Ok, so I decided to post early. Hope that's ok.

kellyprovence - beta!

Bbebar - pre-reader & twifey!

Warning: For How Long deals with physical & emotional abuse. If these things offend you ro are hard for you to handle then please don't read. It won't be too graphic but the abuse will be there.

Disclaimer: SM own Twilight. I own FHL.

For How Long-Charity

-To accept help would mean the endurance of more hurt-

"Oh no, that will never work Bella."

I sighed. My mom and I had been furniture shopping for nearly two hours and I was over it. I mean how many different types of side tables were we going to look at!

"Mother, I told you I liked the one we saw an hour ago."

Mom just shook her head and moved on to sofas.

Renee Dwyer was the perfect picture of Chicago high society. Just like myself and my brothers, she always had the best of everything. Her father was in politics and all that implies. Grandpa Charlie passed just over five years ago and we all missed him very much. We, meaning the entire city of Chicago. He was one of those rare but priceless politicians that actually worked for the people.

Mom had also graduated from Northwestern and married my father, Phillip, right out of college. They were pregnant with Emmett the night of their honeymoon, Jasper came less than two years later, and I was the baby. My dad was an investment broker. He was amazing at his job. He was sought after by many and recommended highly by all that worked with him. We came from money but we tried to never abuse that. We didn't want to take for granted what we had, ever.

Mom wasn't just a trophy wife though. She had her business degree as well. She ran her own event planning business and it fit her personality well. She was the planner of Chicago. Anyone who wanted to have a party and get noticed for it, asked my mother to do the job.

I wanted a life just like the one my parents had but I wasn't holding my breath.

After Demetri and I got engaged, he was a completely different person -on the outside anyway- and became all about reconnecting with family. I didn't argue because I missed mine so much. Mom and Dad welcomed me as if I'd done nothing wrong and we rarely spoke of it at all.

They were both so excited when I told them about my upcoming marriage. Dad shook Demetri's hand and kissed me on the cheek. Mom said that I had myself I good man and to not let him get away. I was pleased that they accepted it. Mom wasn't always the biggest fan of my relationship with D. He was eight years older than me and Mom always had an issue with that. She seemed to forget all about that though when I showed her my engagement ring. We were married on January 22.

"What colors were you thinking for the living room, dear?"

Mom's question brought me back to the fact that we were still looking at furniture.

"I was thinking earth tones," I replied, already knowing she was going to approve. Her living room was done in earth tones.

Demetri and I had just purchased a new apartment in the heart of the city. It was closer to the university where Demetri was still teaching and I could walk to get just about anything within a few minutes. It was win-win.

The apartment it's self had three bedrooms, which to me was two too many, but Demetri wanted to start a family soon. I did not.

Don't get me wrong, I loved children and I definitely wanted one or two, but to bring them into a relationship like the one that my husband and I had-wel,l I just couldn't. I had Mirena as far as birth control goes and D was none the wiser. He'd kill me, probably literally, if he realized I was ruining his chances of having a family on purpose.

I had come to terms a long time ago that I would probably never have children.

"I think that will look lovely. Is the time table still confirmed, for the remodel, I mean?"

Mom's question startled me due to my wandering mind.

I picked up a pillow that I loved and held it up. "Umm, yes. I think so. The contractor was by to see Demetri last night and as far as I know everything is still running on time."

Mother nodded, "That's good. You want to be all moved in before winter gets here."

It was September. I turned twenty-five last week.

"I agree. We should be in by Halloween."

"Oh Bella, that reminds me, we have a hospital gala next weekend. You and Demetri will need to come. Jasper is coming as well."

I rolled my eyes. I hated these types of things. I didn't always, but now I hated putting on this fake persona. I hated acting happy all the time.

"I'll mention it to D and make sure he can go," I replied, adding another lamp to the already large amount of items that were to be shipped to the new apartment in the next couple weeks.

