Chapter 8 - The Return

I wish I had a shield now.

…

I ran to open the window.

I was betraying my new sense of change.

"Bella…"

I stopped him before he came any further. He was perched on the window of my bedroom. I was not supposed to let him in just like this, with no warnings or no explanations.

His face was so different. None of the boyish charm was left, his face was taut and his eyes were wild. His hair had been cut short. His huge frame filled my window, blocking all of the light from moon outside. I couldn't believe how huge he was now. He had changed so much. I couldn't even handle one small change, already turning my back on it.

I backed away from the window. I ran my hand through my short hair, wishing that none of this was real.

"Please, Bella, say something…"

I could not believe him.

"What? What do you want me to say? Do you want me to apologize for not being enough for you? Do you want to be sorry that I'm not good enough for you anymore? Is it my fault that the only way you could think to get rid of me was to leave me on the cliff that day…?" I wasn't really mad, I was begging for answers. Jacob knew this. My sun was in my room yet I felt no heat.

A lone tear trickled down his cheek. I was not going to fall for this.

"I miss you, Bella." Yeah. Right. If he had missed me, why hadn't he come sooner?

"Bella…Bells. It's not what you think. I would have come… if I could have. And that day on the hike, well, everything changed. We didn't know what was going on, it was so…" He stopped as if choked by an invisible force. "…Well, I can't tell you. But we had been planning a surprise for you. We only went to get set up, and then… well, there was…uh." He coughed a loud bark. I was sure Charlie would hear him. I looked behind me worriedly.

"Tell me, Jake. If I mean so much to you, tell me. I'm begging you. Please. I miss you guys too. I just don't know what I did wrong. I'll be better I promise, just please don't cut me off again."

Suddenly, I realized that Jake and I, we had a connection. I did not know if it meant we were more than friends, but we had carved deep into our friendship when it began. I had been so close with him. He had known all of fears by just looking at me and now I felt like I was naked in front of him. He could see all of me.

"It's not you, Bells. I promise it's definitely not you. But everything will be okay. I can't stay here. I just needed to see you. After earlier at the beach… it just felt so bad to hear the pain in your voice. I need to know that you'll be okay. That you'll look after yourself. Just give me that, Bella."

"Jake… I… Hang on. How did you hear me talking at the beach? You were so far away."

He placed his hand on my shoulder, leaning on me as he got down from the sill. His feet made no sound as his weight rested on my wooden floor. Odd.

"Bella, I can't tell you now. Maybe another day. Sometime in the future, I'm sure you'll figure this out. You're smart. You have dealt with this sort of thing before. You can figure this out. The guys wanted me to say hello for them."

How did the guys know he was coming here? What did he mean I would figure this out?

It was as if he knew what I was thinking.

"We have no secrets…anymore." He looked pained as he said it. I wanted to hug him, to break through his tough exterior and find the old Jake within. But even though he had no secrets with Quil and Embry, he still had issues with me. He ran a hand down through my hair, and smiled.

"Do you like it?" I asked him, waiting expectantly for his answer. He simply nodded and turned away from me. His shoulders slumped. The gaping hole inside my chest screamed out for some kind of contact with him. So I went with it and hugged him tightly around his waist. He jumped at the feel of my cold hands. His body was so warm. Too warm. Warmer than before, this was unnatural heat. It felt like he had a fever. I stepped away, but the moment I did I regretted it. The cold air of the room washed over me. I would never feel warmth again.

"Please, Bella, I can't tell you, but you already know this." He reached out and grabbed my hand. He looked down at my wrist and I immediately pulled it away. He started to shake after he saw the mark. The perfect silver outline of teeth forever branded there. It felt like he knew what it was.

His breathing returned to normal as he looked back up into my eyes. Jake gave me a small smile. "You'll figure it out" And with that he left.

He left me again.

I woke early the next morning, from a dreamless night. I thanked the heavens for that. Jacob had left me in a state last night. I was appreciative that he had let me know that he did still want to be my friend but now I needed to know the real reason. I wondered if it was that Sam Uley and his friends. Had they been a bad influence on my Jake?

