A/N: Another chapter. Also, note that I don't know how much longer this will be. PLEASE, IF YOU HAVE ANY IDEAS, REVIEW OR PM ME!

Disclaimer: I don't usually do these, but... I don't own Criminal Minds, CBS, or the characters. Nina Tassler does. Kill her for getting rid of AJ and reducing Paget!

Reid looked up from Gideon and back to Hotch and Morgan. He didn't really want to explain, but his pleading eyes for the other two to explain didn't help. They looked from sympathetic, and soft eyes, to firm and demanding eyes. He looked back at Gideon. His eyes were kind, but at the same time, they were also demanding. Reid started to shiver, and Hotch and Morgan went back to their SUV.

"We'll be over here. You two can get in Reid's car." Reid sighed. Looks like he was going to be doing all the talking. He still didn't know how he was going to explain. Reid moved slowly, and even when he got in his car, he slowly turned the key and, and finally the heat. He didn't say anything as he twisted his fingers with each other.

"Spencer... you have to tell me what's going on for me to understand. Why were you crying on the phone? We can start there." He put an encouraging hand on Reid's shoulder, and he looked up, the tears clearly staining his face. Gideon wiped at them and brushed his hair back. "Please, just tell me." Reid nodded.

"I... I was scared." Gideon's expression didn't change.

"Scared of what?" He pressed. Reid started crying again, and this time, Gideon grabbed him tightly and hugged him. But shortly after, he pulled Reid away and looked at him in a demand. "I need you to tell me, Spencer."

"Well, my mom has been having problems, and it's been making me real depressed..." Reid wouldn't look Gideon in the eyes after that. Gideon put an arm around him.

"What is it... just straight to the point... what happened?" Gideon pressed. He didn't want to push too hard, but he needed to know. If it was bad enough that Reid had to call him and cry and beg for him to be there for him, it was obviously really bad.

Reid shook his head and the tears fell silently off his face. Gideon had never seen Reid cry this much before... not even when Tobias killed those people and made him watch. "N-Nevermind..." He said quietly.

"Spencer... look at me..." Reid kept his eyes fixed on his hands. "Look at me." Gideon said firmer. Reid did. "You were crying for me to come, I was worried, and now I'm here, so tell me, or I'll ask Hotch and Morgan." Reid rested his head in his hands. Gideon shaked him lightly. "Just tell me... what happened?"

"Well... I-I... I've been..." Reid fell into his thoughts and messed with his arms, Gideon noticed. In his years of profiling, he knew the signs. Depression, mood swings... on top of that, when the subconscious mind falls into slumber for thoughts, the brain would urge the person to fiddle with the physical part that was bothering him/her. Gideon grabbed his arms lightly, waking Reid from his thoughts. He tried to pull his arms back, but like all of his other attempts, it didn't help, because Gideon must've known he'd try. Reid looked away while Gideon rolled his sleeves up.

"Spencer... is this what you were trying to tell me?" Reid nodded, all the while not looking at his former colleague. "Look at me..." Reid did so but with reluctance. "This is not alright. You know that right?" Reid nodded and looked back down.

"Hotch was trying... he was trying so hard, but I couldn't... I wouldn't..." Reid corrected himself. "I wouldn't stop. I feel so guilty... he made sure I still had my job, he made sure I was alright... he even saved my life... and-and I let him down. I don't deserve for anybody to help me."

"Spencer!" Gideon said loudly, making Reid jump. "Everybody deserves help, no matter what. Nobody deserves to feel abandoned... I'm sorry that I did that to you... I will never do that again... I promise." Reid smiled slightly. Gideon looked back at Reid's arms and noticed the stitches. "What happened there?" Gideon asked. Reid looked away yet again.

"Hotch saved my life." Was his reply, and Gideon understood.

"Any plans from here?" Reid shook his head.

"I don't know what I'm going to do."

"Why don't I give you a first step." Reid looked back up. "You're going to stop doing this and look at the good things. Right now. What are some good things about your life?" Reid shrugged.

"I don't know..." Gideon slapped his thigh lightly.

"You do know." Reid nodded.

"I have a family that cares about me." Gideon nodded, encouraging him to go on. "That's all I have though... I don't really know." Gideon slapped Reid's thigh again, except this time it was harder. Reid got the message. "Oh, come on Gideon... really, right now? I can't think of anything." Gideon furrowed his brows and raised his hand. "Okay... well... I have a good job... can we just stop for now?"

"Okay, I guess that's enough for now." Gideon leaned over and hugged Reid tightly, to which Reid returned the hug. Reid was grateful for physical contact. Gideon always knew what to do, even if it was a little different. "Okay, let's get out of here. We should probably get you something to eat, then we'll head back to your apartment." Gideon said while getting out and walking toward the other vehicle and talking to the other men. Reid just sat their and sighed. He was glad that Gideon finally knew, and he'd be there for him, but he wasn't sure about recovering. When Gideon got in, he asked, "what do you want to eat?"

