A/N: Yes, I have been working on this... not.

Oh, and this is the dialogue-and-suspense part aka Phase I. The actual action comes in Phase II.

"CANADA'S DEAD!" America yelled as he burst into the breakfast hall.

"Who?" was the collective reply from everyone except England (who was beating his head on the wall trying to remember who Canada was) and France (who'd raised his eyebrows and sipped more wine).

"My brother! My hat!"

"How?" France asked as England, having remembered who Canada was, stopped beating his head on the wall.

"He left a note saying that he'd been killed by the terrorists and was going to help co-ordinate stuff with Prussia!"

"So my brother's getting someone to help him organise stuff?"

"Yeah, I guess."

At that moment, obnoxiously loud trumpet music began pouring out of loudspeakers Prussia had hidden in the room. Everyone clapped their hands to their ears.

After the obnoxious trumpet roll, Canada started speaking. "This is Canada! You have until tomorrow to formulate your theories on who killed me. Then you shall hold a conference – at noon – to decide who you will hold responsible for the terrorist attack and then kill them. Note: one person only. I was using "they" to be politically correct."

…

"Okay, Allied Forces Meeting Number 10,377,725 is being called to order by THE HERO!"

"Okay, okay, git, we get it. Now, who are the terrorists?"

"They knew about this Canada's existance, da? I seem to recall the only people to do so were America and France", Russia offered, momentarily not emitting a completely terrifying aura.

"Shouldn't we also think about what if the "terrorists" were told who to kill? Perhaps even how", France defended himself.

"Frog actually has a point, for once. They wouldn't kill someone as obscure as Canada as their first hit, unless they were really, really stupid. And while both of our current suspects, quite frankly, are that dumb, I doubt their partner could reach such colossal levels of stupidity."

"I actually agree with you ahen!"

"So, who did it?"

"It was Germany, that Nazi bastard!"

England massaged his temples. "That was over half a century ago."

"Mes amis! Prussia got to pick who the terrorists are-"

"-so we have to think like Prussia", Russia concluded France's statement. "If I were picking, I'd choose someone not all that obvious that I knew could do it. Like Belarus or Switzerland."

"I dunno, Swissypoo's a bit too obvious."

"'Swissypoo'? You dating or what?"

"Nah, relax, ole Eyebrows. I just can't be bothered to say 'Switzerland'."

"I HAVE AN ACTUAL NAME IN CASE YOU-"

"Stop arguing aru!"

"Now back to topic. France, could you please get some paper and write down our list of suspects?"

"Oui, Russie!"

"So far, Belarus, and Switzerland with a question mark next to him. Anyone else?"

England whipped out a list of nations present. "North Italy? I'd say no. Same for Germany, Prussia wouldn't want his little brother in danger. Japan?"

"Not nowadays ahen."

"Then there's us five – let's skip that section for the time being. Belgium and the Netherlands?"

"I am ze closest -"

"Drop the accent, frog."

France let out a puff of air, then continued: "I am the closest, so I'll answer. Belgium actually does know how to handle a gun, but I doubt Prussia knows this, so no. The Netherlands is more of a fighting type person, and I can be reasonably certain that Prussia knows this, so write it down."

"Austria and Hungary?"

"Austria? No way in hell", came the chorus of voices back. Russia continued, "But Prussia knows that Hungary is quite a fighter, so we better write her down too, da?"

"Yes. Now, Liechtenstein, Poland and Switzerland."

"We already wrote down Swissypoo, 'nope' for Liechtenstein – too shy – and for Polsky, Prussia hates him, so … a rather definate 'maybe'."

"Are we writing him down or not aru!"

"Umm... Yeah! Write him down!"

"Okay. Belarus is already written down. Latvia and Lithuania?"

"I'll answer, da? Latvia isn't the type, and Lithuania wouldn't be able to, he likes everyone too much."

"Estonia and Ukraine?"

"Estonia maybe, he is rather sharp, and I think Prussia would know this. My sister is too much of a crybaby to kill anyone."

"The five Nordics?"

"Finland has been a part of me, so I'll start with him, da? Prussia probably thinks he's a big softy, and so wouldn't pick him. However, when it comes to warfare, he's actually a bit of a miracle-boy and very good at sniping." Russia then proceeded to shudder.

"I shall continue now. Denmark is lacking in the intelligence and finesse departments. He would probably just unthinkingly tell everyone he's a terrorist. No.

"Iceland... I doubt Prussia knows enough about him to consider him pickable. Frankly, the only thing I know is that he's dating Liechtenstein."

"So no write. And I'm betting five pounds that Switzerland will come up and present some twisted logic to explain why Iceland is a terrorist – just to keep him from 'corrupting' Liechtenstein. Anyway, how about Norway and Sweden?"

"I doubt Prussia knows them, so we shouldn't write them down yet."

"Egypt, Greece, Monaco, Turkey, Turkish Republic of Northern Cyprus, Romano, Spain?"

"Turkey yes, the others, non. Well, Romano maybe, but I doubt it."

"Hong Kong, Taiwan, Korea?"

"I seriously doubt that Hong is attending – he wouldn't bother – and Prussia doesn't know him aru. Same problem for Taiwan and Korea, Prussia doesn't know them aru."

"Canada's 'dead', Cuba?"

"THE GUY'S AN EVIL COMMIE BASTARD!"

"Amerique, the idea is to not deafen those next to you!"

"Sealand, Wy, Seborga? Well, Sealand's an annoying jerk who couldn't accomplish anything, so..."

"Seborga is like Italy, and Wy is the kind of joyful artist soul who couldn't kill."

"All right, we're done. France, mind reading the list?"

"Belarus, Switzerland, the Netherlands, Hungary, Poland, Estonia and Turkey. I say we cross out Poland and Estonia."

"That leaves five – good enough for the poll, seeing as the Extended Axis Powers, Neutral Nations and Miscellaneous Nations that Didn't Fit will probably produce lists with some overlap."

"'Extended Axis Powers'?"

"Hungary, Japan, the Italies, Germany, Finland and Austria. Neutral Nations are Switzerland, Liechtenstein, Spain, the Netherlands Monaco and Belgium. Everyone else is in Miscellaneous."