hello!

Thanks so much for the reviews & alerts! Means a lot. If I haven't replied to your review yet, I'm gettin there! RL has been really busy as of late.

kellyprovence: my amazing beta!

Bbebar: pre-reader & my love.

(please see a/n at the bottom for some exciting news!)

Warning: For How Long deals with physical & emotional abuse. If these things offend you or are hard for you to handle then please don't read. It won't be anything too graphic but the abuse is still there.

Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight & it's characters. I won this story.

For How Long- A Glimpse

-The glass always looks cleaner from the outside-

All weekend I thought about two things. Well...people.

Carlisle and Edward Cullen.

Granted the reasons for their occupation in my mind were extremely different.

When it came to Carlisle, it was about what he didn't do. He didn't make a scene or even speak inappropriately to me. He kept it all very polite and although I knew what he meant when he said I could talk to him, it wouldn't seem out of sorts to anyone else. I'd be lying if I said that the offer didn't make me anxious. I wanted to talk to him...to anyone. Sometimes I wondered if it could really be that easy. Then I remember that if it was, I would have been free of Demetri a long time ago.

Carlisle was kind and gentle. He also asked a lot of questions with his eyes. I knew what questions they were. I asked myself the same ones every time Demetri hit me.

They all started with one word: Why.

The questions did no good without answers though. The answers are what I'm lacking.

I needed to decide what I was going to do about finding another clinic to go to. Ideally I would never have to go back but realistically I knew it was just a matter of time.

When it came to Edward, it was what he did do to me.

Edward wouldn't leave me alone.

Our encounter had been brief and we had merely joked about our duties as children of important people.

I kept playing his voice in my head though and his eyes wouldn't stop showing up when I would close mine.

Maybe it was just this physical attraction I had to him. It couldn't be much more than that. There was nothing else it could be.

There...it was settled.

Knowing why didn't erase the thinking altogether though.

Demetri knew I was distracted all weekend. He got very angry about the fact that I wouldn't tell him what was wrong.

I had a bruise on my left shoulder blade to prove it. I'll have to remind myself to fall below the doorknob and not on it.

In my defense, nothing was wrong. I had no problem just two men on my mind. Yes, I'm aware of how that sounds.

When I still wouldn't tell him after he shoved and belittled, he went to his next favorite tactic.

Accusation.

He accused me of cheating on a regular basis. The absurdity had to be as obvious to him as it was to me. I had to tell him everything I was doing and how long I would be doing it. I had no plan without his approval.

He was cheating.

Cliche Lifetime movies come to mind. Perfume and lipstick on his clothes that weren't mine. Whispered conversations in the bathroom right before bed. Him accusing me constantly.

I wonder if he hit her too. I hope not. Yes, she was a home wrecker in the traditional sense of the word but no one could ruin what was already destroyed.

Frankly, I wish he'd leave me. The complications of a divorce couldn't possibly be worse than what I was dealing with now.

Sunday morning, Demetri refused to let me have breakfast with my mom. He said if I could keep something from him then he could keep me from something.

He called Mom and explained to her that I wasn't feeling well but as soon as I felt up to it, I'd call and reschedule.

I was in the shower when that conversation took place. I didn't even know she had invited me until he told me he had told her no.

I came away with that argument with a bruise just below my ribs. Those hurt the worst because sitting irritated them. I had to tell him something otherwise I'd be black and blue all over.

I wasn't sure how I was going to appease him though. I couldn't tell him the truth. That would do more harm than good.

I decided to try my hand at fibbing. I usually wasn't very good at it but what I was going to tell D wasn't technically a lie. It just wasn't the whole truth.

Sunday evening, during dinner, I spoke to D about what was bothering me.

"I'm not sure if I want to stay at home all the time anymore."

Demetri finished chewing his garlic bread before he questioned me.

"Why is that? Is that what's been on your mind?"

I started nodding before he had finished his question. He might just buy it.

"Yes. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner but I didn't want to upset you. I want to feel like I contribute to the household Demetri. I hate just sitting around all day."

I made sure to look him in the eye the whole time I spoke.

"Bella, we've been over this. We don't need the additional income. We live comfortably and I like coming home to a hot meal, clean house, and a woman who is loyal. No job."

