It was a really relaxed morning. I went inside and started baking. I wanted to make cookies and other goodies for when his family got here later. I was planning on making chicken salad sandwiches and lemonade, at Harry's request. I wasn't sure I would deny him anything today.
He showered and got dressed. He was in a really good mood today, and it was infectious. It didn't completely quell my anxiety, but it helped to have him humming while he read the newspaper.
"Anything good?" I asked him.
"Nope," he said, "never liked the Daily Prophet much. Just got it... not really sure why I got it, actually. I've canceled my subscription though, not to worry."
I wasn't worried about the Daily Prophet at all, but that brought all of his affairs to mind. "Did you do that with a lot of things?"
"Oh yes," he said, nodding. He set the newspaper down and hobbled over to me. "I've got a folder of stuff to give you later, but that's for later. If I'm correct, Teddy should be here soon."
And he was. I had not ever really met Teddy before. He had been out of Hogwarts by the time I was, and traveled a lot for work. While I had seen him at Al's wedding and if I remembered correctly from Al telling me, he worked with magical creatures. He was living in France currently, with his wife, Victoire, who was absolutely gorgeous. I could tell right away she was pregnant. Her stomach was pretty large, I guessed she was probably seven months along.
I worked in the kitchen while they caught up, so it wasn't really eavesdropping. I was correct, she was due in about two months and it was a boy. They seemed like a pretty sweet couple. They were quiet, and I had a feeling they would get a little lost in the crowd later. I was really glad they would have this time with Harry.
Harry told Teddy a story about his father. I knew that Teddy was his godson, but they sounded pretty close. I hoped that Teddy was listening to every word Harry was saying, but when I allowed myself a glance into the other room, he was. He sat forward, eyes fixed on Harry intently, but still had his wife's hand in his. They seemed very sweet.
The next people to arrive were James and his family. James and Katrina were the complete opposite of Teddy and Victoire. They were loud and a little bit goofy. Their two kids, Jason and Lilith, were adorable but had inherited their parents' silly dispositions. It was nice to have lots of people in the house, though, especially with the little children running around. I could imagine it, a generation ago, with Al running around.
Al was the last to arrive, and I was surprised to see Sylvia in his arms. I thought he was only supposed to have her on the weekends, but she was a cheerful addition. I watched the family from afar, feeling like an outsider. I was an outsider.
But Harry was so happy. He looked more alive than I had ever seen him, surrounded by all the love. Everyone treated him normally today, as if they were trying to forget that he was ill. He had Sylvia sitting on his knee, and she just looked up at her grandfather and smiled. They shared a lot, actually. They had the same unruly, black hair and a lot of the same facial expressions.
I was happy because he was happy. The sheer bliss was so evident on his face. He had helped build this family, and it was so successful. It wasn't perfect, but it was as close as it could get.
I started setting up lunch so that they could eat outside. It was a really beautiful spring day out, so I set up a few tables together and they could enjoy the weather. It was pretty warm, and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. I got all of the meal ready for them, and they took their seats. Harry sat at the head of the patchwork table.
I went back inside to get dessert on plates and make more lemonade. From afar, I continued to watch them. There was a window in the kitchen that gave me a perfect view of the table. I envied them, so much. It was such a great family. I wanted to be a part of a network like theirs, where everyone cared about each other. It seemed like such a great thing.
Al came in about halfway through their meal, and I was a little confused. "Hey," I said. If only I could tell him what I knew, so that he would appreciate this time more.
"Hi Norah," he said, walking over to me. He was only an arm's length away as I stirred the lemonade. He followed my eyes to see me admiring his family.
"How are you?" I asked. I could tell there was something wrong with him
"I'm okay," he said, "sad, mostly. It's the last time that we'll all be together as a family."
I nodded. "I think so," I said, not meeting his eyes.
"You probably know the best, how is he doing?" he asked. His eyes were wide and innocent, and I had to think quickly.
"He'ssosick, Al," I said. "It's terrible to watch."
"How much time do you think he has left?"
