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Chapter 20

Allison had only stopped for gas once as she pressed her old truck as fast as it could go. She had made it to the hospital in less time than she told Sam, and she didn't care that her truck took up two spots as she parked and raced to the building as the sun broke over the horizon. She avoided the slow moving elevators and raced up the stairs, for once thanking the stamina she had developed over her lifetime of hunting as she ran up to the sixth floor. She was panting slightly as her eyes scanned the signs for which way she needed to go to get to Dean's room. Finding it, she set off in a quick pace, not really running but not exactly walking at normal speed either, deciding she didn't need the nurses chasing after her like something was wrong.

"Sam," she breathed and Sam looked up from where he sat next to Dean's bed, a frown on his face as he stood.

"Allie," he said as he took in her disheveled appearance and heard her breathing heavily. "Did you run here?"

"From the parking lot, yeah," she said as she stepped into the room and moved quickly to Dean's bedside. Tentatively she reached down and carefully took his left hand in both of hers. An IV rested on the back of his hand, so she was careful not to disturb it as she looked at Dean's battered face. He was on a ventilator and had several wires hooked up to his head. "What the hell happened? I leave you guys for one day, and he ends up in the hospital?" she asked more than said as she tore her tear filled eyes from Dean's motionless form across to Sam's overgrown one.

"It was Castiel and Uriel," Sam said and Allison frowned.

"Who's Uriel?"

"He's another angel," Sam said and Allison's frown only deepened.

"The angels did this to him? I thought-," she started but Sam interrupted.

"They didn't actually do this to him, but they're the reason he's here," Sam said quickly and at her confused look he continued. "We no more walked into the room at the motel and they were there. They took Dean to . . . they took him to torture Alistair. To find out what demon was killing the angels. When he was in the room with Alistair, the devil's trap they had him in broke and he went to town."

"They . . . they actually asked him to . . . they had to have known what doing that was like for him. What it did to him. How could they even ask him to do something like that?" she asked and Sam sighed.

"They left him no choice, Allie," Sam said and Allison looked away from Sam and down at Dean as she carefully rubbed his hand in hers. "Allie," Sam whispered as he looked behind her and Allison looked over her shoulder just in time to see Castiel walk away from the door. She put down Dean's hand and she practically marched out the door with Sam hot on her heals.

"Wait a minute you son of a bitch," she hissed. She was probably going to go to hell for cursing an angel, but at that moment she really didn't care. Castiel turned around and looked at her. "You get your ass in that room and fix him," she demanded before Sam could even say a word.

"I can't," Castiel said.

"You fixed me you can fix him," she said as she pointed towards the door.

"I can't," Castiel stressed again and out of pure frustration and anger she pulled her right hand back and punched the angel square in the jaw. Castiel simply turned his head as Allison groaned quietly in pain as she flexed out her right hand as she pulled it close to her chest. Even though she knew it would hurt, she wanted to hit him again just because, but Sam put his hands on her shoulders to still her and she could feel his hands trembling through the fabric of her jacket.

"You and Uriel put him in there-," Sam said.

"No," Castiel said lightly, but Sam continued on like he hadn't said a word.

"Because you can't keep a simple devil's trap together," Sam said, his grip tight on Allison's shoulders as she lowered her hand to her side.

"I don't know what happened. That trap-," Castiel paused and sighed in actual frustration before he continued. "It shouldn't have broken. I am sorry."

"This whole thing was pointless," Sam said as his grip moved from Allison's shoulders to her upper arms. She had a feeling him holding onto her was the only thing holding him back from doing the exact same thing to Castiel as she did. "You understand that? The demons aren't doing the hits. Something else is killing your soldiers."

"Perhaps Alistair was lying," Castiel said. Allison had no idea how they had gotten any information out of the demon, but she had a feeling Sam's abilities had something to do with it.

"No," Sam said firmly as his hands left Allison completely. "He wasn't." Sam turned around then and went back into Dean's room. Allison watched him walk away before she looked at Castiel.

"Why won't you fix him?" she demanded.

"It's not that I won't," he said. "It's that I can't."

"What's the difference? You fixed me with no problem last week."

"I had orders to, here, I do not. Dean will recover."

"Let me guess, if he doesn't pull through that's when you'll be there to put him back together again? Just flap your wings and get the hell out of here. You make me sick, using him the way you did, and you got nothing for it but Dean in a coma."