"Well, if he can't go that doesn't mean you can't go. You can be your brother's date."

I only nodded. I knew better. I wouldn't be going without my husband.

After finishing up the extended shopping trip with my mom, I head back home. Demetri would be there in less than an hour and I still had to make dinner and take a shower. Damn my mom for wanting to go clear across town!

The rules were very simple.

I was to have breakfast made when he woke up at six in the morning. His briefcase and jacket were to be ready for him as he walked out the door. I had the day to do what I wanted and I had an allowance as to how much money I could spend. Dinner was to made every night by seven. I was to be showered and ready to talk about our days by then also. I couldn't go to bed unless he said I could, and I never made plans after eight. On any night. With anyone. Unless Demetri was the escort.

I didn't like rules. I rebelled against them numerous times in the beginning but that only led to punishments. They started out small-a smack here or shove there. Then they escalated the longer we were together. I'd never broken a bone until I met Demetri. Now I was up to four. He never touched my face. He said that it was my one true beauty. I knew it was because it would be harder for me to cover up the bruises.

I tried to do as was expected of me. Not because I was weak but because I was strong. Strong enough to know that no amount of small victory I gained by breaking the rules was worth the sting of his hand.

Why didn't I just leave?

Sounds simple enough but it's anything but. He controls all my money. He owns everything I have. He owns me.

I thought about telling my parents but Demetri said they'd never believe me or that they'd blame me because it was my fault after all. If I would just behave and act like a wife should act then there wouldn't be a problem.

I had dinner set on the table just as his keys entered the lock.

"Good evening my beautiful Bella," Demetri called out.

I walked so that I was closer to the living room before answering, "Good evening husband of mine. How was your day?"

He kissed my cheek when he reached me and then stepped around me to enter the kitchen.

"Fine. Gave a pop quiz and that went over so well."

I gave him a smile. He liked seeing people squirm.

"Anyone pass it?" I asked, as I poured him a glass of wine to go with the chicken parmesian I prepared for us.

He laughed lightly, "One student...out of fifty-two."

I joined him at the table and we bowed our heads.

Demetri insisted we say Grace every night before dinner. I didn't have a problem with it, but it's the only religious thing Demetri ever did. He wouldn't even go to church on Christmas Eve.

"How did the furniture shopping go with Renee?"

I paused with my fork half way to my mouth and answered, "Great, I found a lot of really nice things and Mom said that interior designer friend of hers would be contacting me next week if I hadn't called her up by then."

He nodded and took a drink of his wine.

"I want to see her ideas as well, you know, before we hire her."

"Of course, D."

"What's her name again?" he asked wiping his mouth with his napkin.

"Esme Cullen. She comes highly recommended and Mother says she does amazing work."

"Well I think you should get a hold of her before she has to contact you. It would be rude for her to have to come to you."

"Yes," I start, "You're right. I'll call her first thing in the morning."

Dinner continued on with small talk about things that need to be finished regarding the apartment. The majority of the work was put aside for me to take care of. Demetri said that since it was my idea to purchase a new apartment that it should be something I took care of. He also said that since I did nothing else of any importance it wouldn't hurt for me to use my free time wisely.

Bedtime was also on a strict schedule. D was always in bed by ten. I also had to be in the bedroom by then, though I could do other things. I just had to be quiet...which eliminated a lot of options. I usually just went to bed right a long with D.

For a married couple, sex was something that we did not have often. A couple times a week, maybe, and then it was boring and plain vanilla sex. Not that there's anything wrong with that every now and again but I am a twenty-five year old woman. I needed variety and passion. I wanted dirty words and soft caresses. What I got was robotic. I was sure that if Demetri didn't feel shameful of getting himself off more than a couple times a week, we wouldn't have sex at all.

That's all it was. Sex. We hadn't made love since we got engaged. To make love you - you had to be in love. I loved Demetri but I wasn't in love with him. I never will be.

