Chapter 12

After two weeks, John was released from the hospital.

For the occasion, Mrs Hudson had baked a cake and Sherlock had somehow cleaned up the flat. John's state was definitely much better, but he still needed medical supervision. So Sarah was paying him a daily visit, both as a doctor and a girlfriend. He was getting increasingly frustrated by his inactivity, but was also conscious that he was lucky to be alive.

Sherlock was back to work, Lestrade having finally agreed to give him a new case.

Life was going on, things were coming back into place and Molly knew this meant the end of the enchanted interlude she had been living with Sherlock.

One day coming back from work, she saw that he had taken back the few belongings he usually left at her flat. She had, of course, been expecting it, but the place suddenly felt terribly empty. Somewhere, in the back of her mind, she had cherished the illusion that life could always be like that. Sherlock and her, living together.

He didn't left a note, but when she went to her bedroom, she discovered a present waiting on her bed. It was from Harrod's and looked expensive. Molly opened it with excitement. It was a beautiful silk La Perla nightgown. She didn't know if it was a farewell present, or a promise of future encounters. Or just a way to tell her that the old one was really rubbish. She also wondered if he had picked it himself, and the idea of picturing him in the ladies' underwear department amused her immensely.

She saw him one week later, at Bart's. He was with an inspector from the Yard and needed access to a corpse. She acted very professionally and he didn't pay her any particular attention.

Then, on a Saturday afternoon, she received a text:

"Did you like my present? If so, come to 221B, Baker Street. SH".

She went, of course, and took with her the La Perla nightgown, which made her felt slightly like a call girl. John had finally been authorised to move and was out for a few hours with Sarah. There was little talking before they headed up to Sherlock's bedroom.

It went on like that, sometimes at his place, sometimes at hers. Whenever he was bored, or needed to empty his mind from the incessant train of thoughts. Molly decided that if it was all she could get from him, she would take it anyway. She was having an affair with a man married to his work, and like all mistresses, she hoped that one day she would have him for herself only. Even if in his case, she knew that a divorce was highly unlikely.

^/^

By the end of March, Sherlock started to change. His investigations into Moriarty's network were progressing. He discovered that the scale of the criminal's actions was much greater that he had foreseen, and the man could probably be held responsible for half the unsolved crimes in Britain. And yet, Scotland Yard didn't have a single thing on him. His only known activity had been mathematical research, a field in which he was apparently a genius. John was helping, but couldn't help feeling concerned for his friend and the unhealthy fascination he was developing for his nemesis.

It was also the time when Molly realised she was pregnant. It was an accident, the classic scenario. She wasn't on the pill, and it had been the one time when they didn't have a condom. He had insisted that he would be careful, which obviously didn't work.

The news had caused her a few sleepless nights; however her decision was quickly taken. She was 31, her biological clock was ticking and she wanted to be a mother. Sherlock may not be the perfect father but she loved him and couldn't dream of better genetic patrimony.

The only remaining obstacle was informing him of the situation. "Informing" was the right word, because his opinion was not really going to be solicited. She realised it was a very egotistic decision, but she also felt strangely comfortable with the idea. If he wanted to be a part of her life, she would be the happiest woman in the world. But if not, she had no problem with being a single mum, and wouldn't ask him for anything.

Molly had prepared her lines many times, but when the occasion presented itself, it was infinitely more difficult than she had planned. He was obviously in a bad mood, and not inclined to open up, so she decided to wait. The same thing happened the second time, and after that she stopped hearing from him almost completely. She texted him, but got no answer, which was unusual. She started to wonder if he knew about the baby and if it was the reason why he was ignoring her.

She met John at Bart's while he was picking up some autopsy reports on Sherlock's behalf. She was disappointed that he hadn't come himself but she learnt how the chase for Moriarty was absorbing all his time.

^/^

A few weeks later, the situation had become so alarming that John resolved to contact Mycroft. Sherlock was going for days without eating or sleeping. He kept disappearing without notice and would sometimes come back injured. When he was home, he was extremely irritable and in a state of constant agitation. The doctor even wondered if he was using again.

Mycroft informed John that he was already working on the Moriarty case. This worried John even more. The fact that Sherlock had accepted his brother's help could mean nothing good. This time, they were not only facing a mad man, but an international criminal organisation.

Sherlock knew he was a target, and this caused him to isolate himself even more. He kept telling John that his company was dangerous and that Baker Street was not safe anymore.

