Chapter 13 – Secrets

Jacob had been watching me closely. He thought I didn't notice but I did. He watched my every move. It was as if he was reading my body language. It made me very self-conscious and made me blush for most of the time I spent with him. I liked being close to Jacob but he seemed on edge – like he had something on his mind.

"What, Jake?" I asked, exasperated. He had been doing this for two days now and as I was scanning the paper for job listings; it did nothing to help my concentration.

We were in my house, lounging around in the living room – him taking up most of the sofa – and I was sprawled on the floor. Charlie was away fishing with Billy so we had a few hours alone. I was grateful. Even with all of these new wolves, things were still hectic within the pack. Brady and Colin hadn't gotten off to a great start and so they needed extra time to adjust to patrols. That meant more work for the rest of the guys.

"Nothing." Jake answered me with finality in his voice. He looked back at me as if to say something, but changed his mind. I huffed and continued my scan of today's papers.

I had taken to collecting each local paper and tearing out the relevant pages. I had seen some pretty interesting jobs on offer. I neither had enough experience or time for most. I couldn't spend all of my time away, so a long commute was out of the question. And Jacob wouldn't agree on that. We weren't exclusive or anything but I felt the need to run things by him. I wanted his approval for everything I did. It wasn't as though I was needy – and I was independent – I just felt he had a right to know. Even if he hadn't yet asked me to be his girlfriend.

As that thought occurred, Jake heaved himself up off the couch and sat down next to me on the floor. He draped a heavy arm over my shoulders and kissed me on the lips. It wasn't a passionate kiss, but one that conveyed all of his feelings to me; I felt love, adoration and devotion. Oh, ask me now Jake!

"Bella… We haven't talked about it yet… But I'd really like it if… I mean… would you be my… Agh! I can't do it!" He looked so cute when he was frustrated. I got the general gist of what he was saying, so I pushed myself closer to him. I smiled as wide as I could – something that was becoming more natural for me in his presence – and nodded.

"What? You will… How did you know…? Oh I don't care. I love you Bella" I was so happy in his arms right there. We had a lot to talk about, but I felt it could wait. Now we both knew where we stood, and it lifted a great burden off of my shoulders. I felt the leftover cracks in my chest soften. I laughed as I leaned in to peck him again. I couldn't get enough of his warm lips on mine.

We heard the front door open and we jumped apart. Jake looked curiously around, he hadn't heard our visitor. It was Charlie. I laughed again, to Charlie's surprise; but my blush wasn't covered up by my humour. He greeted us, telling us the weather was too bad for his and Billy's outing. He told me he had had one catch though, big enough for our dinner. I rushed to get it started. Jake refused his share and left to go keep Billy company. He flashed me that special smile as he turned out the door. All I wanted to do was run after him and never leave his side.

"Bella, what's up with you two? You're all …um… different?" Charlie really was a man to reckon with. I had to laugh again, which made him smile. I supposed he may as well know now as never.

"We're going out now, Dad. Okay?" I guessed it was okay because Charlie had a huge grin plastered all over his face as he picked up the phone. I was sure he was calling Billy. Old ladies like to gossip – but these two were something else.

I went to bed that night all smiles. Charlie had been cheerful because I was happy. He told me so. I had nothing else on my mind at that moment. I got ready for my night of idyllic dreams.

"Bella?" I heard that southern speech outside my window. Why, Jasper, why now when all I want to do is sleep? Did he really need to report to me?

I opened the window obligingly. The icy night air hit me as his frozen frame glided past me stealthily into my room. Jasper nodded to me and I sat down, preparing myself.

"I have news." I nodded, signalling him to continue. "Alice has seen some more. I talked with her today, she was in South America. She is keeping Edward away. But he read her thoughts… He knows that you are invisible to her. And what she could see of you is gone as of today. Edward was mad. He concluded that you were dead of course. So she had to tell him about Victoria. He feels terrible, Bella. I am not sticking up for him but he is truly despaired over this."

I was shocked. But it had been inevitable that he find out eventually. I knew what Jasper was getting at; Alice had told Edward about Jake and me.

