Disclaimer: I don't own anything, Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer and songs belong to their owners.
Songs:
Only Hope- Mandy Moore
When I Look At You- Miley Cyrus
She Will Be Loved- Maroon 5
Let Go- Frou Frou
Oops I Did it Again- Britney Spears
Wannabe- Spice Girls
Tangled Up In Me:
Chapter 8: Wannabe
"Where is it!" I almost screamed as I threw items around on my desk and flipped my covers over again on my already messy bed. "Ok Bella, breathe." I tried to talk myself down from having a panic attack.
I thought back to the last time I remembered having my notebook. I was working on a song through fourth period and lunch and then shoved everything into my bag when Edward walked into the room...but apparently not everything, because my notebook was no where to be found in my now disaster of a room.
"The piano" I said aloud at my revelation. I must have left it in he music room near the piano and since no one had returned it or asked it had to still be there.
I grabbed my jacket and keys and headed down the stairs.
Charlie was in the living room watching sports as usual. "Where ya headed?" He asked without looking back at me.
"I left something at school, I'll be back in a bit." I told him without stopping.
"Uh...Bella?" he asked in a confused voice. This did cause me to pause at the door. I turned to face him, he had moved silently from the couch to stand across from me in the entryway. "It's 11:30 and the school is locked."
I smirked at him. "Like I can't sneak into a locked building with sub-par security. I'll be in and out in fifteen minutes and no one will be the wiser."
"True" he laughed, "But if I get a call about my 'daughter' breaking into the school I will give you hell about it. Forever."
"I've got it covered" I told him holding up my laptop and a couple of wires.
"Ahh...the old loop in the security footage trick?"
"Yep" I said laughing and waved before turning and continuing my quest to retrieve my notebook.
It wasn't that I was an extremely private person...well I was but I had very good reasons to be. Somehow I don't think introducing yourself as the spy-next-door would go too well. However, my songs were something I felt were especially private, even from the eyes of my employers. There also happened to be a very personal song with the title "For Edward" in it and I didn't want him-or anyone- to see it. Ever.
There was no one in the parking lot when I pulled in but I parked my truck behind the gym anyway, just to be safe.
I knew from my research and time spent in Forks that there were 10 security cameras and a primitive alarm system that could be shut off from a box by the science wing. I opened my laptop in the cab of the truck and hacked into the schools security feed. I rewound the video back about five minutes and set it on a loop so that I would be invisible to the school's "eyes". This was one of the things National Treasure got right, but it was actually easier than they made it look, then again Forks High School was no National Archives building and I wasn't trying to steal the Declaration of Independence, I just wanted my journal back.
I stuck to the shadows and disabled the alarm when I reached the doors by the science classrooms. I figured that it would be easier-and quieter- to pick the lock on one of the windows rather than the heavy double doors. I grabbed a bobby-pin from my hair-because a good spy knows never to leave home without one, ok so you don't have to be a spy to know that rule, just a girl- and turned the lock. I slipped silently inside he classroom and headed for the door.
I stopped before entering the hallway and double checked to make sure no janitors were around and stepped out into the hall. It only took minutes to reach the music room. I walked over and pulled the blinds down and closed both on the windows and on the door. I hadn't had to foresight to bring a flashlight and I wasn't taking any chance. It would be pretty difficult to explain how I had broken into the school without tripping the alarm or being recorded on the cameras. I turned on the lights and headed to the black baby grand piano sitting in the front of the room. Edward Masen Sr. donated it so Edward would have a good piano to practice on. Typical.
I looked all around the piano, on the shelves that held the sheet music, and the cubicles we had been given to store smaller instruments and music we were working on. Nothing. I couldn't find it.
Panic started to rise. I was praying to God that no one had found and read it, or worse figured out that it was actually mine.
I took a few deep breaths realizing that freaking out right now would not fix my problem. I would just have to wait until tomorrow and see if anyone had seen it.
I turned of the lights and replaced the blinds to their original positions. The room looked as if I had never stepped foot in it.
As I was walking back down the hallway I heard a sound coming from around the corner. My curiosity getting the better of me, I crept toward the sound. As I got closer I noticed one of the doors was cracked open and there was a soft light flowing through it.
From my position in the hall I could barely make out a mop of red hair bent over the desk. I silently pushed the door open a fraction wider to get a better view. Victoria was sitting at the desk looking intently at a file. There was a larger pile of files sitting next to her and the computer was running. I didn't understand what had alerted me to her presence because the computer wasn't loud enough and there was no music playing.
"No, nothing new. She assures me she has it all under control. Yes she fixed it. We're in position to move forward."
My forehead scrunched in confusion as I tried to make sense of her words. It wasn't until she turned her head to look back at the computer screen that I noticed the bluetooth device in her ear. She was on the phone.
I slipped back down the hall like a ghost and after I had re-enabled the security system I rushed back to my truck.
When I was inside I checked my laptop. While I had looped the feed that was being recorded onto tape the live feed was still being run onto my computer screen. I rewound to where Victoria first entered the school. The time stamp indicated it was 9 pm. She had been there for three hours. I decided I better get home before she left so I didn't get caught, but kept the school's security feed running on my computer.
I walked into the house and found Charlie exactly as I had left him, on the couch. He had fallen asleep and I shook him awake so I could show him what I had found.
We went down to the basement that had been put in for our specific use on this assignment. It kind of reminded me of the set up Henry has in I Am Number Four, with the surveillance feed running and a screen that was constantly updating RSS feeds and automatically searching for anything to do with the Masen's and their company.
Charlie went upstair for some coffee while I ran through the security footage. I stopped when I noticed Victoria going into the principals office and coming out with the stack of files I had seen on her desk. What was she doing with student files? It would make sense if she was a guidance counselor but she was just a substitute while another teacher was on maternity leave.
