Silently, the group gazed on; entranced, as it was.
Sakumo was the first one to break the silence.
"This is that surprise that Makoto, er, 'had' you, Sano and Fumiko…working on…all yesterday…for him?" he asked dubiously of Kenshin.
The redhead only nodded glumly, his eyebrow twitching slightly.
"Dear Kami-sama… T-This…" Naruto stuttered softly, catching everyone's attention. "This is…!"
Before them, the group beheld a giant basin carved out of rock and superheated to prevent cracks and to remove bacteria. The basin itself was roughly a mile wide and half as much deep. Thick, yellow liquid was the contents of the giant basin, long wisps of steam billowing out every now and then. Through the liquid, one could make out the shapes of various plant-life. On a much closer observation, however, it would appear to be exceedingly long strands of what appeared to be wavy noodles.
Indeed, it was the world's largest bowl of ramen. Ever.
Much to the surprise of his friends – not so much the surprise to his other bodies – Namikaze Naruto fell to his knees and cried at the beauty of the sight before him.
"Naru-oyaji!" Yoruichi squealed worriedly, rushing from under Sakumo to her pseudo-grandfather. When he failed to respond, she resorted to poking him repeatedly.
Kenshin eyed him a little strangely. "…Naruto-sama?" he inquired.
Yamamoto just muttered darkly under his breath, still understandably upset at his impromptu promotion notice one day prior.
Tsunade twitched slightly at the mental feedback from Naruto and roughly crossed her arms under her chest, causing Sanosuke, Kenshin, Yamamoto, Gaara and Sakumo to look away while Kakashi discreetly ogled his female counterpart. "Don't worry about him, he's fine. I thought you guys knew he loves ramen?" Despite herself, she found that she, too, was eying the Lake o' Ramen a tad hungrily.
Anko and Makoto merely looked at each other, grinned, then immediately stripped themselves naked. "RAMEN SKINNY DIPPING!" the duo screamed deliriously, cannonballing into the Lake.
Sakura sighed and Hinata gently rubbed the bridge of her nose while Fumiko slumped to the ground, praying to Kami-sama in relief that Makoto wasn't trying to actively rape her at the moment.
The men sans Naruto quickly averted their gazes lest they nosebleed into the broth and earn Naruto's wrath.
It all went downhill, unfortunately, when Sanosuke snorted and shook his head in disgust. "If I never had to see another drop of ramen in my life, I would be so happy. That stuff sucks."
Kenshin and Sakumo paled dramatically. "Sano, you idiot!" they hissed in tandem.
Naruto turned his head at the thoughtless comment so fast, poor Yoruichi squawked when she nearly flew off her new seat on top of said head.
"WHAT. DID. YOU. SAY?"
Nobody spoke for several minutes.
The only ambient sounds were from Anko and Makoto off in the distance, happily splashing about naked in the sea of LCL…er, ramen.
Naruto gently plucked the purple-haired one off of his head, shooed her off towards the others, and then promptly resumed being properly outraged.
"You…You…YOU DARE SPEAK BLASPHEMY AGAINST THE HOLY FOOD?" Naruto spluttered/roared indignantly, causing Sanosuke to flinch.
Yoruichi giggled, peeking out from halfway behind Tsunade. "Oooooh, you're in twouble~!" she sang, much to his consternation.
Tsunade, easily the only level-headed member of the group (Union or otherwise), rolled her eyes in exasperation at her main body. "Okay, people, move it," she muttered, picking up Yoruichi and ushering the other stragglers away from the slaughter.
Retsu Unohana was a young Shinigami of around one hundred and fifty years. She was a pretty woman, moderately tall and athletic with a rather expansive bosom. Her long black hair and alluring dark eyes only added to her charm.
However, her classmates Kyoraku Shunsui and Ukitake Jushiro could attest to her near legendary temper. It also did not help things that her own master, one Senju Tsunade, was also known for her fiery temper.
She had taken up the woman's offer to be an apprentice medic, and thus had to learn to curb her temper down when dealing with idiots who refused to lay down and heal. And yes, if you'd noticed, that was a double entendre.
Unfortunately in this case, Unohana was dealing with idiots who refused to sit down and wait patiently.
One of the Central 46 councilmen roared aloud, yet again, "Where is Namikaze? He was assigned to be here several hours ago!"
She successfully resisted the urge to drown herself. Barely. She briefly wondered why Tsunade-sama had chosen her to represent the Sotaicho's party, but instead, delicately replied, "I'm sure he was merely…delayed…by some unforeseen circumstances."
Another councilman immediately rejected her reasoning. "Bah, he's the Sotaicho! He needs no excuse, I'm sure he's just being lazy – as usual."
