Chapter 25: Unanswered Words

Bella,

I'm sorry. I'm sorry I never fixed things with us. I wished for so long that all those things had never happened between us but I suppose we are danger magnets. But don't sound so down Bells, you will be back, won't you?

You asked for a long letter, and I'm between patrols right now, so here goes.

The guys told me everything. It took some time, but they told me. I feel sick just thinking about it, Bells. Thinking about how I could have stopped it… or you. if I had just kept my head, but I'm jelly when it comes to you. But they are sorry too - extremely sorry. I very nearly killed all of them when they told me. I found it very hard to escape the house before… well, you know. But I can't stay mad at them because I've seen their thoughts. I know how sorry they are, and they are my brothers. I hope when you come home you can find it in your heart to forgive them.

It was actually Leah who first opened my eyes. And since then she's been a little nicer to me. Between me and you, she's never THAT nice, but not a complete bitch. And she hasn't got it in so bad for you anymore. I think she genuinely felt sorry for you, when they were all dissing you (again, sorry).

Life is so boring since you've left. It's been two months now and it's snowing all the time. It sucks because we have to hide out in case people see us walking around in shorts all the time. But the snow is great for finding tracks and also great for hiding them. There has been no sign of any leeches since you left, but we are keeping an eye on Charlie all the same. Billy has been keeping him company a lot. But they can't really fish now in this weather. Christmas was good, Charlie spent it with us and the Clearwater's. Emily and Sam came over too, with a huge cake.

Emily is pregnant. Leah told me a few weeks ago, and I noticed then. It's great; imagine, Sam a father. But Em will make a great Mom. I think they will have to get married soon. But there is also bad news. Harry Clearwater is sick again, and they don't think he will pull through. We're all hoping for the best, but Seth and Leah are still worried all the time. Sue hasn't left his side for a week.

Everyone here is the same after that, Paul and Rachael have moved into our house together, so I'm tortured by his every other minute that I'm actually here. I do a lot of patrol, just to get out of the house. Jared and Kim have also moved in together, in Paul's old house. The whole pack got together and renovated a little for them. And poor Quil is babysitting every other night, but Claire's Mom seems to love it. She gets to spend lots of time with Emily and she knows Claire is in good hands.

Actually, you know if I think about it, there's only another three months and you will be home again.

And Bells, please remember, I am here always waiting for you, and your heart is being kept warm. That is also in good hands.

Write back, and tell me all about Jacksonville.

Love, Jake.

Bella,

You haven't wrote back and it's been three weeks. I don't know if mail gets to you okay or not, or if you maybe are studying too hard to write back. Sorry I don't have email or anything.

Things have been horrible.

Harry passed away, but I'm sure you know from Charlie already. The pack is really mourning his loss. Seth and Leah haven't been the same since. Dad is upset all the time, but at least we have Rachael home and she's good at taking care of him. I have to do even more patrol now, because there aren't as many wolves available to us.

I'm actually sitting on Emily's kitchen worktop writing this, and I'm on my first break in two days. But I thought I would write you before I slept.

We caught a trail yesterday, but never caught it up. But never have we smelled that scent since you left. I hope you're ok and safe down there.

I'm very tired, shattered actually, so this letter is short, sorry.

Love you, Bells.

Jake.

Bella Swan.

It's been a month and a half. Six weeks. And nothing. I can understand if you're angry at me. I can understand if your studying. But there is such a thing as a telephone. I know you have been calling Charlie and emailing your friends from school, so why not me?

Even if you're only calling to say 'Leave me alone, Jake'. Please, do. I would love to hear your voice.

Dad is shaping up well now, and so is Charlie, but you know this. Leah and Seth still aren't the same, but that can only be expected. I tried to be nice to Leah, a lot. It helps a little, but she's been through too much alone to know what a helping hand looks like.

God, I miss you.

You know, only another 8 weeks and you will be home. I hope. Unless you want to have a holiday for a bit with your Mom and have no school to worry about. I bet you haven't even seen the sun yet, if I know you. Keep that SPF on ya anyway!

Please call when you're coming home, I am torturing Charlie day in, day out. He keeps putting me off asking questions about you. I heard you're doing well in school. And that you're working in another coffee shop. Better not tell your old boss, if you ever want to work for her again. She would feel betrayed (joking, joking).

Emily is huge now. It looks like she could almost burst out a mini-wolf. She's almost eating as much as us too. Only another four months and we will have our baby. I've been calling it September (she's due on the 2nd), just for now. I even went out and bought some wood, to make a little toy of some sort for it. Any ideas?

Call me, please.

Jake.

