A/N: Here's another 'dialogue only' story (since I've challenged myself to do at least one of these for each of my '5 Things' series). It's about what might have happened after the episode 'Clean Hands', but didn't (duh).

Five Things That Never Happened to Donna Sabine

First Kill

"Thanks for seeing me on such short notice, Dr. Luria."

"'Short notice' comes with the job description, Donna, so please don't think you're imposing. I'm here for you and your team mates, and I'm ready to help you."

"Oh. Okay..."

"Now, I had a look at your file, so I know you recently joined the SRU. Previously, you'd spent four years with Vice; two of those were with the undercover division..."

"That's right."

"Big jump."

"I guess."

"According to all your performance evaluations, you're an excellent fit for this Unit. You topped a list of about three hundred applicants. That's no small feat, Donna."

"It was a challenge, I'll admit, and I was so thrilled when I heard I'd made the team, but..."

"...But something's not sitting quite right with you, is it?"

"No. It isn't."

"So, let's talk. What's bothering you?"

"Well, you said you've seen my file, right?"

"Yes, I have."

"Then you know I also just went through an SIU hearing."

"Yes, and you were cleared of any wrongdoing."

"They cleared me alright, but... I just can't stop thinking about it. I can't get that image out of my head! I killed someone. And not just any 'someone', I killed another law enforcement officer."

"Donna, Agent Delia Semple may have been employed to enforce the laws of this country, but her actions that day clearly indicated that she felt she was above the law. You essentially did what had to be done."

"Did I? I killed a woman who was in the throes of grief. She's dead, and instead, a filthy piece of murdering scum is alive to see another day!"

"Agent Semple abused her position. Surely you understand that she had no right to play judge, jury and executioner of Peter Wilkins?"

"Yeah, I 'understand', but what, then, does that say about my actions? Dr. Luria, I put in for the SRU because I wanted to make a real difference. I wanted to be 'the good guy', because I was starting to feel tainted working with Vice. Being constantly surrounded by the dregs everyday, pretending to be human vermin when I was undercover, was starting to take a significant toll on me. I had to get away from all that moral decay."

"I can see how your experiences with Vice would make you feel that way, Donna."

"I thought I would finally be able to 'protect and serve' with this Unit. Instead, my first time on a call, and I had to protect a stinking serial killer. I had to use lethal force, shooting someone who by all rights should have been on our side. It's all so twisted and backwards, I can't stand it! Dr. Luria, I can't do this. I can't continue with this unit if things are going to be like this. It's killing me."

"Are you saying you're looking to resign from the SRU?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying."

"Does Sergeant Parker know you feel this way?"

"No. Not yet. I wanted to see what you thought, first, Dr. Luria."

"Donna, your first kill is always going to be traumatic, no matter what the circumstances-"

"My 'first' kill? My God! You make it sound like it's going to be the first of many!"

"That's not quite what I meant, Donna, but this is your job. This is what you're called to do: to make those difficult decisions in the heat of the moment. If the only solution means using lethal force, then you've got to learn to be comfortable with that decision."

"Let someone else make those decisions! I quit!"