AN: Okay, so this is the last real chapter of this story and it's the longest, by like 2,000 words, yay! haha :) I might do an epilogue if I'm asked nicely, but who knows, I might be too sad from this story to ever think about writing ever agian (lol, COMPLETE lie). Well, on with the show!
BTW, disclaimer, big shocker here, I don't own sonny with a chance. But, I do happen to own Bryce. What a lucky person I am... :P
"I know this isn't what anyone wants to hear. But you may want to consider the possibility of taking her off of the life support ventilator." The doctor said slowly, meeting my eyes with a tentative stare.
"What?" I asked the doctor with an astounded expression. I was sitting on the floor on a blanket with Bryce, watching him fiddle with a rattling stuffed animal and try to roll from his stomach onto his back.
"She isn't showing strong brain functions, and there is really nothing we can do to help solve that problem. Usually this would occur because of age, but as we both know Sonny is still young, which leads me to believe that she isn't responding because of the length of time she's been comatose." I felt my jaw drop at his words and blinked slowly taken aback.
"But it's only been three months. I know people who come to visit their family members on this ward who have been here years." What I didn't mention was that there were also the families who left the hospital with tears having said their last good-byes.
"This is true, but the facts remain that she is showing very little function at all." He said in a firm voice, making me think that he had maybe been on duty too long and just wanted to get away.
"She's strong." I said, maybe to comfort myself more than to convince that doctor as I dropped my gaze and instead focused on Bryce clap his hands and squish his Rattle Bear between them before looking back at me and laughing. "Good job buddy," I said softly.
"I know it's a difficult thing to grasp, and it could take a little time to come to terms with. I'm going to send the papers home with you to look over before you make your decision, which I'm sure, will be for the best." I nodded silently as the doctor sighed and walked out of the room.
He wanted me to pull the plug? Just let her heart stop beating and move on? No, of course that wasn't what he was suggesting, but the thought still stung. There was no way I could move on. If she wasn't here it would just become Bryce and I. I reached out and pulled Bryce up and close to my chest. I nuzzled my face into the soft skin on his neck and breathed in the sweet baby smell while he gurgled a laugh, taking the situation much lighter than I was.
What would he do without a mom? Sure he still hadn't really had one yet, but I hadn't thought ahead at the prospect of him not ever coming home from school to be greeted by her bright smile and a loving hug.
Later that night I sat at the kitchen table in Bryce and I's small apartment browsing the internet and scanning the pages of paper work the doctor had given me. The lights were dim and all I could hear was soft static coming from the baby monitor. I ran a hand through my hair for the thousandth time and sighed in frustration.
"What the hell am I going to do?"
But somewhere we went wrong
"We'll give you some time alone." I stiffly acknowledged the nurse as she let herself out of the room and wrapped one of my arms tighter around Bryce's waist while he bounced around sitting on my lap. I reached forward with the other and took hold of Sonny's left hand and just caressing it in my own.
In the past week so many people had passed through this room, tear streaked with good-byes and I love you's bubbling off their lips. Now it was my turn, and I felt about ready to shatter. If I hadn't already.
I had promised I wouldn't cry, but felt no shame in it as tear after wet tear dropped from my eyes and landed on my pant leg. I wouldn't be surprised if Bryce began to think that crying was a normal thing for someone to do every day, it had certainly been true enough thus far in his life.
Bryce unsteadily lunged forward and patted his hands on top of Sonny and I's intertwined ones giggling to himself at his fun new game. I felt a stab of pain realizing that the moments Bryce got to spend with Sonny were few as it was, but eventually he would forget them as he grew. He would have no recollection of this room, or her face, as gaunt and palled as it was. Wouldn't be able to look back on the brief moments when he would pause and look curiously at Sonny lying in bed. He didn't know that he needed to say goodbye, although he never even got to say hello. Neither of them did. And they never would.
"Bryce, do you know how much your mommy loves you?" I said into his ear, and he whipped his head around to look at me, his hands remaining on top of my own. "She was so happy when she found out you were coming, she called all her friends; Aunt Tawni and Lucy, and we both called our parents and told them that they were going to be grandparents." His eyes remained locked on mine, eyebrows furrowed slightly, as if trying to follow my every word. I only wished he could. "And when we got to see you for the first time on the ultrasound, she started crying and laughing at the same time. She took such good care of you, ate everything the doctor said, and followed your every craving order. Which she wasn't always happy about, especially because she hates strawberry ice-cream and that seemed to be the only thing you could think about." I laughed at the memory.
"You have got to be kidding me," She groaned from the lawn chair she was resting in by the pool.
"What?" I asked pulling myself up a bit and resting over the edge still dripping wet. She gave me the look and I laughed immediately.
