Do not own! Title is applies but nothing really used. It's the title of a Charlotte Sometimes song "This Is Only for Now"
Timeline: Mid- June. Mitchie's senior year.
Math class. Mitchie's teacher, Ms. Clementi was talking about the final, but Mitchie and about half of the class (the seniors) were staring out the window at the beautiful spring day and thinking that June 20th couldn't get here fast enough.
Also, she really needed to pee. She moved her gaze away from the blue sky outside and stared at the red water bottle on her desk next to her calculator and pencil. Alright, she was going to die, seriously, she got up to head to the bathroom. Her math teacher was cool about that, as long as you came back.
However, before she could get even a couple of steps her teacher stopped her "I'm actually going to let you guys go early today, I have stuff to do before last period. And you guys really aren't paying any attention to me." Ms. Clementi said, laughing slightly. The class, which didn't need to be told twice packed up and most of them were out the door mere moments after she announced that class would be let out early. It was one of those things that you never expect to be reminded of something serious when a word brought worries you didn't know you had to the front of your mind. That's the way that Mitchie was feeling. She stopped in her tracks and was thinking. Her mind was reeling as she desperately tried to piece together the last time she'd had her period. Or even thought about it.
"Mitchie? Are you ok?" Ms. Clementi had come up to her and was genuinely concerned.
"Yeah, I'm fine. I just forgot that I had a doctor's appointment after school. And other things" she lied.
"Ok, sure. I'm here to talk if you need it."
"Ok, thanks." Mitchie threw everything into her messenger bag and got the hell out of there. She still had to pee, after all.
Once that had been taken care of, Mitchie was stood in the bathroom. She was leaning against a wall and looking at herself in the mirror above the sink.
She couldn't be. They always used condoms! What was happening? Mitchie could have screamed in frustration. Why didn't she keep better track of her periods? Trying not to let the anxiety take over, she scurried to an empty computer lab, and tried to pick the computer that was the most tucked away from the open center of the room.
Googling "how to tell if your pregnant?" and all of the fertility ads popped up, but she picked one URL that looked promising. The website told her that nausea was common, and so was "unusual fatigue" and "increased urination." However, there were only those two that had really been happening.
She thought back to the past few weeks when all she felt like doing was sleeping, or at least sitting, and how odd this seemed because she usually had an active lifestyle. She had been sleeping more. Definitely. Even her parents had noticed.
Increased urination. Yeah, that too. Although she had just attributed this to just drinking more water, since she had gotten the new bottle, she wasn't keeping track of how much water she drank recently.
She printed out the page, and exited the window immediately. Trying not to feel anxious, she told herself to get a pregnancy test from the drug store on the way home. Don't freak out until you're positive. These are just weird coincidences…
The bell rang for 6th period, but Mitchie wasn't sure she could sit through two more hours of school and then go to the drug store. In a rash action, (but not too rash, as she signed out from the attendance office, while claiming a personal emergency) and booked it for her car.
At a Walgreens, a few minutes later. She bee-lined for the pregnancy tests, but walking up to the counter, she couldn't only get a pregnancy test, that seemed tragic. So she grabbed the first thing that looked decent, it happened to be a stuffed pink horse.
The clerk, looked terribly bored while she walked up to the counter, and he gave her a curious look at the nature of her purchases. She shrugged her shoulders in a way that she hoped looked normal, like she wasn't dying of anxiety inside. Mitchie paid for her pink horse and pregnancy test and left. When she gets to her house, it is empty, nobody is home, obviously because its about 1:30pm.
Reading the directions for the test is difficult with her shaking hands, but she follows the directions and prays for the blue line that will tell her she's not pregnant. In what feels like an hour, but really only is about ten minutes, she just sits and wonders what she'll do with either result. Once the timer dings on her cell phone, she leaps up to check the test. Mitchie picks up the white stick and looks at the result. Her heart drops to her feet. The feeling that her life is over is crashing over her. I'm only 17! I don't want to have a baby. Why is this happening?
For the first time in a couple of years, Mitchie cries, full body sobs, that physically hurt. She has to tell her mother, right away. Which is a conversation, she would much rather never have, but given the circumstances were wholly necessary.
Mitchie puts the test back in the box and carries it to her room. She has a couple more hours before her mother is due home. She decides to do what she usually does when she is stressed. She calls Caitlyn. Caitlyn will help her out.
