A/N: When it says '3', it's supposed to be less than 3, you know, the heart, but it doesn't work in ffnet. there may also be formatting issues.
Disclaimer: Are you serious.
Act 1 Scene 2
Capulet wrote on Paris's wall: Montague and me, we're tight now. As long as Romeo doesn't kill Tybalt…LOLOL, that'll never happen.
Comments…view all
Paris: Sorry, I couldn't hear you over the sound of ME NOT CARING. So, what do you say to my sick plan?
Capulet: You know, it wouldn't hurt to read what I typed up! Smarmy bastard! Anyways, since you're being such a jackass, you're gonna wait 2 more summers before I'll let you marry Juliet!
Paris: But younger girls got married before Juliet! At this rate, she'll be a 16 year old virgin!
Capulet: She's my only daughter! Momma Earth ate up my other kids because I chopped down a tree. Whattabitch. I'll only let you marry her if she likes you back. You know what, I'm hosting a party tonight, why don't you come and man-whore the other sexy ladies out there instead of hitting my girl, eh? That's a fine lad now! Servant! Find these peeps and invite to my party…get ready for a CRAZY night! W0000000T!
Paris created the group Totally in love with the beautiful Juliet Capulet
Capulet created the event Capulet House Party! Let's raise the roof! BOO YAH!
Capulet gave Servant an invitation to the Capulet House Party
Servant Sjklft! I cakdnt reeasdf! (from mobile)
Helen Keller likes this
Servant joined the group Please stop making fun of illiterate people. We're human too!
Benvolio wrote on Romeo's wall: Come on, man! It'll all be fine! The sun will come out, tomorrow, bet your bottom dollars, that tomorrow, there'll be sun! Not happy enough for ya? Sunshine, lollipops and rainbows, everything that wonderful…
Comments…view all
Romeo: Is that the best you can do to cheer me up?
Benvolio: Sunshine harmony, man! 3
Romeo: You fail at life.
Benvolio: No need to get all shirty with me, bro! 3
Romeo: I'm locked up in the prison of my heart with a straight jacket because I lack the love of my life. I just realised how stupid I sound.
Servant: Cansdfs youes reeasdf?
Romeo: WTF? What language are you speaking?
Servant: Youes cakdnt reeasdf eithasrdfs! Toodles.
Romeo: Oh! I geddit! I can read, give it here! LOL what an idiot, this made my day!
Romeo became a fan of Making fun of illiterate people
Benvolio and Mercutio like this
Servant gave Romeo a sheet of paper
Romeo wrote on Servant's wall: It's a party invite for…oh shit, so many people, and my cell can only accept 160 characters. I'll just read it to you verbally. Plus, I doubt you can read this :P YOU SUCK.
Romeo gave Servant a Playing with Phonics for Beginners set
Servant has found a vowel in his Consonant Farm to share it with his friends.
Servant wrote on Romeo's wall: Thx 4 da presseisee. U invetied 2 ower howse.
Benvolio and Mercutio like this.
Comments…view all
Romeo: Glad you can sort of type now…whose house?
Servant: Me messa's…Caplet.
Romeo: oh?
Servant: U cn comb 1ny if u nt a duhmb MontaiQ. Dey R dewshebaigs. Toodles!
Servant wrote on Please stop making fun of illiterate people. We're human too!'s wall: LOLOLOOLLSDOASOALL! I cn raite n reed nao! U guyzz suxxx N r rlly stoopide!
Servant left the group Please stop making fun of illiterate people. We're human too!
Servant joined the group I'm only slightly illiterate, but now I can make myself feel better by picking on less literate people!
Benvolio is gonna crash at the Capulet pad tonight with Romeo and Mercutio! Far out! 3 (from mobile)
Mercutio and Tybalt like this.
Comments…view all
Tybalt: I'M GONNA KICK YOUR FUCKING SORRY ASSES TO AZKERBAJIN!111ONE!111
Benvolio: Someone didn't take their meds this morning :P 3
Mercutio: LOL PHAIL TYBALT!
Benvolio: BTW, Rosaline's gonna be there, remember, spread the love! 3
Romeo: Seriously? You're so…unorthodox! Be burnt you liars! No one will ever compare to Rosaline's beauty!
Benvolio: Duuude, you need more action, that's your problem! After tonight, you'll never need to fap alone anymore! 3
Romeo: I'd rather stay at home and fap alone =_=
Romeo added fapping alone at home because of unrequited love to his interests.
Capulet House Party! Let's raise the roof! BOO YAH!'s page: 29 Attending, 3 Maybe attending, 1 Awaiting Reply, 0 Not Attending, and 3 Gate-Crashing.
Act 1 Scene 3
Lady Capulet is wondering where the hell is Juliet.
Juliet likes this
Nurse wrote on Juliet's wall: Hey, girlfriend! Your mom was, like, 'Juliet, I need to see you!'
Juliet created the group Juliet's Private Chamber and invited 2 of her friends to join
Juliet wrote on Juliet's Private Chamber's wall: Mom, I'm gonna be at my blog, so come here.
Comments…view all
Lady Capulet: I have some important info…GTFO, Nurse.
Juliet: Fuck you, mom, the nurse is more of a mother to me than you.
Lady Capulet: Nvm, Nurse n-n You know my daughter is ripe to be married.
Nurse: 'Course, puuurty-lady! You're, like, almost fourteen! *SQUEE* Your b-day's totally on Llama Day! LOL.
Lady Capulet: Yes, we get the point.
