A/N: main author's note at the end.
sorry this is a filler chapter... i'm a bit stumped at the moment... -cries-
warnings: WEIRDNESS, food fettish, fillerness. SERIOUSLY DON'T ASK I DON'T EVEN.
It was sick. They were all sick. Mattie was sick, Gilbert was sick, Ivan was sick, he was sick, at that moment in time the entire fucking world was sick. It was dead to him. Everything was. What had he done in his life to deserve this? All he'd ever done was try to be the hero, and that was what he was doing; saving his damsel in distress (Mattie) from the villain (Ivan). He'd finally done it.
So why did he feel like crap?
Oh, that's right, maybe because he was currently limping back and forth across the train platform because he was just raped by his mentally challenged art teacher who enjoys hanging upside down from lamp shades in his spare time and is permanently drunk. What an amazingly average life he leads.
"We regret to inform you that the train will be delayed by 7 minutes due to technological you for your patience and mind the gap."
Perfect. Just perfect. Such was his life.
He let out a barely audible groan and walked slightly faster, relying on the pain shooting up his backside as he did so to clear his head. He had never done anything to deserve this. In fact, he had done the opposite. He always tried to be a hero, always tried to be there for those who needed him. I mean seriously, of all the millions of delicious underaged children in the entire world, why him? Why the fuck him? As far as he could tell he didn't have any talents to speak of. He couldn't draw, sing, dance, write, he had failed almost all his subjects the year before and he wasn't even incredibly good looking.
Well, he was pretty good looking he thought.
I mean, if he had a clone or an identical twin or something he would SO tap that.
BUT THAT IS NOT THE POINT.
"We are to remind pedestrians not to ride skate boards on the platform. Have a nice day and mind the gap."
How old was Ivan anyway? Like fifty? Alfred wouldn't be surprised.
Even though he had a pretty fine ass for an old man.
NOT THAT HE WAS INTERESTED. No no, he was merely stating a fact. Yeah, yeah he was.
I mean, he could see where Matthew and Gilbert were coming from, Ivan was absolutely smoking. He couldn't deny it; no one could. Like, he was completely gay and yet he could still say the girl who sat next to him in geography was hot. Like way hot. Didn't mean he felt anything for her. Just that Ivan was... sexy. With really nice eyes... like absolutely gorgeous eyes... I mean he could stare at those things all day...
STILL NOT MEANING ANYTHING SUSS HERE FOLKS. The guy was still a communist bastard who needed help in the mental department.
Although a pretty hot one at that.
"Mind the gap please, mind the gap."
'What am I thinking?' Alfred thought to himself, 'You realise this is Ivan we're talking about here right? As is Ivan, your art teacher? You know, the one who uh, let's see, raped your brother multiple times? 'Member him? Yeah, you just called that guy hot.'
FUCK.
He was not hot. He did not have an adorable voice. His accent was not in the least the sexiest thing he had ever heard. Ivan was NOT cool, no sir!
But what was he thinking? Ivan had to be some sort of evil wizard or something... I mean, he managed to get not Gilbo, not Mattie, but Alfred trapped in his web as well?
NO! nonononono he was not trapped. He could up and leave whenever he wanted to right? Right?
Wrong.
He couldn't leave. Not without surrending Matthew to his tyranny. Alfred had never felt so angry at his brother in his life. How could he do this to him? How? This was all his fault! If only Matthew hadn't fucking let him into his pants this would never have started. He could be leading a normal, happy life with nothing remotely above his maturity level keeping him awake at night. Yeah, if there was anyone to blame here it was-
woah, woah there... he wasn't blaming his baby brother was he?
My God, what was wrong with him? Fucking his art teacher then mentally yelling at his darling little sibling afterwards, he didn't even recognise himself anymore!
And OH MY GOD I AM FUCKING MY ART TEACHER.
The words spun around and around in his head, filling it up till it was overflowing, pressing to the sides of his skull just begging for release. He wanted to vent, he wanted to yell and scream and cry and-
"Mind the gap sir!"
"I FUCKING KNOW YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME AGAIN."
Alfred blinked.
The security guard blinked.
The platform fell silent and stared at the now scarlet teenager, girls giggling and people giving him odd stares before slowly turning to mutter to each other.
Probably about how much of a fucktard he was.
Alfred looked down to realise that he was inches away from stepping right off the side of the platform and blushed even darker. "I-I'm sorry..." he murmured before turning to run in the opposite direction, hiding his face in his arm.
He was walking home today.