I switched over to the live feed as Charlie entered the room.
"What cha got?" he asked sipping his coffee. I could see the steam rising from it and he handed me a cup.
"Um...thanks, but I don't drink coffee."
"I figured, that's why yours is hot chocolate" he laughed, his attention going back to the computer screen.
"Remember the files I told you I saw on her desk? The ones she was looking in?" I looked up and he nodded in confirmation. "Well turns out our new sub broke into the principals office and took student files."
"What is she doing with those?" Charlie said this quietly, almost as if he were talking to himself. His brows knitted together in concentration.
"Did we find anything in her background?" I asked.
"No, nothing but parking tickets...wait. There was a burglary reported in her apartment building a couple months ago when she was still in Seattle. Never solved. Everyone in the building was questioned but nothing turned up."
"You should call Renee and have her check into it some more."
He nodded. "You should head to bed, you still have to go to school in the morning."
"Who could sleep now?"
He gave me a look that basically meant me staying up too late and skipping school tomorrow was entirely out of the question.
Reluctantly, I left the basement and headed up to my bed, where I lay awake for another half hour. A 2 am I finally decided to do something I never did. I deliberately took cold medicine and was out within minutes.
~oO*Oo~
I was on high alert the next morning when I pulled into the parking lot. I needed to figure out which files Victoria had been looking at and WHY?
Charlie had told me that morning that they were doing another background check on Victoria and that they would be monitoring her more closely.
I didn't say it to him but I would be too.
I was so wrapped up in my own thoughts that I wasn't paying attention to where I was going and ran into a wall. Well not a wall actually, it was a person.
"Whoa Bella!" a masculine voice said catching me by the waist before I had a chance to fall to the ground, which was good because it had rained recently and the grass was muddy.
I looked up and saw Garrett's blue eyes staring back down at me. They were squinted in the corners and he was smiling down at me, trying to hold back a laugh.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw Edward standing there staring at us.
I wasn't sure what possessed me but I wanted to hurt him like I had been hurt they day before when I saw him and Tanya together.
"Is my presence that daunting that you trip whenever I'm around? Or do just like to make me catch you?"
I would have thought he was insulting me if it hadn't been for the twinkle in his eyes that told me he was joking.
"I like to keep my leading men on their toes" I told him smiling back. I noticed that he still hadn't released my waist as we stared at each other for a few more seconds.
"Thanks" I told him when the silence started to become too much for me.
Garrett let go and too a small step back, still staring into my eyes. "Can I walk you to class?" he asked.
"Sure, I just need to stop at my locker first."
Garrett stepped aside and began to follow me down the hall to my locker.
I noticed people were staring at us and I wondered why? I mean sure I didn't look like I just stepped out off of the Paris runway, but I didn't look like a hobo or anything.
Garrett was gorgeous, definitely one of the best looking guys in the school, aside from Edward, Emmett, and Jasper, so I brushed it off as them staring at him.
"So how have you been?" he asked as I placed my books from the night before into my locker. "I haven't seen you much outside of rehearsal."
"Good, just busy with school stuff...trying to catch up on stuff you learned last semester, ya know?" He nodded.
"Do you wanna come over tonight and work on lines?"
I was a little surprised by his proposal but this would be the perfect time to check out where he lived and see if I could find out more about him.
"Sure" I told him enthusiastically, "is it ok with your parents?" I knew that he was an emancipated minor but I wanted to see what he would tell me. The truth or a lie?
"Oh no they won't care. They won't be home anyway." he smiled as the lie slipped easily from his lips.
My stomach clenched, but not in the same way it did when I was around Edward. This was from the unease of how easily he lied to me about his parents. I would definitely be snooping around tonight.
We arrived at the gym and right before I went inside Garrett leaned in and kissed me lightly on the cheek. "See you later beautiful" he winked at me and then headed off to his class.
I could feel the blush on my cheeks as I walked in the door and noticed my other classmates were sitting on the bleachers in their regular clothes. I spotted Jane a few rows back and went to join her.
"Why aren't we dressing out?" I whispered to Jane.
"I don't know. I got her early and there was a sign on the locker room door that said not to change."
I shrugged and looked towards where our teacher was setting up a screen. There was also a projector on one of those rolling carts that the library had. On the cart was a stack of papers and a dvd. I squinted trying to see what the Dvd was about. My eyes widened in shock and I whispered, "Oh no!"
"What?" Jane asked turning to me.
"Sex ed" I barely got out. I felt my face flame a bright red. I thought that kids having to learn about this stuff was only in movies, but no it was actually happening to me. Of course they taught us this sort of stuff at Buxley but with our teachers teaching the material under the premise of human anatomy it wasn't nearly as mortifying as it would be in a gym class.
"Huh?" Jane asked again. I couldn't believe I was going to have to repeat myself, I thought I would die of embarrassment.
"You'll see" I told her instead.
"Oook" she said drawing out the "O" and giving me a look like I was a crazy person about to start going off on a tantrum.
Edward and Tanya walked in as our gym teacher started to speak. Luckily they sat on the front row but I noticed Edward turn around and search the bleachers behind him. His eyes landed on me and I looked away quickly. I knew I had no right to be angry with him and if I was honest with myself I wasn't. I was hurt. I thought that he liked me, we had chemistry that was undeniable, but in the end it wasn't enough. He chose Tanya, not me and I knew I needed to get past that and try to form a friendship with him so that I could do my job.
"Today we are going to be watching a sex education video." Our teacher held up his hands are groans broke out around the room. "I know, I know guys. I don't want to sit through this anymore than you do but it's required by the state so just be quiet and watch it ok?" He turned and started the movie and then went to his office.
I tried to pay attention but when you've been trained all your life to notice the little details I found myself paying more attention to my classmates than to the video.