"He wanted to come see you, but we couldn't allow it. Who knows what he'd do to Jacob? He promised to stay away for now. He said he will know when the time is right. He accepts that Jacob can give you more life than he ever can. It hurts him, but he can let go if you have. Also, Alice wants you to call her. She's worried because she can't see you. She isn't used to being out of loop. We have found some vampires that Victoria has tried to take into her 'army'"

He voice was laced with disgust when he changed the subject to Victoria. I hadn't realised it had gotten so far in just a week. She now had an army? Would this mean there would be more than ten vampires on her side when she came for me? I was so stressed all of a sudden. The weight that lifted off me earlier fell back down with a heavy thud in my stomach. I couldn't find words so I allowed Jasper to continue in his low calm voice.

"She hasn't been successful, don't worry. But now Edward knows about her. She will try to get to him. She will taunt your relationship in his face. He is prepared. He is tracking her now – his skills are better than mine or Alice's. He will hold her up in Brazil, and he will be successful. Alice has seen this. She can see more now that she is not concentrating on the pack."

Poor Alice, staying away so that she didn't feel lost in the blank futures of the wolves. I felt for her. She had been my best friend before. I missed her terribly. Jasper even looked frightened as he spoke about his mate.

"I know how you feel, Bella, so I just ask you to tell Sam Uley that I will return in a week. Tell him my news. I will wait outside and help you to sleep before I go. Do you mind?"

I shook my head, glad for his gift. More than ever thankful that I knew people like the Cullen's who would risk their existences for me. I felt myself relax even as I shut the window after Jasper. I crawled into bed, waves of calm sending me down into my blissful dreams. I had been waiting for these dreams to come. Nice dreams for a change. I had not given Charlie reason for a midnight stroll in quite some time.

After I reported back to Sam the next day, I hung around with Emily. I help her getting the pack lunch together. She was so efficient at doing thankless work; I guess it made her feel good to know they all looked up to her. Emily was like a surrogate mother to all of these wolves. I left before the wolves arrived – I wasn't avoiding them – I just didn't want to hear their discussions about the Alice-Edward-Victoria news. As much as I loved Jake, a part of me was still sad for Edward to be hurting over me. Even if I had been hurting for him for far too long now. I felt as though the end to my struggle with accepting that he was not for me was over. All I wanted now was to ensure he was happy – while keeping my Jake happy.

I loved being Jake's girlfriend. I knew he wanted this as much as I did. It felt natural with him. I would never have to change to suit him, and neither him for me. This was everything I ever could have hoped for in a boyfriend. There still was the question of him imprinting on another girl; but I figured that was a hurdle we could cross when we had to. There was no use dwelling on it.

I hadn't seen Angela in a while so I drove over to her house. I hoped she was home. She wasn't. Apparently, she was on holidays with Ben. I hadn't realised they were so very close, I was a slight bit jealous of her. Angela had nothing to worry about only keeping Ben as her own. I had to worry about vampires killing me, my boyfriend and all of the other people I had come to love over this year. Life, I thought, never was what it was made out to be.

As I drove back home to Charlie's I passed a quaint little coffee shop that I had never noticed before. It was a small building with loads of flowers set outside it and cute trestle tables. A sign on the window caught my eye. 'Staff Wanted'. That was the only invitation I needed. I ran through the rain from my parking space across the street and entered the tiny room. It was hot in here, the windows doused with condensation. Perfection was not the word for this café. The walls were lined with bookshelves – a heaven in itself – with more wooden tables and assorted cushioned chairs. It was a mismatched array of colour topped off with the invigorating smell of fresh coffee beans and home-baking.

"Hi there, you want anything, honey? Horrible day out there, can't say it's changed must from the rest of the week though." The squeaky voice of the lone waitress took me by surprise. She was a beautiful woman, around Charlie's age, I'd say. She had long shiny black hair and dark creamy skin. She fitted in so well with her surroundings I would say she was hired to keep up with the look of the shop.

"I, um, I just wondered about the Staff Wanted sign on the window?" I started hopefully. I really was too much of an introvert for this sort of thing. But I did really need this job. My college fund was slowly but surely depreciating in value ever since I left Newton's.