The next day was probably the most awkward freaking day of Gilbert's life.
When Matthew had finally woken he had immediately gotten down on his hands and knees and begged for forgiveness, throwing away all his last few threads of dignity to do so, only to be gifted with the response of a blush, a giggle and finally a question. "What are you apologising for Gilbert?"
"L-Last night?" he said, eyes widening. Could it be that Mattie didn't remember...?
"What happened?"
"Er... nothing. Oh look we're late for school let's go hahaha!" He then wasted no time in scurrying out of the house to Mattie's cries for him to wait up.
"Man, you must the most selfless, brave and awesome person on the planet besides myself..."
Alfred pouted, avoiding Gilbert's awe filled eyes. "What else am I meant to do? He's my baby brother..."
"Yeah... look, you're doing the right thing here. We have to keep Ivan away from Mattie as much as we possibly can. If I ever feel him leaning back my way I promise I'll deal with him ja? Just try to put up with it for now."
"Yeah... Just don't tell him okay?"
"What do you take me for? A dummkopf?"
Alfred was about to ask what the hell a dummkopf was when Gilbert paled considerably, his eyes fixed on something behind him. Turning slowly, the American found him face to face with Ivan.
"Alfred! Dorogoy! Come with me, I have a surprise for you!"
He glared. "Really sir? During lunch? Isn't that a little suss?"
"Ohoho little Alfred," he giggled, "Just come with me, it's a treat, trust me~" And with that he turned and walked off, obviously assuming that he would be followed.
"Viel gluck." Gilbert said patting him on the shoulder before leaving Alfred to follow the Russian to his doom.
The closet was a little dusty, but roomy enough to move around in. It was the same one Ivan disappeared into during art class, full of canvases and old paintings by students. Of course, behind them all you could find hundreds upon thousands of vodka bottles. Ivan hardly even bothered hiding them properly anymore; everyone knew anyway and he only did it to keep the school off his back.
Alfred stretched like a cat and gave his teacher a bored expression. "Okay, go. What is it you want?"
Ivan pouted at him, feigning a hurt look. "What is it you mean podsolnechnik? I merely wish to give you a little present in gratitude of all you've done for me."
"What do you mean all I have done for-" Alfred was cut short by the sight of his teacher letting his coat fall to the ground to reveal a massive bulge sticking out of his pants. It was weirdly shaped too, with a strange bulk around the middle. "What the fuck?" He breathed.
His eyes widened to the size of dinnerplates as Ivan popped the button of his trousers and shimmied out of them, putting his hands behind his back and leaning against the wall, watching with an amused smile as Alfred slapped a hand to his face.
"Okay... let me get this straight... you want me, Alfred Fucking Jones, to eat a donut off that... that... thing?"
"Primorsky."
"What?"
"His name is Primorsky. Please do not refer to him as an object, it hurts his feelings."
Why wasn't Alfred surprised? "Pff, whatever... but you realise I've never... done that before right? I'm not sure how to-"
"Just eat the donut. That's all you have to do."
Alfred shuddered and nervously started to move closer to the Russian. Oh god he did not want to do this... just the thought of it in his mouth made him shudder... and it was so big too... and... and... oh god this was really happening wasn't it?
He nervously kneeled down and stared at it for a moment. He swore it was staring back... ugh. And it smelt like... like... donut... only mixed with that weird, musky smell. Like... man donut. Was he really about to give head to a man donut?
Apparently yes, yes he was.
Not wanting to keep Ivan waiting any longer, he took a deep breath and cocked his head to the side, closing his eyes and leaning forward to take a bite out of the donut. He could feel his hair brushing against the skin and he shivered as his cowlick was touched lightly. Close up like this he could feel the heat radiating off him and he quickly pulled away again, taking his time to chew and swallow the greasy pastry. Defiled as it may be, it was still a pretty decent donut and he would be damned if he was going to be letting it go to waste. So, he took another bite. And another. And another. It was then that he stupidly opened his eyes and was violently reminded of what he was eating it off.
A sudden wave of nautia swept through him and he quickly closed his eyes again, trying to refill his brain with other thoughts. Kittens... think of soft, fluffy kittens... so warm and cute, with wet little noses and twitching whiskers tickling his cheeks as their rough little tongues lapped at his skin... Smiling, he allowed himself to take yet another bite, his mind now full of images of kittens poking their tiny little delicate heads out of cups, huddling together and playing, their padded paws batting playfully at each other's ears, their fur so thin it was nearly transparent. Awwww...
He reached in for yet another bite only to come to a sudden realisation.