I noticed that Jessica was flirting with Mike Newton. Ugh. I still couldn't stand that guy, I tried my best to ignore him but the guy could not take a hint. He still hit on me in biology and would sit way too close to me but I always kept my cool my reminding myself that I could kick his butt without breaking a sweat.
A few girls were texting and most of the boys were half asleep.
I noticed that Edward kept glancing back in my direction. What was up with him today? He was acting so strange.
~oO*Oo~
By the time free period rolled around I was about to blow my cover just to throw Edward against a wall. I kept catching him looking at me throughout English, and it was starting to make me uncomfortable.
Like the previous day I went to the music room, only today I didn't have my song notebook to work from so I just played around on the piano.
I found myself playing a song from one of my favorite movies and started to sing.
There's a song that's inside of my soul,
It's the one that I've tried to write over and over again
I'm awake in the infinite cold
But you sing to me over and over and over again
So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours
I pray, to be only yours I know now you're my only hope
Sing to me the song of the stars
Of your galaxy dancing and laughing and laughing again
When it feels my dreams are so far
Sing to me of the plans that you have for over again
So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands and pr-
The sound of a music stand falling to floor alerted me to another persons presence.
I turned quickly, standing up from the piano bench.
Edward was bent over retrieving the fallen stand.
"Uh...sorry." he said walking towards me. "A Walk to Remember huh?"
"Yeah. It's one of my favorites"
"You sounded great, better than Mandy Moore" He said with a smile.
"I highly doubt that" I said returning his smile, "but thanks."
He walked up to the piano and sat down. "Do you know this one?"
He started playing the chorus to a familiar tune and I almost laughed.
"Yes, but I'm surprised you know it."
"Sing?" he asked, and because it was another song that I loved I couldn't say no.
Everybody needs inspiration
Everybody needs a song
A beautiful melody, when the nights are long
Cause there is no guarantee, that this life is easy
Yeah when my world is falling apart
Edward started to harmonize with me and I loved the way our voices blended together. It was so easy to be with him when we were like this. Surrounded by music.
When there's no light to break up the dark
Thats when I, I, I look at you
When the waves are flooding the shore and I can't find my way home anymore
That's when I, I, I looked at you
I sang the next verse alone and Edward joined in again for the chorus.
You appear just like a dream to me
Just like kaleidoscope colors that cover me, all I need, every breath that I breathe
Don't you know you're beautiful
I looked at Edward while I sang, he was smiling. I hadn't seen him smile like that any other time than when we were playing together.
You appear just like a dream to me
"I could listen to you sing all day" he told me as the last notes drifted in the air around us. The atmosphere had become so intense, just like the previous week in the auditorium. We were staring at each other again. I was under his spell, and I had to find a way to break out of it. I took a deep breath to regain my senses and smirked at him.
"Better than Miley Cyrus?" I teased trying to lighten the mood.
To my relief he laughed too. "Definitely better than Miley Cyrus."
We laughed together and I was about to ask him what was up with his behavior earlier when he pulled something from his back pocket.
"I found this on the floor after class yesterday" he said gingerly handing me the item. It was my notebook.
I snatched it quickly. Oh my goodness! This could NOT be happening, the one person who I NEVER wanted to see what was inside was the one who found it. Had he read it? Who am I kidding of course he did. Who wouldn't? I was mortified as all these thoughts passed through my mind.
I felt like the silence between us had been dragging on for an eternity when in actuality it was only about a minute.
"Did you read it?" I asked half defensive and have worried.
"No" he answered, looking into my eyes. "I always see you scribbling in it and knew who's it was. I didn't need to look in it."
"Oh. Well thank you." I told him looking at the notebook clutched in my lap. "Most people would have read it."
"I'm not most people, Bella. I'm not as bad of a person as you seem to think"
I looked up at him in shock.
"I don't think you're a bad person. Arrogant, pompous, annoying at times, but you're not a bad person."
"Gee thanks" he said, sarcasm filled his tone. "So why have you been avoiding me for the past two days?"
I didn't know how to answer that. What was I suppose to tell him, oh no reason you just broke my heart into a million little pieces so I couldn't stand to even look at you? Yeah, I didn't see that conversation going over very smoothly. So instead I did what I did best. I lied.
"I wasn't avoiding you, I've just had a lot on my mind, with school and the play" It was the same excuse I'd given Alice and he seemed to buy it.
His mood shifted and his eyebrows knitted together in concentration. Then just as quickly his face was a mask of indifference.
"Ok." he said. He stood up from the piano and walked towards the door. "You coming to lunch today?" he extended his hand to me.
"Yeah" I stood up and walked towards him but didn't take his hand. We walked side by side down the hall. We were so close and I wanted so badly to take his hand. I had wanted to take it in the music room but I knew that I couldn't. He was with Tanya, he was my charge. So instead I settled into memorizing the electricity that flowed between us as we went and joined our friends for lunch.
By the time we reached the cafeteria all of our friends were at our usual table.
I had packed a lunch, because frankly the stuff they served at school was crap, so I headed straight for our friends while Edward went to the lunch line.
When I sat down I noticed Emmett and Jasper smirking at me, Alice looking at me suspiciously and Tanya giving me a death glare. Rosalie wasn't paying attention to anyone at the table as she fiddled away on her phone.
I stared back at Tanya and raised my eyebrows slightly, giving her a look that said 'is there a problem?'
She continued to glare at me and after a minute I decided to ask.
"Is something wrong Tanya?" I asked her pointedly, with an innocent tone.
Everyone who had previously been looking at me with mixed expressions turned to face Tanya now.
"Actually there is."
I kept looking at her, waiting for her to continue.
"I don't appreciate you making moves on my boyfriend, he is obviously not interested in someone like YOU." she put an emphasis on the word 'you'.
