A/N: I'm glad you guys all like this 'story' and it made you laugh. Thanks for the reviews and story alerts and favoriting.

Also: briellinda it's alright, don't worry (I'm actually really honoured) If you want more modern Romeo and Juliet, I suggest you watch Baz Lurrmann's (sp?) version of R&J with Leonardo diCaprio as Romeo.

Act 1 Scene 5

Servingman Alpha wrote on Capulet House Party! Let's raise the roof! BOO YAH!'s wall: Yo, dudes, where the hell's Potpan? He's supposed to clean up the frigging dishes…

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Servingman Beta: He's being a douche and not helping…that manner less git.

Servingman Alpha: well, help me then! Take away the plates and shit.

Servingman Potpan: LOL, I luff mai nickname. Was up?

Servingman Alpha: you're wanted in the main hall, go there. Nao.

Servingman Potpan: I WAS JUST THERE YOU GIANT ASS FUCK.

Servingman Quatro: LOL, we'd better haul butt.

Capulet wrote on Capulet House Party! Let's raise the roof! BOO YAH!'s wall: Welcome everyone :D to my awesome party! If you have feet, then let us dance and drink till the sun rises again, and we have terrible hangovers and insomnia form lack of sleep. Let's give a hearty welcome to DJ BOB! Can I get a woot woot?

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DJ Bob: So how much is this gig?

Capulet: Anyway, let's get this party started. WHOOOT! I'm so awesome, and I'm hosting this kick ass party. OMG, I love this song, Justin Bieber is da bestest! What about you, Cousin Capulet?

Cousin Capulet: I'm not impressed. JB is a FAIL.

Capulet: Last time we partied, you were really letting loose on JB's One Time.

Cousin Capulet: Last time we partied, JB didn't even exist.

Capulet: You don't say so! Then what song was it? O_O

Romeo wrote on Servingman's wall: Yo, who's that girl with the really nice hands?

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Servingman: I'm blind. I have no clue who you're talking about.

Romeo: LOL you're missing out on soo much :P wait…how the hell can you type and read my messages?

Servingman: I lied. Go to hell.

Romeo: She's brighter than fire and the starts in the sky! Shinier than a jewel in some Ethopian's ear! I just want to take her beauty and wrap it up in a box, hide it from the world and dust it everyday. She's the dove that the murder of crows attacks for food. You know what, I'm going to walk over to her and hold her hand. I'm actually going to do it. Yo, you ready for this? I'm seriously gonna just stride across the room and hold her hand. I'm gonna do it! Forget Rosaline Schmosaline, this girl is the prettiest person I've ever seen (after me of course LOL)

Servingman: WTF are you still talking to me? Piss off.

Tybalt THINKS HE JUST SPOTTED THAT MOTHER FUCKER MONTAGUE TEXTING AT OUR FUCKING PARTY. THAT CHUBBY LITTLE FUCK NEEDS TO PUT AWAY HIS FUCKING PHONE AND STOP MAKING A FUCKERY OF THIS FUCKING PARTY. I'M GOING TO EAT HIM AND SHIT HIM OUT FOR SUPPER! (from mobile)

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Capulet: What the hell? Stop being such a CAPSLOCK HARRY :/

Tybalt: YO CAPULET, WHY YOU SUCH A FUCKING HYPOCRITE? THAT BOY IS A FUCKING MONTAGUE! LET'S KILL HIM, RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW! WHOOO!

Capulet: Romeo, innit?

Tybalt: YES THAT MONKEY FUCKING BASTARD!

Capulet: Take a few shots and calm down. Romeo's a fine boy. If you're going to kill him, please, don't do it now. I don't want to spend the whole night cleaning up blood. Let's turn that frown upside down!

Tybalt: FUCK THAT SHIT. I CAN'T FUCKING STAND HIM.

Capulet: You will fucking stand him. I am the master of this house, not you! I so do not need a rebellion at my party right now. And seriously, stop using ALL CAPS :[

Tybalt: FUCK YOU TO THE SEVENTH LAYER OF HELL.

Capulet: Ohkay, you little bastard, if you're going to kill him, you are going to lick EVERY FUCKING DROP OF BLOOD off my carpet, walls and furniture. Now, be a dear, and ENJOY MY FUCKING PARTY.

Tybalt: IF YOU ARE GOING TO FORCE ME TO NOT GIVE IN TO MY PSYCOPATHIC TENDENCIES, I WILL MAKE SURE THERE WILL BE BLOODSHED IN THE FUTURE!111ONE!

Tybalt became a fan of Murdering people I really hate and Unnecessary Caplocks and Swearing to his interests.

Romeo I'm actually going to do it! SQUEEE! (from mobile)

Romeo and Juliet are now friends

Romeo wrote on Juliet's wall: See that line on your hand? It's a river. The bunny is on the other side of the river and he can't cross it :3

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Juliet: Oookay, so how does the bunny cross the river?

Romeo: I don't know, I just wanted to hold your hand! X3

Juliet: Aww…you're priceless! It's okay, you can hold my hand :D

Romeo: So, did it hurt?

Juliet: Did what hurt?

Romeo: When you fell out of heaven!

Juliet: Well, I am a saint ;)

Romeo: I'm glad you're religious, 'cos you're the answers to all my prayers 2

Juliet: What are your prayers?

Romeo: Are you going to kiss me or do I have to lie to my diary?

Juliet: *blushes* Well…

Romeo gave Juliet a kiss.

Juliet likes this

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Juliet: Aren't saints not supposed to kiss?

Romeo: Who gives a shit? Let's do that again!

Romeo gave Juliet a 5 minute snogfest that involves an elevator

Juliet likes this

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Juliet: Did you read an instruction manual on how to kiss?

Romeo: Yeah, I did. It was in this Lily and James fic I read.

Nurse: OMG! Jules, ur mum wantz to have a girl to girl talk ;)

Romeo: Wait, who's her mother?

Nurse: Like, only the lady of this mansion! She's like, the daughter of the fairest of them all and she's totally loaded!

Romeo joined the group I used a bad pick-up line and survived

Romeo is royally fucked in his relationship choices (from mobile)

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Benvolio: Let's go, man, this party's dying…and Mercutio is so high…3 LOLOL how was Rosaline ;)

Juliet wrote on Nurse's wall: Who was that dude covered in feathers?

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Nurse: Tiberio's only son. Tiberio's so, like, screwed xD His son is a totez nerd

Juliet: What about that guy who's leaving?

Nurse: Petruchio, Pinocchio's widdle brother

Juliet: And that guy over there? His last name wasn't on his FB name…

Nurse: I dunno?

Juliet: You're so useless. Go ask his name =_= I'm gonna kill myself if I can't marry him!

Nurse wrote on Juliet's wall: LOLOLOL You'll haft a kill yourself 'cos he's, like, totally, a MONTAGUE! But he's a totez hottie :P

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Juliet: FML.

Nurse: Awww, poor baby!

Chorus why the hell were we not included at the beginning? HUH? WE'RE IMPORTANT, especially since we get to say 'fatal loins' and make some people giggle incessantly. *cough* Bastard. You know what? For your punishment, we're gonna spoil the fucking play for you. ROMEO DIES, JULIET DIES, PARIS DIES, TYBALT DIES, MERCUTIO DIES. HAHAHAHAHA! PWN'D. (from mobile)

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God: LOL, too bad you don't have anyone 'cept me on your friends list :P

Chorus: Go to hell, oh wait, you're already there! BUUUURRN.

God: Shaddup.