"You should calm yourself," Castiel said heavily as he looked at her. "It is not healthy for you." Allison scoffed and shook her head.

"Whatever," she said before she turned away and went back into Dean's room before Castiel sighed quietly and disappeared in search of Uriel.

"Go and get a room, Sam," Allison said from where she sat next to Dean's bed. "It's getting late and you should get some rest."

"I'm fine, Allie," Sam said. He was sitting in another chair on the other side of the room. "You should go and get some rest. You look like you could use it more than me."

"I'm fine," she said, repeating his words back to him as her thumb ran along the back of Dean's right hand. He had been taken off the ventilator a few hours earlier and was breathing fine on his own, but he was still in mild coma. She had called Addison shortly after her little confrontation with Castiel, and Addison herself had called the angels a few colorful words in response to what Allison told her.

"I'm going to see if I can find some coffee or something," Sam said as he stood. "You want anything?" he asked her and she looked at him.

"A soda, anything as long as it's cold," she said and Sam nodded his head before he left the room. Allison sighed softly as she returned her eyes to Dean. "You know, you can wake up any time now," she said softly, but Dean didn't even move. The wires were still hooked up to his head and in place of the ventilator he had the oxygen cord in his nose. She rested her head on the back of her chair and once again ran her thumb along the back of his hand. Her eyes closed on their own accord and try as she might, she couldn't get herself to stay awake any longer and she drifted off to sleep still holding onto Dean's hand.

Sam walked back into the room a little while after Allison fell asleep and he sighed quietly when he saw Allison's head lulled to the side as she slept in the chair next to Dean. He sat his coffee down on the table next to his chair and walked over to the bed. He put her soda down on small table that held the room's phone and a few items the nurses had left behind. There was an extra blanket on the windowsill behind her, so, he pulled the folded fabric from the windowsill and draped it over Allison's body. She didn't even stir, and slowly he made his way back over to his chair. He sat down and took a drink of the sludge the closing cafeteria called coffee. It was strong and hopefully would keep him awake until Dean woke up at least. He didn't have to wait for long.

"Sam?" came Dean's groggy voice and Sam looked up from the floor to see his brother looking at him through half open eyes. Sam quickly put his coffee cup back on the table and stood before he moved over to Dean's side and gently shook Allison's shoulder. She started awake and gasped quietly as she sat up straight and looked up at Sam. "Allie?" Hearing Dean's voice made the confusion leave her as her tired eyes opened wide as she looked at Dean.

"Dean," she breathed as she pulled the blanket from her body and stood next to Sam, Dean's hand still in hers. Sam put his hand on Allison's shoulder.

"I'm going to get your nurse," Sam said. "Let her know you're awake and they can come check you out." He lowered his hand from Allison's shoulder and left the two of them alone. Dean's eyes moved to Allison's and she gave him a small smile.

"What are you doing here?" Dean asked and Allison's smile slipped from her face.

"Sam called me and told me you were in the hospital," she said. "I was out the door as soon as he told me where you were."

"You didn't have to come, Allie," Dean said, his voice weak as he pulled his hand from hers. His words and the fact that he pulled his hand from hers stung slightly, but she kept her face neutral so he couldn't see it.

"Dean, you were on a ventilator," she said as she reached out and took his hand once more. "I thought the worst when-," she made to continue but Dean cut her off as he pulled his hand away yet again.

"Don't, Allie," he said as he looked up at her. He looked terrible, and even in his weakened state she could hear the slight venom in his voice. Despite the bruises his facial expression matched his voice, and his eyes were cold as he looked at her. "Go back to your sister."

"What? Why?" she asked.

"Because I don't want you here," he said before he turned his head away from her. "Go, Allison. Just go." Dean closed his eyes tightly, regretting the words he said to her but in his mind they had to be said. He didn't deserve her. Not after what he found out.

"Fine," Allison said angrily. "Push me away, Dean," she said and Dean opened his eyes but still didn't look at her. "Maybe this time, I won't be stupid enough to push back." She grabbed her jacket from the chair she had been sitting in and stormed towards the door just as the nurse came in. Allison jerked to a stop and waited for the older woman to go into the room before she rushed out, only to have Sam catch her by the arm.

"Hey, where are you going?" Sam asked her and she looked up at him with tear lined eyes, which made Sam frown. Allison didn't let her tears fall. She wasn't sad. She was pissed off, but if Dean wanted her gone. She was gone.

