Kjiersten ignored the conversation between Dana and Norman in the galley as she hurried outside. Josh was waiting on the docks, and she expertly hopped the rail to be by his side. She wrapped her arms around his waist and he draped one over his shoulder as they headed in the opposite direction of the bar.

"You gonna tell me what's bugging you?" she asked. He sighed and rested his head on top of hers as the Wizard crew headed past them.

"Derrik called the police on Jake when we docked."

"He what? Why?"

Josh shook his head slowly. "Heeee…thought Jake was using again, I guess."

"Well…" she paused to collect her thoughts. Now was not the time to say the wrong thing, which was easy for her to do when Jake was involved. "Was he?"

"They didn't find anything."

"That doesn't mean anything."

"You think I don't know that?" Josh barked, tearing out of her arms. He stormed a few steps away, stopped himself, and bounced his leg a few times as he debated his next move. She had seen him like this before, too many times, and every time broke her heart. Every time his hands went to his hips, he turned his back on her, he yelled at her, it was all she could do to give him his space. She always wanted to run to him, make him look at her, make him face the emotions he tried to bottle up, but she never did. Josh had to deal with things on his own terms.

"Have you talked to Jake about it?"

"No," Josh shook his head, back still to her. "No, he left a couple minutes after the police did. He's not using again, KJ. I know what he's like when he's on that shit, and he hasn't been like that. There were some times when he was a little off, you know, not quite Jake, but it wasn't drugs. We were all off our game this season. It wasn't…" He stopped as she gently turned him towards her. "It wasn't drugs."

"Josh, who are you trying to convince here?"

"He's been doing really well since he got out, Kier. He won't even eat fucking rum cake, that's how hard he's trying."

"I know."

"No, you don't. You're always ragging on Jake."

"But since he got out of rehab, even I have to admit that he's been working really hard to turn his life around. It's easy to doubt him right now, but you know your brother better than anyone. If you really think he's innocent, that's all you need. People are going to make a lot of assumptions about him because of this, and he's really going to need you on his side. You guys have come a long way in the past couple months; don't let this ruin all of that."

"But I don't know, Kjiersten. I don't really know if he was using again or not. I don't know who I hate more for that; him or me. I want to believe he was just trying to deal with not having dad on the boat, but….fuck," he ran both his hands through his hair and turned away from her again, "I have no idea."

"You could try talking to him."

"Yeah, cuz he'll give me a straight answer."

"Maybe if you promise to keep your temper in check…and actually do."

"You're a big help, thanks," he shot at her. She held her hands up defensively.

"Just saying." He turned back to her and took her hands in his, playing with the ring she was wearing. He'd given her the silver band with the aquamarine heart set into it for her 16th birthday, and she rarely went without it when she wasn't working. She wasn't a big fan of jewelry, but she was a sucker for anything with her birthstone in it, especially if it came from someone she cared about.

"Sorry. You know I'm not mad at you." She nodded. "I don't know if I'd believe him even if he really is staying clean. After everything that's happened, I'm not sure how much more of this I can take."

Kjiersten studied Josh's face for a moment, then let her gaze drop to their joined hands when she couldn't handle how broken he looked anymore. She watched as he fiddled with her ring, letting his body heat keep her freezing fingers warm at least for the time being. "Well, I could always talk to him."

"Yeah, right," Josh snorted. "That would be all kinds of bad."

"I'm better at staying calm than you are, and, as weird as it sounds, I think I can get an honest answer out of him."

"And then you'll report back to me? Like…make you my spy?"

"I never said I'd tell you," she shook her head. If she really felt that Jake was staying clean, of course she'd let Josh know. Right now, though, she still had her doubts. She wasn't about to have him waiting for an answer that she couldn't give him. She would not be the one to tell him his brother was back on drugs. "But, this way, at least one of us will know. It's better than being totally clueless, alright? You just give him the benefit of the doubt, and I'll try to get the real story."

Josh debated for a second, still fiddling with the ring around her pinky finger. He kept meaning to steal it off of her to get it resized, or just to get her a new one that was big enough to fit on her ring finger again, but something always came up. One day.

"Alright."

"Jake," Kjiersten slid into the seat Jake Anderson had just vacated. The younger Harris eyed her suspiciously, looked at how full her Budweiser still was, and scooted closer. She wasn't drunk, so she clearly had some other reason for talking to him. Josh had steered clear all night, not even looking his way. Everyone else was cautiously avoiding him; only Jake Anderson seemed alright with being near him tonight. The news had, obviously, already spread around the fleet.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"I don't really see you having a choice. Walk with me."

"Kjiersten," he started to protest, but she had already handed her drink off to a passing Eddie Uwekoolani and was heading for the door. Jake called her a few unrepeatable names and followed into the cold Dutch Harbor night. "I really don't want to talk."