The lady smiled warmly at me and told me to take a seat. She served another customer then came and plopped herself down on the purple velour couch next to me.

"I'm Anna. We've just opened up last week, and business has really taken off. I hadn't realised so any people around here like this sort of thing." She waved her arms around the cramped space. I smiled politely and shook her hand.

"I'm Bella. Do you need a resume?" I offered, secretly hoping she didn't because I didn't need to run back outside in the rain right now. It was so warm in here, I loved it. I had been getting used to the heat lately though.

"No, Bella. If you want a job, you look capable enough to me. Have you ever waited tables before? Doesn't matter. It's a cinch. Want to pop by tomorrow and I can show you the ropes?" I was a little taken aback by her forwardness. "No second thoughts I hope? I've been desperate for help!"

This woman was so nice I promised her I'd be back the next morning at nine. She was delighted and took my number. I couldn't wait to tell someone about this. I was so happy even as I entered the cold outdoors and rushed to my truck.

"Come down to First Beach tonight, Bells, please? We haven't talked in two days!" Jake was pleading with me over the phone. I felt bad to refuse him again but I had a lot to do. My job at the coffee shop was going exceptionally well. I loved it. It was always bustling with energy and people rushing in and out. Anna was the nicest boss I could have asked for. She had me trained in within the hour and sent me home on my first day. I was thankful for this, as I needed time to catch up with Renee.

Renee was so glad that I had found a job. She was happy about my relationship too. We gushed to each other over the phone for about an hour or two. I lounged around to house for the day, calling everyone I knew to tell them about the café. Charlie was pleased and had even popped in for a coffee the next day. Anna was immediately taken with him; she was new in town and had heard all about Chief Swan. Anna herself was a single woman, with no intention of romance whatsoever. She was taken with her books and her shop and she told me that was all she ever would need. I didn't probe too much, but she seemed to instantly trust whoever she spoke to. A very admirable trait to have.

Tomorrow was Sunday, so I had the day off. I wanted to see Jake, but I was still afraid he would bring up Edward. I couldn't put it off for much longer though; he had to be on to me. He hung up the phone with an air of defeat about his husky voice. I detected a slight bit of anger too. What was wrong with me? Every chance at happiness and I ruined it. I hoped I hadn't pushed Jake too far away.

When Charlie saw me look down, he popped the question. "Are you coming down to the Black's with me Bella? I'm driving so it's a chance to let your hair down? I'll be staying late too. If you want to spend some time with Jacob. I haven't seen that boy since early in the week."

I shrugged, uncommitted. I didn't want to be too stand-offish but I wasn't eager either. I knew I had better go. If Charlie had noticed, Jacob had definitely noticed. We left a little while later, me with a lasagne in hand, to feed the Blacks with. They didn't get much home-cooking with no women in the house. Jake's sisters hadn't been home in years, and his mom passed away when he was younger.

"Hey Bella… Jacob's gone to the beach already. He told me you weren't coming over…" Billy greeted me, he was a little uneasy. I prayed that I hadn't upset Jake too much. I shoved the lasagne in the oven - giving the men strict instructions – and ran for the beach. I heard the pack before I saw them. There were shouts and roars and the smoke coming from an unseen bonfire. The pack did love their bonfires.

I tried to sneak up to surprise them, but sneaking up on werewolves is obviously not an option. I was shrouded in half naked forms being passed from one to the next until I reached what I knew to be Jake's arms. I breathed in his musky, woodsy scent. My heart ached for him. I felt so bad for not seeing him all week, as he was just what I needed. He let me go way too soon and I almost objected to it.

"Bella! What are you doing here?" That was not the greeting I was hoping for, either. I smiled and offered him a shrug, instead of an explanation. He let it go and kept standing in front of me. Everyone had gone quiet. I felt my cheeks burn – maybe I wasn't welcome here. Jake opened his mouth to say something but he coughed and the words got caught in his throat. His eyes were focused on some point over my head. He stammered and coughed like that for a few minutes until I tried to look around his bulk. I couldn't see the rest of the pack but I knew something must be wrong.