They were already exiling him, and that had the nerve to badmouth him behind his back? Unohana was hard pressed to reign in her anger again. Namikaze Naruto was one of the few people she actually respected, and – dare she say it – actually had a crush on. How could she not? He was the perfect gentleman, with a great sense of humor, was also a courageous role-model Shinigami…and he was so totally smokin' hot.
And she could not believe she just thought that. Even if it was true.
Before she could argue with her subconscious mind, an explosion rocked the chamber.
An all-too familiar voice sounded out, and despite the anger the voice held, Unohana couldn't hold back the slight blush that sprang to her face at the sound. She was suddenly very grateful for the resultant smokescreen.
Her attention was then caught by the two dueling combatants that had appeared before her.
"SANOSUKE! DIE!" Naruto raged, a reiatsu Rasengan formed in one hand, a Zanpakuto in the other.
"I-I SWEAR I DIDN'T MEAN IT!" Sanosuke begged, his Shinigami uniform badly torn up.
The begging actually made Naruto's reaction worse. "SAVE IT, YOU HEATHEN! I WON'T LISTEN TO ANY MORE OF YOUR LIES!"
"Namikaze!" another faceless councilmember cried out. "What is the meaning of this!"
Like a switch, Naruto grinned cheerily at them despite the fact that he held Sanosuke by his throat and had Kessho Bengosha no Tsurugi pressed deeply against the man's cheek.
"Maa, maa, it's nothing, really. Just a lil' tussle between me and Sano-kun here," he explained brightly, pulling Sanosuke's neck up slightly for emphasis.
"Ano…Naruto-sama…?" Unohana called out shyly.
Naruto turned his head to her, his face a mask of confusion. It made for a rather comical effect, as he was still holding the former fight merchant's neck.
"Eh? Unohana-chan? What're you doing here?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Um…Tsunade-sama asked me to r-represent you," she responded softly, a slight blush gracing her cheeks again.
Naruto raised another eyebrow. "Ah, okay…thank you, then." Unaware of her crush, he shot her a sunny smile that made her feel a little weak in the knees. "Now where was I…?"
He raised his Zanpakuto only for a hand that wasn't his to grasp it from behind.
The blonde tilted his head back to see Tsunade frowning at him. "Naruto," she growled, increasing the pressure on the sword.
He rolled his eyes. "I was only trying to kill him a little. Jeez." He released the brown-haired man who then massaged his throat and shot the blonde woman a grateful look. Unohana giggled at his antics, catching Tsunade's attention. She waved her apprentice over while attending to Sanosuke.
"Anyway, sorry I was late councilmen!" Naruto exclaimed brightly, dusting off the dirt on his favorite cloak.
The Central 46, sufficiently disturbed by the casual display of violence, were now officially convinced that the blonde immortal had to go, and A.S.A.F.P.
"Right. Namikaze, seriously, just get the fuck out of here," one of them said tiredly, making a 'shoo, go away' motion.
If anything, that just made the former Sotaicho's grin even wider, which in turn caused Unohana to nearly swoon in her place and Tsunade to roll her own eyes.
"On it, boss-man~!"
And so, that was the great and epic start to Namikaze Naruto's long exile. Going out with a bang.
He had to deal with a crying Yoruichi - complete with puppy-dog eyes, rating 9.7 once again on the cuteness scale – and an irate group of friends (and his star-struck new admirer Unohana) for pulling a stupid stunt like that at first, however.
After settling them down, he left his other selves in the Seireitei…for now, at least. Since they were him, and he was them, by all means it would be like he never left in the first place. In his oh so honest opinion, anyway. Makoto would be covertly leaving a few weeks after him, once the fallout settled down. Then one by one, his other bodies would 'retire' later on, so to speak.
Tsunade already had a good replacement in 'young' Unohana-chan, so she was good to go as it was. The others were…not as fortunate. Some potential candidates were Unohana-chan's friends, Jushiro and Shunsui, so he had taken Yamamoto aside and told him to disguise himself as a creepy old man – as a joke, but it was taken seriously ("WHY?" the boy had demanded – Naruto then gave some lame excuse that he needed to be disguised and he'd bought it like an idiot) for some odd reason – and offer to train them. He had a good laugh at his ex-pupil's expense, though.
Mainly, he was worried about Yoruichi. But at least she had Kisuke and Tessai, along with a recent addition to their crew; a new soul around their age by the name of Kurosaki Isshin.
Many were teary-eyed, but he left with a promise to send some mail every now and then once he settled down somewhere. And with that, he was gone.
A/N: Please excuse the stream of consciousness style of this chapter (of the whole story, really) and the shortness. I've had a REALLY loooong week, what with my mother's birthday, her surprise party, being dragged to the beach, and then having said mother pretty much clean out my room without my knowledge. Sheesh…
Anyways Chapitre Dix I have planned out to be a montage of Naruto's exploits in the human world.
Also, thanks for the reviews, faves, alerts, etc. Please be sure to do so again! I'd really appreciate it.