Hello! Sorry for the delay. To make a short story short...my computer crashed and I lost what I had written already. So, I had to start over. So...yea. =)
Thanks to everyone who's reviewed and/or put this story on alert! Means a lot. Also, I got through a lot of the reviews but if I still haven't replied to yours, I'll get there! Promise!
My beta is kellyprovence & My pre-reader is Bbebar. I love them both. They really do amazing things for this story. xo.
PS...At The Hip readers, there's a note at the end of this for you. =)
Warning: For How Long deals with physical & emotional abuse. If these things offend you or are hard for you to handle then please don't read. It won't be anything too graphic but the abuse is still there.
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or it's characters. I do own this though.
For How Long - Floating
-Before I went under...you vowed to save me...before I drowned...you saved me-
The Banquet Hall looks beautiful. It's decorated with such class that it almost makes me feel unworthy of appreciating it. I hold on to Demetri's arm and we follow my parents while they make their social stops.
This is the part that makes Demetri uncomfortable. The amount of people he has no control over and the amount of people that could see him being unkind to me. The number of male eyes that are on me are far too great, though that would be his observation, not mine.
I smile slightly when I think of how unnerving this is for him. He's only earned it.
The dinner at the Cullen's went well. It was polite and nice. Nothing over the top happened and Demetri was the picture of perfection, as far as a husband goes. Alice even told me as such. I didn't speak much though. Not because I didn't want to, but because Demetri made it clear with his stern glances, and then occasional kick to my leg that my opinion on most matters, wasn't warranted.
Carlisle made it a point to speak to me directly quite a few times and that made it seem as though I wasn't being kept quiet. He again, had numerous questions in his eyes, and as he was walking us out, I made a vow to myself to tell him whatever he wanted to know. I was going to go the clinic before D came back from his trip.
Edward was brilliant all evening. He was the picture of perfection. I learned that while he had had a few serious girlfriends in both college and medical school, his career took far too much of his time and not many women appreciated that. He had an apartment downtown as well, and Esme was quick to point out that's where our apartment was. It turned out we were going to be only a couple of blocks away from each other.
"Bella!" I'm pulled out of my musings by Alice's voice. I hear her but have yet to see her energetic face.
I'm searching all around and still nothing.
"Boo!" I jump, yelp, and draw far too much attention to my family and myself.
"Alice, don't do that. You scared me!"
She's laughing with her hand over her mouth. Yeah, it's soooo funny.
Once Alice composes herself she gives me a once over. "You look beautiful, Bella. That shade of blue is magnificent with your skin tone."
I smile and run my left hand down the bodice of the midnight blue gown I purchased a few weeks back.
"Thank you. You look lovely as well." It's the truth. Her champagne colored gown looks gorgeous on her.
"Thank you. The Doctor Auction is in twenty minutes and I wanted to make sure you have your bidding number."
Up until this point, Demetri has been talking with my father and few hospital board members, but he quickly tunes in to the rest of our the conversation.
"Oh well, I wasn't planning on bidding, but thank you anyway."
"Nonsense. It's for a wonderful cause, and quite frankly all of the doctors up for bid would be lucky to have you bid on them."
"I don't think so, Alice." I say with a slight shake of my head.
She forces the paddle with the number sixteen across it, in my hand. "Just because you bid, doesn't mean you'll win, Bella. Even if you do, it's just a dance. It's not like you're marrying the guy!"
I don't want to look at Demetri's face right now. He's moved to holding my hand in his and he's grasping it quite hard. He's angry. Big surprise.
"Yes, Bella, you must bid. All the money goes to the hospital." My mother picks the worse subjects in which to offer her opinion.
"Here's yours, Mrs. Dwyer. I'll find you after the action, Bella. I have to go deliver Mom and Rosie's numbers. See you soon."
And with that, she's gone. Flitting through the crowd. Leaving me to pick up the pieces. I'd like to be angry at her but I can't be. It's not her fault she doesn't know.
"The men usually just sit down for the Doctor's Auction, Bella. The women always stand close to the stage."
I nod like I care.
"Yes, Demetri, I'll show you where us forgotten husbands sit whilst our women spend our money on rich doctors," my father chimes in. I'm sure he meant it as a joke but Demetri's face shows it to be anything but funny.
He leans down and whispers to me, "It'll do you well to remember who you come home to every night, wife." Then a kiss to my cheek.
