying to calm Harry.
"Then why am I here?" he asked, unable to stop his tears.
"What do you want, Harry?" James asked, kneeling beside his wife and son.
"Nothing. I don't want anything," Harry said helplessly. "I don't– I don't want anything…"
"Hmm…"
They were gone.
"No," Harry breathed, reaching forward and grabbing nothing. Everything was dark. Pitch black. He couldn't see. "Please…"
Harry brushed away his tears, angry at everything – himself, his mind and the world. Why did this keep happening? Was he this weak? He just wanted to… he just wanted to… do what? He didn't know. He didn't know what he wanted to do.
He blinked.
He was in Hogsmeade. It was so white. Snow. He scooped it in his hands, smiling faintly. He liked snow. It was never this nice in real life, was it?
"You could stay," Fred murmured.
"I could," Harry answered.
"Why don't you?"
Harry shrugged. "There's… things I have to do," he said, not really sure himself.
"Such as?" Fred asked, lobbing a snowball at Harry.
Harry smiled, brushing the water off his hair. "Such as… Ron and Hermione."
"Mhm…"
"Teddy and Andromeda."
"Mhm…"
Harry traced shapes in the snow with the toe of his shoe. "Draco," he murmured inaudibly.
"That does seem to be the problem, doesn't it?" Fred asked, tapping his chin theatrically.
"Malfoy's the problem?" Harry asked sullenly.
"I don't know," Fred shrugged. "Is he?"
Harry shrugged as well. "I don't understand him," he said.
"So?"
"So… nothing," Harry muttered, catching a snowflake in his gloved palm. "I like it here, Fred."
"I rather like it too," Fred laughed.
"No one to answer to…"
"No rules…"
"No publicity…"
"No people…"
They blinked at each other. "Okay…" Harry murmured. "So maybe it sucks."
"It does, doesn't it?" Fred asked. "I wish George were here."
"You'd have so much fun if George were here," Harry sympathized.
"Instead," Fred sighed, "I have George's ear…" He held out his hand that, indeed, held George's ear. "Hardly the same thing."
Take your time.
Harry blinked, frowning. "Did you say something?" he asked Ginny. She didn't say anything, frowning and looking thoroughly miffed. "What?" he asked, moving to sit beside her on the beach. The sun was setting. Orange. "I hate orange," he grumbled, glaring at the sky.
"Shut up, Harry," Ginny said tiredly.
"What? I'm just saying."
"You never listen to what I have to say."
Harry watched as Ginny grabbed a fistful of sand. It trickled out of the spaces between her fingers. Time slipping away. "I don't?" he asked, feeling hurt.
"No…"
He looked out into the sea, watching the sunset. "Do you like orange, Ginny?" he asked.
"It's my favorite," she whispered.
"I'm sorry," Harry murmured, pulling Ginny into a hug. "I'm so sorry for leaving you."
She tightened her grip around Harry. "You aren't," she said dejectedly. "You aren't sorry…"
"I am!" Harry argued, never letting go of Ginny. "You– you're perfect, Ginny…"
"Hmm."
"You're perfect for me," Harry emphasized.
"And then you left me," Ginny murmured.
"I'm sorry…"
"So, I left you," she continued. Harry stiffened in response. "I left you, Harry. Remember?" she asked. He pulled his arms away from her. She blinked at him. "I left you. You dragged me down. So I left."
Harry flinched, feeling more alone than ever now. "Oh," was all he could manage.
"You don't understand," Ginny said, placing her hands against Harry's cheek gently so he would look at her. "I left you."
He couldn't help but look into the calm brown eyes. She left him. For another man. He was–
The brown faded to grey. The calm shifted to purpose.
Kiss me.
Harry blinked, returning to the brown. Ginny shook her head, getting up. "You really are hopeless, Harry," she said, brushing the sand off of her skirt. "Take a flight."
He was on the Quidditch field. He mounted his Firebolt and took off into the cloudless sky. The wind rushed through his hair, exhilarating and fresh. He laughed in delight, preparing for a nosedive to the ground. At that moment, the Snitch flew past Harry. He couldn't pass up the chance. He took off after it, heart pumping and fingers tingling. He weaved smoothly, taking quick cuts as he mirrored the golden ball with wings. He pushed his broom faster and faster until it was trembling. He stretched out his arm, leaning into the reach. With one last push, he nearly tumbled over his Firebolt as he lunged and grabbed the Snitch from midair. He laughed triumphantly, clutching his prize in his fist.