Inside I was shocked, I mean yea, I kinda sorta liked Edward, but I had been good about hiding my feelings. I kept a cool face when I answered her.
"Gee, Tanya, you must be really insecure of your relationship if me walking into the cafeteria with Edward makes you think I'm flirting."
"I am not jealous of you" she seethed, her face turning red.
"Really?"
"I have nothing to be jealous about!" she shouted. "I am the hottest shit in this school and Edward is lucky to be with me! Why would he want some mousy nobody like you!"
At this point most of the lunch room was looking over at our quarrel. I tried really hard to hide my laughter, because she was acting like a five year old who was just told she couldn't be a princess when she grows up.
"What's going on?" a melodic voice asked from behind me.
"Oh, Edward!" Tanya cried, launching herself into his arms, almost knocking his tray onto me, which I suspect was on purpose. "Bella is being so horrible to me! I was just trying to be nice to her since we got off on such a bad foot." She looked up from his shoulders and smirked at me then glared at everyone else as if daring them to say she was lying.
It was silent for a moment and I tried to regain my voice to deny what Tanya was saying.
"Actually, Tanya is being a jealous raging bitch, as usual," a voice from my other side said in a bored tone. I was surprised by the voice. Rosalie. "I really don't know why you took her back."
Tanya's mouth dropped in shock as did half the tables. I turned to Rosalie with wide eyes, but she was still staring down at her cell phone. I noticed Emmett trying to hold back his laughter but was failing. He tried to cover it with a fake cough that was apparently contagious because Jasper and Alice both starting coughing too.
"Y-y-you! How dare you?" Tanya cried.
Rosalie finally looked up from the phone. She gave Tanya a steely glare that I swear would have scared Hitler if he had ever seen it. "What? I'm just telling the truth, something you are obviously unfamiliar with." Then she turned her attention to Edward. "Look if you're gonna date her don't bring her around anymore, her drama gives me headaches. Bella?" she turned to me suddenly.
"Uh..yea?" I was a little scared of what she was going to say to me.
"I'm helping with the costumes for the play so I need to get your measurements."
"Huh?" I asked. That was sooo not where I thought her question was going to go.
"I need to take your measurements. Come on." she stood up and strode out of the room without looking back. There was no question in my mind that I was suppose to follow. I grabbed my trash and threw it away on my way after Rose. I didn't even eat any, but suddenly my appetite was gone.
I caught up to Rose outside the auditorium. The theatre room and dressing rooms were on the backside of the stage.
"Thank you" I said to her quietly.
"Oh that? Don't worry about it. None of us can stand Tanya and there is no way I'm gonna sit by and let her talk trash about my friend."
"Friend?"
"Well yeah." She stopped suddenly and turned to face me. "I may not be the overly affectionate type like Alice but I do actually like you. You're the first girl in this school to stand up to Edward, other than me and Alice of course." she told me with a grin.
I gave her a small smile in return and suddenly our moment of touchy-feelyness was over.
"But seriously, I do have to take your measurements, so strip." Rose commanded.
"Strip?" I squeaked.
"Strip", she repeated. "I am not going to be altering these clothes so the sizing has to be perfect."
I did as she said and Rose took my measurements. By the time we were done it was time for sixth period.
Edward and I didn't talk about the incident in the lunchroom and instead focused one our individual performances coming up on friday. I was glad for that actually. I needed to get a grip on my feelings to for Edward and I felt that in order to do that I needed space. Wow did I sound like a freaking cliché or what? Fate however seemed to have an alternative plan.
My plan was to make sure that I spent minimal amounts of time with Edward alone and to try to always be with someone else, that way I wouldn't do anything stupid, like jump him or throw him into the wall and kiss him.
My plan hit a massive brick wall in biology that day. Edward and Jasper were goofing off while Mr. Banner was going over instructions for the dissections. I had zoned out during most of his introduction to the "fascinating world of dissections" and was contemplating "accidentally" cutting Mike's hand so he would have to go to the nurse for the rest of class. I probably would have done it too if I wasn't so queasy around blood. My thoughts were interrupted when Mr. Banner stopped his droning and called out.
"Mr. Masen, Mr. Whitlock, dissections are a serious thing, you are going to be working with knives. Mr. Masen switch seats with Mr. Newton."
"But-" Mike started to protest but one look from Mr. Banner silenced him. He begrudgingly gathered his books and moved back to sit beside Jasper. Jasper just glared at him, and Edward smirked at me as he slid into the now vacant seat beside me.
I stared down studiously at the page of directions on the table.
~oO*Oo~
Somehow I made it through the rest of the school day and before I knew it, it was time for play practice.
We were practicing the dance for "Tale as Old as Time" and while it was easy enough I had to pretend to be bad at it. I stepped on Garrett's feet and tripped over my own. After about an hour of it we took a break.
"Sorry about your feet" I told Garrett as we got some water.
"Eh don't worry about it, nothing a little ice won't fix" he smiled at me, and I could tell he wasn't just saying that to make me feel better, it really was ok. "Maybe you should just stand on my feet during the performances" he teased.
"If I don't improve Ms. Jones might actually take you up on that offer." I said with a laugh.
The rest of rehearsal went smoothly, mostly because it was spent blocking and running scenes, no dancing required.
~oO*Oo~
A few days later I was bombarded by Rose and Alice as soon as I stepped out of my truck.
"Bella! What are you doing Friday night?" Alice asked me grabbing my arm and dragging me towards a picnic table.
"Um...nothing?" it came out more like a question.
"Well Emmett is having the guys over, so I decided that we would have a sleepover!" Alice squealed. "You'll come right!"
"Uh...sure"
"Oh goody! I'm gonna go find Jane." Alice raced off towards the building leaving me alone with Rose.
"Should I be worried?" I asked her.
"Absolutely" she smirked. "Make sure to bring a bathing suit, Alice and Emmett have a hot tub."