I watch as he and my father walk toward our designated table for the dinner that follows the auction and dances. From what I gather, the winner of each doctor gets to dance with their "prize" two different times tonight. The times are designated and both the winner and doctor get to pick a song.
My mother grabs my hand and starts pulling me toward the stage where people are finishing up the set-up.
"Attention ladies, the Doctor Auction will start in ten minutes. If you haven't received a bidding number, please come to the table to left of the stage. Good luck!"
There is clapping and a few cat calls.
"Oh good, you two are bidding as well!" I look to my right and see Esme.
"Well, I have a paddle. I'm not sure if I'll be bidding," I respond with a smile.
"Bella, you have to bid on Edward. I usually do it so he doesn't have to dance with anyone he doesn't like, but I know he wouldn't mind if you won."
The thought of dancing with Edward is wonderful, but completely out of the question. Demetri would kill me.
"I'm sure a married woman bidding on such a charming bachelor isn't what the eligible ladies are looking forward to."
"That's the problem. There are too many girls here that always end up having one too many glasses of champagne. They practically throw themselves at him." She is shaking her head in that way that mothers do. "Also, I don't like the idea of drunken girls throwing themselves at Edward. High society or not."
"Alright ladies, the Doctor Auction begins now!"
The room erupts in cheers and applause.
I see Alice and Rosalie just to the left of us, but a little closer to the stage. I wonder if they're going to bid on their father and/or brother, as well.
"The first handsome doctor we're auctioning off tonight is Doctor Tyler Crowley! He's been on staff here at NMH for three years. He's single, loves to walk his Great Dane in the park on his off days, and his favorite food is Thai. The bidding will start at three-hundred dollars!"
After that paddles go up all over the place. Doctor Crowley is handsome. He has too much of a baby face for me though. After nearly ten minutes, the bidding stops when number twenty-two bids seven-hundred on him. He walks off with a very smug smile on his face.
"Our next doctor is none other than Doctor Carlisle Cullen." The MC has to stop for almost two minutes to let the applause and cat calls die down. I find it funny and start to laugh. Esme covers her face and mumbles something about having to face these women again.
"Now, I shouldn't have to tell any of you how amazing this man is but…I will! He's been at NMH for almost ten years, his family founded The Cullen Foundation, he loves to travel and paint, he enjoy oldies music when he's doing paper work and loves spending time with his family. Now, c'mon girls, let's start the bidding at three-hundred dollars!"
The bidding for Carlisle goes on forever, and in the end, Alice wins. She bid three-thousand dollars for her father. I smile. I would do the same for my dad.
Esme leans over and whispers, "She only let it get so high because she knows we'll be the one writing the check."
I laugh. That also sounds like me.
"Next up we have Doctor Andrew Benjamin! He's been on staff just over a year now. He likes to surf, play guitar and enjoys cooking foreign foods. He also keeps a vegetable garden! So, once again, let's start the bidding at three-hundred!"
We listen until number forty-five wins Doctor Benjamin with a bid of nine-hundred dollars.
"Now, last but not least, is the junior Doctor Cullen. Please welcome Doctor Edward Cullen!"
I can't stop myself from joining in with the applause. He looks so handsome on stage.
"Doctor Edward Cullen has been at NMH for two years, works out three times a week, plays piano as often as possible, and prefers to cook every meal. He wants to visit Australia one day and touch a kangaroo!" There are 'aww's' throughout the room. "So, let's find him a travel companion, ladies…three-hundred is the starting bid!"
At least thirty paddles go up. Esme's is not one of them. Poor Edward is going to go home with some drunken socialite. Unless he likes that sort of thing…
When the bidding reaches thirty-five hundred, less and less paddles go up. Number six seems determined to win him. I look to the girl and then to Edward's face. I frown. He doesn't look excited about this at all. The bidder, I mean.
"Thirty-five hundred going once, going twice-"
I see Esme's paddle go up and she bids four-thousand.
She leans over and whispers, "I don't like that Victoria girl. Man-eater is all she is."
I laugh and look back to Edward. He looks relieved. He sees me looking at him and offers a gentle smile.
The bidding ends and the MC ask for all winning bidders to come to the left of the stage to finish up the details. Mother and I head back toward the table and see the rest of the Cullen's there mingling with my family.
Except for Demetri, he's sitting at the table by himself with his Blackberry out. I would wonder what he was doing that couldn't wait until we left, but I have an idea. I don't know a name though…just that it's a girl. He starts to lift his head and I look away. I don't want to see that look on his face. The one that asks me what I'm going to do about it…because I will do nothing about it. There's no point. I don't want my husband, might as well let someone else have him.
