DISCLAIMER: Characters aren't mine. Just the story.
A/N: So sorry for the delay in posting the next installment. It's amazing how life... it all happens at one freaking time. :) I hope you enjoy Chapter 13!
All Olivia could feel was pain. Her belly twisted and pulled. In moments of lucidity, her cop instinct kicked it. She knew she was losing blood… a lot of it. But she lacked the strength and clarity to stop it. No sooner did she identify what was happening then she slipped back into a state of unconsciousness. The faces above her were blurry, the lights were bright, the smell was sterile, clean. She felt pressure in her lower abdomen and it was uncomfortable. She wanted it to stop.
She felt herself slipping away again. It was agonizing.
Suddenly, things were very clear to her. Her child. Her child was in danger. She always knew her maternal instinct would be strong, but she had no idea it would be strong enough to bring her back to consciousness when everything that was happening to her physically should have prevented her from doing so.
"My baby," she said strongly, opening her eyes and reaching out. Her hand found the arm of someone, a doctor or a nurse who was obviously caught by surprise. "Please…" Olivia whispered harshly.
"We're doing everything we can." It was a woman's voice. She squeezed Olivia's hand just once and kept moving. Olivia looked up, stared into the bright lights, trying to make something hurt worse than the pain that was surging through her belly.
She thought of Elliot. She always thought of Elliot. He would want her to focus, to be brave. He saw the strength in her even when she couldn't see it in herself. She wondered where he was and wished he was with her.
Elliot sat in the hallway of the hospital room, his head in his hands, his elbows on his knees. He didn't have the strength or the desire to sit up straight and the only time he looked up was when someone came through those doors… those horrible doors that separated him from Olivia, from all the pain he was sure she was going through.
Elliot was a doer, a problem-solver. It wasn't in his nature to sit still and wait for things to happen; he needed to be moving, he needed to make things right. It was a personality trait he knew Olivia sometimes despised. His lack of patience, his need to fix things. But she was the same way sometimes, this he knew. He thought it was one of the reasons she became a cop… she couldn't fix her own life so she devoted herself to trying to fix others' lives. So when she was confronted with a woman who'd been beaten and raped, a child who'd been molested, a home that had been broken, her compassion and her desire to make it right overtook her and she became the woman she was supposed to be.
But Elliot saw her as that woman all the time. He'd just never told her.
Oh God, the things he would tell her if he could… about how he'd wasted so many years trying to make it work with Kathy when his desire for a life with Olivia coursed through his veins like hot oil; about how he found her ability to beat a perp senseless was a turn-on to him; about how her ability to keep herself from beating a perp senseless was an even bigger turn-on; about how she was the best damn cop he knew… and the best person. He would tell her he was lucky to have her as a partner and as a friend. He would tell her he was sorry for all the times he was awful to her and how, those times when he was at his worst, he'd only wished they could hold each other. He would tell her that he loved her.
But Olivia wasn't here now. Even if she was, Elliot didn't think he'd have the courage to tell her. He was such a coward sometimes.
Olivia was sweating. She wanted to ask someone to turn the heat down. Or at least give her a towel. Her head lolled to the left and she opened her mouth to say the words when someone else spoke.
"Doctor, I think we're going to have to deliver. I can't stop the bleeding. It's our best chance to save her."
The words turned her to ice. She felt clammy, cold… scared.
Deliver? They couldn't deliver. She wasn't far enough along yet. Her baby… her baby… her baby…
"Someone should go tell the father."
Elliot… oh Elliot… Elliot…
"Mr. Stabler?"
The voice shocked Elliot back to reality. The one time the doors had opened and he hadn't looked up…
"Yes?" he shot out of his seat faster than he would have thought possible.
"Mr. Stabler, we've had to deliver your child."
Elliot thought he was going to be sick.
"We've delivered him via cesarean section and we're going to transfer him up to NICU now."
"Him? It's a boy?" Elliot looked at the doctor with tears in his eyes.
"Yes, sir," the doctor smiled sadly. "It's a boy. He is premature and not fully developed. He'll have long stays in the NICU, but we're optimistic."
Elliot breathed a small sigh of relief. "A-and… Olivia?"
The doctor paused. "We're trying to stop the bleeding now." Elliot got the feeling he was being intentionally reticent.
"What does that mean? Is she going to survive this?" Elliot started to feel the panic rise. He just got her… he couldn't lose her now.
The doctor put a hand on Elliot's shoulder. "We're doing everything we can."
"Oh God…" Elliot's knees began to wobble and some instinct took over, guiding him to a nearby chair before he crashed to the ground. "Oh God…"
"Do you want to see your son?" the doctor asked him quietly.
"My son…" Elliot whispered. "No… no, not yet. I need to be close to her."
The doctor nodded just once and turned to go back down the hallway.
"Hey Doc," Elliot called. The doctor turned and looked at him wordlessly. "She… she… she's my…"
"I know, son," the doctor nodded solemnly. "I know." Then he was gone.
Elliot made his way down the hallway, slowly. He didn't think he could see her like this. He wasn't sure he could take it.
Their one night together had put her here. She'd endured the long road by herself and now she was…
He paused at the doorway and took a breath. He wiped the tears from his cheeks and turned the corner into the room.
She was so pale, so frail, so fragile. She was covered in a thin, white sheet and Elliot's first thought was She must be so cold.
He crossed the room toward where she lay and took her soft hand. He leaned down and kissed her forehead so gently, as if he was afraid to wake her.
"Olivia," Elliot said her name. This time, it was a prayer.
He stayed by her side, the heart monitor beeped softly behind him.
She didn't know how she knew he was there. It was as if she could just sense his presence. She always thought they'd had a sixth sense when it came to each other… now she knew she was right.
She felt his hand in hers, his lips on her skin, she heard his voice, his soft voice. He sounded on the edge of tears. Olivia wanted so badly to tell him she wasn't far away. She had to muster the strength. But she was afraid she'd used it all up. She was just so tired, she wanted to sleep forever.
"Olivia," he said again. The distance between her and the sound of his voice was so vast, as if they were separated by entire continents and talking through a tin can phone.
"We have a son," she heard him say. "I… I haven't seen him yet. They say he's healthy, but underdeveloped. But still, the doctor's are confident about his chances." Olivia heard Elliot pause and felt him squeeze her hand gently. "He… he needs you, Olivia. We both do. So come back, okay? Come back to us, come back to your family."
Her family. That was all she needed. She found the strength she was looking for.
"El…"
The faint whisper of his name caught his attention in a heartbeat.
"Liv?" He couldn't help the tears that overwhelmed him and spilled down his cheeks. "Olivia." He touched her hair, her face, as if he was afraid she wasn't real.
"Elliot." She was weak but somehow, she lifted her hand and touched his face. She smiled.
"Olivia." He pressed her hand to his face, feeling her palm against his cheek. He turned and kissed that palm, that beautiful hand. "Olivia."
She smiled at him and he thought that he'd better say something besides her name or she'd think he was a jackass.
He said the only thing he could come up with. The only thing that mattered.
"I love you."