"Oh, uh, ok" I said dumbly.
"You do have a bikini right?"
"Well I do, but they're in Arizona. I didn't think I would need them here."
"I've got one you can borrow" she told me.
I looked her up and down then down to my own chest.
Rose noticed my eyes and laughed. "Don't worry it's from my freshman year when my boobs were smaller, it'll fit fine"
"Ok thanks Rose"
We parted ways and headed to class.
~oO*Oo~
By Friday morning I was anxious and nervous.
Have you ever woken up and just known that it was going to be one of those days? Yeah that's how I felt. I couldn't put my finger on it exactly but I could tell something big was going to happen today. I tried to chalk it up to nerves about having to perform my solo today.
All too soon it was time for sixth period. I sat in the back didn't volunteer to go. There were fifteen minutes of class left and four people left to go. Guess there's no getting out of this today. I thought to myself. Everyone who had gone did amazing, performing songs from a variety of genres. One girl even did a korean pop song that she had recreated on garageband.
"Edward, you're up" Ms. Jones said looking down at her roster. After people stopped volunteering she had started going down the role and calling people out.
Edward walked up to the piano and I was really curious to see what song he had chosen. He wouldn't tell me, but in all fairness I wouldn't tell him mine either.
Over the past couple of weeks I was learning more and more about Edward Masen and most of it had nothing to do with my assignment. It was the stuff that people never think to put into reports because why would an agent care about how he expresses his feelings through music or the fact that he put on a cool front around strangers but to his friends he was like sunshine-he radiated warmth when he was with his friends. I had come to learn how he looked when something was bothering him and that he was as stubborn as a mule. When his mind was made up nothing could change it, and that included his opinions about people. He reminded me of Mr. Darcy when he tells Elizabeth "My good opinion once lost, is lost forever" though I would never tell him that. If I did he would laugh in my face and call me a sap for quoting the book.
He sat down at the piano and started to play. I knew the song immediately, it was one of my favorites and it reminded me of the day we sat in here and sang.
Beauty queen of only eighteen
She had some trouble with herself
He was always there to help her
She always belonged to someone else
I drove for miles and mile and wound up at your door
I've had you so many times but somehow I want more
I don't mind spending every day
Out on your corner in the pouring rain, oh
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay a while
And she will be loved, and she will be loved
Edward looked up from the piano and stared at me. I looked away quickly. I felt his eyes flickering back to mine throughout the song, but I kept mine on my hands that were messing with the edge of my shirt.
When had I become so fidgety? This wasn't like me at all. I wasn't the girl who backed down when people stared at me, I stared back until they looked away. I was a strong person, both physically and emotionally. If I could handle three hours of intensive fight training at Buxley I could look at a boy. Finally during the last chorus I looked up and met Edward's eyes.
...Look for the girl with a broken smile,
Ask her if she wants to stay a while
And she will be loved, she will be loved
And she will be loved, she will be loved
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, oooh
Oooh ohh, tried so hard to say goodbye
It felt like the world stopped spinning. I stopped breathing and it was like Edward and I were in our own little bubble. I wasn't sure if he felt it too, but I hoped he did. I would never be able to admit to him how he affected me, partly because it would only complicate my job and partly because I was afraid of his response. What would I do if he laughed at me and told me it was all in my head. I think that would hurt worse than never admitting my feelings at all.
Finally it was my turn. I took a deep breath and grabbed my guitar. I walked to the chair in the front of the room and sat down. Edward was sitting slightly to my left but thankfully I could only see him through my periphery.
Drink up baby doll
Are you in or are you out?
I started to sing, looking down at the guitar as I plucked at the strings.
Leave your things behind
'Cause it's all going off without you
Excuse me too busy you're writing your tragedy
These mishaps, you bubble-wrap
When you've no idea what you're like
I could feel his eyes on my as I sang. I could feel the electricity that was always there. The thing that I wanted so desperately but couldn't have.
So, let go, let go, jump in
Oh well, what you waiting for?
It's all right, 'cause there's beauty in the breakdown
So, let go, let go, just get in
Oh, it's so amazing here
It's all right, 'cause there's beauty in the breakdown
It gains the more it gives, and then it rises with the fall
So hand me that remote, can't you see that all that stuff's a sideshow?
Such boundless pleasure, we've no time for later
Now you can't await, your own arrival
you've twenty seconds to comply
I tried to put all my emotion into the song, all my frustration and despair into the words.
So, let go, so let go, jump in
Oh well, what you waiting for?
It's alright, 'cause there's beauty in the breakdown
So, let go, yeah let go, just get in
Oh, it's so amazing here
It's all right, 'cause there's beauty in the breakdown
So, let go, jump in
Oh well, what you waiting for?
It's alright, 'cause there's beauty in the breakdown
So, let go, yeah let go
Just get in
Oh, it's so amazing here
It's all right, 'cause there's beauty in the breakdown, in the breakdown
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown, the breakdown
I finally looked up from the guitar and shifted my eyes slightly and saw Edward with a look of concentration and confusion on his face, as if he was trying to figure out a difficult math problem.
So amazing here, 'cause there's beauty in the breakdown
When I was done it was silent for a moment and I saw tears brimming in Ms. Jones eyes.
The bell rang and I stood up quickly and headed out the door grabbing my bag from the floor in one fluid motion without breaking my stride.
I didn't look back even though I could hear Edward calling after me. I walked out to my truck, there was no way I was going to biology. I didn't think I could do it, sit beside him and be that close when my emotions felt so raw at the moment.
When I got back to the house Charlie wasn't there, not that I had expected him to be, it was the middle of the day after all.
I decided to go for a run.
