"Hey, Mopey McMopester, your cousins want to go shopping for Christmas party dresses. You have until Friday to pull yourself together. Think you'll be good by then?"
Kjiersten raised her eyebrows at the crossword clue she was filling in. "Guess I don't really have a choice. I'll be fine with them, anyway. They have no clue what's going on."
"Clueless," Ani agreed, pouring them both coffee. "Nina was confused that I answered your phone, so I told her I was borrowing it 'cuz mine broke and I was waiting for a call."
"You work so well under pressure," Kjiersten quipped sarcastically. "Nina's not an idiot. You would have done better to just ignore the question."
"She specifically asked me!" Ani insisted. The doorbell rang, and Ani swore under her breath as she stood up. "If Sig is at my door, I'm not even trying to fight him."
"Who are we fighting?" Vince frowned, stealing his wife's coffee as he breezed into the kitchen.
"It's not Sig," Kjiersten shook her head. "It's Josh," Kjiersten supplied right as Ani let him inside. "Which you've obviously already figured. Josh offered a small wave to show how late Kjiersten was at announcing him. "I'm moving my stuff into his place today."
"Finally!" Ani threw her hands in the air. "I'm tired of your sorry ass sleeping on my futon and eating my food."
"Well, now it'll be sleeping in my bed and eating my food," Josh grunted, slinging one of her bags over his shoulder. "Jake! Little help?" Jake bounded from the porch, where he'd been studying the carefully arranged gnomes Ani and Vince hid amongst their flowers.
"Sorry, man," he grinned sheepishly, slinging two of Kjiersten's bags over his shoulders. "Is this all you have?"
"Most of my stuff's still at my dad's," she shrugged. "I don't need that much. I'll talk to him soon enough and sort this all out."
"The sooner the better," Jake nodded, taking another bag. Kjiersten grabbed the last one and followed the Harris brothers outside. "You should keep your family close."
She reached over and noogied him through his beanie. He ducked away and batted at her hand, laughing at the playful gesture. She grinned back and settled for pushing his face away. "Thanks for the insight, Wise One."
"Just saying. By the way, I've decided on some house rules I'm gonna tell you about."
"I'm intrigued. Go on," Kjiersten leaned against the car and motioned Jake to continue, which he did gladly. Josh rolled his eyes as he loaded the trunk by himself.
"One, No sex in the kitchen. I have to eat in there. Two, no sex near my dog. She doesn't need to see that stuff; she's just a puppy. Three, Kjiersten, don't wear any of my clothes. I don't want them to smell like you. You smell like a girl. I smell like a sexy chick magnet, and I don't need you ruining my game."
"This is gonna be for, like, two days, Jake. You really think…"
"Do you agree to my terms or not?" he interrupted. She narrowed her eyes at him but couldn't help cracking into a grin.
"Your terms are acceptable. Except no sex in the kitchen. Is that negotiable?"
"The house rules are not negotiable!" Jake insisted.
"Party pooper," she faked a pout. "I CALL SHOTGUN!"
"What? No, not cool! I always ride shotgun. Josh, tell her I always ride shotgun."
"Dude, she just called it," Josh shrugged. "You always rode shotgun 'cuz there was no one else. Step your game up." Kjiersten stuck her tongue out and waved goodbye to Ani and Vince before skipping around the car and opening the front passenger side door.
"Watch your back, Kjiersten Hansen," Jake threatened playfully as he got into the backseat behind Josh. "This isn't over." She reached back to noogie him again, but he dodged and grabbed her wrist. She twisted her arm and reached to smack him, so he grabbed that hand and tried to push her arms away.
"Children, really?" Josh rolled his eyes into the rearview mirror. "I'm not starting this car until you two behave." They both let go and shifted to sit normally in their seats. Kjiersten turned briefly to stick her tongue out, and Jake returned the favor after she turned her head. "I think I'm starting to miss when you two hated each other. I didn't know I was signing on to live with 5-year-olds."