^/^

Finally, Molly decided that if Sherlock was too busy to answer her calls, she would confront him personally. When she arrived at 221B, she met John at the door, who was on the point of rushing out. He looked harassed, but still managed to greet her politely.

"Oh, hi Molly."

"Hello John. Are you going out?"

"Yes… I'm meeting with Sarah. Are you here to see Sherlock?"

"Yes, I'm bringing him some… papers he asked me for."

"Honestly, if I were you I'd just shove them under the door. He's insufferable."

"Oh. I'll see, I think I can handle it".

"Good luck then. Sorry but I've got to go!"

She entered the front door and paused for a moment. John's attitude was definitely not reassuring. She considered giving up, but found the courage to go upstairs.

The door was ajar, she gave a small knock on it. It wasn't long before she heard a familiar voice yelling:

"What is it now? I thought you needed some air!" He was clearly angry.

She pushed the door, and entered the living room. She was shocked by the state of the place. It had always been messy, but now, the floor was practically covered with papers. The shutters were closed even though it was still clear outside, giving the room a gloomy atmosphere.

He was lying on the sofa wearing his usual blue pyjamas, eyes closed.

"Hello Sherlock. It's me."

He practically jumped to his feet, and barked at her:

"What are you doing here?"

She looked at him and felt her heart wrench. He was paler than ever and had lost weight. He seemed exhausted.

"I came to talk. I haven't seen you in a while".

"I have no time to talk. And you can't stay here."

"Listen…"

"No, go away, right now!" There was a look in his eyes that she didn't like.

He started pacing the room nervously then crossed over to the window. He gazed at the street through the shutters.

Molly started again: "Sherlock, I'm not going anywhere. You're not well. I know that this case is taking a great toll on you, but you are not alone. You have John, and me. You know, I care a lot for you. It hurts me to see you like this."

He remained silent. She didn't know if it was a good or a bad sign but she went on:

"And…there is something I really need to tell you about. Something important."

He turned back to her and answered coldly: "There is nothing you could say that matters to me. Now please leave, and close the door behind you."

She couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"You're not yourself. You're under a lot of stress but you can't treat people like this. Don't push me away."

She went close to him and took his hand. "Let me help you." She swallowed, briefly closed her eyes, and the words were instinctively out of her mouth before she fully realised what she was saying. "Sherlock I… I love you."

An unreadable expression passed over his face, then he took back his hand.

"I'm disappointed. I didn't think you were that stupid. So, I'll make things clear, once for all. I don't feel anything for you, never have. You were a somewhat pleasurable distraction when I was bored. Well… despite your insipid conservation."

Stunned, she opened her mouth, then hot fury gave her voice. "You… disgust me".

"Oh? I thought you loved me. See, this is the problem with women, they absolutely lack logic". There was a horrible sneer on his face, and it wasn't until later that Molly wondered if there was something else there. Right now, she just wanted to wipe the smug expression from his face, preferably by causing him pain, and she lashed out at him like a wounded animal.

"You were right on one point - I have been stupid. Stupid enough to think that there was something human in you. Actually, I don't know why you're fighting Moriarty, because you two are exactly the same. You're manipulators, who just use people to play your perverted games. Well I hope you had fun with me. But actually, I pity you, Sherlock, because you'll end up alone, and you deserve it."

She managed to hold back her tears until she had run down the stairs. She took a taxi and cried all the way back home. Then, her sadness turned back into anger. She hated him for what he had said and herself for having been so naïve. She took a pair of scissors and tore apart the nightgown he had given her.

The following day, she wrote a letter asking Bart's security to deny him any access to the mortuary. But then, she thought about her baby, and didn't post it. His words still hurt, although a part of her still couldn't believe he had actually meant them. She was ready to give him a last chance to apologise, but she wouldn't make the first step.

One week later, she received a strange message on her blog. It was from Sarah Sawyer, John's girlfriend. She said that John and Sherlock had apparently disappeared. The two women talked on the phone. Sarah explained that she was supposed to meet John a few days before, but he didn't show up. She went to Baker Street where Mrs Hudson told her that the boys had left in a hurry and without leaving any explanations. Both their phones were turned off. Molly knew this certainly had something to do with Moriarty, but she had no idea either about their destination.

Then she got the call, from John.

And those words: "Sherlock... is not coming back".

Suddenly she thought about the last words she had said to him and she felt sick.

^/^

So this is the end of the Sherlock/Molly flashback. Next chapter will come back to present time and how she deals with her pregnancy.

Thanks again for your reviews, they are always greatly appreciated!

And special thank to my Beta Eyebrows2 !