He went back to his dinner. I had been dismissed so to speak. Point for Bella.

As if an after thought, "Oh and if you ever keep something from me again, no matter how trivial, it will again be your fault if something or someone gets hurt. Understand?" His eyes never left his plate.

I nodded anyway. It was always my fault.

xx-xx

Monday morning came and went without incident. Demetri had apparently bought the whole 'I want a job' story because he seemed to lay off of me after our discussion. I was grateful. Some reprieve was nice.

My shoulder was sore today. More so than yesterday which struck me as odd but Demetri had controlled himself quite well the last two weeks, not inflicting any abuse at all, so I guess it was to expected to be extra sore.

My ribs were killing me. I tried to lay down as much as possible. The bruise hurt less that way.

Sometimes Demetri would go a couple weeks without inflicting any kind of physical abuse and then I'd recieve it every day for the next few days. It never made sense to me but the pattern or the lack there of didn't matter really. He still hit me.

Around 11:30, my cell phone rang and when I looked at the display, I didn't recognize the number. I always answered my phone though. Demetri would sometimes use random pay phones to see if I was doing something I shouldn't be. I always answered.

"Hello?"

"Hi, is this Bella?" The voice-familiar but not family.

"Yes, who's speaking please?"

"Hey Bella, it's Rosalie Cullen. We met Friday."

I smiled. "Of course, how are you Rosalie?"

"I'm fine thank you. How are you doing? Your weekend went well I hope."

I sat down and tucked my feet under me. "Yes, it was fine." A lie but that's what my life was.

"I was actually calling to ask a favor and you're mother said you might be able to help."

"I'll try. What's up?"

"I was wondering if you'd be able to run the blood drive tomorrow afternoon."

Before I could answer, she continued.

"Alice was supposed to do it but she got called away to another hospital. Half their nursing staff is out with the flu and she couldn't tell them no."

I hated blood. The smell, the sight, and the knowledge that it was coming out of people would just be too much.

Rosalie took my silence as consideration.

"I know it's short notice Bella, but I'm out of options. Not to make you sound like a last resort but since you have nothing to do with The Cullen Foundation, you sort of are. It would only be for a few hours. Ten until two. Please. I'll take you for a late lunch or dinner?"

I had to say no. I needed to say no.

"Of course I'll help Rosalie. What do I need to do?"

"Oh thank you, Bella! You're amazing! All you'll need to do is go to the emergency room department and let them know you're there to see Edward, he'll get you all set up."

I inhaled sharply. Edward. I'd get to see him. I smiled...then frowned. This wouldn't work. I already couldn't stop thinking about him. Spending time, no matter how small that amount of time, wouldn't help get him off my mind.

"Is that a problem, Bella?"

I cleared my throat. "Umm, no, that's fine. What time should I be there?"

"Around nine if that's okay. We have to get everything set up and that takes some time."

I agreed. Rosalie thanked me four more times before we hung up.

I had to tell Demetri. He would be upset. I already agreed to do something that didn't involve family. Without his permission. He was definitely going to be upset.

I'd have to lie about Edward. D would be irate if he knew I'd be spending time alone with a guy who wasn't related to me.

Yeah, I hated blood.

xx-xx

Hell.

That's what last night was.

I told Demetri about helping out with the blood drive and he lost it. He yelled vile things at me and then the hitting started. I'd take a million awful words rather than a slap to whatever body part he could reach at the time. I knew this would piss him off and still I did it. Maybe he was right, maybe I asked for it.

As I lay in bed looking up at the ceiling waiting for my alarm to go off, I thought about why I let him do this to me.

This morning he acted as if nothing had happened. He even kissed me on my cheek.

I'd went back to bed after taking a couple pain pills. I was sore.

"You're going to learn sooner or later Bella that I decide what's best for you!" ...slap to my arm.

I rolled carefully on to my side.

"You're going to become a whore. I will not be married to a whore who goes out and does whatever the hell she wants to do!" ...kick to my thigh.

I closed my eyes and the tears slid down my nose on to my pillow.

"You vowed to honor and obey Bella! Do you remember those vows?" ...shoved against the desk.

I looked at my arms and could still feel the weight of him.