I grabbed my ipod and phone and took off down the road. Before I knew it, I was running alongside the creek that ran through the Masen's property. I knew I shouldn't have been there, it was technically trespassing but I couldn't seem to explain the sense of calmness I felt. It was like I was close to Edward without having to be physically close to him. I thought back to a conversation we had earlier in the week.
We were sitting in the auditorium during free period. Emmett was on his phone playing angry birds, his new addiction, while Edward and I were actually having a pleasant conversation. A rarity in our friendship.
We were playing a game of would you rather.
"Ok my turn" I said "Would you rather, lose a foot or a hand"
"That's like asking if I would rather have food or water!" he exclaimed.
"Too bad you have to pick or you have to give me a really good reason why you shouldn't lose either"
"If I lost my hand then I couldn't play the piano or guitar-"
"Or video games" I interjected.
"Emmett would be the one having a problem about not being able to play video games, no me." he laughed. It was such a beautiful sound, maybe my favorite sound in the world.
"For me music has always been a great way to express myself because I'm not the most social person."
"Yeah right, you're the golden boy of the school, everyone loves you"
"Everyone?" he asked so quietly I wasn't sure he meant for me to hear it. "When I was younger I didn't have many friends. It was hard to figure out who like me for me and who only liked me for my stuff."
I had never thought about it like that, how hard it would be to not know whether someone liked you for you or for what you could do for them.
"So you'd rather lose the foot?" I asked trying to erase the frown line that had formed on his face as he recalled his childhood.
"No" he said in a strong clear voice. "If I lost my foot I wouldn't be able to run"
I looked at him, waiting for further explanation. Edward got the hint and continued.
"My parents went through a rough patch about 5 years ago, my dad cheated, and him and my mom were constantly fighting. When it got bad I would go running. I always ended up by the creek, it made me feel calm and it was quiet." he took a deep breath and said "Running is how I deal with stress, so if I lost a foot and couldn't do that I'd probably go crazy." he gave me a small smile as he said 'crazy'.
I stared at him, at the sincerity on his face and in his words. I had uncovered yet another layer to Edward Masen, one that I guessed most people didn't get to see.
"Well Mr. Masen, I think you get keep your hand and your foot" I said returning his smile.
As I stared at the slow moving water I understood exactly what he meant. It was incredibly calming.
My phone chose that moment to ring, breaking me from my thoughts.
"Hey Alice" I said holding the phone away from my ear slightly because I was sweating like a pig.
"Where are you!"
"What do you mean? Oh! The sleep over! Crap, I forgot, um I'm running but I'll head home now to shower and then I'll head over."
"Fine." I could hear the pout in her voice. "But hurry, we're all waiting on you."
We? I wondered but didn't ask.
Alice hung up and I headed back, leaving the creek behind but taking the peace it had given me home.
~oO*Oo~
I arrived at Alice's a half hour later. My hair was still wet but at least I didn't stink anymore.
The Cullen's house was beautiful. I almost missed the driveway that was surrounded by trees. The large white house sat in the middle of an open meadow, it reminded me of the house Noah rebuilds for Allie in The Notebook.
Alice met me at the door and pulled me in and straight up the stairs to her bedroom. It was girlieness personified. It was pink and frilly but somehow it was still chic. Very Alice.
Her room was about the size of my living room and that was just the part where she slept. There was a king sized covered with a white comforter decorated with black and pink flowers. There were about 8 matching pillows and a chaise lounge at the foot of her bed. The furniture was sleek black and the carpet a spotless white. There was a bay window cut into the wall opposite where I stood with a window seat.
There was a nightstand on each side of the bed with tall silver lamps on top.
Directly across from the bed and to my right was a large armoire filled with a flat-screen tv and dvd player. There was a door on the other side of that which I knew led to the bathroom and closet.
Looking at blueprints of how big someone's house is and actually being inside of it were two different things, let me tell you.
Rosalie was sitting on the bed already reading a magazine. She didn't look up as we walked in but waved a hand in acknowledgement.
The ihome on Alice's nightstand was blaring Ke$ha and the tv across from her bed was turned muted on some cake decorating show.
Alice plopped down beside Rose looked up to me. I was still standing awkwardly in the doorway.
"You know you can come in right Bella?" she asked with a laugh.
I broke out of my awe induced trance and walked into the room.
"Will you close the door?" Alice asked me.
Rose finished looking at whatever it was she had been reading and reached down on the other side of the bed. She threw a dark blue piece of cloth at me and I caught it easily. I held it up and realized it wasn't a rag, like I had thought, but a bikini.
"Go change so we can swim" Alice said pointing to the bathroom door.
As I walked into the bathroom I was awestruck again. It was entirely decorated in sleek black and white marble. There was a large jacuzzi bathtub in one corner and a steam shower next to that. The vanity held an enormous mirror and on the black marble countertop filled with various cosmetics. It was organized chaos, messy and yet somehow neat at the same time.
I changed into the swim suit and looked at myself in the full length mirror that was hanging on the wall. The suit wasn't too big on my chest which was good because while I knew I wasn't the chestiest person ever I didn't need that fact accentuated by my bikini being too big. I threw my t-shirt on top and walked back out into the bedroom.
Alice and Rose were standing by the door waiting on me and together we walked down the hall and headed to the backyard.
The yard was as beautiful as the rest of the house, or at least the small part I had seen. The sun had recently set and soft white christmas lights were strung around the patio area. There were a couple of flood lights on that illuminated the yard and pool areas and I could see flowers everywhere.
"Finally! Took you girls long enough" A loud voice boomed from the far end of the patio. We headed over to where the hot tub was and Emmett stood up out of the water to help Rose, Alice, and me into the bubbling water.
Jasper kissed Alice as she settled in next to him and Emmett wrapped his arm around Rose's shoulders.
I sat awkwardly feeling like a fifth wheel. At least this can't get any worse, I thought to myself.