You'll miss that, won't you?
Harry paused and straightened up, looking around.
"You know something, Potter? There are days when I just want to strangle you and get it over with," Draco drawled.
Harry had his wand out and a scowl on his face. "Not if I have anything to say about it," he spat out.
Draco rolled his eyes. "Sarcasm's lost on you," he muttered, walking away.
Harry frowned in confusion. Then he realized who he was talking to. Draco. "W– wait," he stammered, running after the pale Slytherin.
"What?" Draco snapped, turning around.
Harry didn't know what as he jerked to a halt. "Um… h– hi," he said uncertainly.
"Touched in the head, are we, Potter?" Draco taunted.
"You… already know that," Harry said.
Draco smirked. "Suppose I did. What do you want?" he asked.
A kiss. "A kiss," Harry said without thought.
Draco's eyes went wide. "Go fuck yourself," he said, snickering. "Ask Weasel. I, for one, am not interested."
"You are interested!" Harry exclaimed before Draco could walk towards his common room.
"I assure you, I'm not."
"You love me," Harry argued.
"And you have me mistaken for someone else," Draco murmured. "Goodbye."
Harry bit his lip in frustration, watching Draco disappear into the dark maze. "Mistaken?" he echoed, dropping his gaze to the ground. He was barefoot. "Hmm…"
He looked up and found himself in bed. With… "Ron?"
"You wanted a kiss?" Ron asked, arching a brow.
Harry gagged and kicked at his best friend. "Get out!"
Ron cackled, shaking his head. "Really, Harry… Sometimes I wonder," he sighed, hands behind his head and legs crossed as he stared up at the canopy.
"What?" Harry asked scathingly.
Ron shrugged. "You do realize that this isn't real, don't you?" he asked.
Harry blinked at the redhead. "Huh?" he asked.
"You know none of this is real, right?" Ron asked again.
"I– y– yeah, I know that," Harry said. "Why are you asking?"
Ron now turned on his side, resting his elbow on the pillow and propping his head up with his hand. "Why aren't you trying to get out?" he asked.
Harry shook his head. "I don't really know how," he said carefully.
"How'd you get out last time?" Ron asked.
"I don't know," Harry said, groaning in dismay as he closed his eyes in frustration. "I don't remember."
"Couldn't possibly have had anything to do with me, could it?" Draco whispered.
Harry whipped his head to the side. Empty. "God damn it!" he swore.
Harry scowled at the empty side and turned around. Nearly ending up on top of Draco. "You're that eager?" Draco asked, laughing.
"What?" Harry breathed as Draco wrapped him in a hug.
"Harry," Draco murmured, tangling his fingers into Harry's hair and tugging. His lips were against Harry's an instant later. "I love you."
It didn't feel right. Harry wrenched away from Draco and wiped his mouth. "You…"
Draco latched onto Harry's shirt, pulling him close again. "Me…"
Harry slapped Draco's hand away. "You aren't Malfoy," he said, feeling sick. "You… you aren't…"
Draco smiled, blinking at Harry. "I guess I'm not," he said sadly.
"Oh…"
Draco placed his hand on Harry's cheek. "He's not in here, Harry," he said.
"He's out there," Harry finished.
"He is."
Harry squeezed his eyes shut. "I'm always going to be like this, Draco. Broken. You can't fix me every time this happens," he said, hugging himself.
"I like fixing you, Harry…"
"I could hurt you again," Harry said thickly.
"I could hurt you right on back."
Harry smiled miserably. "You could."
Draco kissed Harry's forehead. "I love you."
"I know…"
"I won't leave."
Harry felt tears prick his eyes. "I know."
Draco grinned slyly. "Tell me, Harry… what do you want?"
What do you want?
Not 'nothing'… He wanted something.
Harry breathed in deeply. "Draco…"
A strangled moan fell out of Harry as he collapsed onto cold stone. He gasped, lurching and sitting up. Malfoy Manor. He looked up at the double doors before him. Malfoy. He shot up to his feet, staggering as he did so. He pounded on the door.
Draco jolted awake as the charms were set off. He swore tiredly, flicking his wand to stop the alarms from waking up his mother. He got out of bed and stumbled through the dark mansion, trying to get to the door without any major spills. He was yawning as he opened the door, his jaw widening even further when he was met with Harry. "What the hell?" he exclaimed in disbelief.