I thought about when Alice rang me. She was still looking out for me too. I wondered if all of this was just simply bigger than me, that everything was connected in a realm outside of my recognition. I would be glad for that. I finally felt as if none of this was my fault. I let that feeling of relief wash through me as I showered and got ready for work. The Newton's had come back a few weeks ago, but there hadn't been much work. It was a quiet season now, considering all of the bear attacks in the woods. I guessed people were just not into it anymore.

I wondered if it had been Laurent who had killed those people. Those wolves had been big though. They must be dead now; Laurent was not a match for them. He was not a match for anything with a pulse. He would not like their blood, but because they had run him off, I guessed he would have been pretty mad. I found myself feeling sorry for the mutant creatures.

As I drove down the highway, I had the feeling I was being watched again. I stopped in a lay-by and looked around, trying to catch my breath. I saw a pair of big glassy eyes watching me through the trees to my left. As I turned to get a better look, they were gone. I wasn't so sure, but it looked like they were joined to some sort of brown fur. Just an animal I shrugged.

But the thoughts of those wolves had never left my mind.

Work was monotonous that day. I gave my 'two weeks-notice' to Mr Newton. I decided I would look for a better position in the summer. And that was approaching fast. I couldn't wait for it to come. I would be free from pretending to be a normal girl in front of my friends and teachers every day. I knew I wasn't different in any way, but it had been so hard to put on that brave face.

After work, I was thinking about Victoria again. She seemed to be a constant thought in my head. My head was reeling; if she came for me, how could I protect Charlie? I wasn't thinking properly as I drove and found myself on the La Push Road. I figured I would go down there anyway. I had some thoughts I wanted to put past Jacob. He told me I would figure out what was going on with him. I don't think I even came close. I was thinking drugs, alcohol, gangs and on the more abstract side of my mind I was thinking wolves, spells and magical beings. I didn't know what all of this meant.

I pulled up outside of the Blacks house; Billy was sitting in his chair on the porch. I hadn't seen Billy in weeks. He smiled and waved to me when he saw me. I ran over to him and greeted him as happily as I could muster. I liked Billy. I had forgotten how close he and Charlie were. I might have ruined that, with my mood swings and never ending depression.

"Hello, Bella. What brings you here? I thought you and Jake were fighting?" Billy was never one to beat around the bush. I kept my smile plastered on my face.

"Well, Billy, I just need to talk to him. He may not want to be my friend but I've got to try. I have to explain a few things…" he watched me with a curious eye as I left my gaze drift towards the woods on the outskirts of the premises. There was a group of seven boys there. I recognized Jake, Embry, Quil, Sam and the others I were sure were Sam's friends and a smaller boy, who I was sure was a Clearwater.

Billy saw me watching them and told me to go to him. Billy seemed like he knew something that I didn't. He had a twinkle in his eyes. He told me to come back to him when I was done and tell him how it went. I promised him I would and I left without another word. Jacob ran to meet me.

"Bella! Have you…?" He looked behind him warily at the boys. I shook my head but I beckoned to him that I wanted some privacy. The guys were all far away but I was so sure they could hear us. Jake led me into the garage at the back of the house. His hand was still too warm as it encompassed mine.

"Are you on drugs, Jake?" I asked. I knew he wasn't but I needed to be sure it wasn't a 'human' thing that was keeping him away.

"NO! How could you think that? I thought you were smart, Bells. Come on!" Jake was indignant. I laughed at him. He always made me feel so easy. He made it easy to breathe.

I hesitated. This was the point of no return. If I told Jake what I had been thinking of last night after he left, he would either think I was crazy, or he would be… something else.

"Okay, this might sound crazy but…"

"Wait." I was interrupted by Sam Uley. He was standing in the garage door. He looked angry at Jake. He asked me to step outside. I could hear Jakes protest as I went willingly. I did not want to be in the room with Sam if he was angry at Jake. Embry was waiting for me outside. He gave me a big bear hug.

"I knew he'd make you figure it out Bella." Figure what out? I think Embry saw my confusion, because he stopped talking. I heard a growl behind us.

"Bella meet Paul." Then he added in a whisper, "Paul is not a happy camper. But take no notice." Paul started to shake. His arms convulsed at his sides and his square jaw tightened. He looked as though he was losing his head. I had never seen this boy before. All of the other guys were laughing at him, but he started to shake even worse.