"Mom bid on Edward again?" Rosalie asks.
"Yes, she saved him from a girl named Victoria," I answer while taking a glass of wine from a passing waiter.
"That girl is vile. She went to college with Edward. She only wants to sleep with him so she can brag to her friends. She's been trying to get with him since college," Rosalie explains.
"Yes, and he won't give her the time of day. He doesn't like fast and easy. He's a slow and smooth kind of guy," Alice chimes in.
I'm wondering why they're telling me such things. I want to know Edward better, sure, but not when it comes to the way he likes his intimacy. I have no use for the sort of information.
"Well, in any case, your mother saved him." Having nothing better to say.
"I spend more money bidding on my son then I do on decorating my home every two years." Esme's voice comes from behind me.
She comes over and starts telling Carlisle they'll need the check written and handed in before the end of the night.
He asks how much Edward went for this time and when the four-thousand dollar price tag is revealed, he nearly chokes on his brandy.
"Good grief, Ms. Worthington certainly is persistent. I'm going to go bankrupt if it continues like this."
"I wish the gold digger would just move on and find someone else to dig her claws in. She's absolutely wretched, and I hope Edward never loses his senses."
"Mother, could you be any less discreet?"
I turn and see Edward also take a glass of wine.
"Well, I'm sorry but she is all those things I mentioned. She';s not going to use you for bragging purposes," Esme says sternly. She's very serious about this.
"I'm a grown man and I'm not stupid. I can make my own decisions. I have no interest in the woman, so can we please stop talking about this?"
Conversations turn to other things and I find myself talking to Edward about music. I personally can't get enough of it and have many different tastes. He likes classical and jazz, mostly. I used to go jazz bars all the time when I was younger. I had this amazing fake ID that Emmett had made for me on my eighteenth birthday. He did the same for Jasper.
I haven't been since the weekend before my wedding. Mom insisted on taking me. She said it was something I loved and not to deprive myself of something enjoyable just because I was getting married.
"Have you been to Slow and Smooth?"
I snort. Literally, I snort and Edward looks at me with an amused look on his face.
I clear my throat and try to forget about what his sisters had said earlier. It would definitely seem that Edward was, in fact, a slow and smooth kind of guy.
"No, I haven't. Do you recommend it?"
"It's great. It's only been open a couple of months, but it's fantastic. You should check it out soon."
"I'd like that. I love jazz," I say softly, knowing that it probably won't happen.
"I know the owner fairly well, so I usually can get a really good table. If you decide to see what it's like, just let me know and I'll call for you." He says, finishing off his wine.
"Thank you, Edward."
I look over where Demetri was sitting and find his seat empty.
"Mom, where's D?"
She looks around, obviously unaware that he was missing and shrugs. "I don't know, sweetie." She turns her attention back to Esme and Carlisle.
"Do you need to go look for him?" Edward asks.
"No, it's fine." I don't want to go find him. He's had a bit to drink and he's probably talking to his girlfriend. Better her than me.
"Attention, the auction winner's and their doctors will be dancing in about five minutes. Please make your way to the dance floor." The MC announces.
"I should be embarrassed that I will be dancing with my mother, but it's better than the alternative."
"Yes, I've heard some things about the other bidder, " I say with a smirk.
He lets out a chuckle, "I can assure you everything you heard was the truth."
Before I can reply, Esme comes up to us.
"Sweetie, I have a work emergency, " she holds up her cell phone, "I'm not going to be in here for the dance. Both of your sister's have disappeared and I'm at a loss of who to ask."
"Well, we don't actually have to dance. It's fine. Go take care of your call," Edward says dismissively.
"No, you have to dance. I can't technically donate the check until you've fulfilled the dancing requirement, if you will. I signed a paper stating as much. "
Her eyes turn to me and I see the question before I hear it. I'm about to excuse myself before she has a chance to get the words out but she touches my arm.
"Bella, I wouldn't ask if I had another option but will you…well will you take my dance? I know you're a married woman and I shouldn't be asking but it's for charity and I'm sure Demetri would understand."
I'm about to say no because Demetri would most certainly mind. Then I look up at Edward and I see something there. I'm not sure what it is exactly. Happiness? Hopefulness? I can't say no. My mouth won't move and before I can even register what I'm doing, I nod.
