DISCLAIMER: I don't own SVU nor it's characters. The plot of this story is all mine.

A/N: Thank you for all the amazing reviews everyone! It adds fuel to the fire for me and I really appreciate it! I hope you enjoy Chapter 3!

He wanted to run after her. But he couldn't make his feet move; they felt like lead. His heart turned cold.

It was time to go home. He wondered if Kathy would smell the sex on him, wondered if she would know.

He drove mechanically out of the city and into Queens, pulling up in front of the home he shared with his wife and five children. He struggled to get out of the car and make his way up the front steps. He could feel how tired he was as he slipped the key into the door and turned. He threw his weight into the door and it opened easily.

Kathy didn't even look up from her book as he entered. "Hey," she called halfheartedly.

Elliot didn't answer. He simply made his way through his living room and up the stairs.

"Tough case today?" Kathy called after him.

He paused on the stairs. In truth, yes. Olivia was the case he had yet to crack; he couldn't get through to her, no matter how hard he tried.

"Just tired," he said and continued up the stairs to the shower. He stayed there, letting the water course over his body, washing away all evidence of Olivia. The water went cold and he turned it off, the handles squeaking as he did so.

His senses were alive, he felt and heard everything around him. The fibers of the towel, how soft they felt against him. The coolness of the bathroom tile beneath his feet. The smell of the simple soap he used. He had to get her scent out of his nose. He didn't want to smell bergamot, amber, mint. He couldn't take her surrounding him anymore. Not the way she had abandoned him like that.

But she was right. He did have a wife and children and a home. And had she stayed, he would have had to leave her eventually, come back to them. But he couldn't erase what had happened any more than he could fix what was broken in Olivia. He didn't know what to do.

He exited the bathroom and found Kathy in bed, asleep. He couldn't bear the thought of crawling in next to her. Not because he felt guilty, but because she wasn't Olivia. It wasn't right without Olivia. He made his way downstairs to the couch and flipped on the television. He watched horrible late-night talk shows and old re-runs of The Honeymooners and eventually drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

He woke to his cell phone ringing. "Stabler," he answered. The exhaustion in his voice was so evident; sleep had done nothing to erase the tiredness he felt.

"Elliot." It was the Captain's voice.

"Cap."

"Get in here right now. We have a problem."

Elliot sat bolt upright. "What is it?"

"It's Olivia."

His heart began to race. "What about Olivia?"

"She's gone."

Elliot couldn't breathe. Seconds seemed like hours, days. His blood slowed, moved like sludge through his veins. His chest felt tight. The muscles in his arms tensed so hard it felt like they would burst right through his skin.

"I'm coming."

And he was out the door.

Olivia sat stoically in the back of the cab as it drove her to the airport. She had determined that if she let herself feel even a little bit, she would have to feel everything. And she couldn't do that. Not now. Maybe not ever. So numbness was her only option.

She knew she was a coward. She just couldn't face him. She couldn't bear looking into those blue eyes, knowing that they saw all of her. Elliot was more than just a one night stand, he was more than just sex.

She'd loved him almost from the moment she saw him and she knew he was off limits to her. At the beginning, she'd allowed herself to get close to him, but not too close. She appreciated him as a partner, the way he looked out for her like she looked out for him.

But then… Gitano. Everything changed after that. They'd both been faced with each other's deaths and they both realized they couldn't take it. Olivia ran after that.

Just like she was running now.

She'd gotten home last night to her dark, empty, too-quiet apartment. And after standing in her kitchen for a moment, pouring herself a glass of wine and imagining walking into the precinct tomorrow morning, she realized that she couldn't do it.

So she'd made the call that set the course of her life.

Chicago sex crimes was looking for a new detective. She had to leave Manhattan, she had to leave him. She'd packed what she could and canceled all her utilities. Maybe she'd rent out her apartment for a little extra cash, but for now, she'd just vacate. She'd vacate her life as best she could.

She'd been up most of the night looking for a place to rent in Chicago and booked a ticket on a one-way flight. Before she knew it, the sun was up and it was almost time to go.

But she had to tell the Captain first. So she did what cowards do. She wrote him a letter. She'd gone to the precinct in the early hours of the morning, her suitcase trailing behind her, and slid the envelope under his door. Then she'd left before anyone had a chance to see her.

Now here she was. Realizing the full weight of her decisions. Feeling sick to her stomach and missing Elliot and Calvin more than she could bear. She was truly all alone.

And it was all her fault.

"What do you mean, she's gone?" Elliot burst into the Captain's office without knocking for the first time in his career.

"I mean she's gone, Elliot," Captain Cragen said calmly, holding a piece of paper out to him.

Elliot stared at it for a moment. There was no way she'd do this, just slink off in the middle of the night leaving nothing behind her but a note and a memory that Elliot would treasure as long as he lived. He took the paper from Cragen's hand and began to read.

Dear Cap,

I'm sorry to do this to you, but I need to leave the city. Please understand, I can't tell you where I'm going or why. Just know that I'm not in any danger or trouble. I know I'm leaving you a detective short, but it can't be helped. I need to be responsible for my own decisions and for my own life. You have to know that I will miss you and everyone in Manhattan SVU. There's no place like home.

Please tell Elliot I'm sorry.

Liv

That was it. She mentioned him once. Please tell Elliot I'm sorry. Damn you and your apologies, Olivia. This was unacceptable.

Elliot immediately went into cop mode. Olivia built walls, while Elliot hid behind his job. It was his only defense. "She had to leave a trail behind her. I'm going to track her credit card, see if she made any purchases with it. Airline tickets, gasoline, whatever. I'm going to find her."

"Elliot," the Captain's voice stopped him as he walked out the door. "She doesn't want to be found."

"But Cap, I can't just…"

"You need to let her go."

Elliot's stomach hit the floor. Let her go? How could he let her go? She was the only thing that grounded him to this Earth. She was the only thing that kept him going day after day. He didn't know how to be without her. The emptiness consumed him. It was so much worse than when Kathy had left him. This was utter devastation, like the aftermath of a tornado; he was quiet and calm and completely destroyed.

He made the slow walk back to his desk. He couldn't take this. Her chair was empty, her desk lamp was off. She would never sit there again. He walked around and took the picture off her desk. It was a picture of her and her mother. He wanted to throw it, to hear the glass break against the floor. As if it would hurt her, just like she had hurt him.

Instead he took it and placed it gently in his desk drawer, staring at it for a moment. He didn't want to let her go. He didn't want her out of his life. Last night was a turning point for him and he couldn't believe she'd abandon him this way.

He closed his eyes and sighed. There was no way in hell he was going to get any work done today. Silently, he slid the desk drawer shut.