"You," Harry said, pushing a finger against Draco's chest.
Draco was nearly speechless now. "Y– you– you– you're… Are you drunk, Potter?" he asked in horror. "You can't be here!"
"I can be wherever I want to be," Harry said with authority as his eyes slid in and out of focus.
"Go home," Draco insisted. "And don't Apparate."
"I'm not finished with you," Harry slurred. "You… I hate you, you know?"
"Fine, whatever," Draco murmured as his thoughts raced. How on Earth had Harry managed to get past the security? "Wait here, okay?"
"No," Harry snapped. "You can't– you can't or– order me around anymore, Malfoy," he said, folding his arms against his chest. "I'll order you around. You wait here."
"Quiet," Draco said emphatically. "Mother's sleeping."
Harry's brows went up. "Oh," he whispered. "Shh." He pressed a finger to his lips.
"Right. Shh," Draco mumbled. "How did you get in?" he asked. He needed to find a way to get him out. Harry shrugged in response. Draco tsked in frustration. "How did you get in, Potter?" he asked again.
"I don't know," Harry said, sighing. "Can I kiss you?"
Draco tripped over his feet as he moved back, away from Harry. "No, what? What? Why would you even… what?"
Harry pouted, scuffing his shoe on landing. "You let me kiss you before," he complained.
"Are you alright?" Draco asked out of worry.
"I'm having the weirdest dream," Harry responded. "Like, you won't believe how weird it is…"
Realization struck. Harry was sleepwalking. Draco pulled Harry into the foyer and shut the door. "Harry," he murmured, touching Harry's shoulder hesitantly.
"Hmm," Harry murmured, resting his head against Draco's chest. "Draco."
"You're dreaming," Draco whispered, winding his arms around Harry.
Harry nodded. "I know," he answered.
Draco frowned in confusion. "You do?" he asked.
Harry fiddled with Draco's shirt. "Mhm," he mumbled. "That's okay. It's always a dream."
Draco shook his head and said, "No, Harry. This is not a dream. But you– you're dreaming," he tried to explain.
"I don't really hate you, Draco," Harry said. "I really do like you. But not when you're punching me. Or mad at me."
Draco tried to extract himself from Harry's hug, which proved to be near impossible. "Harry."
"You're supposed to call me Potter," Harry quipped. "But I'll call you Draco…"
"Please, wake up," Draco said desperately.
Harry lifted his head to look at Draco. "I love you," he whispered, blushing. "And I don't even know why."
Draco's chest squeezed hopefully. Then his mind took over. Harry was drunk and asleep. The things he said weren't the most coherent. Draco knew that some part of Harry thought the love to be true. But, as Harry said himself, the reason for why was… unclear. Draco pushed Harry away from him. "You need to sleep this off," he said, trying to keep Harry's attention.
Harry nodded solemnly. "Sleep is good," he mumbled.
Draco sighed, glancing up at the stairs. "Let's go," he said tiredly, tugging Harry along. The two stumbled up the stairs, Draco trying to keep Harry steady and Harry trying to hold Draco's hand.
"Draco," Harry complained after another unsuccessful lunge. Draco rolled his eyes and pulled Harry into the guest bedroom beside the stairs. He shoved Harry into the bed and dragged the covers up. Harry murmured in contentment, curling up and grabbing Draco's hand. "Hah!" he said cheekily. "I got you."
Draco couldn't help but smile at Harry's mischievous smirk. "You do," he said patiently, wrenching his hand away from Harry's grip. "And now you sleep."
"Wait," Harry said, stopping Draco before he could leave.
"What now?" Draco asked out of frustration.
Harry's smile slipped away and he dropped his gaze to the sheets. "Nothing," he said quickly.
"What, Potter?" Draco asked again.
"Nothing," Harry repeated, closing his eyes.
"Harry."
Harry shook his head.
Draco threw his hands up in defeat before walking out of the room. "Sleep," he said before he shut the door.
Harry opened his eyes when he heard the click on the door. He picked at the pillow as his mind faltered. Too much. Too many things were happening. And all he wanted to do was sleep. But he was sleeping, wasn't he? Why was he feeling so dizzy then? He sat up and threw the blanket off of him. He was so restless. He needed to wake up. He shuffled to the door in the dark. He felt for his wand. He didn't have it on him. He frowned in self-reproach before fumbling for the door handle and opening it.
