Chapter 3

Stepping out of the extremely cold shower, very alert and cooled off, I began to dry myself off with my towel. I wrap the towel around my waist and walk to the mirror and a counter of sinks. I brush my hand through my wet curls, deep in thought. She nips at my lower lip, asking permission for her tongue to enter my mouth and swirl around my own…Damn it, Per! You just got a cold shower to forget about that giant, big mistake, and now you're going to get worked up about it all over again? Geeze, why is she invading my thoughts so much now? What's changed? I've always barely tolerated her these past four years and yet recently she's just been so…irresistible? I scoff out loud at this thought. Maybe it's the makeover she had not too long ago. Well, she looked absolutely ridiculous right after; no doctor should be wearing makeup like the lovely streetwalkers posted on every corner.

But after she toned it down…and she's started to come in to her own as a doctor. And she's standing up to me, which commands a hell of a lot of respect from me, that's for certain. It might be when Elliot showed that she was such a capable doctor; so good at emergency situations and diagnosing. Hell, why should I care about that? Alright, despite the fact that I must have…feelings…for Elliot, I just need to brush them off and just go home. Even though I could've sworn I'd just worked a 12 hour shift with Dr. Barbie, I was walking out of the hospital after a regular five hour shift.

I step into my apartment, breathing a sigh of relief at my own place after a day and a half of working. Triple shifts are nobody's friend.

"Perry, is that you?" Shit. Jordan. How could I have been so stupid as to kiss Elliot when me and Jordan's relationship has been so good lately? Jordan comes out of our room with Jack on her hip, her eyebrows arched. "Here I thought you were never going to come home. Jack has been wondering if his daddy has died. Can't say I'm too happy about that thought crossing our son's mind. Been telling Jacky any stories about the hospital, Per?" She hands Jack over to me and I throw him up the air, and then nuzzle my nose against his.

"Whacha say there, Jacky boy? You been giving your mommy there a hard time?"

"Yes sir!" Jacky smiles and claps his hands.

"Good boy, just like I told you." I flash a grin at Jordan and find she's glaring at me. I put Jack down and slap him lightly on the bottom. "Go on to your room Jack. Me and your mommy are going to want a little alone, grown up time." Jack grins and starts running for his room, probably heading right to his blocks.

"Ahh, you want some 'grown up time' with me, do you?" Jordan smiles lasciviously at me and starts sashaying my way. My body instantly responds. I embrace her and accept her kiss.

Okay, this is how it's supposed to be. I should be kissing the mother of my child, the woman living with me. But I can't help to compare the kiss I had just earlier this day to this kiss. It's just lacking…fire. That's what my kiss with Elliot had; passion.

Jordan pulled back and looked at me questioningly. "What's up, Per? You aren't kissing like usual. And I see that my clothes are still on and I am still standing. What's wrong with you?"

I scoff and shift uncomfortably. "Nothing's wrong. I'm just…distracted. I've had such a long night and rough morning; I'm just tired is all." My eyes kept flicking around the room, not looking at her.

"You…oh my god, you have a crush! You acted exactly this way when you had your little crush on that dark haired intern, and that Dr. Miller just last week. You really just can't settle in to our relationship, can you? Well you know what, Per Per? You just go ahead and play out your little fantasy. Just tell me, who is it?"

I just walk away from her and straight to the liquor cabinet. "Hm. That bad, huh? Well you know what, Perry? You do what you want and just let me know when you're over your tryst. Jack and I need to go visit my mom, anyway." I pour myself a big glass of scotch and walk over to the couch and sit down silently. Jordan came over, leans down and gives me a small kiss on the lips, then walk into her room to start packing. She does this. She figures out I have a crush and she just…accepts it. I don't get it. I mean, we are by no means strictly faithful to each other, but she's cut down on her dating since we got divorced.

Hugs and kisses goodbye later, I was left alone in the apartment with my bottle of scotch and a taped basketball game I've been itching to watch. Life was perfect. Any thoughts of Elliot flew out of my head and were replaced by the game I was fully involved in watching. Until a knock on the door sounded. Oh God, is it Elliot? Did she come by for another kiss? This is just too much for one day.

Slowly I pulled myself off of the couch and shuffle unwillingly toward the door, trying to subdue the panic and…the excitement?...I was feeling. I was like a freaking school girl with a crush. Looking into the peep hole I felt my stomach drop slightly. Not Elliot. This was not relief flooding me but just a slight sense of disappointment. Immediately replaced by immense agitation.

"Nobody's home, Newbie!" I yell at the door, moving back to the couch.

"Come on, Dr. Cox! I just wanted to come by and talk, man to man!"

"Not possible, Sally."

"Because you don't want to talk?"

"That, and also, you're a woman. So technically it'd be man to woman. And I'm not in the mood for a tea party so I'd appreciate it if you'd skip on home there, Shirley."

I heard a key enter my door knob and I look up sharply in surprise to J.D. entering my door with a key in his hand. "How'd you get that key, Newbie?" I growl angrily.

"One never reveals one's secrets." J.D. says.

"Did you steal my keys at work and get them copied?" I get up and stalk over to J.D., yanking my key out of his hand.

"I must say, your Porsche is a delight to drive around." J.D. grins at me.

"You better be kidding there, Newbie, or so help me…" I menacingly get in J.D.'s face.

J.D. gulps and fishes out a key in his pocket, holding it up to me with shaking hands, "Completely. But, here's a key you might want back."

I take my Porsche key out of his hand and growl at him again. "Get out." I walk back to my couch, not bothering to kick him out personally. Instead of leaving, he shuts the door behind him and walks over to the couch and sits down beside me. "Not on your life, Becky."

He promptly gets up and moves to the chair next to the couch. He looks at me with a sincere look. Oh God, he's going to try and have a heart to heart with me…"Perry, I want to have a heart to heart with you." Exactly. Just perfect. Not something I need today.

"And what makes you think I want to talk to you, Betsy?" I rumble, taking a sip of my scotch and wincing, my lips stretching back over my teeth. It burned all the way down. Just how I like it.

"I just wanted to know what's going on with you. Elliot said" I wince at the name, "that you were being…weird and a little, well, a little meaner than usual to her." I look at him sharply.

"How would that be any of your business?" I snap a little more aggressively and defensive than I planned. Get a grip. Don't give away your feelings, Perry. Swallow and repress, just like you've always done.

"I just don't want Elliot to get hurt. Anytime she's gotten into a relationship she seems to always end up getting hurt somehow and—"

"Stop right there, J.D. Relationship? What the hell are you talking about?" My palms start to sweat. I wasn't being that obvious was I?

"Come on, Dr. Cox. You've been my mentor for four years now—" J.D. held up a hand to cut me off since I opened my mouth to object, "so I know you pretty well. And I also know Elliot. And ever since you two disappeared together this morning, she's been acting all…different."

"What do you mean, different?" I croak, not wanting to ask, but needing to know.

"She'd be smiling one second, then immediately frown. She even teared up when Carla asked her why she was daydreaming at one point, and she never daydreams! That's what I do." J.D. finishes, a little indignant.

"Okay, we're done sharing our feelings now. OUT." I point at the door.

J.D. pouts, "But you didn't share your—" I cut J.D. off with a glare and point at the door again. He sulks over to the door, casting puppy dog eyes at me. I just keep pointing at the door, ignoring his look. He steps out and shuts the door behind him with a soft click.

When did he become so damn perceptive? He was usually so wrapped up in his own damn daydreams that he barely has time for his patients, let alone pay attention to his surroundings. For the second time that day I scrub my hand down my face, frustrated. Time to pay a visit to the hospital.