AN: And, yet another sad chapter. What will we do? lol

"Bryce, please…" I pleaded with him as I struggled to keep him bouncing and screw on the top of his baby bottle. But he paid no attention to my complications, and continued to let loose loud high pitched screeches. "I know you're unhappy," I complained. "But I'm seriously trying my best alright? You've just got to have a little patience with me."

I'd gone without sleep for eighteen hours now, and it wasn't looking like that would change for me anytime soon. If he wasn't hungry, it was his diaper. If it wasn't his diaper, he was too cranky to go to sleep. If it wasn't crankiness, he was colicky. The list went on and on as I felt like I was falling deeper into a hole that I was digging for myself.

"Alright, try this." I said holding out the bottle and placing the nub in front of his lips. His eyes which had stayed the same blue shade as mine were flickered up to meet mine from where he was lying in my arms. He opened his mouth tentatively and suckled for a moment. "That's right," I cooed leaning against the small kitchen counter of our apartment. But I spoke too soon because he quickly scrunched up his face and shoved the bottle away with two tiny fists before scratching out again.

"I know," I groaned closing my eyes and tilting my head up towards the ceiling while he flailed his limbs in frustration. "I feel the same way."

But somewhere we went wrong

I tried to think clearly through the piercing screams that somehow came from the tiny lungs of a two and a half week old baby, and my mind conjured up a memory.

"You know, I don't care that all of these classes talk about how tired and frustrating being a new parent is." Sonny said thoughtfully, holding my hand as we exited the community center that was offering classes for expecting parents.

"Really? All the warnings about not showering for weeks on end doesn't worry you?" I asked skeptically.

"Well, actually that fact did worry me a bit. But, I'm actually excited for getting up late at night." I stopped in my tracks and just stared at her wide eyed. "Come on Chad, don't give me that look." She laughed.

"You're excited for getting up at 2 am to feed and change a tiny wailing creature?" I asked, trying to make it sound like the strangest thing in the world.

"No, but I am looking forward to waking up when it's just me and the sunrise, and lovingly care for our child." She said grinning.

"How is it that you managed to make changing a diaper sound appealing and romantic?" I laughed in disbelief taking back her hand and walking towards the parking lot once again.

"Oh you know, I'm just good at these things." She winked. "And wait and see, I have a feeling that you're going to be hovering right next to me." She squeezed my hand reassuringly when I swallowed the lump that had just formed in my throat. "We're going to make a great team."

We were once so strong

"See? That's mommy, and that's you." I said pointing to a picture of Sonny smiling and waving from a towel on the beach while placing a loving hand over her then recently swollen belly. Bryce of course didn't respond unless you counted the slow blink of his thick lashes. "And that's your baby shower."

I flipped the glossy page of the scrapbook and smiled. "That cake was all for you." I placed my finger on the picture of Sonny holding out a giant piece of double chocolate cake decorated in baby blue frosting. Bryce slapped down a wet hand on the page and laughed from his spot leaning in my lap. "Ah ah, careful," I warned gently picking up the slobbery hand and wiping it off on my jeans. He let out a gurgle of happiness and I couldn't help but smiling lovingly down at him.

"Yeah, you're real glad Aunt Lucy and Tawni worked so hard on this for you aren't you? Just so you could get you're grubby little hands on it." I tickled his stomach playfully causing him to babble out a laugh. "You have no idea how long it took them and grandma to get all these pictures together do you?" I leaned down and planted a big kiss on his forehead before turning the page again.

"That's mommy playing you a song." I explained, letting my eyes wander over the photographs of Sonny sitting on various places around our old house with a guitar in hand strumming away. Sometimes aware of the camera and smiling at the lens, but other times trapped in a candid moment with a look of concentration creasing her brow. "She would just sit there for hours plucking away and making up words as she went along." I smiled at the memories of her singing while I leaned against a doorway listening until she would turn around and catch me eavesdropping.

"Go away!" She complained throwing a pillow in my direction and I ducked as it sailed over my head.

"Hey! This is my house too!" I complained grinning cheekily. "Besides, I like listening to you."

"But it's all nonsense you know, it's not any good and I'm certain you have better things to do, like, oh I don't know, put together a crib maybe?" I scoffed while she smirked.

"Fine," I complained stalking off.

"Good!" She called after me laughing and striking a chord playfully.

"She really loves you, you know that right?" I said closing the book carefully.

Our love is like a song

I laid back, eyes closed and hands placed palms down over my lids.

"Breathe." I mumbled as a reminder to myself, taking slow methodic breaths of air. It was quiet and dark in my room and I tried to just let the stillness swallow me up. But instead it just reminded me of all the nights that weren't quiet, all the nights I wasn't alone.

"Chad, are you asleep?" She whispered leaning over into my ear.

"Apparently not," I grumbled but smiled in the faint light coming from the lamp beside our bed.

"Good," She said rolling back over and lying on her back.

"What that's it?" I asked propping myself up on one elbow and blinking in the dimness.

"Yeah, I'm too uncomfortable to sleep, so I didn't think you should get to." She said glancing at me from the corner of her eyes.

"You're kidding me. That's really the reason you had to wake me up?" I laughed, catching her off guard.

"You aren't mad?" She asked slowly sitting up herself and leaning with her back against the headboard and her hand resting on her stomach.

"No, should I be?" I raised my eyebrows smugly.

"Yes! The whole reason I woke you up was to get a little enjoyment out of your reaction!" She glared at me. "But you just had to ruin that didn't you?"

"Oh yeah Sonny, my goal in life is foil all of your plans." I rolled my eyes and laid back down.

"Obviously." She grumbled switching off her lamp and throwing the room into darkness. I felt the bed shift as she settled down next to me."Chad?"

"Are you really going to try this again?" I asked apprehensively.

"No," She said softly through a smile that couldn't be seen but was evident in her tone. I turned on my side so that I was facing her body and wrapped an arm around her to pull her snuggly against me. "But I do love you," She whispered.

"I always love you. Even when you bug me," I grinned into the dark and placing a chaste kiss on her lips.

"Why is everything so hard?" I asked my ceiling, or maybe it was the sky. Sometimes it seemed I talked to anything that would listen, but there was one person that I would give anything to have another conversation with, hell even a cheesy one liner joke would suffice. That's how bad I hurt.

You can't forget it

AN: Good grief. Can I just say that finals suck? Seriously, I have at least one test everyday this week, and more than one test on at least two days. Not a pretty picture. At all. Anyone else feel my pain?

BTW, did anyone watch the So Random! season premire? I did, it was alright, funny and all that, although I didn't have a clue who that musical guest was, thought he might be Justin Beiber's younger cousin... And I was still sad that there isn't a real plot because there is no Sonny. Anyone know if their going to come up with a reason for that or not? Like is she "busy" with something else? Plus, when they were all "here's our new cast mate, Chad Dylan Cooper!" it was cute and all, but in all honesty, Chad would probably never do that. Yeah, he's on calm terms with them (or at least was at the end of last season) but really? Join the cast? Really? Well, that's just me being picky? What say you? Review? lol, rhymes...

Cheers!

RedHeaded4Always