"I really don't, either. But Josh doesn't know what to do right now, so I told him I would help out. I'm doing this for him, not for you. I just want an honest answer, Jake. Are you or are you not using again?"

"I'm not!" he insisted. She put her hands on his hips and gave him the Hansen glare, a move that reminded him of his brother and of Sig all at once. He hated when she did that. "I swear to God, Kjiersten, I'm not using."

She studied him slowly, shivering in the cold breeze that he felt through his Cornelia Marie hoodie. He knew she had to be cold in only the short sleeves she was wearing, but if she was, it barely showed. Her hands dropped off of her hips, and she let them fall helplessly to her side.

"I have no idea if I believe that or not."

"Doesn't matter," he waved dismissively. "No one ever believes me."

"That's not true," she rolled her eyes. "Whatever you tell him, Josh will believe you."

"You're shitting me, right?" Jake exclaimed, laughing in disbelief. "Josh doesn't let me live anything down. I can never do anything right! I'm just one big fucking disappointment to him!"

"You're not," she insisted, rubbing her forehead wearily. "He loves you so much, Jake. He'd choose you over me in a heartbeat, and, this might be vain, but I think that's saying something." Jake shrugged and shoved his hands in his pockets, but he secretly admitted that she was right; that was saying something. "That's why I flip shit on you. He cares so goddamn much, and you put him through hell. I don't think you ever even gave a shit, either. You just did whatever the fuck you wanted and never once thought about what it did to him. You only ever cared about yourself."

"Save the bullshit, Kjiersten. I didn't come out here for a sermon. We all know you're goddamn perfect and I'm the world's biggest fuck up. No need to rub it in."

"That's not what I'm saying," she insisted, closing a few of the feet between her and Jake. "I believe that you're trying now; I really do. But I've seen you slip up in the past, and I know what that did to Josh. I don't think you know, because I don't think you ever considered what you were doing to him back then. I never want to see him like that again. And…I never want to see you like that, either. You remember how we used to get along, back when we were kids? You used to be like a little brother to me, Jake, and I don't like the person you've become. I really want you to turn this all around."

"Look, I'm not doing anything. Josh is gonna be fine, you're gonna be fine, we're all gonna be fine. Don't worry about it." He waved her off and turned back towards the doors.

"Jacob Harris, don't you turn your back on me!" she snapped, and he froze. "You want to know what my problem with you is? It's that you don't give a fuck about anyone but yourself. Do you remember what you said to me a few days after you got that DUI?" He frowned and turned to face her. "No, of course you don't. I had been looking up rehab centers for weeks to find the best one for you, and you were pissed as hell at me for getting involved, remember that?" Jake hung his head and kicked at a rock. Yes, he did remember that; he remembered being furious that she was so involved in what was going on his life, that Josh was letting this outsider have so much control over his future. He'd made a lot of mistakes in that regard. "You remember getting fucked up one night and calling me to pick you up 'cuz you didn't want to deal with Josh?" That had happened so many times that he couldn't be sure which one she meant. "I was tired of having to save your ass every fucking time, and we had this massive fight about how you needed to let us help so you could turn your life around. And do you remember what you said to me? You said that I couldn't possibly understand what you were going through because my mom died when I was too young to remember her anyway."

Jake froze, eyes glued to his shoes. He definitely didn't remember saying that, but something in his churning stomach told him that he had. "Kjiersten, I didn't mean that. I was…"

"High. I know. That's the problem. Josh said almost the same exact thing to me, but he was pissed at you and upset about your dad and felt like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. And when you're hurting, you're mad at the world and lash out at the most convenient person; I get that and I'm okay with being the proverbial punching bag. But when you're so fucked up that you can't even remember saying something that makes me cry myself to sleep, something I can't even tell my best friend about because it'll make him want to beat the shit out of you, that is when we have a problem."

"I'm sorry! I didn't…I didn't know." When he looked up at her, her rant caught in her throat. He looked like he was on the verge of tears, and she had seen too many Harris tears in the past year. She refused to be the cause of any. "I'm sorry."

"No, Jake," she shook her head and took one of his hands, "that's not the point. That's in the past. Look," she mimed grabbing something out of the air between them, crumbling it in her hand, and tossing it in her shoulder, "it's gone. The point is that I want to believe you've turned around. I want you to look me in the eye and tell me you're never putting Josh or me through that hell again."

"I'm not using again, Kjiersten. I swear to God. I was tired this season, that's all. I was tired because I was clean. And because Dad wasn't in the wheelhouse. That's all it was. I swear to you."

She held his gaze for a long time, long enough that he started to feel uncomfortable. Finally, she dropped his hand and stepped away. "I believe you."

That was all she needed to say for him to feel a wave of relief wash over him. She disappeared back inside, but he needed to stay out in the cold for a few more minutes. It was a weird feeling to be believed in.