Norman ran his hand through his hair as Edgar passed him a beer. "Think she'll call before Christmas?"
"Course she will," Edgar nodded, plopping down next to him. Sig nodded his agreement but couldn't talk around the beer bottle in his mouth. "She'll come around. She always does."
"It's been a week," Norm shook his head.
"She'll call," Sig insisted after swallowing. "She's stubborn as hell, but she'll get over it. Give the girl a chance to come around. She said she needed to talk to you about something else, right?" Norman nodded. "So she's just overreacting because something else was stressing her out. Don't even worry about it."
"Yeah," Edgar raised his bottle in a makeshift toast to Sig. "He's right. She'll calm down in no time. You know how she gets."
"Yeah, I do," Norman nodded, sipping on his beer. "That's what's worrying me."
The conversation was cut off as soon as Mandy came into the room. It was an unwritten rule that the Kjiersten situation was not to be mentioned in front of Sig's daughters, and the three of them were masters ending a discussion as soon as one appeared. Mandy looked up from her phone at the sudden silence to see the people sitting in the living room, and exclaimed, "What the hell are you all doing here?"
"Is that any kind of way to greet your uncle?" Edgar smirked, holding his arms out. "Come here and give me a hug." Mandy complied, but the shocked look stayed on her face.
"Dad," she hissed while hugging Norman, "I thought you were going out today!"
"Yeah, well, plans changed," Sig shrugged. "I don't have to explain myself to you, kiddo. What's gotten into you?"
"No. Nothing. Everything's fine." She hurried to the doorway and yelled "NINA!" as she disappeared. Sig shook his head.
"Teenage girls. I will never understand them," Sig grunted. Edgar made some kind of clever quip back, but Sig was more focused on why his daughters were hovering by the front door. "Hey! What are you punks doing over there?"
"Nothing!" Nina shook her head. "We're going out. Mom didn't tell you?"
"No, your mother did not tell me. Your mother never tells me anything. Going where?"
"Dad," Nina sighed as something outside caught Mandy's attention, "the mall. Chillax."
"Do not tell your old man to chillax," he ordered, but they were already sliding out the front door on him. "FREEZE!"
The command, in that tone, made not only Nina and Mandy freeze on the porch, but also Kjiersten as she hopped out of her Jeep. She immediately got apologetic looks from her cousins, but that was nothing compared to the faces behind them. Sig, Edgar, and Norman came to see what had Mandy and Nina so on-edge, and everyone stopped when they saw her.
"Well," Kjiersten faked a smile, "this isn't awkward at all! Nina, Mandy, uh, I just got a shit ton of new music from my friends this week. How about you go through my iPod and check it all out, okay? I'll meet you in a minute."
"KJ," Mandy began, but Nina took her sister's arm and led her towards the Jeep as Kjiersten slipped past her uncles into the house. She walked into the living room, crossed her arms, and waited. When the door closed, Kjiersten whirled on her family.
"What the fuck is wrong with you people?"
"Excuse me?" Sig frowned. "You disappear for a week, and the problem is with us."
"Oh, please," she wrinkled her nose at him. "I was with Ani and Vince. If there was a brain between the three of you, you would have called their house, heard one of her shitty-ass lies, and known I was there instantly."
"What is your problem?" Edgar insisted. "You can't seriously be this upset over-"
"This has nothing to do with Dana," she interrupted, squeezing her eyes shut like she didn't even want to say the name. "It's not. You looked…" she shook her head at her dad and shrugged, "happy. I mean, you know, considering. Which, hey, great! It just sucks that the one time I really need you, you're busy doing someone I can't stand."
"You are so far out line right now, Kjiersten," Sig shook his head.
"Then let him stand up for himself!" she shouted, motioning towards the still-silent Norman. "He has no trouble telling everyone else what he thinks!"
"Kjiersten," Edgar said evenly, trying to stop this from turning into a shouting match, "what is this really about?"
"This is about how wrong it is to mess with other people's lives!"