There was no more donut left.
Oh fuck.
It's okay, he thought, now I just need to... lick the crumbs off... or something...
Alfred squeezed his eyes tight and grit his teeth hard before licking up the underside of the throbbing organ in front of him. Hearing a tiny, encouraging sound from the man towering above him, he tilted his head and licked up the other side, this time flattening his tongue a little to give more broad strokes. Hm, once you got past the initial shock man donut didn't taste all that bad... I mean, it was far from good, but it wasn't necessarily terrible or anything. Donut is still donut after all.
He continued lapping at Ivan, content with slowly licking off the globs of icing stuck onto the sides. Flicking a particularly fat piece off with the tip of his tongue, he felt a hand wind its way into his hair and push him forward slightly, giving him a silent message to keep going.
All right, all right, I'm getting there, he scolded silently. With one more lasting lick he took a deep breath and paused, mentally preparing himself for what was going to happen. He had never done this before so he wasn't entirely sure of what to do, but he figured he'd just... put his mouth on it and hope it'd come naturally to him.
And so, he opened his mouth wide and leaned forward, feeling the massive heat of Ivan's manhood slipping into his mouth and filling it bit by bit. He kept pressing forward, hands gripping onto the back of the Russian's thighs as his heart raced inside his chest, threatening to jump out at any second. He resisted a shudder as he felt it stretching his throat, filling it to the point where it almost hurt as it moved further down his oesophegus. Thank god for no gag reflex... he thought gratefully.
When he finally had the entire thing in his mouth, he held it there for a minute, hearing a satisfied sigh from Ivan before he began to pull his head back, wrapping a hand around the base as it left his mouth and, agonisingly slowly, released it with a wet pop.
Sitting back on his haunches for a moment to catch his breath, he had barely gotten the head back into his mouth before Ivan's hand tightened and forcefully impaled his head onto his cock, resting there for barely a second before wrenching it off and thrusting back into it just as fast, thoroughly fucking his mouth without giving a second thought to Alfred who was choking out of surprise and lack of oxygen, tensing from the sudden invasion making it all that much worse.
It wasn't long before Ivan thrust one last time into the hot cavern and came hard inside, holding it there until he was spent.
Once he was finally released Alfred flopped back onto his elbows, chest heaving as he sucked in mouthfuls of air, eyes still shut tight.
Ivan crouched down until their eyes were on the same level and he grabbed Alfred's chin, squeezing it until his eyelids lifted to reveal watery blue. "Alfred~" he sang, "You're not quite as good as your brother was. We'll have to work on that da?"
Alfred nodded dumbly before he was released so suddenly he fell onto his back, not bothering to get up when Ivan walked off with a bounce in his step, humming a sort of russian tune – was that Tetris? - as Alfred lay there feeling thoroughly violated.
A/N: OH MY GOD. This chapter... this damn chapter... I rewrote it about 745687348675 times no kidding... stupid thing just wouldn't do what I told it to o_e
AND THEN my computer (named Gilbert for certain yaoi reasons) decided it would be simply hilarious to just delete the whole thing. And when I finally wrote it again, I found the old one. THANK YOU GILLY, YOU ARE SUCH A HELP.
Oh and no, no Alfie does not have a beastiality fettish. That was just me being a retard at 1am.
While watching lord of the flies. THE LATEST MOVIE SUCKS. IT JUST... SUCKS. -goes on long rant about how bad it is-
May be updating more often from now on. Either that or I'll be rewriting all the previous chapters. I'M STILL NOT HAPPY WITH THEM.
AND NOW TO EXPLAIN DONUT SCENE: my darling korea -glares- asked me to write "fruit loops tangled in pubic hair". I refused because... well, because gross, and offered to write that instead.
I know it's OOC but... but... it was fun! -hides-
and alfiekins has no feelings for ivan. He literally is just saying he is mildly good looking.
Yet, at least... ;)
Oh and my birthday passed recently. If you want to know my age it's x2 + 11x – 60 = o. change the negative to positive and decide which of the two answers I am. It won't be a hard decision, trust me.
But seriously, someone try to figure that out. I dare you.
I will even let you yell at me for how underaged I am.
You know.
so yeah, ALL I ASK OF YOU GUYS AS A PRESENT IS YOUR LOVE in review form of course ;D
OH OH OH and also, I need a beta. My old one betaed one chapter and got bored of it. Apparently he's a rochu fan -glares- so if anyone wants to do that give me a yell da~
…...i need to stop writing such long author's notes about nothing =.=