"Oh honey thank you! You're a life saver and I'll be back in as soon as I can." She's gone after that. A blur of black. Her dress is beautiful and I can only hope to have her figure at that age.
"You don't have to do this, Bella. I can ask Vicci. She'll be more than happy to oblige," Edward offers.
"No, it's fine."
I'm not sure that it will fine be afterwards but it is right now. I look around and still Demetri is nowhere to be found. If it stays that way, then everything will be okay.
We make our way over to the MC just as she's announcing the dance. The dance will be to "Pain In My Heart"-Otis Redding is genius. I know the song well and judging by the smile on Edward's face, so does he.
We walk on to the dance floor with the other three winning couples.
Edward's left arm gathers me at the waist and his right hand reaches for mine. My right hand, in turn, rises to his shoulder. The song starts, he moves us, and I let go.
Pain in my heart
She's treating me cold
Where can my baby be?
Lord no one knows.
Edward can dance beautifully. He easily makes it seem that I possess the same dancing talent he does.
Pain in my heart just won't let me sleep
Where can my baby be?
Lord where can she be?
I look up at him and he's already staring down at me. A smile tugs at his lips.
"Are you enjoying yourself this evening, Bella?" he asks softly.
I sigh, but its content, because right now, I am indeed. "Yes."
Another day, as again it is tough
I want you to come back, come back, come back, baby, 'till I get enough
"This may be completely inappropriate and if so, I hope that you're not offended, but I would very much like to spend more time with you."
I don't answer right away; I just listen to the music and feel us move.
A little pain in my heart just won't let me be
wake up at restless nights
Lord and I can't even sleep
"It is quite inappropriate," I start and Edward frowns but nods his head, "But I would like that as well."
He wants to smile, I can see it tugging at his lips, but he knows this isn't something that should be regarded with a smile. I'm not sure what this is.
"We're just going to be friends, Bella. I'd never ask you to be unfaithful to your husband."
Again, it's like he can read my mind.
"I know that. Being unfaithful to Demetri will never be an option."
Stop this little pain in my heart
The look on Edward's face is asking me to explain. I mean surely the face value of the statement is enough, but he heard the sadness in my voice. He knows it's more than that. Still, he doesn't ask, not tonight. I've decided that if he does ask, I'll tell him.
Another day as again it's rough
I want you to love me, love me, love me, baby, 'till I get enough
Pain in my heart, a little pain in my heart-stop this little pain in my heart
Stop this little pain in my heart
Someone stop this pain-someone stop this pain
-xx-
"See the issue with this whole thing is…you agreed to it. You didn't object once."
Slap.
"You are my wife and you willingly hang all over another guy and I'm supposed to be okay with it because it's for fucking charity?"
Slap.
"D, I was just doing Esme a favor. They couldn't-"
Slap.
"Oh I'm sure there was a favor involved, Bella. What was going to happen, huh? Were you going to go out the back and show Edward what kind of dirty whore you are?"
He picks me up my forearms and throws me into the coffee table.
"I just don't understand you. Why must you always screw up?"
He's pulling me up from the floor by my hair. He's slapped my face at least a dozen times. He never touches my face. He's pissed. It's Sunday. He let himself sleep on my punishment. He said it like it was a gift.
His face is even with mine and in his eyes I see hate. Mine for him. His for me. There is no love there.
"You are my wife, damn it. You will not embarrass me like that again, do you understand me?"
He doesn't give me time to answer, though I'm guessing it was rhetorical question to begin with. He painfully grabs my face with his right hand and practically tosses me on to the sofa.
"When I'm done with you, you won't be able to leave this God damn apartment until I get back."
I'm not sure how many times he hits and slaps my face but eventually, the pain stops. Not because he has, but because my face is numb. Maybe it's just as tired as I am of all this shit.
He finishes with a kick to my stomach.
"I'm leaving tomorrow, by the way. I'll still be back Friday. You know the rules, Bella. I expect you to follow them."
The door to our room closes just before my swollen eyes do.
-xx-
It's Monday. Four-thirty.
Edward has been texting me all day. At first it was just too see how my Sunday went. After a couple hours of me not replying, he texted again asking if I was feeling alright. His texts are coming more frequently but I still refuse to answer one.
It's like he knows something's wrong. I can't see very well out of either eye right now, so I decide no one who text me today or tomorrow will be getting a reply. Also, I sound like I have a mouth full of food when I talk so no talking on the phone either. My jaw is so swollen.
