Ten days later after i had gotten out of the hospital i seem to have alot better only my arm was in a cast ever since then nancy and especially joe had kept me away from lulu one day i went to naya's house seeking advice i wondered what it'd be like being a father at thirteen years old i didn't like that idea at all of
course i wasn't going to walk out on my kid like my father did but i still didn't want it i understood how my mother felt it must have been hard on her i didn't blame her for hating me i thought i arrived at naya's house i walked in i seen naya was on the phone with one of her mother's customers so i sat on the sofa and waited as naya hung up the phone before i could say anything she had quickly caught on as to what
went on "you got her knocked up didn't you and you thought you could just walk right in here thinking i could make everything better" she said i looked away and bit my bottom lip "i'll leave n-" "you came to the right place " she said with a wink i had a small smirk on but it faded quickly "what am i to do" i asked bitterly naya walked around abit thinking what to tell me "have her get rid of the baby" she said "what?" "you say
that alot kid your not stupid" "how do you know" i asked "for one your french' she said smiling "second your going to stay with me for afew weeks you'll pick up whatever i do" i looked at the floor to my right for a moment "what is she doesn't want to get rid of the baby?" i asked "simple you get rid of it" "how?" i asked "cause her a miscarriage "what?" "stop saying that! man up" i swallowed the lump in my throat thinking if
she was going to strike me "how do i cause a miscarriage" "alot of ways how far along is she" she asked "three weeks" i said in reply naya running her fingers through her hair mumbling "that little whore at only thirteen" naya looked sad for a moment i wanted to ask what was wrong but i didn't "have you ever hit a woman before and don't you dare say what" she said "no i have not i am, not about to lay a finger on lulu
so get that out of your head" i said with fierce naya looked at me for a moment "i told you that you wasn't stupid you knew exactly what i was thinking" i looked away i felt an urge to cry next thing i knew tears were falling down naya wiped my tears away and kissed my forehead "don't cry everything will be okay i hope if you won't hurt her then ask her if she will give up the baby if she says no your only way out is to cause her a miscarriage however it is up to you do what you think is best you came here for advice and i told you i
better be going now my boyfriend will be here any minute we'll talk later" she promised i thanked her and went home before i walked into the house i seen my step father was on his way to work and stopped me in my track "you listen here boy i brought you in my family to make my daughter happy don't even think about talking to her again street rat" he said as he pushed me aside i thought to myself i need to get her alone to
talk with her if only laura was here she would have helped alot i wished laura had not left this life before i went looking for lulu i looked around the house to make sure joe was no where near i sighed in relief he had went to town with romeo nancy was in master bedroom watching the home and garden channel i thought to myself as pretty as lulu was it was extremely hard to believe that woman was her mother i
shook my head in disgust i walked to lulu's room it was a pretty far walk knowing how big that house was i knocked softly on lulu's door "yes come on" she cried i rushed to her to see who could have put those bruises on her face and arm my arm was in a holder so i could only touch her face with one hand "who did this to you" i asked furiously "joe i told him not to hit me when i'm pregnant but he didn't care" she cried i
rubbed her face softly followed by a soft kiss on her cheek "he is not to hit you at all let alone when your carrying a child" she began to cry on me as we layed in bed i thought about naya's advice i wondered if lulu wanted this child i sat up to look at her "lulu do you even want this baby?" i asked she looked up at me with
her eyes "don't you?" she replied "lulu i do not want to be a father at such a young age i will never walk out on my kid but i don't want to face that type of responsibility right now lulu" i said with hesitation lulu stood up with a look in her eyes that almost scared me "i'm having this baby raphael and no one is going to stop me if you don't want no part of it then that's your problem" she said as she got up for a drink of water i walked over to hold her from behind "i never said i don't want any part of my child" i softly whispered in her
ear my hand placed gently on her stomach both her hands followed she turned around to look at me we gazed at each other for a brief moment soon we kissed softly "i love you raphael" she said with a soft tone "i love you too" i replied "you know they say a when a woman is pregnant is when her true beauty comes out something in her face changes" she said with a small smile i looked at her with pity "your not a woman
your only thirteen and i really think we should think about this" i said she walked away from me with an attitude i followed "why are you walking away from me?" i demanded she didn't reply just looking out the window as if i hadn't said a word "answer me" she turned to look "i want this baby and that's it now get out" she shouted i suddenly felt abit irritated by her words "i will not get out i am the father of this unborn
child it's my rights as well as it is yours" my tone of voice had became louder she looked away "just because your mother didn't want you doesn't give you any reason to do what she did" she muttered i suddenly felt my anger swell why was i feeling this urge to strike "what did you say" i shouted she looked at me with fear as she walked away from me again i felt my anger rise i began to charge my hand had grasped her hair
"what are you doing!" she yelled i pulled her back throwing her on the floor she attempt to get up i quickly threw a front kick to her facing knocking her down my rage had taken over me i couldn't stop i seen blood in my eyes i began kicking her all over her rib cage stomach and back why couldn't i stop her yelling of agonizing pain did not stop the only words i heard was in my head die..die die! i had unleashed my rage on
the one i love the most i had finally stopped catching my breath my face was still in rage i couldn't shake it suddenly she began to bleed screaming in pain my face had suddenly formed into sadness my rage had left me i stood there gazing at her thinking what have i done! i began to cry "what have i done!" i shouted my eyes shifting left to right not knowing what to do lulu had rolled up in a little ball holding her self in pain