"Hi Bella, come with me for a while, we'll leave the boys here…" Emily grabbed my arm and turned me around swiftly. I caught a picture of the scene behind Jake as I turned. All of the pack was standing in a circle; all of them seemed to have dates… Why were they hiding this? The guys had always gone through girls like there wasn't enough time in the day. But then I noticed it. There was an extra girl. An empty space next to her. Jake was still standing away from the group. I was dragged along with Emily trying to put two and two together and not get thirteen.

"Come on Bella, we'll get some food ready for later. The boys have some things to talk about. They are …um…. Well there have been some arguments lately. After some more news from that Cullen. And you know how they get. Well, to be honest Bella. You would have had to have seen it. You should have had to see it." I sensed some tension in her words. Jasper had been back? Nobody told me anything anymore. I was shaking, with fear, silently begging Emily to tell me who that girl was. She was the only figure I could see. But I also saw red.

We arrived at Emily's and she was bustling around the kitchen. I just stood in the doorway, still shaking. She looked at me with a pitiful expression on her face. She handed me a cup of warm cocoa and led me to a chair. I braced myself for the worst.

"Because I am the only wolf-girl, I guess I ought to tell you. Jaspers news the other day wasn't good. It's Edward. He's undecided about finding Victoria. Jasper didn't give us many details… The main gist of it was that Alice saw his future change. He changed his mind. He said that Edward is unstable, that his future changes all of the time. But you were in it. He didn't say how or why you showed up, but you were there."

I sighed. "So, Jacob doesn't want me because I have a future? My future is with Jake…" I trailed off, realising what I was saying. My sun. Brightening up everything… except Alice's visions. She couldn't see Jake. I panicked. I didn't want Edward. Only the other day I had decided I was over Edward. Yes, the scars were still there, but only as a reminder. A reminder that I had had my first love and had moved on. I was shell-shocked. "Emily, I…"

"No, Bella. This is serious. Tonight's bonfire was supposed to congratulate you on your new job. Sam changed it to 'Moving on'. For Jake. If you have a future with vampires, you know it can't be with Jake too. I love you like a sister Bella but you can't do this. You need to go away. You need to think about your life. I won't see him hurting over you. He fixed you Bella, how can you do this?"

"But I'm not doing anything Em, I don't understand. I don't want my future with vampires, I want it with Jake. You have to believe me. I made that decision weeks ago. I owe so much to Jake. He made me feel love again and I do Emily, I love him." I pleaded with her to believe me. She, of all people, had to know love when she saw it. She had been through so much for love. "Please Emily, I'm begging you… Don't let him leave me. Did he have a date tonight? We're not even going out together a week and he has a date. I haven't even had a date with him. I know I haven't been around, but I have a lot on my mind. Not Edward."

"Okay, Bella. I believe you." Emily said with finality in her voice. "No, by the way. That was Leah Clearwater. She's been acting …strange lately and Sam thinks she's about to phase. Girls don't normally, well never before. But she has the temperature, mood swings, and of course a serious uncontrollable urge to rip apart anyone who pisses her off." She shuddered.

I swallowed. There had been so much going on that I wasn't even aware of. There was a small self-absorbed part of my mind that was wishing I hadn't pissed Leah off. I had seen her before – after Jake had told me who she was. She was a tall, lean girl. A body to die for. Dark skin, hair and eyes and she was a force to be reckoned with apparently. Scary combination.

Emily threw out my untouched, cold cocoa and I looked at her apologetically. It was seldom anyone refused anything from Emily's kitchen. We strolled back down to the beach.

"Oh and Bella. Be nice to Jake. We have to think of something to change that stupid vision now. If it wasn't you then…" She gasped and caught a firm grip on my shoulder. "What if Edward is going to steal you away?" I laughed at her expression. I assured her that Edward might be hurting but he wouldn't do anything against my own free will. It didn't help my case but it was the truth.

"Emily, if all the guys are mad at me, why did they all rush to hug me and greet me like they did?" This was bugging me.

She shrugged and laughed. "Boys" We giggled simultaneously.

I was glad I had Emily on my side as we approached the group again. All heads were turned our way. Most of the girls had moved on up the beach, I fumed at myself for how stupid I had been. The guys all said soft hellos to us and Paul just grimaced. That was strange.