"Get her out of here. She shouldn't be here. He doesn't get to break the rules." Paul moaned as he let his harsh words cut me. I was stung. I didn't even know Paul and he was already trying to get rid of me. Quil approached him from behind and tapped him on the arm. Paul convulsed even more. Quil winced and told Paul to stop. I wondered what he was going to do.

Embry placed himself in front of me. Maybe Paul was going to hit me. I started to worry.

"Maybe I should leave…"

Embry told me no. He said I had nothing to worry about. He told me Jake would be out in a minute and that he would have something to tell me.

At that Paul started to shake even more, his legs joined in and his head was lolling from side to side. He was growling and grumbling. In the next two seconds, a lot of things happened. I felt myself being thrown backwards as a huge wolf appeared in front of me. How can that possibly be? Had that boy, Paul, just turned into a wolf? I felt my knees weaken. There were shouts and yells but all I could feel were two warm hands catch me from behind as I fell.

I welcomed the blackness. I welcomed the nothing that had been a part of my left since they had all left. This was like have a dreamless sleep. But I had to wake up.

I opened my eyes to a strange room. There were paintings on all of the walls, each one of a different season, a wolf standing in the centre of each. There were lots of dream-catchers by the head of the bed I was in. The bed itself was small and the mattress was lumpy. I was covered in a blanket and was shocked to see that I was dressed only in my underwear. The blanket was warm though. It was patchwork. Everything here was so homely. I rubbed my eyes and ran my hand through my hair. It felt sticky. What was that?

I started to panic and rested my head down again. I thought about what I had seen before I had blacked out. Now I knew what happened to Jake and Embry and Quil. If they were like that Paul boy, they were all wolves. I had heard those stories before, but always thought they were myths and legends. Just made up as scary stories for the Quileute kids growing up. Everything suddenly fit into place.

I heard footsteps outside my door and when I looked up, I saw a pale and wan Jake enter the small room. He smiled when he saw I was awake. I was glad that he at least looked sure of himself.

"You're awake!" he exclaimed.

I nodded and raised my eyebrows at him. Behind him, another one of the guys had entered the room…Paul.

"Sorry Bella, I hope I didn't scare you…" He mumbled with a slight tone of amusement in his voice. He thought this was funny. He thought that he had scared me. I would prove him wrong. Id dint reply though because Jake punched his shoulder in a friendly way and he made his way out of the room.

Jacob slid his bulky frame down on the small bed next to me and took my hand. The heat made me dizzy. He sighed and absentmindedly rubbed my forehead with his other hand.

"I'm sorry you had to find out like that. Sam had just told me that it was okay to tell you. He told me he trusted you. I don't know what changed his mind. I guess he knew I would get it across to you sometime anyway. I am glad though. It's such a relief that you know." I saw some of the boyish features appear on Jakes face as he looked hopefully into mine.

Suddenly I remembered having no clothes on. I was mortified.

"Jake, ah, where are my clothes…? And who…?"

Jacob snickered at me. He explained that I had gotten sick. I felt myself turn crimson. He said he understood that I had been shocked. He said I had been screaming in my sleep, so Sam and Emily had gotten me into bed and out of my clothes. I was so embarrassed. Sam had seen me almost naked. And also this Emily person whom I didn't know yet.

A knock came to the door. I jumped but Jake smirked and hopped up to open it. A beautiful woman was standing there. She had long glossy black hair and a soft face. One side of her face was perfect, but the other had three longs scars running down it. I wondered if Paul had gotten at her. She introduced herself as Emily. She laid my clothes on the end of the bed and told me to come join them in the kitchen when I was dressed. She seemed like a really nice girl.

Jake left and Emily followed, smiling at Jake with a twinkle in her eye. I dressed quickly and stumbled down a short hallway. This house was small, but it was cute. Everywhere there were trinkets and ornaments and pictures. I saw lots of pictures of Emily and Sam together.

I entered the kitchen which was larger than the rest of the house; it had a huge round table; which was barely visible because of all the large teens surrounding it. All seven of them sat there looking up at me with huge grins on their faces. I felt the blood rushing to my cheeks and ears.

"And the zombie returns…"

That hit deeper than Quil would ever know.