"Hey it's Caitlyn, sorry I can't get to the phone right now, but if you leave your name and number I'll call back as soon as I can. Thanks" (beep)
"Hi Caity, it's Mitch. If you could call me back as soon as possible. It's important. Miss you."
Sarah, her friend from school is obviously in class and will not answer for a few hours since she also has debate team afterwards and then a piano lesson. She is cursing the uselessness of cell phones, if nobody answers them, when the phone vibrates next to her. Caitlyn.
She picks up, "hello!"
"Hey Mitch, what's up, I got your message. Sorry, I legitimately was running for my phone, but voicemail got you first." Caitlyn chuckles
Caitlyn, who lives in closer proximity to the boys, is often with them, Mitchie can hear Nate and Jason arguing in the background, and Shane yelling at both of them. "Hang on, doll" Caitlyn says. "Will you guys shut up? I'm on the PHONE, with Mitchie!"
Mitchie's insides clench at Caitlyn's blatant use of her name.
"Caity, it's important. Please don't freak out." Her voice nearly breaks with anxiety.
"Honey, what's wrong?"
"I'm pregnant" Mitchie admits. There is something of a good feeling there. Like a weight has been pulled off her chest.
"What? OhMyGod!" Caitlyn yells.
"Caitlyn!" Mitchie hisses.
"Sorry. Shit. Sorry, again."
"Sorry for what?" Mitchie is baffled. But the answer is solved a second later when her boyfriend's voice comes over the phone.
"Mitchie? What's happening? Are you ok?"
"Yes, yes, I'm fine. Can you please hand me back to Caitlyn?"
"No, not until you tell me what Caitlyn was yelling about."
"GIVE ME BACK TO CAITLYN, RIGHT NOW!" She screams. Even over the phone she can see the recoil and then suddenly Caitlyn is back on the phone.
"Hi sweetie, you may want to apologize for that soon. He looks crushed and very confused." Caitlyn tells her. Mitchie swears that she will, but not right now. She needs to talk, and then have the talk with her mom.
So, when the conversation is done, Mitchie feels somewhat better because she knows she has options. Honestly, she doesn't want the baby. So there's adoption and getting rid of it. But of course, Shane has a choice too. Caitlyn reminded her, but ultimately Mitchie did have the final say.
Shane is confused. Mitchie just outright screamed at him. What's going on? He waits for Caitlyn to get off the phone before bothering her again. But first he texts Mitchie frantically. "Are you ok? I love you." No answer.
He turns to Nate and Jason who have abandoned their argument in favor of watching this scene unfold.
"Do you guys know what's going on?" He asks.
"Dude, how would we know what's going on with your girlfriend?" Nate quips. Shane turns away, to look at Caitlyn. He swears that he sees Nate and Jason exchange a look from the corner of his eye, but he isn't certain. He decides not to press the issue.
Caitlyn walks back over. "Caitlyn, what's going on? Is she ok?"
"Shane, she'll call you soon. I am not telling you anything. It is not mine to tell." She walks away. He is stuck. He pulls out his cell phone and immediately checks the service bars. He has good service. Why isn't she calling?
A few hours later, she still hasn't called.
Mitchie is sitting on the couch in her living room, she has the television on, but she's not really watching. She's waiting for her mother. Her feet are up on the coffee table, and she has her cell phone in hand. However, as alert as she feels, her mind occasionally wanders.
"Mitchie, are you ok? You look upset." Connie Torres observes, startling Mitchie out of her thoughts, she looks up and sees her mother. She is standing in front of the television.
"Mom, when did you get home?" Mitchie asks. "I need to talk to you." She says without really waiting for an answer to the question.
Connie walks over to a chair and sits.
"Mom, I'm pregnant." Mitchie says.
Connie looks at her daughter. "Are you sure?"
"I took a test, it said positive."
"Oh god." Mitchie's mom rubs her eyes. "We'll schedule you for a doctor's appointment to get an actual result."
Mitchie sighs, ok, that didn't turn out to be so awful.
"Do you know what you're going to do? Keep it? Up for adoption, get ri…" Mitchie's mother stops on the last option.
"I don't want to keep it. I don't know about adoption or getting rid of it. I can't have this baby."
"Does he know? That you are expecting?" She asks.
"No, I don't want to tell him"
duhduhduh!
hope you all like it. sorry for the long time inbetween updates. I'm erratic like that. planning on having the next one up sometime this month. (ideally.) :DD