Chapter 3

You Can Go, You Can Stay

I slowly walk into Jacob's den. I know he has plans for the day and won't even know that I'll be gone, but I'll have to tell him eventually. "Hey, baby." I smile and wrap my arms around him as I take in the soft scent of him.

"Hey." He returns my smile and gives me a light kiss.

"Have fun today."

"Yeah, you too." He nods, looking at his reflection.

"Actually, I will. I have plans to meet an old friend for lunch."

He turns to me sharply and gives me a jaded look. "It's not Rose, is it?"

"No." I shake my head and laugh. "How am I ever going to get my best friend and my fiance to like each other?" It should be something that is so simple.

"Ok. Well have fun then." It really couldn't have been that easy. He doesn't want to know who. Or why. Or anything. Not that I'm complaining or anything. That's cool. "Old friend from school?" Damn. Spoke too soon.

"No. Not exactly." I sit down in his chair and watch him mess with his hair. He takes more time to mess with his than I do. And the end result is his looks the same as it does right after he wakes up.

"Well, what exactly is it?" he teases. "I have to keep an eye on you."

"Just an old friend."

"Not an old boyfriend?" He raises an eyebrow. I try to not look guilty. But I don't think it worked. Technically he never was a boyfriend. "Uh-oh." He smirks and lowers himself to me, teasing me.

I roll my eyes and push him away. "Not like that. He's in recovery. Alcoholic. Going through the twelve steps, or however many there are. He's at whatever step is making amends." It's not a total lie.

He raises his eyebrow again. "What kind of amends does he have to make with my girl? Am I going to have to hurt him?"

"No." I laugh. "I don't know what he thinks he has to make amends for." I shrug. "Our relationship was so brief, I wouldn't really consider it much of anything. But I'm not going to mess with the recovery process. If he thinks he has to do it, I guess I'm willing to help."

"That depends on what kind of help he wants." Jacob continues to harass me.

"I think I can handle sandwiches and small talk, but I'll be sure to call you if it gets out of hand." I roll my eyes and walk out.

XXXXX

I sit across the table from Edward, tapping my fingernails on the table. He so desperately wanted to spend time with you for whatever the reason may be, but right now he is mute. I rest my head in my hand and stare at him impatiently. And finally I can't take it anymore. "If were just going to sit here, I have other things I'd rather be doing."

"No." He shakes his head. "It's just…where do you start?"

"I don't know. You wanted to do this."

"Right." He nods. I am really getting annoyed with him.

"Just start somewhere, or I'm walking out." I plead with him. I am really trying to be nice, though I really don't know why. "Like, why are we here? Why are you here?"

He shrugged. "It felt right." He looks up into my eyes. "I've just been thinking about you."

"I think about a lot of things and I don't impulsively go and do them. There are plenty of people that I think are very attractive and would be very good in bed but I'm not flying all over the country trying to find these people and have sex with them."

He furrows his brow. "I'm not trying to have sex with you."

"Well, you tried the other night." I remind him.

He shook his head. "That wasn't my intention." He paused. "I didn't mean to be rude like that. But our history is all about sex, so seeing you again just kind of reminded me of that."

"I hope that it doesn't continue." I hold up my hand and remind him of my ring.

"No, I got that out of my system. I'm ready to move on."

"Wonderful!" I smile. "So we're done then."

"You still have the same quirks." He shakes his head.

"Some things I just can't change." I shrug. "But seriously, let's get to the point. I gave you a week, but I would love to get this over with quickly."

Edward laughs at me. "No chance."

"Why? What are we even doing?" I laugh. "Sipping coffee, pretending like we give a shit?"

"I give a shit," he insists.

"Good for you. What do you give a shit about? You won't even let me know. I'm just here and we're just shooting the shit and I don't even get why."

"I told you why. It feels right."

I roll my eyes. "Going home and taking a nap sounds right to me, can I do that?"

"Drop the sarcasm, please."

"I don't want to." I smile. "I've always been this way. You should remember that."

"Yeah. Hard to forget that."

There was another long pause between us. "Seriously, if you don't start talking. I am leaving. I don't give a shit. Tell all my dirty little secrets. But I am not going to sit here and pretend like I'm having fun just to appease you."

"I don't expect you to." He shrugged. "I just want to see if we could be friends."

"We can't. I don't want to be. I want you to go away. And I want to go home. I want to forget all about this."

"Do you really?" He questions, his eyes searching me. "The ring you have on is a little bigger than the one I gave you." He observed. "Do you still have it?"