Another text. Edward.
Bella….really…let me come make sure you're alright. I'll leave right after. Ten minutes tops.
I can't let him see my face like this. Saturday night I felt so resolved that I would tell him the minute he asked, but now, I don't think I would do it. Even with the evidence literally slapped across my face.
I hate to ignore him but I don't know what else to do.
I am trying to make some iced tea when there's a knock at my door. No one is supposed to be coming by and if it were a delivery, the front office would have called up.
I walk over and curse the apartment building for not having peep holes. What high rise in Chicago doesn't have a peephole? I take a deep breath crack the door open.
Edward.
I try to keep my hair where it covers at least my left eye. The eye he can see from the small opening in the door. He's already seen it though. The look on his face goes from concern to anger. I've made him upset too.
"Bella? Are you…are you okay?" he asks cautiously, like I could bolt at any moment.
"Edward, what are you doing here?" I can't help the irritation in my voice. I don't want him to see me like this.
"Let me in, Bella."
I shake my head. "No, just go, please. I'll call you tomorrow." I hate how I sound.
I go to shut the door but his hand stops it.
"Please, Bella."
I want to keep arguing but I'm so tired. Tired of fighting. I walk away from the door and head toward the sofa.
I hear the click of the door as he shuts it.
I sit and wait for him to come to me. He kneels so that he's eye level with my face. My black and blue disgusting face.
"What did he do to you, Bella?" If he had asked any softer, I wouldn't have been able to hear him.
Tears. I feel them stinging. I blink a few times and look away from him. I can't see the concern in his face right now. I don't deserve it.
"Is it because of the dancing, because of me?"
Again, I shake my head. I will not let Demetri make this wonderful human being feel bad for anything.
"No," I croak.
"Please tell me what happened."
I don't though. I sit there and I look back at him. His eyes are the windows to his heart. I see that. I want to get lost there.
"Bella, let me help you."
I sigh because it's not that easy. In words, yes but when it comes to all that 'helping me' involves, I don't want Edward apart of this.
"Please, just go." I whisper.
"I can't leave you alone like this. You could have facial fractures."
"I don't. It's just swollen and bruised. I've had ice on it all day. I'm getting ready to switch to heating pads. Now, please, go."
"My God, Bella. How many times has he hit you like this?" Edward asks with a look of disgust on his face. I cause this.
He continues, "Why won't you tell me what happened?"
I think of all the reasons and I tell him.
"There's no point in telling you or anyone else. Demetri would never let me go. Don't you understand that? I could go stay with my family but he would just come there and make it out to be my fault, or apologize and make me seem as though I made it all up. He'd convince people I was crazy or delusional. He'd take me away, Edward. He'd take me somewhere far away from my family. I'd die if I didn't have at least them." I can't help that I'm getting angry. I feel awful that I'm raising my voice to Edward though.
"No one would be able to protect me from him. He owns me. I have nothing that's just mine. Hell, even these bruises belong to him. There is no help for me and I refuse to let something as ugly as Demetri and this situation taint someone as amazing and beautiful as you."
I get up and walk away. I can't look at his green eyes anymore. They hurt too badly. They make me think that there's a way out when there isn't.
"Bella, wait."
I pause, though I'm not sure why.
"I'll help you. Come with me."
I can't help the tears now. They fall fast and they sting the cuts on my cheek.
"Why would you even offer to do something like that, Edward?"
He walks to me and takes my hands. He looks at me with those green eyes and I see why.
"Because you're amazing and beautiful, Bella."
I don't know that I believe him, and I won't agree with him helping me, but for right now, for today, I let him wrap me up in his warmth and I feel safe.
So...whatcha think? Letting me know would be wonderful.
I think the road is going to become a bit bumpy from here on out...but lots of different reasons!
I want to have the next chapter out by the weekend but I can't promise that will happen. I'm no longer on vacation so writing time will once again be limited. I'll try really hard though!
The song in this chapter is Pain in My Heart by Otis Redding. The link is on my profile. Check it out...it's amazing.
Check out The Reccing Ball. You'll find a great fic...i'm sure of it! www . reccingball . blogspot . com
At The Hip readers: As stated above, my computer crashed and with it went the 2,000+ words I had written. I'm going to work my ass off to get the chapter out asap...but be patient with me, please! (well even more patient then you've already been...cause you've definately been patient!)
Twitter me...hayboo05!
Thanks so much!
-rach.