"Really? Again? I think this kid might drive you crazy if he keeps demanding food you despise." I clambered up and out of the pool rubbing my wet hair with a towel quickly and walking in her direction. "But I'll go get you your strawberry ice-cream like the loving husband that I am." I placed a quick kiss on her cheek while she pouted, suppressing a smile.
"And she religiously tried to educate you musically." I back for a moment grinning.
"What are you doing?" I asked hesitantly walking into our bedroom to find Sonny lounging on our bed with headphones pressed to her stomach.
"Introducing our child to the wonders of Beethoven," She said reading out of the parenting book in her hands before looking up and grinning. "It's supposed to stimulate his brain and lead to a higher level of focus later in life."
"As long as it's not the 'Your Baby Can Read' nonsense I'm fine with it." I chuckled, laying down across the bed and placing my ear to her belly. "Wow."
"What? What is it?" She asked curiously.
"I think you bored him to sleep." I said pulling away and smirking.
"Shut up, he's going to thank me for helping him become so smart someday, and I'm going to take all the credit." She said smacking me lightly on the back of my head.
"What ever you say dearest," I sang out in a high pitched voice before shoving myself up and off the bed so she couldn't hit me again.
"She loves you so much." I clenched my eyes shut and placed a tender kiss into his darkening blonde hair.
Our love is like a song
"I'm going to take good care of him. I promise that on top of everything else." I said looking at Sonny's passive face. Bryce joined Sonny and I's parents out it the waiting room after he had sat here quietly playing with Sonny's hand for half an hour. At that point he began to fuss and I had taken him into the other room. "He's going to be fine. We both will, I just wish you were going to be there too." I bit my lip, waiting for more tears to spring forth, but nothing happened. My eyes didn't become glassy, and I didn't get that irritable feeling way back behind them that told me when I was about to lose it. I was all cried out, and all I could do was tremble in anxiety.
"I'm sorry I've put you through so much grief. Both before and after all this happened." I fidgeted with her fingers gently. "I only ever teased you for the fun of it, even when we were young. You were the prettiest thing I had ever seen, and you made me feel so self conscious that the only things I could get to come out of my mouth were stupid.
"You were honestly the best thing that's happened to me. I don't know where I'd be if you hadn't gotten me to change my ways from being a pig headed idiot. And I will never be able to tell you how much I love you." I breathed out slowly and cleared my throat.
"I'm going to miss you so much. You are the most beautiful person I have ever known, both outside and in. I wish you noticed how easily you lit up a room. All you had to do was walk in and it would suddenly feel ten times brighter. And god, when you laughed nobody else could help but laugh with you." That was the truest fact in the world.
"If I could take your place you know I would." I spoke softly. "You deserve to be here more than anyone I know. Bryce should be able to know you and how brilliant of a person his mom is. I pray to god that he'll turn out like you." I smiled sadly. "The world can't go without someone with a personality as bright and sunny as yours." I thought back quietly.
"Do you remember our wedding night? When we had to sleep on the plane because our flight to London got delayed so long?"
"I'm sorry this isn't quite the romantic hotel suite I promised you." I said sheepishly, adjusting myself in the first class seat.
"Shush. I don't mind it as long as it's you sitting next to me." She said, and I swear her face was glowing in the dark plane cabin.
"You're too nice." I said laughing and leaning down to kiss her lightly.
"So I've been told." She said dryly sticking her tongue out at me and narrowing her chocolate eyes playfully. She snuggled deeper into the crook of my arm and sighed contently. I wrapped my arms around her shoulders and waist tightly, and leaned my cheek against her brown curled hair.
"I promise, I'm never going to let you go." I purred into her ear.
"Good, because I don't ever want you to." She said tilting her head up and kissing me warmly before settling back down and dozing off for the rest of the flight.
"I'm sorry that I'm breaking a promise." I said hoarsely not feeling like I was getting enough air into my lungs and having to take a couple deep breaths. "But I don't know what else to do. I don't know if you'd want to live like an empty shell, or if you'd be lying there and telling me to hurry up." I laid my head down by her's, putting my hand gingerly in her hair and closing my eyes, pretending that nothing was wrong and it was just a normal day.
"I wish you could tell me what to do."
But you won't sing along
Bryce was back in my arms, and the two of us were perched on the edge of the hospital bed, my hand securely clenching onto Sonny's.
"Are you ready?" The doctor asked, and I hesitated. My eyes flickered from her face to Bryce's and back again, letting all the worries that had been raging in my head pass through my thoughts once again.
He's never going to know her.
He's not going to have a mother.
She's never going to kiss him, hug him, or laugh with him.
She never even got to hold him.
Not even once.
And now she never will.