"Tell me you're sorry! Say it and mean it!" ...arms pinned to the bed.

I barely made it to the bathroom before bringing up what little breakfast I ate.

xx-xx

"Good morning, I'm here to see Doctor Cullen."

The nurse behind the desk looked up from the chart she was studying and sighed.

"Who may I say is requesting a visit?"

I almost laughed.

"Bella Volturi."

She picked up the phone and spoke quietly...paused...looked me up and down...then hung up.

"He'll be right out."

I nodded and took a seat.

Less than a minute later, Edward walked out of the door leading to the exam rooms of the emergency room.

"Bella, it's so nice to see you again." His smile. I like it.

I gave him one in return.

"Hello, Edward, I hope I'm not taking you away from anything important."

He shook his head as he spoke, "No, I just finished up my last patient. Doctor Crowley is on duty for now. Come, I'll show you where you'll be setting up."

And with that, we were walking down the hallway toward one of the large conference rooms.

"Rosalie asked me to convey her deepest thanks for helping out today."

I glanced at him.

"She did that herself five times yesterday during a six minute phone conversation."

He laughed. I also liked that.

"Please convey my deepest acceptance of her thanks."

"I will," accompanied by slight smirk. That's nice...

He held open the door to the conference room and I saw that there were cots and computers ready to be used.

"We hold most blood drives in here so a lot of the equipment just stays put. You're staff will be arriving soon and they're all pretty good to go as far as what they're doing. You'll just need to supervise and answer any questions."

He went over and started uncovering all cots and turning on the computers.

"What if I don't know the answer?"

He turned from the computer he was looking at and gave me a slight smile.

"I'll be here. I can help you."

I knew he didn't know about my situation but in that moment, I felt as if he was telling me that he could really help me.

"Bella? Are you alright?"

I must have had confusion written on my face.

"You look as if you're going to pass out. Are you're sure you can do this?"

I sat down.

"Of course. I just haven't been feeling well. I'm also a little tired."

"Well if you need to go home at anytime, please don't hesitate to let me know. I'll be happy to take over. I'd hate for you to be feeling ill and have to deal with all of this."

I said it and I meant it. "Thank you."

The blood drive went surprisingly well. I only felt faint once and that was because I made the mistake of looking over and caught sight of the blood traveling through the tubes.

I actually enjoyed myself most of the time.

I tried to tell myself that it was because I was doing a good deed and a big part of it actually was because of that.

The other big part was Edward.

We talked a lot during the time I was there. He told me a bit about what he did at the hospital, other than emergency room medicine, and even about his family. The Cullen's were becoming quite familiar even if I had only met them once. With the exception of Carlisle of course.

Edward also asked about me. I told him a lot of general information but I tried to stay off the subject of my husband. He seemed okay with that and only asked about how Demetri and I met and how long we'd been together.

He also kept asking if I was alright. I'd grimace if I moved to fast or stretched too much. I told him I just slept wrong.

It was nearly four when we finished cleaning up the conference room and by then I was tired, even more sore, and hungry. My ribs were extremely tender today and my thigh hurt so bad that I almost couldn't walk without a limp.

I didn't want to, but I had to get home. Ice packs and heating pads were going to be my best friends tonight.

"I'll walk you to your car."

I accepted the offer. His company was welcomed.

"You did a wonderful job today."

"All I did was stand there and direct people where to go...but thank you."

He turned to look at me.

"You're a people person and that's what made you such a success today."

I shook my head and gave him a smile.

"Why do you think Rosalie didn't do it? She has a very low people tolerance, Bella."

I laughed. I could see that.

As we came upon my silver Lexus, "This is me."

"I hope I'm not out of line here but...would you want to join me for dinner? I know you haven't eaten all day."

I was silent. I wanted to say yes. I had to physically stop myself from saying yes. Demetri would kill me. I should be calling him right now.

"That's so nice of you, but I really should be getting home. My husband likes a warm meal when he gets off work."

He doesn't frown. He understands and that makes me feel even worse.

"Of course. Well, until next time Bella. Have a good evening."

He walks to the elevator in the parking garage and he goes up.

Watching him leave does strange things to me. I don't like how it makes me feel. I'm going insane I'm almost positive, I mean, I've only met the man twice. Still, I don't want him to go away.