I ran and hopped on Jake's lap. Enveloping me in his warmth was sure-fire way to ease my distress and his too. It was a confusing night. I was glad Emily had told me what was going on though.

"I love you Jacob Black and I want nobody else." I whispered as seductively as I could muster into his ear. I had never tried to be seductive before, but he shuddered as if it had worked. He smiled at me gently. "I know I'm meant for you, Jake. I know it. I will always be yours."

I planted my lips onto his. The cold escaping me and filling its place was pure sunshine. I felt happy and warm as I kissed Jake. His hands gripped in my hair and pulled me closer to him. His tongue roamed into my mouth caressing it gently. My head throbbed as I tried to stay glued to his face, but I heard a faint hem-hem sound from behind us. Jacob and I both blushed as we broke apart and I hopped quickly off of his lap.

Everyone seemed more at ease with me then. Except for Paul. He wouldn't even look my way. Everyone else chattered on until about midnight and bit by bit the group broke away. Leah and Seth left first, Seth having to be dragged away by his older sister. Leah hadn't been too intimidating. She was cold and barely spoke, but she hadn't been horrible. Emily and Sam left next, both looking very loved up arms wrapped around each other walking towards the outskirts of the forest to their home. Jared left with his girlfriend Kim. I hadn't known he had a girlfriend. I figured out that there was something serious about them by the way everyone avoided touching her. If anyone even looked her way, Jared would glare them out until they turned away from him. Embry and Quil left with Colin and Brady, all off to do a quick patrol before going home. That left Jake and I alone with Paul.

We offered Paul the walk home. He accepted and fell into step beside me while Jake ran back to douse the last flames on the fire.

"Swan, if you ever scare him like that again, I will have to strangle you. I like you, but as a sister. And to be in his mind when we phased made everyone else think they want you too. He was pining for you when he hadn't even lost you. I never want to feel like I want you Bella, it was revolting." I was a little bit offended, I had to admit. Paul said no more and ran off into the darkness.

I felt the warmth behind me before I saw him. Jake wrapped his arms tightly around my waist and squeezed me into his midriff. We stopped by the garage on our way towards the house. I wanted to see Jake's Rabbit. I also couldn't bear to part with him just yet. Holding hands we strolled in and Jake switched on the small light in the corner.

"You finished it! How come you haven't picked me up yet?"

Jake shuffled his feet nervously on the floor. He looked so cute. "I wanted to ask you on a date first…" His voice was quiet.

Love gushed out of me in that moment. I ran and jumped at him, knocking him back a little in the surprise attack. I was proud of myself. I kissed him deeply and passionately, finishing what we had started on the beach. I felt his strong hands clamp onto my waist, his fingers dipping underneath my shirt to touch the skin on my back. Arousal awakened within me. Jake leaned back and chuckled. I suddenly remember something Jasper had said about werewolf senses.

I slapped at Jake but smiled. I knew he knew I felt this way. He made me feel this way. It had been embarrassing before, but now I thought about it, it wasn't out of the ordinary for teenagers. Even if all boys didn't sense it. My boyfriend was better than all boys. He deserved to know he made me feel this way. Nobody had ever made me feel this way before.

I let loose and pushed my hips closer to his, as he pushed against mine and continued our kiss. His hand slipped further up my back, gently caressing my skin. I laced my fingers through his hair and pulled his head towards mine. I couldn't get close enough to him, my love. I knew we wouldn't do anything …more, just yet. It didn't bother me though. Jacob was worth the wait. We stayed in that position for what felt like an age before we decided it was time to go inside.

We were greeted with the knowing smiles of our wise fathers. Nothing was secret from them. And I hoped nothing ever was secret from my Jake either. He deserved someone whose future was sure to be with him, but I felt mine was. Alice would just have to admit she was wrong this time.

Jasper had some explaining to do. Never had any Cullen kept secrets like this from me.

A/N - Hey guys. This was my longest chapter yet.

Next one is going to be ...different. Any ideas on what i might do? What you want me to do?

What's going on with the pack? Throw some thoughts at me!

Review!

Thanks for reading anyway... :) Byee.