The media is going to be all over us.
It's only been 94 days.
She's never going to say 'I love you' again.
But I shoved them back roughly, Sonny was a happy person, and she hated it when anyone felt otherwise. She had constantly made it her mission to keep everyone she knew and loved cheerful and eager for life. That's what she'd want for Bryce and I. I had to be strong, I was Sonny's husband, and Bryce's father and it was my job to take care of them and do what's best.
I thought hard; unplugging the machine was letting her go, letting her free. As soon as the machine was off then she would be left to her own devices, her heart would quiet, and then be at peace. And I knew, absolutely knew that Sonny wouldn't be gone. If she left this earth, she would go straight up to god, and he would be so lucky to have her with him. She would watch over the two of us, she would take care of Bryce and love him the best she could from up above. I had already vowed to make sure that he knew that his whole life.
He would know her. Because I would tell her every story I had of her. How we met. How she always made me smile. When we first moved in together. How I finally got up the courage to ask her to be my wife. Our wedding. Our lives as actors. How she could sing like the birds. How that sparkle she got when she found out she was pregnant never really left her eyes.
He would know. I would make sure of that.
I looked down at my son, our son, and was met with piercing blue eyes that in that second looked wiser than three short months. But from that gaze I pulled myself together.
I shuddered and looked up determinedly, eyes hard and a grimace plastered on my face.
But my words were not nearly as convincing as my stature.
"Yes," I whispered.
When the doctor turned his back, I picked up Sonny's hand and kissed each of her fingers, one by one, lingering on the ring finger of her left hand. That ring had always made her smile.
"Oh my god." She gasped as I slowly bent down on one knee. We were alone in the park by our house, and by her face I could tell that she knew what was coming.
"Sonny, you are the love of my life. And I don't want to live it any longer without you being mine completely." I smiled sincerely keeping my eyes locked with hers. "Will you marry me?" I flicked open the small black velvet box and held it out to her. Her hand was clasped over her mouth and in the fading light from the sun going down combined with the light from the street lamps I could see her eyes glistening.
"Absolutely." She breathed out swallowing slowly and reaching out her shaky left hand. I stood and grinned plucking the think gold banned ring from the box and slipping it onto her third finger from the right, straightening it out so that the princess cut diamond surrounded by the little sapphires was just barely catching the dim light. "This is the most beautiful thing I've ever…" She trailed off looking down at it with her mouth just slightly ajar.
"It's the second most beautiful thing I've ever seen." I said watching her closely, drinking in her every feature, and locking the image in my head so that I could pull it back up whenever I wanted.
"I love you." I said embracing her gently and placing my chin on top of her head. She kissed my jaw sweetly before replying.
"You know that I love you."
The doctor unplugged the ventilator and leaned forward gently removing the tubing from her mouth and nose. I pressed Bryce close into my shoulder and he turned his head watching the flashing warning lights from all the machines before dropping his gaze down to his mother. I kissed his cheek and silently prayed to myself. For strength, for guidance, for Sonny to be safe.
I never once thought that I would be watching her fade away, death never crossed my mind if I could help it. I still wanted to naively believe that people my age were too young to die. That kind of thing just didn't happen. But as I looked down at her tired face I felt a sense of calm oddly overcome me. I wasn't breathing hard or too fast. My hand had stopped shaking. The tears were long gone, having refused to make another appearance. My nerves were fried as it was and they stilled in the silence of the room that even Bryce respected.
The doctor slipped from the room along with all my tension and I leaned close to her and uttered a soft,
"I love you." Before placing a soft kiss on her forehead, letting my lips linger for a moment. The feeling of qualm that spread throughout the room steadied my nervous head and held together my aching heart.
It was just the three of us. My perfect family. The two people that would forever have a solid claim to each half of my heart, one of which seemed to be ripping away. For the peaceful moment, Sonny, Bryce and I, together as it should be. Even if it was only lasting for a single instant, that was slipping too quickly out of my grasp.
The steady beeping of the heart rate monitor wavered, slowing gradually, and I held on to Sonny's hand for dear life.
You've forgotten
About us
AN: Alright, so be honest, who cried? Even if your eyes got a little glassly let me know cuz I want to see if I'm just a big loser and cried while editing this chapter or if I actaully managed to write a decent sad story. Wow, just barely scanned up the page a bit and felt a little teary, I'm an uber wuss... :)
So, did ya like the ending? Want an epilogue? I kind of want to write one, but I won't unless you tell me you want one. Otherwise this is the end for this story. It was good while it lasted haha ;) Oh, by the way how did I do on the whole song fic aspect? Like I said, never done one so...yeah. Not sure.
Love you guys!
Cheers!
RedHeaded4Always