I'm just about to call his name when my phone starts to ring.

It's D and he's not happy with me.

I get into my car and drive toward the anger.

I drive toward the person I want to walk away...but won't.

xx-xx

I flex my fingers knowing the pain will come and it does.

I lay my arm back down on the pillow next to me.

Another sprain.

It's wrapped and I've been icing it all day. I'm supposed to meet my brother for lunch and I can't show up with a brace.

He'll ask what happened and I absolutely can not lie to Jasper.

It's like he knows the minute I even think of lying to him.

I am dressed very casually. Too sore and tired to care about looking chic. Jasper won't care. He'll be in jeans and button down. I'd bet money on it.

Just before I leave to meet Jazz. I get a text.

I assume it's from Demetri because he's the only person who would be trying to get a hold of me in the middle of the day.

I'm wrong.

Hope you're feeling better.

Edward.

I smile. I want to save it. I don't. Demetri would find it and then it'd be all over. Not just this marriage but any hope of any kind of friendship with Edward. Demetri destroys everyone he meets.

I do text back.

I do.

What I don't tell him is it's because of him.

What I don't ask is how he got my number in the first place.

Despite all my bruises and pain I smile the entire way to lunch.

"So she is all weepy and clingy when I tell her I just need space. I don't get girls, Bells."

I laugh at my brother. He's so lost.

"You might get them if you treated them like the women they are. You're too immature Jasper."

He scoffs but doesn't deny it. He is so different from Emmett and myself. We all blame middle child syndrome.

"Moving on, I heard from Emmett last night. He'll be up this weekend. Mom has roped him into the hospital gala."

"Really? That's great. I miss him. When does he get in?" I ask, before taking a drink of my sweet tea.

"Early Friday morning. He wants all three of us to have lunch."

I nod.

"How long can he stay?"

Jasper shrugs and takes a bite of his chicken enchilada. "I think he's planning on leaving Monday morning."

I sigh. I love that he'll be here but when he leaves, it hurts.

"Well I suppose three days is better than no days at all."

"Yeah, he said that he'd be here for Thanksgiving and Christmas this year though, so that's something."

I'm so excited about this news.

Emmett and I have always been closer than myself and Jasper. I'm not sure why, but that's how it's always been. Emmett makes me feel safe.

"I can't wait."

"How did that blood drive go?"

I'm sure I looked surprised.

"How did you know about that?" I ask reaching for my glass with my injured hand. I grimace. Jasper notices but doesn't say anything.

"Mom mentioned it yesterday. She said she hoped you didn't pass out."

I rolled my eyes and went to pick my glass. I stopped just before doing so though. Catching myself.

Jasper eyes my wrist.

"How did you hurt yourself this time?"

I can see the accusation in his eyes.

"I tripped."

It's lame and I know it. Jasper confirms by shaking his head.

"That's bullshit Bella."

And it is. It's a lot of bullshit.

"You know how clumsy I am Jazz. Besides I'm not the one who broke his finger falling off a bunk bed." I say with a raised brow.

Jasper laughs and just like that all suspicion is put on the back burner.

"Em pushed me off thank you very much and my finger bent all the way back!"

I laugh and Jasper sticks his tongue out at me. We focus back on our food.

"I love you, sis."

I look up and see Jasper looking at me. He's suspects but would never ask me. There's just a little too much doubt in his mind. One day he'll have enough evidence and he'll ask. I hope I'm still able to answer.

"And I love you."

Let me know what ya think!

I'm almost done with chapter 5 so as of right now the update will post next Friday.

Which reminds me-sorry this update is a day late. Like I said...RL = fail right now.

Exciting news! - Five of the most amazing girls ever (JMC, Bbebar,shackle_me, tg10781, Sophz456) & myself have started a blog! It's a fan fic reccing site but we also are going to be doing author interviews as well! Please visit & let us know what you think! You can also suggest fics to rec! www(dot)reccingball(dot)blogspot(dot)com! -(just take out the (dots) and put an actual dot..lol)-

For How Long banner is up on my profile. check it out! Love you Jess!

What I'm reading right now: Paper CutOuts by twistedcoincidence. check it out. love it!

twitter me: hayboo05

-rach.