I do. But I don't want to admit it. I don't want to give him any hope. I want him to leave so my life will return to normal. Because him in my life is not normal. Being near him is just reminding me of who I used to be. And what great fun it was. "I don't know." I shrug my shoulders trying to play nonchalant. "I guess it's got to be somewhere. I really haven't thought about it."

Edward smiles. I really big and stupid smile. "Why are you lying to me, Bella?"

"I'm not lying." I try to defend myself. "Why would I lie about a thing like that? I either have it or I don't. And what difference does it really make?"

"It makes a difference because maybe you're caring a little more than you let on." He shrugs. "Maybe you saved that ring to remind yourself."

"Of what?" I scoff. "Of how stupid I used to be?"

"Bella, come on. You're living with some guy. You know exactly where that ring is. It's either gone or hidden. Because I know you don't want him to know about us. That's not something you're not going to leave laying around for him to find."

"So?" I scoffed. "Maybe it's still in a box at my dad's. I don't know. I haven't seen it in years." This man just won't let go.

Edward groaned in frustration. "Stop lying! I'm not asking a lot from you. Can't you just-"

"No, I can not." I interrupt him. "I shouldn't have to do anything for you. We parted ways 5 years ago and I never asked for a trip down memory lane. I like where my life is now. I'm happy."

"You seemed happy then too."

"And at one point in time getting married to a complete stranger seemed like a good idea too. And we both know how that worked out."

"Please," he pleaded with me softly. "I don't think that this is too much to ask. At one point in time… I don't know. We both thought that being together was a good idea," he argued.

"And at one point in time millions of people had slaves. And at one point millions of people thought that all Jews should be round up and burned alive. I can keep going. Everyone makes mistakes. And we are supposed to learn from them."

"And we are. We're sipping coffee, not doing shots." He shrugs. "Just because we are still talking doesn't mean we're going to go out and make the same mistakes again." He pauses to take a sip of his coffee. "I just think that maybe there was more to be said between us."

"And why do you think that? I know you found religion or whatever and believe that all things happen for a reason. But if you really believe that, don't you think that maybe over the past 5 years something should have brought us together. I mean, more than you stalking me or whatever it is you are doing now. Like fate. The two of us somehow being in the same place at the same time or something." I finish and he shrugs. And he's got a smile o his face that I just want to smack off. "What?"

"Well, maybe we have and we just don't know it."

I laugh. "Sure, lets sit here for three years and talk about all the things we've been doing over the past five years and see if our schedules have matched up. Like that's even possible." I scoff. "And it's not like we are even close to being in the same group of friends." I shrug. "You're a movie star. I'm just your everyday average girl."

"Who just happens to be dating Mr. Superbowl MVP," he interjects.

I bit my lip and nod. "So you've heard. Is that how you were able to look me up?"

"No." He shakes his head. "I didn't know you were involved with anyone until you told me so. This might come as a shock to you, but I don't really follow football so much. Especially football players dating lives."

"So who told you?" I inquired.

"Even if I don't follow their personal lives, someone does because it's all over the internet."

"Of course it's all over the internet." I laugh. "We've been dating for almost four years now."

"It's not the dating that made headlines last night." He shrugs. "It was that very large diamond ring on your finger."

Great. I thought I had more time than that. "So that means nothing."

"No, it means we have the possibility of meeting over the past few years." He explains slowly. And I don't get it. "I'm a celebrity. He's a celebrity. I'm sure we've been in the same place at the same time."

I roll my eyes. "That's a stretch." I sip my coffee. "Jake's very low key. He doesn't do all the celebrity things. Plus, he's not a celebrity in the same way you are. He plays football. That is so different."

"Not that much. I see athletes at events all the time. Fundraisers. Award shows. They're all over the place."

"Yeah. Sure. The big ego sellout athletes that don't care about anything other than being famous. Jake doesn't do all that shit. He would rather sit at home in his sweats."

"Well…" Edward starts but I interrupt.

"You've got more of an ego than him!" I shout. "So don't even start that. He might be successful and popular but that does not make his ego large." I pause. "If he did would he really have proposed to me? He could have had anyone. Actress. Singer. Model. All the above. But he didn't. He chose me. He chose a simple girl, living a simple life."

Edward smiles at me. "You're far from simple."

"That's beside the point." I shake him off. "If his celebrity status meant so much to him then he wouldn't have chosen me."