Oh how wrong I was. No sooner had I finished that thought I saw Edward walk through the back door with a paper bag in his hand. He walked over and set the bag on a table before stripping down to swim trunks.
He hopped in next to me splashing water everywhere.
"He watched it! You're gonna get my hair wet" Rose cried.
In response Edward flicked water at her face. She scowled at him and Emmett leaned forward and hit Edward in the arm.
"So whose up for a game of truth or dare!" Alice squealed suddenly. Rose and the guys nodded their heads in approval. Alice looked at me expectantly and I shrugged.
"Sure, why not?"
"Same rules as usual?" Rose asked.
Emmett jumped out of the pool and grabbed some shot glasses and the bag Edward had placed on the table before climbing back in.
"It's really more like truth or truth, no one ever really comes up with good dares. If you curse you take a shot, if you lie and someone catches you, you take a shot, and if you don't complete your dare you take a shot. Also, if you pick truth you don't have to answer the question but you have to kiss the person who asked the question and then take a penalty shot." Rose said explaining to me their rules.
This was going to be interesting to say the least.
Alice was first, she chose Emmett.
"Bring it, sis" he said grinning.
"Ok, what's the worst thing you ever ate?" she asked triumphantly.
Personally I thought it was a boring question, until I saw Emmett grimace at her and Rose glare at Emmett.
"Rose's macaroni" he mumbled and flinched away from Rose's hand at she slapped him.
"EMMETT! How dare you!" Rose shrieked, "my cooking is not THAT bad."
Jasper and Edward were trying to suppress their laughter while Alice let it out in a fit of giggles. I tried my hardest not to give in but after about a minute of Rose scolding Emmett I couldn't help myself.
"Thanks a lot Alice" Emmett grumbled and then turned to me, "Watch it Bella or I'm giving you my share next time Rose cooks."
That shut me and the others up quickly. I for one did not want to try Rose's cooking after the looks on the others faces.
It was Emmett's turn to ask a question.
"Edward, why did you and Tanya get back together?"
There was silence in the hot tub and I assumed like myself everyone was holding their breath for the answer.
"Fuck you" Edward growled.
"Oh curse word! Take a shot Edward!" Alice called.
"I'm gonna need more than one fucking shot for this"
"That's two" Japser said handing him a second shot glass.
Edward chucked them back like a pro and then moved towards Emmett.
"Hey what are yo-" He was cut off as Edward leaned in and kissed his cheek.
Rose and Alice shrieked in laughter, and Emmett just sat there in shock.
When he finally recovered he shouted at Edward, "Dude! That wasn't even a hard question!" he wiped his cheek dramatically.
Edward shrugged and then turned to me, "Bella, why did you really move here?"
Crap! I was so busted. It's not like I could tell the truth, but then again they would never know that I was lying so I stuck to my cover story.
"I wanted to spend time with my dad" I said simply.
"No way, not possible."
"Why not?" I asked getting slightly defensive.
"There is no way that anyone in their right mind would leave Phoenix to come to a place with no sun and more rain than lake Michigan."
"Well it's the truth" I stared defiantly into his eyes.
"I think it's nice she wants to be closer to her dad" Jasper, bless him, interceded.
We continued playing and I learned a lot about my new friends. Alice and Jasper first had sex in her room during a christmas party- That news did not go over well with Emmett- Emmett wanted to be a professional stunt man, Rose planned on becoming the first female Indy 500 winner.
"Bella, do you have a hidden talent?" Jasper asked me.
"Um..." I had a few actually. I was racking my brain trying to figure out one I could share that wouldn't be too out there and give me away, when I suddenly spotted a large round net a few yards away in the darkened grass.
"Is that a trampoline?" I asked Alice.
She looked out into the yard and then back to me,"Yeah, why?"
"Turn on another light" I told her climbing out of the hot tub and drying myself off with a towel. One of my favorite activities at Buxley had been our gym/training center. There were wires to learn flips, as well as bars and spring floors like they had in gymnastics training centers and of course my favorite thing, the trampolines.
I climbed up on and and bounced a few times when a bright light suddenly illuminated the area surrounding me.
I could barely make out the faces of my friends in the hot tub but I knew they were looking at me curiously.
I bounced a few more times before jumping hight and doing a back tuck landing on my feet and bouncing again. I jumped a few more times and then did two back flips before landing.
It was exhilarating tumbling again. I forgot where I was momentarily and started to do a routine I had made up in eighth grade. I did a back hand spring, then front handspring back handspring, back tuck. then three standing fulls in a row. It wasn't until I heard clapping and whistling that I remembered where I was. Dang it!
I really needed to learn to be more careful.
I climbed off the trampoline and headed back to my friends.
"Holy shit Bella!"
"Shot" Rose commanded handed her one.
"That was amazing! Where did you learn to do all that?"
"Um I did gymnastics when I was younger"
"You, a gymnast?" Edward asked suspiciously. "Aren't you a bit clumsy for that?"
Instead of answering him I turned and did a round of back hand spring full into the grass. It was actually pretty simple if you knew what you were doing and had the muscle to twist yourself in the air, which thankfully I did.
I landed perfectly and as I walked back over said to Edward, "You'll catch flies like that" pointing to his opened mouth.
Emmett laughed loudly at that.
Right as I was reaching when the lawn ended and the patio began I tripped, falling to my knees. This caused a round of laughter from everyone, especially Edward.
"Shit!" I said as I stood up.
"Drink!" Emmett called and held out a glass to me.
"Yeah right the police chiefs daughter probably doesn't drink, do you princess?" Edward asked me sarcastically. If only he knew, but I had to admit it was ironic for me to be breaking the law. Oh well, not like it was the first time right?
I took the drink from Emmett and stared Edward straight in the eyes as I downed the clear liquid.
"Fuck!" I said choking "What the hell is that?"
"That's two more!"
