Chapter 5: So Near Yet So Far

Santana sat fidgeting in her car, barely noticing the noise of the pounding rain. She was staring intently at the exit of her high school, waiting for her blonde. Breathing is quickly becoming a hard task and Santana was beginning to wonder why the hell she let Quinn talk her into doing this. Instead of cursing her (because she really did owe her), Santana tried to remember why she consented.

Is she ready? Far from it. Miles and miles away from it.

Does she want to? Don't know.

Does she have a plan? She wishes.

Is she crazy? Yeah. Probably.

Is she willing to let Brittany walk under the raging storm, alone, cold, fragile, lost because she's being a worthless coward? God, no.

Santana shook her head in defeat. Whipped. It's the best way to describe her in the situation she's currently in. Why, why did she have to be so in love with this girl?

No idea. Probably had something to do with Brittany being ridiculously gorgeous, irresistibly adorable, and frustratingly lovable.

Santana snapped out of her little world when Brittany finally made an appearance. She was alone and for a minute, Santana felt the urge to smack Artie for not even accompanying her to the exit. She squinted in the rain and though she could barely see it, Brittany looks like she's hoping for someone to save her. As Santana stepped harshly on the gas, she prayed that Brittany was hoping for that someone to be her.

Brittany was about to step forward into the rain, her face falling as she realized that nobody was going to be there to help her. Clearly, she wasn't expecting a black and slightly beat up car come skidding to a stop right in front of her. The door to the passenger seat flew open and a voice she knew all too well reached her ears.

"Britt! Get in!" Too stunned and desperate to think about what she's supposed to be doing, she threw herself in the car. She was met with brown, worried, and panicky eyes. A sense of security that she haven't felt all week rushed into her and Brittany was amazed as she realized just how much she missed that feeling. She gave Santana a smile.

"Hey."

"Hey." Santana almost turned the car around before she reached Brittany. But then, she noticed how her bestfriend's face fell and how she was about to brace herself into getting a harsh bath. Instincts took over and before she knew it, she was ordering Brittany to get in her car. As she smiled at her, Santana momentarily forgot that she was panicking.

"Thanks. You saved my life." Santana chuckled.

"Yeah well, you looked like you were gonna cry."

"I probably would have." Brittany laughed. Before either of them knew it, they fell easily back into the light atmosphere they were often in during the old times. Almost. Suddenly, blue found brown. Santana felt pain shoot up her chest, memories of the locker confrontation parading in her mind as if saying that she shouldn't be with her in any way. Brittany heard her breath hitch almost inaudibly. Santana looked away, afraid of what Brittany might read in her eyes.

"Let's go?"

"Uh, yeah."

The ride to Brittany's house was far from awkward and uncomfortable. Unlike the times when they were in the same classroom where she would shoot Brittany short glances, Santana looked straight ahead. Her body is relaxed and several times, she had to fight the urge to close her eyes. Beside her, Brittany's eyes were closed, a serene smile on her face.

They've missed this. They don't need words for the moment. They don't need physical contact. For Santana, Brittany in her passenger seat is more than enough to keep her from running away. For Brittany, she's more than satisfied that her bestfriend was right beside her – the closest she's ever gotten to her since a week ago.

As they neared their destination, Santana slowed down – an attempt to prolong the moment. It would hurt like hell later what with her scent in the car and memories in the backseat, but she wanted to at least, have this memory of her to be pain-free. Her eyes landed on Brittany's face. She felt like gasping for air. She was so beautiful that it hurt more when reality reminded her that this girl beside her is not hers.

The car stopped just in front of Brittany's gate. Sensing that she was being watched, Brittany cracked her eyes open and looked straight into Santana's eyes. This time, Santana did not flinch away. She stared back trying desperately to tell her as much as she can – how much she wanted to be with her.

Brittany didn't know what to do. She felt like laughing and crying at the same time. She had always been able to read the Latina well. Right now is not an exception. She wanted to tell her that she was hers and that she wanted to be with her too. At the same time, she was scared. Scared that Santana might leave and it would hurt so much enough to kill her. She was torn.

"I meant it, you know." Santana's voice cracked. Brittany's eyes softened, her silent way of encouraging her. Santana took a deep breath and willed herself to be strong.

"I love you." And along with these three words, Brittany heard what Santana wanted to say. I love you, I will fight for you. I love you, I'm yours. I love you, more than anything. I love you just because I do.

Brittany reached to touch her cheek. Santana squeezed her eyes tight and grasped the hand.

"I – I have to go, San." She didn't want to leave her like this. But she wasn't sure if she could handle her emotions enough to stay faithful to Artie. She felt Santana's hold loosen and she unwillingly retracted her hand.

"Okay."

"Thanks. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Definitely."

Brittany opened the car door shooting one last glance at Santana before rushing to her front door. She shut door behind her and leaned against it.

"I love you too."

Outside, hands gripping the steering wheel a little too tight, Santana wishes it was enough.

A/N: I know this chapter's a little too short for comfort. However, it's the most important chapter so far. So, tell me what you think. Also, big big thank you for the reviews of the last chapter! I love you guys. :)

Brittana is love,

theangel1710