Chapter 1

Cross Academy

*Sanako's P.O.V.*

"Right this way, Miss Matsukawa." The talkative brunette instructed, walking down the long, dark hallway. There where dorms on each side of the quiet abandoned hallway. Everyone must be asleep, I figured before following the girl shyly, wanting to just die. I had to admit, this school seemed nice, but it looked so rich and way out of my league. I could never fit it at a place like this, but I guess I shouldn't be complaining. Any where's better than living with my awful foster parents. I didn't even want to think about them, I snapped, pushing the thought to the back of my head immediately.

At least I meet someone, maybe we can be friends? Haha, not. I never had a friend in my life, only associates. Don't ask me why. How should I know? People just don't like me, I guess. I mean, I try to talk, but then I just end up being all timid again. I can't help that. It's like a bad, terrible habit that makes you go crazy until you overpass it, but how long does that take?

We came to a stop when she took out a key, and put it in the key hole in one of the dorm doors. Whoa, I get my own room to sleep in? How amazing! Maybe I'll have a dorm mate and-

"I'm sorry, Matsukawa, but we're kind of full and um..." The look on her face showed apologies and I automatically understood and smiled sweetly.

"O-oh! That's alright. I don't mind being alone, really." I don't know which was worse, the awkwardness, or the fact that I was telling the truth.

She grinned. "Really? Okay then. I'm Yuki, by the way."

Lucky...I always loved the name Yuki for some strange reason. I smiled. "It's nice to meet you, oh...and uh you can call m-me Sanako." I secretly celebrated in my mind, yay! First day here and someone already introduced themselves to me, that's a record. It usually takes a few weeks or too. I'm kind of invisible.

You see, my foster parents, or the demons I live with, check me into and out of schools all the time. Most of the time it's because my grades are bad, but so what? It's not my fault I'm not as smart as all the other little rich kids you I go to school with. But due to so much moving around I think I'm getting shyer and shyer, it's funny. Some would think it helps you become more outgoing. This actually proves I'm different. I like being different though. It's fun.

Once we entered the dark dorm, Yuki switched on the lights and my eyes traveled around the cozy warm room. Wow, this was my first time being at a boarding school, it was kind of cool. There were two empty beds, one in a corner and the other by the window. I chose the one in the corner, since I have a childish fear of falling out windows, and since I'm extremely clumsy, I guess I should avoid any window I can. Stupid, I know.

"Are you sure you don't mind rooming alone?" Yuki asked, full of concern.

"Of course!" I assured her, dragging my heavy bags tiredly across the wooded floor and gently placing them on my new soft bed.

"Okay..." She didn't sound fully convinced. "Well, I have to do some work, so I'll show you the rest of the tour tomorrow, is that okay?"

"Oh...yeah that's great." I smiled. Damn it, that's what I get for coming so late! I whined. I missed the tour! I silently cried to myself. I was too excited to wait for tomorrow!

"So your good for the night?"

I nodded shyly.

"Alright! Well, I'm off then! Oh, and please don't leave your dorm."

I wanted to ask why so badly. But my darn shyness took over. Crap. I can forget that idea.

"Alright..." I said quietly. I wanted to know! Why? Why can't I leave my dorm? It was eating me alive!

"Okay, well then good night."

"G-good night." Wow, I hadn't said goodnight to someone in along time. That's sad. As soon as Yuki left I burst into tears. My hands covered my face, to muffle my cries. I didn't want to be here. That Yuki girl, I knew she didn't like me, no one did. I was just that weird girl everyone sees as the background character, that no one should pay attention to. I knew she was just force to show me around. I was going to hate it here, just how I hated everywhere else I went to. I wanted to go home. Not my demon foster parent's home, no, my main home. I wanted my mom back! The memories of that night I could never forget shoot into my mind like a gun. The memory was forever glued in my mind, no matter how hard I tried to get rid of it, it would always come back to haunt me. The overbearing guilt killed me in anyway possible, torturing me in my loud cries and the scars I had placed myself all over my small weak body. It would never end, I was quite sure of that. I would die someday. The guilt will consume me. All I had to do was wait patiently for it. Anytime now...I'm waiting.

I'm aware that I'm completely unhealthy. I shouldn't be thinking this way, but it was the only reason I had to live for. I just waited for the guilt, each and every day. The days and nights would pass, I would be happy, I had lived for one more day, until the guilt killed me. I was just a poor defenseless deer just painfully waiting for the bear to just kill it, tear it apart limb from limb, so it could escape this horrible world. I didn't know where I was going to go when I died. Possibly hell, since I think it's a sin to kill yourself. I don't know. But I doubt I'm going to heaven, actually, I know I'm not going to heaven. I killed my mother! It was all my fault! I'm so horrible! I hate myself!

/oooOooo\

Authors Note - Damn dude, dat girl is fucked up O.o well, now u no y she's all lonely and sad :( i feel srry for the poor gurl! D:

well...im surree somee smexyyy mann willl fix dat...or will hee? xD review if u want! srry for grammar issues! i have a crackhead computer!