Empty Handed

A/N: So this is it. The end of the story. I don't want to keep you from it so here it is Chapter 6: Empty Handed (bad ending)

As usual, I own nothing and everyone (along with their respective storylines) belong to their creator.

Hisoka turned the knife over in his hands. The blade was sharp and cold to the touch. He took a deep breath.

"Now what am I going to do with it?" He sat in the window taking in the sight of the knife, all the details, thinking of the easiest, quickest, most painless thing he could do with it. He had to make sure it would kill faster than he could heal. A thought came to him that made him put down the knife. "A note, it would be selfish of me to do this without leaving some sort of explanation."

So he wrote a letter explaining himself to the others of the bureau. Looking over the note he prepared himself for what was to come. He made sure he had a firm grip on the knife and positioned it lengthwise in front of his neck. He stood facing a mirror to make sure he wouldn't miss. All he had to do was sever his jugular and there would be no chance of survival. He would bleed out in seconds, no time for regeneration.

He pulled the blade close to his neck, but pulled it away when the cold metal touched his skin. He was hesitating almost hoping someone would come in and stop him. He would wait 5 minutes… just in case…

Tsuzuki stumbled down the same hall for the third time now…

"Since when have I been this forgetful? Where is Hisoka's room?" He leaned against the wall to regain his composure. He was out of breath and his side was throbbing. He could barely keep going, and from a medical standpoint he shouldn't continue, but something kept him at it. A feeling of urgency, a need to see Hisoka, and quickly. He had to keep going. It was taking him way too long…

Hisoka's mouth twisted into a frown. Seven minutes of silence. No one came, nothing happened. What was he waiting for anyway? Who was he waiting for? He couldn't wait any longer and this time, without hesitation, he thrust the knife up, tearing the delicate pale skin of his neck, crimson liquid poured from the wound staining the white flesh and splattering on the mirror. He collapsed.

At that same moment, the door flew open with a sense of urgency and Tsuzuki, standing in the doorway, eyes wide with terror, mouth hung open, speechless. He had made it, too late.

Too late for what?

He rushed to his partner. A limp figure crumpled face down on the floor. Tsuzuki started trembling, not sure what to do. He carefully turned Hisoka over and jumped back when he saw the look frozen on Hisoka's cold face.

Surprise and anguish told Tsuzuki all he needed to know. In the split second before death, Hisoka had seen the door open and regret his decision, but it had been too late. There was nothing that could be done now.

"If I was just a little quicker, Hi-hisoka…" tears welled in Tsuzuki's eyes as he backed away from his friend. Something fluttered to his feet and he choked when he saw it… a suicide not.

To My Friends,

I've told you time and again not to worry about me, but you never listen. No one ever does, so for the final time, please don't worry. I've thought this through and find it to be the best possible outcome. No more fear, no more worry, no more pain. A better place where I can feel, nothing. I want to assure you that this is entirely my choice and of no fault to you. And I want to thank you all for being so nice to me while I was here.

Chief—it was a pleasure working for you and I enjoyed the time I've spent here tin the Judgment Bureau.

Watari—although your methods are less than conventional, I've never doubted your knowledge or practice of medicine and the sciences.

Tatsumi—you've been looking out for me since I got here and worried the most. That's why I want to ask you to look after Tsuzuki for me.

And to Tsuzuki, my partner—Everyday you'd confuse me. I'd be at my wits end, but it was a nice change of pace. Someone to pay attention to and care about what I needed. You made me feel things I wasn't used to, or know what they were. I felt nervous whenever you were near me, afraid to say the wrong things. Afraid you would ignore me or treat me like so many others if I didn't live up to expectations. I know better now, and I can't help my heart races when I'm near you… Tsuzuki, I'm pretty sure I love you…

Tsuzuki blinked. Love? Hisoka loved him? Why had he never said anything before?

"Damn you Hisoka! You act entirely disinterested covering up your feelings along with others'. How was I supposed to know? How could I tell? How could you… when I love you… I've felt that way since…"

Tears streamed down his cheeks and smeared the ink it landed on. It was smudged but he could just make out the rest of the letter.

But I must say goodbye and just maybe, I'll see you again one day. Good bye Tsuzuki, good bye everyone. Hisoka Kurosaki…

"Hisoka… if only you knew what you mean to me… You're the only thing that kept me going… now you've left me empty handed…"

Tsuzuki saw the knife that had fallen out of Hisoka's hand. A thought came to him. He picked up the knife. He would see Hisoka again…

Rain poured down on the Judgment Bureau for a week now. The weather mirroring how everyone felt. Tatsumi stacked his papers for the fourth time that hour. He was slowly losing his ability to concentrate. He leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes. Watari came in silently closing the door behind him and sat down on Tatsumi's desk.

"You okay buddy?" Even Watari could only manage a sad half smile.

"I'm alright. I still can't believe it though…"

"None of us can. It was so sudden, everyone's devastated."

"I know Watari, I know. It's just, you and never tell. Tsuzuki was always so cheerful, I mean he had some troubles in the past but-"

"Hisoka's death triggered it… I don't care how many times he told us otherwise, he wasn't alright… we should have done something."

"What could we have done? He wasn't going to admit something was wrong. I hate to say this but… these things happen…" Tatsumi stood up and faced Watari. "But why did it have to happen to them?"

A single tear rolled down Tatsumi's cheek. Watari stood next to his friend and kissed him softly.

"I don't know, we'll never know…"

A/N: So so so so so very sad! I hate it and love it at the same time! But at least it's done! Tell me what you think. Also read the other chap. Don't worry that's the good ending! I finally finished a story and it's pretty damn good if I do say so myself (pardon my language). I'll be uploading some other stories… thinking of writing smut… not sure though. It would totally be TsuSoka… would anyone read it.. and where should I put it? I'm thinking deviantart or maybe figment… I don't know what the rating issue is on that site though… tell me what you think and stay with me yeah? Love you all who read it and I hope you stick with me! I couldn't do this without you!