Nearly three months Bella, and you haven't even bothered to call. Dad told me to stop writing to you, but I don't want to. I want you to know all of the news when you get back, so we only have time to make up. If you still want to…

You're making me worry. Please call. I think this will be my last letter. I've written a ton more, but I couldn't send them. I think I just like how it feels to put thoughts on paper. Once they're not it my head, the guys can't read them. I hate them being in my head all of the time. Although they haven't been such asses since their major fuck-up.

I really hope your enjoying Florida, well, you must be, Bells.

I feel lost, probably because I'm praying these letters have been lost in the post but I have a feeling they aren't. no, I know they aren't. Because Charlie was talking to Dad about how he was on the phone with you. About how he said 'Jake's keeping well.', and you said, 'I know'.

But me being lost isn't the half of it. It hurts that's your away and won't even talk to me. It really kills me. I can do nothing but go for long runs to clear my head. I think I made Canada somewhere the other day. Then Sam ordered me home again. Patrol's to do because he's looking after Emily more and more.

This just won't work, all of this writing I'm doing. I don't think I ever wrote this much in school. Oh, by the way, I have left school. I haven't had the time, not with patrols. I think when things calm down here, I'll try do a course, maybe. I'd like to work on cars for real, not just jobs for the guys.

I hope you are keeping okay, and Renee. Charlie is missing you too, that's for sure.

Bye, Bells.

Jake.

Dear Bella,

I know I said I wouldn't write again, but its been six months. Charlie said you're staying extra, so I thought I'd catch you up.

It's been sunny here for some time and Emily is complaining of being too hot all the time. She refuses to cook us any food, so Kim has offered to come and do it for us. Emily just sits all day and winces, she is suffering badly, this is a big baby. Sam is worried for her. The reason I'm talking about this is I have just spent ten hours straight with Sam on patrol, so it's hard to get it out of my head. Anyway, only another two months and there we have it, a baby. We are all convinced it will be a boy, but how can you be sure. Emily has bought all white things for it, Sam showed me.

So how are you? Congratulations on graduating. All of the pack say it too. Emily says as soon as she's able, she'll make you a cake, so that she can celebrate it with you. I talked about it with her for hours the other night. She couldn't sleep, and I was just back from the woods. We talked about how much we would love to throw you a party when you get home. How much I miss you. How much I want you back here. It's the first time in my life to have actually spilled my guts out to Emily for real. I tell her things always, but not that stuff. She kind of helped me.

Leah also said to say that when you're back, go and see her because her Mom is emptying her old clothes and she said she used to be your size. It's a wonder your Dad didn't say, he's been spending a lot of time with Sue. Dad says it's been good for Sue to find a friend in your father. God knows she needed it.

Anyway Bells, I'm cutting this letter off.

I can't wait for you to come HOME.

Jake.

Hey Bella,

It's Emily. God, it feels weird to be writing this letter after all this time. I know you're coming home soon, so don't hurry to write back. I just wanted to tell you all about how we've all been. And I am so excited for you to return.

I hope you are okay with me writing to you, and for me stealing your address over Jake's shoulder. He writes a lot these days. Speaking of which, I was chatting with him the other night. He seems really down. Not even in his old kind of way where he would just freeze up. He's all… soft? I don't know how to explain it. He's like a pushover, too nice all the time, too polite, not his usual Jake at all. And the guys have him run ragged with patrols, but he just keeps going. He spends his spare time in the garage and then writing, I assume to you.

Just call him Bella. For me? Oh, I need you home by the way, to help me decorate the baby's room. We have another while, but I'm so excited. I can't wait for it to meet us all, and especially you. Because I am so proud of you Bella, and I am so ashamed of us. I really hope you can forgive us.

I hear you've graduated, well done. We will have a party. At my place. And it will be great. Kim can help me make some of my cakes and muffins and then we'll get all dressed up and do it properly. So, please say you'll come?

We have new wolf girls now, but I would say you know. There's me, Kim, Rachael, Sara, Beth and Claire. Sara is Brady's imprint. She's a very nice girl, just maybe not suitable for my kitchen. And you know Rachael, Jake's sister from when you were little. And of course, Beth, she's Colin's girlfriend, sort-of. He didn't imprint on her, but she's the daughter of a council member and somehow she knows everything. They are mainly very… animalistic. To say the least. Ha. Claire is Quil's imprint and she's still only a baby. Quil is such a nanny right now, but he makes a perfect one.

Right, I have to end this letter, my baby is kicking and I am seriously hungry. And it's roasting, so I think I'll go take a shower. Kim sends her best wishes, as does Seth. He's here now, helping me around the house because Sam is away.

All our thoughts,

Emily. x

A.N: Hey, It's been too long... Sorry.