I shrugged. "Not very long," I told him. "It's... getting close to the end, Al." I could finally look him in the eyes and saw his were shining.
He just nodded. I put my hand on his back, and he leaned into me for a moment. We were both quiet for a minute. "Norah?" he asked.
"Al?" I asked back.
"Do you think that maybe... after this is all over... you would consider going out with me?" he asked, rather sheepishly.
I looked at him and then looked down. There was definitely somethingtherebetween us, but I didn't know exactly what. But it was hard to even think about that right now. I was so preoccupied with today.
"I'm sorry," he stammered. "I-"
"It's okay," I said. "I- yes, I will."
He smiled and nodded. It was nice to see him smile for the first time today. "Come eat with us," he said.
I shook my head. I wasn't intruding on their last day of being together, even if Harry and I were the only ones that knew. It didn't feel right to me, but I did want to keep observing from afar. "It's not right," I told him, "I'm sorry."
He grabbed the pitcher of lemonade in one hand and my hand in the other and dragged me out there. "Al," I said. "Please..."
"Don't worry about it," he pressed. "Just come enjoy lunch."
It seemed like I had no choice now, but I was hungry and I had been admiring them. It was a little awkward because I didn't really know any of them, other than Al and Harry. However, it seemed like there was enough conversation going on at the table. It was nice to just get to feel like I was sort of in the middle of it.
Lunch was good too. It pleased me that the food I made was good. And after lunch was over and the children ran about the yard a bit, while the adults talked. I took that as an opportunity to go back into the house and get everything cleaned up.
It was another few hours before people started to filter out. I was pretty sure they all realized this would be the last time they would all be together, and clung to the moment. Harry looked like he was getting pretty tired, though, so they began to head out.
Of course, Al was the last to leave, but I knew he was the most informed about the situation. He helped me clean up and take down the tables I had set up on the lawn. Finally, however, Sylvia was getting cranky and it was time for them to go home. Harry came back in the house and took a seat in the living room.
"You've got a great family," I told him.
He nodded and smiled. "I do," he said. "I'm a very lucky man."
He wanted to rest for a bit so I took care of some things around the house. I had a huge sense of foreboding about tonight. I didn't know if I could go through with it, but I kept reminding myself of the reasons I agreed in the first place.
When I came back downstairs, he was asleep in his chair. I wondered if I should wake him or not. He wanted to go out to dinner tonight, but I didn't want to tire him out too much. I didn't know if he would want to waste his final few hours asleep.
I decided to wake him up. He said I should go get dressed and he would wake up, so I went back upstairs. I felt very listless today, like I was a drifting about the house with no real purpose, even though I was very busy. I put on a dress and made my hair look nice. I hadn't gotten dressed up at all since I had lost my job, many months ago. It felt weird but it was also a good thing.
It was inevitable that I kept thinking about his death. Everything I did came back to what was going to happen tonight. I knew I would spend the next few days dressed up, for the funeral events. I didn't even know if he wanted a funeral, though I guessed he would want something small, with just his family. Al probably knew.
I walked down the stairs, my heels making a clicking sound on the stairs. Over the railing, I could see he was still in his chair, half asleep.
"Can we stay in?" he asked, sitting up straighter as I entered the room.
"Of course," I told him. "Anything you want."
"We can order takeaway, since you hadn't planned on making dinner. I think I want to have a fire in the backyard," he said. "I've got a few things to get rid of."
I wondered exactly what he was getting rid of, but agreed to make a fire for him. I told him to order us dinner, and went outside to start a fire. The heels came off quickly, I didn't want to break them, and suddenly I found myself walking across the back yard in bare feet and a dress. There was a pile of wood behind the house, and I set it up near our seats from this morning's sunrise. We might as well watch the sun set.
The fire was quick to start, and it wasn't long before it was a reasonably steady flame. He hobbled out to me, carrying two bags. I knew the first had our food in it, and guessed the other contained stuff to burn.
"Thank you," he said.
"No problem," I told him. He handed me the food, and I took what I wanted. The Indian food was actually really good. I waited until he had tossed a handful of letters into the fire to hand him back the food. "What are you burning?"