"Shit"
"Three"
I held my tongue and took my shots. I was feeling a little tipsy at that point. I didn't normally drink and whatever it was it was strong.
"What is that?" I asked after I had climbed back into the tub.
"Russian Vodka, courtesy of Edward Masen Sr."
"It's definitely strong"
The next thing I knew we were back in the house and Alice had her ipod plugged into the sound system in the basement.
The basement was a huge open room with a projector screen television, a mini bar, and a pool table. There was large black leather furniture in the middle of the room and spaced evenly on the walls were speakers.
Alice pulled me off the bar stool and dragged me over in front of the tv where her and Rose were currently dancing. Emmett and Jasper were playing pool and Edward was making another drink at the bar. It was a wonder he wasn't falling on his butt by now. I had only had about 5 shots and a mixed drink and I was drunk.
Rose walked over and changed the song, and soon familiar notes were coming through the sound system.
Alice squealed and her and Rose started to sing together.
I think I did it again
I made you believe, we're more than just friends
Oh baby, it might seem like a crush, but it doesn't mean that I'm serious
I laughed and joined in with them and we sang through a few different Britney Spears songs. We tried to do some synchronized choreography, but when you're as drunk as we were it didn't work out so well, even though Alice and Rose were cheerleaders.
There was a drink in my hand and I was scrolling through Alice's ipod for another song. When I found the one I wanted I hit play and waited for the music to start.
Yooo I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want
So tell me what you want, what you really really want
I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want
So tell me what you want, what you really really want
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna,
I really really really really wanna zigazig ah
I grabbed Edward by the arm as I spun around singing and pushed him down onto the couch.
If you want my future forget my past
If you wanna get with me better make it fast
Now don't go wasting my precious time
Get your act together we could be just fine
Alice, Rose, and I stood in a line. Rose on my right and Alice on the right. We were taking turns singing the lines and moving around and for three drunk girls I have to say we were doing pretty good. I guess more alcohol was making us better dancers.
I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want
So tell me what you want, what you really really want
We started to jump as we yelled the next part and our drinks were spilling onto our hands and the floor, good thing it was wood.
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really
Really really wanna zigazig ha
If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends
Make it last forever friendship never ends
If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give
Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is
I sang the next part and noticed Edward's eyes were following my every more. Feeling bold from the vodka and whatever else was in my drink I decided to flirt with him a little,
Now what you think about that now you know how I feel
Say you can handle my love are you for real
I walked up and ran my finger down his chest before turning and walking back to my place in line.
I won't be hasty, I'll give you a try
If you really bug me then I'll say goodbye
We sang the chorus again and then Alice jumped into the middle and started rapping. I laughed and moved my hand up and down in beat with her words.
So here's a story from a to z, you wanna get with me
You gotta listen carefully
We got em in the place who likes it in your face
We got g like mc who likes it on an
Easy v doesn't come for free, she's a real lady
And as for me you'll see
Slam your body down and wind it all around
Slam your body down and wind it all around
We all started to move our hips and circles and laughed together. The guys had huge grins on their faces as they watched us.
If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends
Make it last forever friendship never ends
If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give
Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is
Emmett got up and started to dance behind Rose while Alice walked over to Jasper and pulled him off the couch. I stood up on the coffee table and started to dance, moving my arms and waist.
If you wanna be my lover, you gotta, you gotta, you gotta
You gotta, you gotta, slam, slam, slam, slam
Slam your body down and wind it all around
Slam your body down and wind it all around
Slam your body down and wind it all around
Slam your body down zigazig ah
If you wanna be my lover
We all collapsed on the floor from exhaustion.
Emmett leaned down and picked Rose up off the floor. "You know what I want, what I really really want?" he asked giving her a wink
"I know what you really, really want" she said laughing and kissing him.
Emmett, still carrying Rose headed upstairs to do god only knows what and personally I didn't want to know.
I turned and saw that Alice and Japser had disappeared as well, leaving me alone downstairs with Edward.
Feeling suddenly nervous and thirsty I headed over to the bar to get a drink.
I could feel his eyes on me and I tried to steady my breathing.
"Bella" his voice sounded from right behind me and I spun to face him. He was inches away from me and he put his arms on either side of me forcing me to back up against the bar.
"That was incredibly sexy, you are a great dancer" he slurred slightly.
His eyes darkened as he looked me up and down. It was at that point I remembered I was still in my bikini and he was in his swim trunks.
"I really want to kiss you right now" he whispered moving even closer to me.
"Really?" I asked just as breathless and lost in the electricity that was surrounding us.
"Really" he told me. He looked into my eyes, then down to my lips, then back. His silently asking mine for permission. I gave it to him, whole-heartedly. Consequences be damned. Tonight I was going to be a hormonal teenage girl and kiss the boy I liked. He seemed to understand my answer and as he leaned in he whispered to me.
"Thus, from my lips, by thine, my sin in purged"
I felt a fire blaze up inside of me as our lips met. It started as a gentle kiss and quickly evolved into one of passion and desire.
I reached my hand behind Edward's neck and pulled him towards me. Molding my body into his. His arms reached around my waist and held me tightly. We continued to kiss and his hands traveled down and gripped my hips, lifting me onto the counter behind me. One of my hands tangled itself into his hair and the other held his shoulder. I started to lean back pulling him with me when I felt a glass fall behind me.
A/N: Yay another chapter! Sorry it took so long to get it up, it's the end of the school year for me and anyone who is in college or who has already been, knows how that is. Last minute projects, exams, ect. all before finals which are next week. So I hope you enjoyed it, I'll try to post again next week because I did leave you guys with a cliff hanger. So please review, let me know what you think! Also please bear with me as far as format goes, I'm still trying to find one that I like as far as breaks in between scenes and lyrics. Thanks again for reading 3 Accident-prone Klutz