Finally, after a more than 4 day wait, here is the next chapter. Chapter 12 should be up much more quickly. I may even write it out tonight. I'll have to see how things go.

This is so delightfully not you.

One Life To Lose

Rick wasn't quite sure what to do. The difference a few minutes made had put him in a mild state of shock. Before their lunch had arrived, Kate had been careful to keep her mind on police business. He could almost feel the mental effort she was exerting to keep any unwanted thoughts at bay. Then it had all changed.

It was like a dam had burst inside of her. Like those two memories, the one that she hadn't been able to hold back and the one that she allowed him to see, had destroyed the mental barrier that had kept unwanted thoughts and memories from slipping through.

Rick had always thought that the reason she let him stay shadowing her after he returned from the Hamptons was because he solved the case first, winning the bet they'd had going. Kate's memory that lasted no more than five seconds, a memory where

Esposito had asked Kate how long it took for Castle to figure things out, showed that he was wrong. Kate had merely let Rick think he was the first one to figure things out.

A few minutes after that Rick learned how much Kate enjoyed teasing him. Not that he was totally oblivious to the fact. She frequently said things to get a reaction out of him, from teasing him about "hot, wild, kinky" things she liked to do-putting killers behind bars-to popping an extra button on her top when he suggested it. Then he saw Kate's memory of showing up at his Heat Wave book reading, wearing a red dress that had made him stumble in his reading. Her head had been full of thoughts like He is so easy and Getting to Castle is such a rush! The one thought that she'd had that made it almost impossible for him to hide his inner reaction from Kate was He makes me feel like the sexiest woman in the world without even trying. I don't know what I'm going to do if he ever puts any effort in to it.

Kate looked up from her paperwork at the end of that one, panic in her eyes. Rick just smiled serenely at her. It was excruciatingly difficult to maintain the facade as she anxiously searched his expression. Evidently he was able to pull it off, because after a moment relief flooded her eyes and she returned her attention to the current folder she was perusing.

Then Kate's mind turned to remembering her high school friend, Maddie, accusing her of being "hot for Castle" and wanting to "make little Castle babies." Rick abruptly rose from his chair and headed towards the break room. He had had wondered what had been on her mind when she'd had that horrified look in her eyes. Now he knew. It was a very brief, but very detailed, fantasy of making Castle babies.

"Hey, bro, you okay?" Esposito asked when Rick passed his desk. Rick could do nothing more than a quick nod as he kept going. He didn't even turn to respond to Ryan's asking Kate, "What's with him?"

Even though he really didn't need any more caffeine, Rick knew he needed to look like he came to the break room for a reason. A reason other than getting away from the temptation that was Kate Beckett.

Rick put his hands on the counter and took a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to calm his racing heart. He didn't know how much more of this he could take. Resisting Kate on a normal day could get tricky. Thinking that she would use her extensive police training to find a creative, or at the very least painful, way to stop him had kept him in check.

After everything that Kate had unintentionally revealed since he'd started reading her mind that worry was swiftly fading away. So now the only thing that was keeping him from acting was knowing that she would have kept this knowledge from him if she could. To try something now would be taking advantage of her at her most vulnerable. The mere thought of it made him slightly sick.

Rick was at a loss. He couldn't think of a good way to handle the situation. The thought of staying away from Kate made his heart hurt. But the temptation she presented was becoming more and more difficult to fight.

"Castle?"

Rick clenched his fists as the familiar scent of cherries that alerted him to Kate's presence hit his nose, and he could practically feel her breath on his neck. Why was Kate standing so close? He could tell she was hardly a foot away from him. Didn't she realize how difficult this all was for him? Could she really not be aware of what her fantasies were doing to him?

Rick couldn't stop the groan from escaping as he realized that she probably didn't know. Maybe it had reached the time when she should be aware of exactly what all of this was doing to him.

"Castle, are you okay?" Kate asked.

"No Kate, I'm not," Rick told her bluntly. "Right now I'm trying to come up with every reason I can think of to keep from kissing you. And there are some good reasons. But I can only take so much."
Kate sighed. "I'm sorry, Castle."

"It's not your fault, Kate," Rick assured her. "I've been trying to think of how to deal with all of this but the truth is, I've got nothing."

What should we do? I don't want you to have to stay away from the precinct. You're my partner, and I don't want us to lose that.

"I don't want that either, Kate," Rick said.

I'm trying to keep my thoughts under control, Castle. I really am. But sometimes...

"Not helping, Kate," Rick ground out between clenched teeth when her mind filled with another fantasy of them kissing, this time right in the break room of the precinct.

"Maybe we should look at this like a case," Kate pondered aloud. "Maybe if we can figure out why this is happening, we can figure out how to put an end to it."

Rick knew the "it" she was referring to was the mind reading. "That just might work," he said.

"But not here," Kate was quick to say. "I really don't want anyone else to know about this."

"We could go to my place," Rick offered.

"Castle," Kate said his name in a warning tone.

"No funny business," Rick promised. "My mother, at least, should be there. She could be a great help, actually."

"Are you sure you want to risk her reaction to the news?" Kate asked.

"She already knows," Rick said.

"What?" Kate asked. "How?"

"We should probably talk about that when we get there," Rick replied. "She'll be able to fill in any gaps, in case I've forgotten anything."
"All right then," Kate agreed, still slightly baffled. "Let's go."

As always, please leave a review on your way out. A special thank you to Darling Dracorex, who was able to find the story I was looking for. I will be putting in the flashback you mentioned, it just won't be for a few chapters.