Draco was leaning against the wall facing the door, arms crossed against his chest, as he contemplated the situation. His brows rose when the door opened hesitantly. Draco saw a shock of black hair, then a pair of green eyes peeking out. When their gazes met, the door fell shut.
Harry winced when he realized the Draco was outside.
Draco was smiling in astonishment. He approached the door slowly.
Harry figured that if he thought hard enough, Draco would just disappear. He bunched his face into an expression of intense concentration and tried to will Draco away. Then he opened the door.
Draco saw a quicker flash of Harry this time.
Harry cursed his luck as he closed the door again. He wished he had his wand. Then all he would have to do is disarm Draco and… then what? Where was he supposed to go? He had already been everywhere he needed to be. He harrumphed, racking his brains to find a more suitable place to sleep. Home. Home would be a nice place to sleep. That's what he'd do. He opened the door wider.
Draco jerked Harry forward, fingers tangling into raven hair and the other hand pressing against Harry's back. Harry's head snapped back as his hair was tugged. Demanding lips pressed against his mouth.
Harry woke up.
He gasped and swayed. He pressed against Draco, hands skimming against his chest before landing against the tousled hair and stubbled cheek. Harry opened his eyes. Malfoy.
Draco was pushed back violently. He staggered away, winded. Harry had his hands pressed against his eyes, trying to ward off the pounding headache. Draco rushed to him, holding him steady. "Harry?" he murmured shakily.
"What are you doing?"
Draco wrapped his arms around Harry, even as the latter struggled fiercely. "You're at my house, okay?" he explained.
"What?" Harry croaked.
"I think you were… sleepwalking?"
Harry froze. "What?" he exhaled.
"Sleepwalking…"
Harry dropped his hands from his eyes, his terrified heart nearly beating out of his chest. He couldn't remember. "You kissed me," he whispered hurriedly. "Why would you do that?"
Draco flinched. "I– I just… you– you were…"
Harry started struggling again, pushing against Draco's firm grip. "Let go," Harry said weakly.
"Please, you need to–"
"You don't. You can't. You don't," Harry said angrily. "So just let me go. I want to go home."
"I'm sorry for hitting you."
"I'm not sorry," Harry growled, trying to shoulder Draco.
"But I am…"
In a flurry of movement, Harry rammed into Draco and knocked him back. Draco hit the bed and toppled over. Before he could put his arms up to defend himself, Harry was upon him. Hands pushed his shoulders to the mattress and a forceful kiss pressed into his lips. Harry breathed out loudly, groaning. Draco's eyes fell shut at this. Harry's kiss. It felt so different. It used to be tentative and innocent. But this… Draco's stomach tightened painfully. He heaved up and rolled over, clashing teeth with Harry. He pressed Harry into the bed. This was amazing.
Harry clawed at Draco's shirt, pulling him close. Draco tilted his head, kissing Harry possessively. He wasn't going to let anyone else have this man. Harry melted under Draco's tongue. Hands raced down Draco's back and kneaded his arse through the thin pajamas. Draco nearly broke away from Harry as shock caused him to still. Harry shook his head stubbornly, using his free hand to grab the back of Draco's neck so their lips were mashed together again. Their breaths ran together, harsh and competing. Draco reached down and tugged Harry's shirt up. Harry responded by sliding his fingers under the elastic of Draco's pajamas and boxers. Draco dropped his hands to tug at Harry's trousers, undoing the belt and zipper. Harry arched up, pushing the clothes off.
Draco gripped Harry's arousal without warning or embarrassment. Harry brought his hand to his mouth, stifling his aggressive snarls. He pumped into Draco's fist. Draco was on his knees, staring down at Harry's flushed cheeks and glistening skin that was slick with sweat. "Stop, stop, stop," Harry gasped, grabbing Draco's wrist. Draco bent down and bit Harry's neck. Harry cried out, letting go of Draco's hand.
Draco felt Harry's erection pulsing and heating in his palm. "Harry," he whispered. Harry let out a choked murmur, lips parted and eyes fluttering open and shut. Draco pumped Harry, turning his fist around Harry's cock so he could hear the delicious moans over and over again. He brought his mouth to Harry's ear. "You look amazing right now," he whispered.
