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Story Nineteen: Dazed and Confused part Quatre

Vocabulary Words

Quatre: French: Four

Baka: Japanese: Idiot

Summary: Tests and a certain bunny don't mix very well.

Rating: T'ish

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A positive sign, or rather a pink positive sign in any language spelled a.b.s.o.l.u.t.e. d.o.o.m. to a young teenage girl. A thousand rusty needles felt as through they'd been shoved into Usagi's spinal cord causing every muscle in her body to stiffen drastically. "N-no," Her voice trembled, her knees buckled and she dropped to the ground still clutching at the white stick in her palm.

"This can't be happening," Usagi blinked down at the white stick, her eyes willing for it to magically transform into a blue negative sign. When it refused her mental command the young blond mechanically reached up, taking a hold of her purse's strap before yanking it off the counter. It fell to the floor with an audible thud, its contents scattering all over the tiled bathroom floor.

Usagi's trembling hands dug through her purse until she came across a circular white container. "This," She stated, her fierce eyes gesturing towards the positive pregnancy test, "is all your fault!" She screeched before tossing her birth control at the bathroom wall.

"98.9 percent proof my behind!" Usagi continued to grumble crossing her arms over her chest. "Jeez, my papa's going to kill Mamo-chan," A frown pulled her lips towards the ground. "No!" She stated stubbornly lifting herself off the ground and pulling out a second pregnancy out the box.

Unbeknownst to the small blonde halfway across town three boys were sitting in front of a monitor, eating popcorn and watching her every move. That is until she lowered her pants to pee on the second stick. During that portion Mamoru had placed both of his hands over his two best friend's eyes: Asanuma and Motoki.

"Ok! Now this is the best prank ever," Mamoru announced quite proudly, releasing his hands once Usagi had pulled up her pants.

Asanuma on his part looked over at Motoki with an unreadable expression, "I," He began, raising his eyebrows. "Don't think so," He declared.

Mamoru's triumphant expression turned into one of pure shock, "What?"

Motoki clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth, "Are you even sure that Usagi not actually pregnant, I mean she's been really moody lately?"

"Not to mention crying more than usual," Asanuma added, placing his hand on Mamoru's shoulder. "I think someone, and I mean you," He nodded his head towards him.

"Broke the carnal rule in all of prankdom," Motoki contiuned.

"Which is," Asanuma paused, his expression shifting to one of disappointment. "Don't knock up your girlfriend when she's still in high school, its unprofessional." He chastised the older boy while Motoki took this time to slap him over the back of the head.

Mamoru couldn't help but growl at the duo, "She's not pregnant bakas." Grumpily he crossed his arms over his chest, "She's been feeling moody and crying a lot because of these pills I've been slipping into her-"

"Wha?!? You've been feeding our precious Usa-chan poison?!" Motoki accused quite loudly, Asanuma's face hardened in disapproval.

"Wait! This coming from you two, who a couple of months ago slipped me an animal tranquilizer. An ANIMAL TRANQUILIZER!" Mamoru yelled while Asanuma waved his hand in dismissal.

"That's true but who cares if something happened to you accidentally, now Usa-chan, that's a completely different matter all together." Asanuma's eyes widened drastically. "Think of all the devastated boys in Juuban, man I can't tell you how many times this one photo of Usagi in bikini eating a hot dog has gotten me through some pretty lonely nights."

"What?!" Mamoru and Motoki both shouted at the same time. "Where'd you get that?" Mamoru probed, his eye twitching.

Asanuma stared back unashamed, "Demando sold me that treasure a year ago." He grinned, evilly.

Mamoru's fists tightened at his sides, "The pills," He continued on with his explanation trying desperately to control his anger. "Won't do anything damaging to her, they just increased her estrogen levels. Besides that, I've been replacing all her low fat treats with buttery delights, to make her gain some extra weight. Hell, I even made it so her period would be late this month."

"How in the fuck did you 'make it so her period would be late'?" Motoki asked in a disbelieving tone while Asanuma shuttered at his side, not wanting to hear an answer to the inquiry. "Mamo-kun, you're so dirty," He muttered.

"Easy, I introduced her to these girls from our school who both had their menstrual cycles at the latter half of the month and made sure they all hung out constantly." Mamoru replied quite proudly. "Which syncs up their uteruses."

Motoki and Asanuma could only blink, "Mamo-kin that's an urban myth."

"Black magic is more like it," Motoki replied.

"No," Mamoru's eyes narrowed, "It's scientific fact, you just obviously don't know a thing about vaginas."

Asanuma snorted, "I know a thing or two about them in my fantasies about Usa-chan," He gloated causing Mamoru to growl. "Hmpt, that still doesn't explain the pregnancy tests."

"Simple, their fakes. I bought them at this joke store," Mamoru clapped his hands together once. "See, and all this time I've been pretending that I want a baby-"

"-We know," Motoki replied blandly.

Rubbing his chin Asanuma regarded the older boy, "No matter how you look at it, this is horrible." Mamoru frowned, "Not only have you endangered our poor Usa-chan's health mentally but physically as well. I declare this the wor-"

"-You know with Usako thinking that she's pregnant I bet I can get away with doing it without a the need of a Trojan tonight," Mamoru said absently.

"-Best Prank Ever!!!" Asanuma declared.

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An: I don't know about you, but this made me giggle. Double posts equal double reviews, right?

CharmedSerenity3, Jessicam242, Henna Ryans (I used to do that to this guy at work, he used to get so mad), Chichiforever (I'm glad your back from your in-laws safe and sound ^.^) Sakanascales876 (Very weird sight indeed) and Beloved Dawn THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR REVIEWS!

Ills