"We're not messing with your life, Kjiersten," he frowned.
"Yes, you are! You've had your hands all over the most important part of me for way too fucking long because you're a bunch of old, stubborn assholes that can't stand to let me make my own mistakes. Would that really kill you so damn much? No," she waved off whatever Sig started to say, "don't. Don't even fucking answer that. I don't want to her your excuses. You're pathetic, you know that? The three of you are just pathetic cowards."
"What are you talking about?" Sig shook his head. "I swear, we really don't understand."
"No, you wouldn't, would you? It wasn't a big of a deal to you guys. I'm sure you've forgotten ALL about it by now. Let me refresh your memories. Our story begins at my senior prom." She watched the look the three brothers shared. "Do I have to continue?"
"We were trying to protect you. Josh had almost been killed, remember?" Edgar started gently.
"And the best way to protect me was to subtly threaten him into only ever being my friend? What would be so damn wrong with me taking that chance? Would it be so fucking terrible if I was allowed to make my own decisions? I was well aware that he might go out on a trip and never come back, especially after the accident. I always knew what the life of a crabber meant; I was raised by you!" she motioned to her dad. "Why the hell would you guys do that to us?"
"Don't blame them," Norman finally spoke.
"Oh, trust me, I blame them a whole hell of a lot because they still chose to take part, but I know you were the mastermind, Daddy. You've been so terrified of losing someone else that you've never let people get close to you, and you wanted me to live exactly the same way. You just wanted to keep me all wrapped up in the shadows with you where you could keep me safe and warm and never let me live my own life. God forbid someone in this family ever try to love anybody again! I can't put my heart on the line because of Mom, and that's not fair! Just because you're a scared, lonely man doesn't mean I have pay for it!"
"Kjiersten!" Sig snapped. "You don't talk to your father that way."
"I'm just saying what you've both been thinking for the past 19 years, and you know it. You've never gone out on a date. Hell, I don't think you even talk to single women just to be safe. I'd bet my opie wage that Dana had to ask you out, because you're too scared to put yourself out there, and I'm the one that's had to pay for it! Why the hell would you do that to me, Daddy?" Something about the combination of anger and pain in the way she asked made Norman wince.
"I…it was stupid, I admit that. I just wanted better for you. I didn't want you to be another girl waiting on the docks for a boat to come in. I didn't want you to have another grave to visit."
"I was already one of those girls, Dad! This might be a shocker for you, but MY WHOLE FAMILY FISHES!" she yelled.
"Kjiersten, could you please calm down?" Edgar started.
"No, no I will not calm down!" she snapped. "Because guess what? Your plan failed! I kissed Josh a week ago. Hell, now I'm staying with him because it's too much for me to be in the same house with you. I love him, and he loves me! So if you want to go threaten him or warn him away from me again, have a blast. It's not going to change anything.."
"Kjiersten," Norman reached for her as she passed between him and Edgar, but she turned from his hand and squeezed through.
"No," she shook her head and let the anger wash out of her face. Even after the longest grind in the harshest weather, they had never seen her look that tired. "It's too late for that. I'm taking the girls shopping, and I'll bring them back, but I'm not getting out of the car when I get back. From now on, you guys don't get a say in my life, because I don't know what shit you'll pull next. I can't trust you guys anymore."
"Of course you can trust us," Sig insisted.
"No," she sighed sadly as she opened the front door, "I can't. It's not exactly hard to imagine you two doing this, but Dad?" She shook her head and swallowed around the lump in her throat. "My whole view of you and our relationship has been tossed around, and I'm not totally sure I even know who you are anymore. So I need time to figure all this out." She paused with the door halfway closed and cracked it open again to add something. "I'm glad you found someone, Dad. I hope she makes you really happy. And…if I don't talk to you guys before then…I'll see you for opies."
"Kjiersten!" Sig's eyes grew wide. "What about the holidays? What about…?"
"I'll see you," she said evenly, cutting him off, "when I'm ready. Or for opies. Whatever comes first."