Harry grabbed Draco's shirt and whipped him around. Draco fell on the mattress again. He couldn't keep up with Harry. This was the Potter he knew six years ago – unyielding, strong, and assertive. Harry shoved down Draco's pajamas. Even through the boxers, Draco could feel Harry's rutting as though skin on skin. He dug his fingers into the covers, moving his hips up to meet Harry. They drove into each other as their tongues tangled. "Draco, Draco, Draco, I– I'm– shit…" Harry panted, whimpering. Draco pressed his hand against Harry's erection, stopping him. Harry dropped his head against the crook of Draco's neck, dragging in air as his lungs burned. "Oh, fuck," he said, his voice trembling. "Why are you still wearing a shirt?"
Draco laughed and sat up, bringing Harry up with him. Harry wrapped his legs around Draco's waist as Draco took off his shirt. "Better?" Draco asked, brushing his thumb against Harry's cheek.
Harry leaned in, kissing Draco softly. "What are we doing?" he asked.
Draco didn't know. He pressed his forehead against Harry's. "Hmm…"
Harry snaked his hand against Draco's boxers again. Draco groaned, "Potter…"
"What?"
"What are you doing?" he asked.
Harry kissed Draco along the neck as he massaged the half-hard cock. "I don't know," he whispered. "I don't know. I've never…"
Draco blinked over Harry's shoulder. He moved his hand to Harry's chest. He felt the shuddering heart running faster than ever. "Harry?"
"I want you."
"Want me how?" Draco asked.
Harry squirmed. Even if his judgment was impaired with alcohol, he couldn't bring himself to talk that way. "I mean, I– I want you. I– I just… now?"
"Oh, shut up," Draco interrupted, falling onto the bed with Harry. Their lips found each other, hot and hard. Draco struggled out of his boxers, too constrained. He flicked it off his feet and slid his leg between Harry's, parting them. Harry let out a surprised gasp, letting go of Draco. Kisses scattered down his torso, nearing his aching arousal. He latched onto Draco's hair, torn between guiding him and stopping him. "When you said you've never," Draco breathed, after a tantalizing lick of Harry's cock, "did you mean… never?"
"Draco," Harry moaned, the question reaching deaf ears.
Draco smirked as he kissed Harry's thighs. Harry moved his legs unconsciously, bending them at the knee. Draco swirled his tongue along the tip of the leaking cock. Harry bucked as his oversensitive body shot a pang of electric pain through his spine. He held in a choked cry. Draco pursed his lips and gently sucked on the tip, savoring Harry's shudders and loss of control. He slowly worked his way down, his spit running down the hot erection. Harry could feel it. He could feel too much. Why would Draco do this? He suddenly realized that his fingers were still entwined in Draco's hair. He pulled his hands up sharply. Draco jerked away from Harry, wincing. "What?" he asked, trying to get Harry to loosen his grip.
"Isn't that… gross?" Harry asked, taking pity on Draco's tortured expression and letting go of the locks of golden hair.
Draco's eyes narrowed. "A blow job?" he asked.
Harry balked. "Don't– don't say it like that," he said, his voice hushed.
"You're such a prude!" Draco exclaimed, laughing. He wrapped his fingers around Harry's wrists and fastened them to the bed. "Yeah, it's gross." His mouth descended on Harry again, none too gently. Harry bit his lip and thrust up. Draco gagged as the uncontrolled movement choked him. Harry whimpered as he shook his head. Draco breathed out as he made a tight seal around most of Harry's cock.
"Please," Harry begged.
Now Draco shook his head, pumping his head up and down. Harry felt everything inside him constricting. He thrust up to meet Draco's motion. Draco gagged and coughed. He used his elbows to keep Harry pressed against the bed by the hips. Harry snarled in frustration. Draco swallowed hard, salivating constantly. Harry was driven near insanity from the fleshy wetness that surrounded him. He wanted more. He needed more.
"F– f– fuck me."
Draco stilled as he heard the stammered words fall out of Harry's mouth. He picked his head up, mindful of the spit stringing from Harry's near-painful erection to his lips. He wiped it away with the back of his hand. "Um… what?" he asked uncertainly.
Harry felt a cold draft brushing against him and he arched up, looking for warmth and steady pressure. "Please, just– fuck me," he pleaded.
Draco blinked at Harry for a second before snorting in amusement. He let go of Harry's wrists, dragging his fingers towards the trim stomach. Harry opened his eyes at this. Draco saw the insecurity and terror in them, which only made him laugh harder. To see this in Potter was new. To see submission in Potter's eyes was exhilarating. He kept a hand pressed on Harry's chest as he leaned to the end of the bed to sift through his clothes, chuckling.