yelling and crying there was no way she was going to get up after that i rushed out the room creaming nancy's name "nancy!" i screamed i ran to look for her all over the house "nancy!" i cried nancy was no where to be found i thought maybe she had been outside i rushed to search for her i found her outside
smoking a cigarette "nancy!" i rushed to her 'lulu! she's she's! lulu it's lulu come quick!" i panicked nancy did not follow "nancy? come quick!" "i do not care what happened now please leave me be" i shot her a look of what the hell is wrong with you i rushed quickly to the nearest telephone i called the police and they arrived afew moments after i had hanged up the telephone the paramedics had taken lulu to the emergency i i had
no way of going there my car had been taken from me the paramedics wouldn't take me with them the police had no interest as of to escort me i had panicked not knowing what to do there was only one way to get there i ran as fast as i could to follow that ambulance my shoulder had soon started to act up but i had not cared one bit about myself i had finally reached the hospital i looked around to where people were
checking in "pa-please! help l-lulu valentine!" i panicked the woman had got some pages out "now calm down son let me see here" she looked through the forms "oh yes miscarriage have a seat and the nurse will attend to you shortly" she said i had slowly backed away from the window my eyes filled with tears i sat down in the waiting room gazing at the floor thinking what have i done i killed my unborn child and hurt the love of my life what have i become my hand over my eyes covering so no one would see my tears one hour
went by i had fallen asleep on the chair "sir sir?" she shook me "where is she is she okay!" i yelled "sir please lower your voice right this way" i followed the nurse to room 109 i seen her in bed she pulled her legs up a scared look on her face i would never have thought that the one i loved the most would be terrified of me i thought for a moment i couldn't hold her without being relaxed i couldn't kiss her without her
being on edge thinking that i would strike her any second our relationship would never be the same again i couldn't live with myself knowing i made her fear me i slowly walked towards her she began to moan with fright i stopped and held in my breath we glared at each other she relaxed a little i felt that i could move
towards her as i did slowly my eyes met hers both our eyes were filled with aching tears "i'm so sorry" i whispered under my breath our eyes still locked against each others lulu had placed her hand over and mouth and slightly gasped which led to crying "i'm so s-" "i don't ever want to talk to or see you again"she cried i broke down in tears "i made a promise to you that you are never to go to an orphanage ever again
i'm keeping that promise tell no one of this raphael just keep away from me i can't be your girlfriend after this i-" 'just kill and and get it over it" i walked out the room "raph wait!" she cried i walked back in to hear what she had to say before i was going to die "i will always love you no one will take your place all i'm saying is we should have a brother sister relationship" she what! i thought there was no way i could love
her as my sister after making a baby with her she wanted me to be her brother? but i thought if i didn't agree to it i would lose her for good i nodded and walked out after we went home we had a long talk with romeo he agreed and i never spoke to lulu valentine for the longest time two months went by i tried talking to her as she wanted a brother i have done what she wanted have brother sister conversions brother sister
shopping movies dinners nothing she did not even want to lay eyes on me nancy had move me to the basement as if i was some kind of beast i had no bed nothing to place my clothes in i was not allowed to go anywhere do anything no friends no days out nothing after two years i have changed alot i was not kind anymore i was not caring anymore i began to feel anger more then i should i had a quick temper i had
become brutally fierce after two years of not talking to lulu i thought to myself i shouldn't have to listen to nancy chester or joe it was my life i could do whatever the fuck i wanted fuck was word i often used in the past i rarely used it i couldn't understand why one day i had snuck out the basement window and walked to naya's house i've seen here now and then had sex afew times i felt as if naya had become a friend not a
good one though i was now fifteen years old standing six foot three my weight stayed the same i couldn't get past one hundred and twenty pounds i looked like a walking stick i thought to myself i needed a change so naya's place was the way to go anyone who crossed my path would dream they didn't i opened naya's window and jumped in she was laying down in her bed reading a magazine "what gives raph" she asked "a
new look" i demanded "so you finally took my advice to start doing something with your life" she tossed me a cigarette light "yes i have" i took one of her cigarettes out of it's pack naya looked at me thinking what to do first "well first we need to cut and color your hair the red roots are coming out" she muttered she put on plastic gloves and prepared for my piercings i sat back on one of her chairs "what would you like" she asked
"everything" i said with a smirk naya had applied two lip rings three nose rings three black stud earrings on both my earlobes two rings on the top of both my ears i had after she was done she grabbed a mirror "what do you think' she handed me the small mirror i didn't want to look i paused for a moment "i'm not done" she smiled we went to another chair for her to do my hair she first had colored it midnight black with
light green at the ends of my hair she handed me a book of styles i went through them and saw nothing i liked she looked disappointed "how about if i try something" she asked i nodded she cut and styled my hair the style was a little passed my neckline the top was spiked forming in a diagonal upright the spikes were long the front of my hair was parted to the left side five inches passed my jaw hair also hanged down on
the right side after my hair was done she started on my face my eyes were covered in black make up i was dressed in long baggy black pants with chains and rings crossing both sides a black t-shirt with words on the front side heart in the back showed a black and red heart with cuts that said less i had applied rings to
my shoes black and white converse with green rings i gazed at myself in the mirror and thought now i'm ready to take on the world