My Granny's Pet Lu Bu
Chapter 2
did many things at a time:
Washed Cao Cao's head. She did it with great pleasure... Everybody saw Cao Cao's blond hair with astonishment. Cao Cao showed everybody a very proud smile,after which my granny spent twenty more minutes on cleaning his teeth.
Changed the tablecloth and washed Zhang He. Completely. Many Dynasty Warriors later bothered her to know whether Zhang He is a girl or not.
Gave Yue Ying some more omelette. It got eaten by Xu Zhu. Some more. Burnt by that pyromaniac Lu Xun. And some more. Fell right on Yuan Shao's face when he wanted to escape from under the table. Granny cried out some nice words and told Yue Ying that diet is very useful sometimes.
Gave Zhang Fei and Xu Zhu prizes. Those were papers with the following text: "Congratulations! Due to your glorious victory you shall not receive any food during the next seven days. But you can drink water though. ONLY water,Zhon Wei.(She's kinda bad at Chinese...and remembering things.)
Explained Lu Bu the meaning of the word 'bastard'. The explanation was actually the act of giving him a hug and a big,red candy horse and telling that Zhang Fei isn't the person even to be listened to.
Made Sima Yi show her his braces. Laughed out loudly. Was astonished by the condition of his teeth. Attempted to clean them. Failed,'cause he scratched her REALLY hard. Cut his fingernails. Sima Yi spent 10 minutes weeping,until Zhuge Liang gave him his old fan. SO old,that it was even black...
Showed Zhuge Liang a long,long tongue. Licked some omelette on his face. Cleaned Zhuge Liang up. Completely. One Sima Yi later bothered her to know whether Zhuge Liang had braces or not. Dressed Zhuge Liang up in her old green tunic. Tied it up with my white ribbon. Took a photo and sent it to Koei. The photo was gladly accepted as his second costume for DW6...
Told Yuan Shao that his family wasn't needed indeed. Took the weeping Yuan Shao into the bathroom. is actually why he has WHITE hair in DW6... See,my Granny designed the game.
Washed Liu Bei. Made his ear look green because of the terrible medicine she put on it. Liu Bei was glad. He thanked her. Granny Olya kindly told Liu Bei to get lost. "Even though your name anso begins with LB,you can never match my Lu Bu! He has FEATHERS,see?.."
Slapped Lu Xun. He burnt my Summerhouse. Zhuge Liang said that it's not a big loss,since it had no Wi-Fi. My granny slapped Zhuge Liang. You can say,she nearly slaughtered them all... That's why Lu Bu is so severe... He's her pet!
Fed Wei Yan omellete and called him Vanya. She found he resembled my younger brother very much... Well,indeed,they're both so dumb...
The Warriors found that it was not so bad in the 2nd century,after all...
"I wanna go home!"Cao Cao sobbed. And no one dared call him a crybaby.
Only Lu Bu was sucking his candy horse,staring at Granny Olya with hearts forming in his eyes. You know,Diao Chan felt so envious...
A/NPoor Dynasty Warriors... My Granny is a monstah indeed! XD