Harry couldn't move. Not with the humiliation coursing through him. Not with Draco laughing at him. Why had he said that? Why the fuck had he said that? He felt the crash of emotions taking a toll on him as his eyes pricked. He turned his head to the side, willing himself not to cry. Definitely not in front of Malfoy.
Tickling breath hit his neck, causing him to flinch. He tried to move away but Draco's weight held him steady. He felt nauseated, his hands shaking as he balled them into fists.
"Let's leave that for later."
Harry whipped his head towards Draco, mouth agape and eyes wide. "Wh– wh– what?" he asked.
"You don't really want me to do that, do you?" Draco asked, touching the wand to his hand and slicking it with lubricant. He wrapped his cold fingers against Harry's agonizing hard-on. Harry's eyes rolled to the back of his head and he let out a loud incoherent garble, words stuck in his throat. Draco drew his hand up until he reached the tip. The he slid his hand down smoothly, caressing Harry. "So, let's leave that for later, okay?"
"I need…"
"What?" Draco asked.
"I don't know. I don't know," Harry whispered heavily, shaking his head. "Just… I need to…"
"Harry," Draco interrupted, quickening his pace. Harry was jerking back and forth with Draco, trying to keep from babbling nonsense. "Harry, look at me."
Harry opened his eyes, staring at Draco. Draco's slight smile and striking grey eyes were all Harry looked up. "Huh," he breathed, moving closer to finishing. "Ah… D– D– Dra– Draco," he panted.
"We have all the time in the world," Draco murmured, kissing Harry. "And you can take all the time in the world."
Harry stiffened, spilling into Draco's hand and stomach. He reached up and latched onto Draco's shoulders, pumping into the fist that wrapped around his shooting arousal. "Please, please, Draco… Oh, fuck! Please, just–"
"What, Harry?" Draco asked, taken aback by Harry's loss of control. Legs wrapped around his waist and he dragged Draco down, rutting against him. "You aren't saying anything," Draco said, hoping to cut through the thick haze Harry was in.
Harry tried to keep his angered growl of frustration away from Draco. He didn't know what. He didn't know what he wanted. He thought this was what he wanted. His sex-starved brain was telling him that he was in heaven. Everything inside him was heating up to the point of near agony. Not like this. He didn't want to do this.
"I love you…" Draco whispered adoringly.
Harry fell limp, finally able to breathe again.
Draco smiled, tracing Harry's parted lips with his finger. "Is that all you wanted to hear?" he asked. "I thought you knew…"
Harry pulled Draco into a desperate hug. "Draco," he choked out.
Draco shook his head and broke out of Harry's arms, trying to untangle the blankets. Once he figured out the sheets, he pulled it over them and settled down next to Harry. "If I'd known it would only take some alcohol, I–" he broke off when he found himself facing a rather teary Harry. "Um…"
Harry hid his face against Draco's chest, unable to stop the tears.
Draco wrapped uncertain arms around Harry, blinking at the wall. Then he looked down at Harry, who was trembling with each sob. "Whoa," he exclaimed, pushing Harry away. "Why the hell are you crying?" he asked.
Harry didn't answer, covering his tears with his hands.
"Oh, Harry," Draco laughed, tugging the slight man close again. "Why the fuck would you cry?" he asked, running soothing hands over Harry's back. "It wasn't that bad, was it?"
"Shut up," Harry hiccupped.
Draco bunched Harry into a tight bundle, pressing soft kisses against the sweaty hair. "You're so confusing," Draco grinned. "Don't cry, okay?"
"I'm not five," Harry sobbed. "Stop laughing at me."
Try as he might, Draco couldn't stop. So he just clenched his jaw, shaking with mirth instead of voicing it. "I want to keep you forever," he murmured.
"Even if I don't love you?" Harry asked, squeezing his eyes shut so hard that his head hurt. He expected Draco to push him away.
Instead, Draco laughed. Again. "Even if you don't love me," Draco smiled. "I'll just have to make you love me, won't I?"
Harry couldn't handle all these emotions. It was too overwhelming. Sleep was his only other option. His tears still flowed, but he wasn't shuddering as violently now. "I do love you, Draco," he murmured, as though it was a secret Draco had to guard with his life. "You're so good to me…" He dropped into his dreams, safe in Draco's arms.
Draco sighed in content, winding his fingers with Harry's. "I love you," he said, closing his eyes.