Author's Note= So far, this chapter has to be my favorite. I quite like how I made Matt's past. So I really enjoyed making his dream in here =) And in case you didn't notice, the chapters from Matt's Point of view are far and few, though I believe I have one coming up, and there's a bit of his POV coming in this chapter. And all the reviews I've been receiving have been doing their jobs, and motivating me. =) If you want info on upcoming chapters, it's on my profile. I've got a whole "Long Term Projects" thing going on. =P And before I forget to mention it; I've got a poll on my profile. Your thoughts on character death in here. Depending on the results, I'll either stick to canon or disregard it.

Song For This Chapter= Lithium by Evanescence

Mello's POV

"What're you cooking Matt?" I asked, casually leaning against the door frame, a small smile on my lips.

Said hacker turned to me with an easy grin, a cigarette dangled between his lips. No wonder he's in a good mood.

"I'm making French toast," he said.

My smile dissolved. There was something in his tone; false happiness, real emptiness. I walked towards him, fixing my glare on him. His body didn't have any tension, increasing my suspicion.

"Matt, what's wrong?" I asked quietly, continuing to advance.

Only now, did he realize that I was on to him. My second clue that he wasn't alright was his stupidity. He backed up, putting his arm on the stove burner. My third clue was his reaction or rather, lack thereof. One whole minute later he numbly put his arm in front of his face.

"Whoopsies." He giggled; the freak fucking giggled.

"Matt, what are you on?" I asked.

Then I took his arm by the wrist and looked for needle marks. Though, the burn wasn't too bad. I was drawing in a breath for a sigh, when I smelled it. There was something laced in his cigarette. I decided not to press yet, but I still wanted to know what I was dealing with.

"I won't get mad, I promise." I sealed the promise with a gentle kiss on his neck.

"Uh… nicotine and lithium." That explained it.

"You bought it on the street?" I whispered with my face still against his neck. Never mind me not pressing…

"Yeah," his voice was breathy and his hands found my hips.

"How?" I knew where I wanted this to go. In his right mind, he would too, but in his self-induced drugged state, he wouldn't have a clue.

"I went out, out downtown." He paused, snuggling his nose into my hair. "Then I waited until I found an old friend of Bullet's, then I bought the lithium." Drugged Matt was so honest… and affectionate…

"Where did you get the money?" I let my curiosity enter my tone; it's not like his fogged brain would be able to comprehend it.

"On the street." I stiffened, so that's where he had gone.

He snuggled his nose deeper into my hair. I could feel his unspoken question; "Did I do something wrong?"

I relaxed, melting into his hold, his grip tightened. It was then that I knew that I had contacted his inner dominate side. The drugs probably pushed down the experiences that usually blocked it.

"Matt, I want you to take me to the bedroom," I whispered in a needy tone, "and help me with a little problem…" removing myself from the crook of his neck, I reached up and pulled off his goggles.

His eyes were a deep, but still bright, shade of emerald green. His pupils were dilated, confirming his drug use, and stopping any real emotions from being seen.

Trailing my fingers down from his temple to his belt, I spoke in a seductive tone, "then let me help you."

His breathing hitched, and then he spun me around and began to give me gentle pushes towards our room. He silently reached over my shoulder to pull the knob. On the way to the door, his mouth had found a place on the back of my neck to kiss and suck. I let out a breathy moan to please him, I know it did because Matt grinded against me and released his own groan.

After opening the door, he pushed me onto the bed. My own arms pinned underneath my chest. Matt sat on my ass, legs on either side of me; I could clearly feel his erection. He reached under me, not releasing my arms from their prison, to undo my vest and somehow pull it off. I felt his bare chest against my back. When I turned to look at him through the mirror, he had covered my eyes.

"You aren't allowed to stare." He whispered in my ear.

"Never," I replied.

He removed his hand and I only allowed myself to glance at the mirror. But I had seen all I needed to.

"You can look…" his voice trembled a little, "I want to know if you still want me after."

He got off me and stood in front of the mirror. I moved, and sat up.

His body was… scarred, disfigured. Under the scars I could see the pale skin was once smooth. There were marks; from lashings it looked like. I couldn't help it, I reached up and ran a finger down one; he shivered. Hesitantly, I leaned forwards and licked one; he jumped and turned around. I looked over his front. He had a circular scar on his stomach; I wasn't sure what it was from. More disfigurements from lashings were on his chest. And though his face was blank, his eyes held hope. He hoped I accepted him, it was progress at least. I ran my hands down his torso and his blank expression changed to one of surprise.

"You… don't mind?" Matt whispered, apparently thinking if he spoke too loud I would change my mind.

"I like it," I replied, leaning down to lick his nipple. "I still have a small little problem."

I looked up at him, and he responded with a relieved smile. He leaned down to my ear.

"Maybe later, Piss Kit."

PISS KIT! This kid is screwed…

~Matt's POV~

"Where am I going?" I looked up at my father, who smiled; though it never reached his eyes.

"We're going… on a scavenger hunt." His voice faded, and so did his face. It faded into black, and the next thing to torment me was the forest.

I was running, tears streaking my face. I shrieked as branches left cuts on my arms and face that would scar. I ran as fast as I could and came upon a shore.

Blood, it was everywhere. It was on my face, on my hands. Was my hair red naturally? Or was it because of the blood?

Orange… I reached out and took the goggles. They were orange, not red.

I screamed as hands pulled me away from the man's mangled corpse.

"A devil child?"

A woman's scream vibrated through the air. "Matt! OH God that dreaded thing killed him!"

I wailed, becoming dizzy as a needle pierced my wrist. My wailing died down as two hands rubbed my wrists and my neck.

I hissed out my breath as I sat up. I looked over at the blonde beside me, sighing to relax my heart beat. I slipped out of the bed and stared at my reflection in the mirror. Why did Mello have such a thing? The blonde did like to look at himself…

Messy red hair and awkward orange goggles, I shivered. I could still remember the blood that had stained my skin for so long. Though Mello may not realize it, I hate it when he calls me 'blood pup'. It made me remember and I didn't want to remember; only forget.

I stood up, shaking, and tried to push back the memories. The blood, the forest, I just wanted to remember the needle, the lithium. It had made me feel so… empty. I'd rather feel empty than to feel the blood running through my fingers.

I silently opened the door before closing it just as quietly. I wished I was back with Bullet at that moment. He had my special cigarettes. The cigarettes with a small dose of my favorite drug, the infamous lithium; I craved it badly.

I reached into my back pocket and pulled money. Some I had earned and some had been given to me. I counted it. Good, it was enough for several shots of lithium, and fags.

With that I set out. Maybe I'd cook later if I felt better. Something to ease Mello's suspicions perhaps.

A/N= Can anyone guess what Matt's circular scar was from? *evil smile* Yes, I'm being real mean to our Matty…