Christy put on a brave face, accidentally forgetting her situation a half dozen times every day. She worked till the end of the term, busied herself with Christmas decorating and even enjoyed the carols, identifying with Mary in all new and terrifying ways.

A few days before Christmas, at the mission, they put up the tree. The children had made decorations in school, illustrations of the Christmas story. She spent an evening looking at the children's decorations and took her time putting them up.

"Christy," David sat on the couch behind her.

She turned and found they were alone.

"I know." He gave her a significant look.

"You know...?"

"I know."

"Oh." It suddenly got real – more real. David knew. Her secret wasn't going to stay a secret.

"I overheard you and Alice talking."

Christy nodded.

"Look," he stood up beside her, took her hands, "I want to marry you. I care about you and you deserve better than this. I know you don't love me like you do him. I don't expect that to change. But you deserve better than this. We could be a family. We could stay here, or whatever you like."

"Oh, David. I can't ask that of you."

"You didn't."

She looked up at him, into his kind eyes. She'd once thought of him that way, thought she might one day love him. She'd only been swept up in his feelings for her. "I have to think about it."

He nodded, "Of course."

"Thank you – it's a very generous, incredible offer."

"If we do, then we should do so soon. Or else I suspect we'd have to leave the cove, and I know that's the last thing you want to do."

She reached out for him and he hugged her.

A horse whinnied outside.

Christy turned to see out the window, pulling away from David.

She tore out the door. There was no doubt in her mind that it was Neil riding away in haste, and that he'd seen her hugging David. She forgot everything, only aware of what he must be thinking and feeling, seeing her embrace a man who'd once courted her.

"Neil, wait!" She cried out, running down the steps. She could hear his horse galloping away – he'd already disappeared into the dark.

David was standing on the porch behind her.

Christy headed for the stables and started saddling Prince.

"Christy, this is rash. Go to him in the morning. It's dark and cold; you're in no state to..."

"Are you going to help me or stand there?"

"Christy!"

She ignored him, tightening the straps. "You can help me or you can lecture me, but either way I'm going after him. I have to explain."

He sighed, checked and adjusted the straps, then helped her up into the saddle. "Please be careful."

"I will. I promise."

"You're saying no, aren't you?"

"I'll think about it." She rode out of the stables. It was really dark, and probably icy, but Prince was sure-footed so she let him have the reigns most of the way.

David was right, she realised; she couldn't marry David – she couldn't do that to Neil. She couldn't pretend this baby was David's. For starters he or she would probably have wild auburn curls. The thought made her smile. The thought that she might lose this baby, that life would be easier if she did, was heartbreaking. At some point it had stopped being a tragedy and become a wonderful gift.

She got more nervous on the descent to Neil's cabin. Her need to set the record straight, to reassure Neil, overwhelmed her fears of facing him again. She prayed for courage to walk into his home and then, the hard part, out again.

She paused at the door, took a deep breath and knocked. She heard him groan, furniture scraped against the floor, then footsteps.

"What is it?" He barked as he opened the door. "Oh." His tone softened.

"It was just a hug." She spoke quickly and hated how defensive she sounded.

"What?" He snapped.

"You were at the mission, weren't you? You saw David hug me. I didn't want you to think..."

He nodded once, cold as ice.

"Neil," She begged. She wasn't sure what for, but she was begging.

"You want to talk now? You told me to go, so I went."

She nodded. "And now you're back."

"This is my home – though you're everywhere in it." He backed into the cabin.

Knowing it would weaken her, but unable to avoid it, she stepped inside. It was just barely warmer, sheltered from the wind.

"Alice wrote to me." He said

"What did she say?"

"That you needed me."

She waited, wondered, then realised: he did not know about the baby.

"Do you?" He wasn't looking at her.

"Oh Neil, I need to tell you something. I need to -" She sighed, felt his eyes on her, looked up. "I'm pregnant."

His eyes widened, but he reigned in his response and stepped up to her. "Are you all right?"

"I'm healthy – just tired."

He smiled, slightly, tried to keep it under wraps, took her face between his hands and made her look at him. "I will make this right." He vowed.

She shook her head. "You're still married."

"The divorce papers are in the mail. If I am it's a technicality. You are my wife." He took hold of her arms. "These past weeks have been torture."

She nodded her agreement, finally daring to look him in the eye. There was just no way she could pull away when he kissed her. It was like coming home. They may have had barely two nights together, but there had been hundreds of kisses, thousands. And now, all barriers were down. She was too tired, too tired of being strong. He was warm and strong, and it felt so very right. She held onto him desperately, her body acting without checking in with her brain, as if this were a natural, undeniable instinct. Any rational thought was whisked away with the next kiss, and there wasn't space between them for the fog to clear.

He picked her up and carried her to their bed, never allowing a space between their bodies. This was the only warm space in an ice-cold world.

Afterwards there was no letting go. His hold on her loosened just enough that they might lie next to each other. He pulled up the blankets, tucked them around her then rested his head on the pillow, watching her face like it held the secrets to the universe.

She traced her fingertips around the lines of his face, leaning in for kisses as if to assure herself he was real. "That was incredible." She groaned when he caressed her, pressing against him on impulse.

He smiled, pulled her close, chest swelling with joy at seeing her pleasure, at having her back, where she belonged.

He watched her fall asleep and he soon followed.