"I'm not hungry."

"Hotch said you haven't eaten since yesterday afternoon. You need to eat."

"I'm not hungry, Gideon... really." Gideon smacked him again harder. Reid sat back and closed his eyes.

"I don't really care."

"Look at me." Reid did so. "Anything I do to you is because I care about you... you know that?" Reid nodded. "You know that I'll always love you like a son?" Reid blushed but nodded. Nobody ever said that since his dad was still around and his parents weren't fighting. He missed those days.

On their way back to Reid's apartment, Gideon stopped to get fast food. And before they got back on the road, Gideon made Reid eat every bite. Reid fought with him on it too, earning many more smacks, but finally ate every bit of it. After that, Reid wouldn't look at Gideon and just glared out the window.

"You know being in a mood like that isn't really pleasant. It must feel bad to force yourself to act like that. Come on Spencer... smile." Gideon lightly elbowed Reid.

"Stop." Reid said not too nicely.

"Why are you so angry at me?"

"You forced me to eat. I wasn't hungry." Reid said angrily.

"Is that why you're being so moody? If I have to, I'll force feed you and maybe even call you Spencer Jr. If you keep acting like a child." Reid rolled his eyes and smirked.

"Sure."

"What, you don't believe I'll treat you like a child. Just note that I will if I have to."

"Okay... fine. But you won't have to." Reid said.

"Let's hope not." Gideon muttered under his breath. He doubted that would be the case, but he could only hope.

By the time they go back to Reid's apartment, he was asleep. Gideon didn't want to wake him up, because he could tell Reid would need a lot of sleep, but he knew he'd have to wake up to talk to him some more. He woke Reid up and told him to go inside while he talked to Hotch.

"He told me vague details, but I want him to tell me. I know he will in time. Can you go get something for me from the store?" Hotch nodded. "I need some temporary tattoos. Get some big ones... I'll tell you later." Hotch nodded and eyed Gideon suspiciously.

When Hotch left, Gideon went up to Reid's apartment and sat down quietly next to him. "We're not done talking. You haven't told me specifics. Reid rubbed his eyes.

"Well, my mom's been reacting badly to her new medications. It's the worse it's ever been. The doctors are worried she'll get so bad she'll never remember anybody... not even me, even when she is 'lucid'." Reid said quietly.

"What else?"

"The stress of the job. I don't know why, but I'm getting jumpy at everything, and I can't get the crime scenes out of my head all the time."

"And me leaving..." Gideon concluded. Reid shook his head.

"Don't blame yourself... it has nothing to do with you." Spencer said.

"Spencer..." Gideon said with a warning-like tone. "It was me too. I'm guilty for leaving you when you needed me most. It's my fault too."

"But..." Gideon gripped his shoulder tightly.

"No... it was me too. End of discussion on that topic." Reid nodded in defeat. "So how's the BAU holding up?"

"Same as always."

"You haven't gotten into any life threatening situations?" Gideon's tone was directed towards seriousness.

"No, not really." Gideon glanced at him sideways. "Well... um... there was a religion cult and Emily and I were sent undercover to check it out, and we both ended up nearly dead in an explosion. And then there was... um... oh nevermind."

"Spencer. I know that look. What did you do." Reid blushed.

"I got into a little trouble with Hotch. I blocked the teams fire so they wouldn't shoot a kid unsub..." Gideon looked at him to go on. "Well, I didn't really have a vest on... so I guess that's what set him off. And there was one time when Hotch and I interviewed the prisoner Chester..." Gideon nodded. He remembered Chester and working that case. "Well, we didn't have our guns, and we were locked in the room with him, and he didn't have any cuffs on... so he almost attacked us, but I was able to distract him until we were let out." Gideon laughed a little. Reid could distract anybody.

They continued to talk until Hotch walked in. "Now please explain why you had me get temporary tattoos." Gideon smiled.

Hotch sat down. "I've studied self-harm for a while. I came across a website called Recover Your Life, and one idea on how to stop is called The Butterfly Project. It's simple. You put the tattoos wherever you self harm. If you cut over the tattoo, then you'll have to wash it away. The thing is, you name the 'butterfly' or whatever it is somebody you care about and pray for to get better. Gideon looked straight at Reid. If you cut over it, it's like you're hurting that person. Now, once the tattoo washes away by itself, that means it's grown and 'flown' away. Then you repeat it. Hotch handed Reid the stack of large temporary tattoos. "I want you to tell me if you run out of those, okay." Reid nodded and looked down at them. There was a dragon, a robot type thing, one that said coca cola on it, and one that had a McDonald's sign on it. Reid smiled and laughed to himself.

A/N: also, I don't own Recover your life, McDonald's, or The Butterfly Project. Yes it's a real website and a real idea on how to quit and I've used it for a while, though it hasn't worked VERY well for me, it's helped. Anyway, please review, and I'll update by days again, cause I'll be happy again! Sorry for the fluff at the end, but I just had to do it!