Nurse: Awww, I remember my daughter Susan, she wuz, like, totally KEWT! If she was still alive today, they'd totally be BFFLs 3 There was, like, and earthquake, on Juliet's B-day. OMG, my memory is, like, totally awesum! LOL. I remember that time where she, like, fell on her head, and then my husband, was totally like, 'When you grow up, your gonna be falling on your back 'cos you'll be having SEX!'. And we were like, LULZ, that's awesum, rite? Rawr! You're such a beast, Juliet :P
Lady Capulet: STFU.
Nurse: Sure thing, missus, but like, I think this is, like, totally hilarious! She totally had this wicked bump on her forehead, and my BF was all 'LOL, you'll be falling on your back 'cos you'll be having SEX!' and we wuz all like, 'ROFL'.
Juliet: STFU.
Nurse: Oh fine, girly! You were, like, the sexiest baby I've evar seen, like, totally! I want to see you, like, find your prince charming ;)
Lady Capulet: That brings me to my point. Juliet, how do you feel about being married?
Juliet: That's for me to know and you to find out.
Lady Capulet: There's a bunch of other girls younger than you who are married and have kids. Anyways, Paris wants to marry you.
Juliet: They're fucking sluts.
Nurse: Oh puurrr-lease! Paris is like, the Brad Pitt of Veronians! He's like, so hot and beasty, it's like RAWR! He's bringing sexy back!
Lady Capulet: Sure…Paris is like a book, with all the knowledge and money and smarts, and you're like…the book cover, so everyone judges what's inside of you by your appearance! Plus, your social esteem will sky rocket :D
Nurse: And you'll be, like, all preggy, and we can like, go baby coth shopping! Wheee!
Lady Capulet: Just tell me if you can love Paris or not?
Juliet: That's for me to know and you to find out!
Servingman wrote on Juliet's Private Chamber's wall: Paris is here! Nurse, we need you to clean up the food. Just lick it off the floor like usual.
Comments…view all
Lady Capulet: Alright, let's go Juliet. Paris is waiting.
Nurse: You go girl! Have fun like the party animal you are! W00t!
Juliet became a fan of Giving your parents ambiguous answers to confuse them
Nurse likes this
Comments…view all
Nurse: LMFAO! You da best :D
Juliet is now attending Capulet House Party! Let's raise the roof! BOO YAH!
Act 1 Scene 4
Romeo is loitering aimlessly in front of Capulet's House with Benvolio and Mercutio (from mobile)
Torch-bearers, Benvolio, and Mercutio like this.
Comments…view all
Torch-bearers: YAY! Our only role in the play! We luv you!
Romeo: Sure thing…btw, shouldn't we make a speech to complement our hosts?
Benvolio: No way, man, don't be such a drag! We'll have a blast! 3
Romeo removed Grinding with his friends at an insane party from his Interests
Comments…view all
Mercutio: WHAT THE HELL? You must dance! You've got kick-ass breakdancing skillz!
Romeo: No…I'm too fat and heavy to dance…
Mercutio: O right, I forgot, you're morbidly obese. Then use Cupid's Wings!
Romeo: DUDE! I weight 984 pounds! Even Cupid's Wings would have trouble lifting me! I'll drown in feathers and my tears…
Mercutio: If you don't start dieting, you'll be a fucking burden on me. Literally.
Romeo: It's not my fault! I ate chocolates and fapped all Saturday, because of the stupid mother fucker named LOVE.
Mercutio: You've got to stand up to LOVE! Show him who's boss!
Benvolio: C'mon, we've got to go to the party…3
Romeo: I told you, I need a fucking torch to burn off all the Calories and Fat I ate while mopping.
Mercutio: OMG ROMEO. Why are you being such a stick in the mud? Let's go!
Romeo: I'm a human on the lawn…
Mercutio: FUCK YOU. We're going to be late!
Romeo joined the group I am a Seer – respect my wishes or you'll fucking DIE.
Romeo wrote on I am a Seer – respect my wishes or you'll fucking DIE's wall: So, I dreamt a dream last night…
Comments…view all
Mercutio: LOLOL SEXY DREAMS :P I had one too last night ;)
Romeo: Srsly? What was it about?
Mercutio: That you were gonna get laid tonight! (LOL THAT'LL NEVER HAPPEN)
Romeo: In bed! But srsly, dreamers do sometimes dream the truth…
Mercutio: OMG, you little perv, I see that Queen Mab has been w/ you. She's the fairy of wet dreams, the size of a Knut ;) She has grasshopper's wings and dresses made out of netting and a whip xDD She goes around to people's houses and gives them dreams for the night, like lover's dream of love, courtiers dream of petticoat-wearing ladies, lawyers dream of paying whores money, ladies dream of Leonardo diCaprio, and parson's dream of nunneries. The creepiest bit is, she lets soldiers dream of dead bodies and necrophilia…! Queen Mab is such a little slut who just wants to piss the shit out of everyone…that hag also teaches women how to go through labor and shit. That little –
Romeo: STFU.
Mercutio: Taking away my cell won't help that much :P
Benvolio: OMG, this is where you were. COME ON! They already finished supper, not that you need it, Fatty Romeo. 3
Romeo wrote on I am a Seer – respect my wishes or you'll fucking DIE's wall: Anyways, if there's any experts out there, I just want to say, I dreamed that I shouldn't go to this kick-ass party tonight, 'cos something will happen that start a series of unfortunate event, and then someone will die…
Sybill Trelawney likes this
Comments…view all
Sybill Trelawney: My dear! You've experienced clairvoyance! I shall check my Crystal Ball of Truth…OMG…you…you have…THE GRIM! AHHHH! Y-you'll d-die!
Hermione Granger: STFU YOU PIECE OF SHIT. Dx Don't worry Romeo, you'll live a long and happy life with you lover. Now go to that party and prove this phoney hag wrong!
Benvolio: Let's go, man! Listen to this clever lady-friend! 3