"Some old letters," he told me. "Just things I would never want falling into the hands of people outside my family."
I could appreciate that, definitely. He had lots of skeletons in his closet, I was sure, and wanted to reduce the amount that would get into the press. We ate and watched the papers burn as the sun disappeared behind the trees.
"What a beautiful day," he said. "Everything went perfectly."
"I'm glad to hear it," I said. The fact that he thoroughly enjoyed his last day was one of the reasons that kept me going through with tonight. I thought about how his life would end otherwise. He would be in loads of pain, gasping for air, and very uncomfortable. That was not how he deserved to go out.
He handed me a glass of wine and we toasted. "To life," he said.
"To life," I repeated, quietly.
It wasn't long before the papers were gone, the fire had died down, and it got very cold. I helped him back into the house, where he sat in the living room. It was getting late, which meant the time I'd been anticipating all day was drawing very close.
"When do you want to do it?" I asked him.
"I'll let you know." he told me. "Soon... I just need a few moments to reflect."
I completely understood, and went to get the potions ready. His normal Sedation Serum for sleeping, and then the super concentrated version.
He went into his bedroom, changing into pajamas.
"I think I'm almost ready," he said. I went into his bedroom, a place I had never been before. I had let him have this as his personal space.
He handed me a huge envelope of stuff. "This is for you, later," he said. "Open it tomorrow or something. It's just some things for you."
The word things alerted me. "It's not money, is it?"
He shook his head. "No. Well, yeah kind of, but no. Al is in charge of that."
"You didn't need to leave me anything," I told him. "I hope it wasn't a lot." I was flooded with guilt. I didn't think I deserved any of his money.
"It's nothing huge," he said, quietly. "And I have a specific purpose for it, as Al will explain. You deserve it. You're the best thing that's happened to me in the past few years, Norah. You gave me a great gift: dignity. You didn't put up with me when I was being an arse, you had my best interests in mind but you didn't baby me. That's such a rare thing, and you did it. You're fantastic."
My eyes began to tear up, and I wiped at them furiously. I wanted to keep it together. He took the small vile of Sedation Serum from me, and emptied the red liquid into his mouth. He shuddered because the taste was awful, and got into bed.
"Comfortable?" I asked him. I sat at the foot of his bed, waiting.
He nodded. "Extremely." he said. He closed his eyes for a moment, letting the potion take its effect. "A few last things. Remind my kids I love them and they're fantastic. In the envelope I left you a letter of recommendation for reference, if you should need it for a job. I think you should try and get back to St. Mungo's, you're being wasted. And don't forget Al. That's about it."
"Are you afraid?" I asked, honestly.
"No," he said, quietly. "I'm ready. I've heard it's easier than falling asleep. And I can't wait to see Ginny again."
I realized that was the first time he had said her name to me, and smiled. I knew he would be happy, and find freedom in this next step. He seemed very peaceful.
"Ready?" I asked, my voice shaking. I was so nervous my hands were sweaty and shaking.
"You'll stay with me?" he asked.
"If you'd like me to," I offered. He nodded, and I uncorked the second vial for him.
He put it to his lips, and drank it. I felt relief knowing there was no more I could do. It was done.
I took his hand in mine and just held it. His eyes got heavier. "Thank you, Norah, for everything," he said, slowly.
"Of course," I told him.
I watched him intently the next few minutes. My heart beat wildly in my chest, not knowing exactly what was going to happen. His chest rose and fell still, so I knew he was still alive. There were so many emotions going through me- anxiety, sadness, confusion, and a little tiny bit of regret. I decided to ignore the regret.
Tears rolled down my face, but I kept silent. I didn't want him to see me crying as one of his last thoughts in this life. "Good bye, Harry," I whispered.
After what may have been forever, I watched his chest rise for the last time. He was gone.
Author's Note: Here's the last chapter :) The epilogue and final notes will be in the next post. Thank you for all your support, I can't wait to hear what you think! As always, thank you to potter-reading-coastie for being an awesome beta. Thanks everyone!