Edward shrugs simply. "I did."

I smirk. Damn, this guy is persistent. "You weren't famous back then." I remind him. I am going to win this argument if it kills me.

"I am now."

I lower my coffee down hard, splashing some over the side. "Is that some kind of messed up proposal?"

"No." He laughs at me. "I'm just saying that you aren't what you're describing yourself to be. You're not simple. You're not ordinary. You're not plain. You are beautiful. You are smart. You are everything that a guys looks for in a girl."

"And how would you know?" I shout at him. "You keep forgetting that you don't even know me."

"I know enough about you," he insists.

"What is my last name? My favorite color? TV show? Anything? You don't know these things."

"I don't need to know those things." He shrugs. "Those little material things don't mean anything." I wait for him to explain. Because, honestly it sounds a lot like bullshit to me. "I know that you have a very fiery temper. I know that when you get mad at the opposite sex you either beat them up or have sex with them. I know that you are not a whore but you enjoy sex almost as much as a guy does. I know that you act though but on the inside you are an amazing woman with a big heart."

"The same is true for almost every girl in this room." I shrug. "You're not impressing me."

"Then give me a chance to get to know you."

"I am. I'm giving you a week."

"Then start cooperating."

"I am! What do you want from me? I really don't want to do this because I don't see the point. I hate to consider you an ex because really we were never that involved. But because that is what you seem to consider us, I will go with it. I don't talk to any of my ex's. Do you?"

"No."

"So then what the hell are you doing here? You break it off with someone and its over. Everyone moves on with their lives and don't look back. Or at least that's what I do. And I think that is pretty normal."

"Yes." He nods. "But we didn't start normal."

"And we aren't going to end very normal either if you keep it up," I threaten.

"We didn't even really start before we stopped. We never gave it a chance."

"I haven't given lots of guy's chances. You can't date everyone. You can't even date everyone that you know."

"But don't you feel like we should have. I mean, we were so close for those few days."

"No. We had sex for those few days. Its not like either one of us hasn't done that before."

"But it felt different."

"Because it wasn't a classic fuck and run? It was a very rare extended fuck and run."

"No. Like you said all things happen for a reason. We met that night. Fate brought us together and we chose not to listen. Then, last week I ran into your fiancé. We were both making an appearance for 'Make A Wish' and guess who I saw on his arm but you. Bella Swan. The most amazing girl I ever let slip through my fingers."

"And you think that's fate? The fate is, I'm with him. I am with someone else. That should have been a big hint."

"I didn't mean that we should go out and get married again. I just think that maybe we weren't done writing our story. Maybe we are supposed to be friends. Maybe you introduce me to someone. I don't know. Anything is possible."

"Sure anything is possible. It's possible that by meeting with you today it sets in motion the events of my death. That's what life is. A random string of events from birth to death. Random being the key word here. I see people everyday that doesn't mean I'm somehow connected to them."

He rolls his eyes. "Stop talking and let me finish. That morning I saw you, I got a package." He explains slowly. "I opened it up and it was some old luggage I had lost. I travel a lot and constantly lose shit so it could have been anything. But it was from my Vegas trip. How it had made its way there I don't know. In those five years I had moved three times and… I don't know. But I finally got it and right on top was our photo album. Then I go out that night and I see you. Don't you think that means something."

"Yes. It means you're reading too much into this." I laugh. "I ate waffles for breakfast this morning. And maybe that guy over there did too. Does that mean we're connected in some odd way?"

Edward sighs heavily. "Why do you have to argue everything?"

"Because that is what I do." I smile.

He reaches his had from across the table and grabs mine. "Can you feel that?"

"Of course I can feel your hands, stupid."

"No." He shakes his head and loops his fingers with mine. "The same electricity we had before."

I pause. My heart is racing and my stomach is in knots. "No." I shake my head. That is such a lie. Every time we touch, some kind of magic happens. My pulse quickens and my breathing becomes heavy. My stomach drops and my panties get moist. I have to leave before I do something stupid. "Edward, I have to go." I offer him a small smile. "Call me tomorrow if you need but understand that nothing is going to change. I'm taken and I'm happy."

"I can see that," he says, though I'm pretty sure he's lying.

"And I want it to stay that way." I remove my hand from his and exit the shop. I get to my car and look to the clock. I hope that Jacob doesn't have a late night. I need him to come home and satisfy me. I don't know how he did it, but Edward got me all worked up and I feel like I might hurt someone if I don't get laid.