I wanted to be in love with someone. I wanted them to be in love me. I didn't wanted to be controlled or hit. I wanted to be his equal.

I suppose I should have visited these thoughts before I married D. Divorce was not an option. He made that very clear. Also, my parents would probably die on site if I ever told them I wanted to divorce. They expected everyone to be able to sustain a twenty-seven year old marriage. Right.

My day was a lot of the same thing. A cycle. A schedule. I tried not to get down about it but really, who wouldn't? I wanted to live life and laugh without worrying about the next time I might be able to.

I wanted to save myself. My only problem was I needed help doing that and I had no idea who to ask.

xx-xx

"Cullen Creations, this is Jessica, how may I help you?"

"Yes, hello, this is Bella Volturi and I was hoping to speak with or make an appointment to see Esme about decorating an apartment I recently purchased."

I called at 9:20AM. The office opened at 9.

"Sure Mrs. Volturi, your mother mentioned something about you calling yesterday when she had lunch with Esme. Let me see what she has available for a consult. Hold please?"

I nodded feeling dumb since she obviously wasn't going to see the gesture. "Yes, that's fine. Thank you."

I was on hold for nearly two minutes.

"Mrs. Volturi? Esme can see you next week. Tuesday at 10:00AM?" Jessica asked in a chipper voice.

I checked my date book that was out in front of me and saw that I didn't have anything until after two that day.

"Yes, that works fine for me. Do I need to bring anything?"

"No ma'am. Any ideas you might be leaning toward would be welcomed though. Written down, so that Esme has something to go on but that's not required for a consult."

I hung up with Jessica after confirming the date and time of the appointment next week.

The rest of my day was pretty open. I was secretly hoping that Esme would have been able to squeeze me in today, though now that I think about it, I see how foolish a thought that was.

I tidied up the already immaculate living space and decided to dress for a day of nothing.

I chose a pair of dark skinny jeans with a lavender sleeveless top-since the weather was still nice. I might have been closed off from a lot of the world but fashion was something I refused to part with. Thankfully Demetri liked me to look nice. He said it reflected back on him.

I braided my hair and let it hang over my shoulder. Applied some mascara, and a bit of bronzer, slipped on my ankle boots and that was it, I was done with everything I needed to do.

I had just started looking at a home decor magazine when my cell phone beeped.

It was a voicemail from my mother.

"Bella, join me for lunch in forty-five minutes. Cafe Italia. See you soon. Love you."

I sighed but decided that it was a better option than sitting here for the entire day staring at four walls.

xx-xx

"Are you available tomorrow?" Mom asked, before taking a sip of her coffee. Two sugars.

Tomorrow was Friday. Demetri had classes until six tomorrow evening.

"Yes, for what and at what time?"

"This lunch thing at the NMH. It's a fundraiser and your father had mentioned that it would be nice to introduce you to some of the life savers that worked in Chicago."

The irony was not lost on me with that statement.

Dad had always been a supporter of medical facilities here in Chicago. His mom had developed cancer when she was just thirty-one. He was pleased with the amount of wonderful care they gave her. She died six years later but not for the lack of quality healthcare. His favorite hospital was Northwestern Memorial Hospital. Our entire family was Northwestern Alum. You figure it out.

"Sure. Semi-casual?" I asked, squeezing the lemon into the my water.

Mom nodded.

"I'll be there."

"We'll have the car pick you up and you'll meet us in the lobby at one."

This time I nodded.

"Esme Cullen will be there, did I mention that? Her husband and son both work at the hospital." Mom was excited about his particular piece of information.

"Really? Lucky woman. Doctors all around."

"Carlisle is her husband and a brilliant cardiologist. Edward is her son, he's in emergency room medicine. She also had two daughters. Alice who is just a year older than you, she's a nurse at NMH and Rosalie who, I believe just turned twenty-eight. She runs the Cullen Foundation."

Carlisle struck a memory chord. Out of all those names only his would stay with me.

"Carlisle does the free clinic on the weekends right?" I regretted the words as soon as they were out of my mouth.

"Yes," Mom started hesitantly, "How do you know that?"

I had to pay that free clinic a visit a few times. Of course I always left money because I didn't want to take advantage of the supplies, just the anonymity it brought with it. No one asked questions of the girl with bruises on her face or the broken hand she held close to her chest. They never wondered who could have done it to her. They asked if they could help find a place for the girl to stay while the police take care of him. The girl may or may not have tried that a few times and everytime he found her and it was always worse than the last time.

No, help wasn't an option when it came to the police and safe houses. The name was deceiving.

"I..umm..I saw a paper on a cork board while working through campus the other day. Carlisle is a unique name...I guess it just stuck."

Mom looked doubtful at my explanation but didn't seem to eager to press the issue.

I was glad. I was never very good at lying. That, or my mom was just incredibly in tune with me. Either was a good possibility.

"Well anyway, be ready on time please. Being late is rude and you're father doesn't want anything to overshadow the event."

Again, I nodded and took a sip of my water.

xx-xx

The door opened and I almost gasped at the handsome doctor. Was he even old enough to be out of medical school?

"Hello, Isabella. I'm Doctor Cullen."

He extended his hand but stopped short when he saw that my right hand was held closely to my chest.

"What happened there?"

I looked down and answered him, "I fell and landed right on it. I am the clumsiest girl in the world." I thought about laughing but I knew that wouldn't be anymore convincing then what I was being now.

"Hmm...can I see it?"

He gingerly took my arm and I let out a quiet yelp of pain. It was probably just sprained. It felt just like the last time.

"It's not broken so that's a good thing," Doctor Cullen stated as he gently pushed around on my wrist.

I forced a small smile. I hated this feeling. Not my wrist, though that did hurt I hated the shame I felt when the doctor tried to make it out to be a simple injury. It was so much more than that. It was me being stupid and not standing up for myself. Or maybe it was me standing up for myself too much...since that's why Demetri grabbed me in the first place.

"Well, Isabella, I think it's just a sprain. I'll wrap it for you and give you something for the pain. Just for a couple days and then you'll just need to take Aleve or Advil per the directions on the bottle. Okay?"

"Yes, thank you Doctor Cullen."

He smiled at me and hesitated. He wanted me to ask for help but I had tried that already and it ended up with me bruised so badly I couldn't leave the house for nearly a week. The wrist wasn't worth what else D would do to me.

So I just forced another smile and made my way off the too high table and off the noisy as hell paper.

"Listen Isabella, I want to let you know that we can help you."

I thought about not answering at all but that would be rude.

"No, I'm afraid you can't Doctor Cullen," I finished after putting on what I hope was decent smile, "Clumsiness isn't cured."

He sighed and gave me a sad smile. He knew what I was doing but without proof he couldn't go against my wishes. Wishes...what were those and why did I ever believe they came true?

"Alright well I'll have the nurse come in and wrap that wrist and the prescription for the pain medicine will be at the desk."

I nodded and then he was gone.

I had to fight the tears as the nurse wrapped my wrist and led me out to collect my prescription.

I fought the tears as I made my way to the pharmacy to fill the prescription.

When I got home, I locked myself in the bathroom.

I stopped fighting the tears.

That was the first time I met Dr. Carlisle Cullen. Not the last of course. I've seen him almost a dozen times in the six months he's been over the clinic.

What the hell was I going to do tomorrow?

Alright, so now ya have something to read! lol.

Tell me what ya think? Please!

Next chapter will be posted a week from today-Aug 27.

There is a polyvore of Bella's outfit from this chapter. It's on my profile & i'll tweet it...which reminds me..

Twitter me: hayboo05

-rach (feel free to call me that! -beejelly_ ..that was for you! ;)

Thanks for reading!