"He told me to go, I'm going," she said, "and you can tell him he can go to hell. Again." She jerked her arm from his grasp and threw on her jacket as she headed for the stairs. The sooner she got out of there the better. Sam watched Allison march away before he went into Dean's room. The nurse left after a few minutes and Dean walked over to his brother's bedside.

"Dean, what happened with Allie?" Sam asked, but Dean just sighed as he closed his eyes.

"Nothing," he said. "Look, man, just go get some sleep. I'm fine."

"Dean," Sam said, but Dean opened his eyes and looked at his brother.

"Go, Sam, you look like crap," Dean said and Sam sighed. He knew he wasn't going to get any answers out of his brother. His concern turned to slight annoyance, but Sam just shook his head and left the room, leaving Dean to himself. Dean's mind was many places as he just laid there in the silence of his room with his eyes closed. He wasn't sure how long he lay there, but he had a feeling it had been a while when he heard the familiar fluttering sound that usually signaled Castiel's arrival; however, he kept his eyes closed.

"Are you all right?" Castiel asked and Dean turned his head towards the sound of his voice and saw Castiel sitting in the chair Allison had been sitting in not long ago.

"No thanks to you," Dean ground out.

"You need to be more careful," Castiel said.

"You need to learn how to manage a damn devil's trap," he said as he looked away.

"That's not what I mean," Castiel said and Dean looked at him again. "Uriel is dead."

"Was it the demons?" Dean asked.

"It's disobedience," Castiel said before he looked at Dean. "He was working against us." Dean swallowed hard before he turned his head even more towards Castiel.

"Is it true?" he asked. "Did I break the first seal? Did I start all this?"

"Yes," Castiel said, a solemn look on his face, and Dean felt even worse than he had been at the angel's confirmation. "When we discovered Lilith's plan for you, we laid siege to hell, and we fought our way to get to you before you-," Castiel continued, but Dean cut him off.

"Jump started the apocalypse," he said and Castiel sighed quietly as he turned his face towards the ceiling.

"We were too late," Castiel said.

"Why didn't you just leave me there then?"

"It's not blame that falls on you, Dean," Castiel said. "It's fate . . . 'The righteous man who begins it, is the only one who can finish it.' You have to stop it," Castiel said as tears filled Dean's eyes and they looked at each other.

"Lucifer?" he asked as a lone tear rolled down his cheek. "The apocalypse? What does that mean?" Castiel looked away and shook his head slightly. "Hey," Dean said. "Don't you go disappearing on me, you son of a bitch. What does that mean?"

"I don't know," Castiel said.

"Bull," Dean said fiercely.

"I don't," Castiel said firmly as he looked back at Dean. "Dean, they don't tell me much. I know, our fate rests with you."

"I think you guys are screwed," Dean said, his voice straining. "I can't do it, Cas. It's too big. Alistair was right. I'm not all here. I'm not strong enough. I guess I'm not the man either of our dads wanted me to be. Find someone else. It's not me," Dean said as more tears fell from his eyes.

Six Weeks Later

"I'm finally free!" Addison cried as she walked out of the doctor's office, free of the cast that had been around her leg and Allison gave her sister a tired smile as they headed towards their truck. She hadn't talked to Dean in the last six weeks, but she had spoken to Sam a few times. She had no idea if they were broken up or what, but since they hadn't spoken she assumed that they were over. "Allie, are you feeling okay?" Addison asked when they reached the truck and Allison looked at her.

"I'm fine," she said, but Allison grabbed her arm.

"You don't look fine," Addison said and Allison sighed quietly. "Have you talked to Dean at all lately?"

"No," Allison said, "and he's not answering his phone any time I call." Suddenly, Allison's stomach turned for what felt like the twelfth time that day and she rushed towards the bushes along the parking lot and threw up. Addison was quick to her sister's side and pulled her hair back as she threw up what little food she had eaten for lunch into the bushes.

"Allie, maybe you should go into the clinic," she said as Allison wiped at her mouth and stood up. Addison let go of her sister's hair. Allison sighed and shook her head as she took a deep breath and looked up towards the sky.

"I'm fine," Allison said.

"I don't believe you," Addison said and Allison looked at her sister. "Look, Allie, you've been like this for weeks. Could . . . could you be pregnant?" Addison asked carefully and Allison opened her mouth to say 'no' when she remembered the last night she had been with Dean. They hadn't been exactly careful and Allison felt her stomach swirl once more. Addison took in Allison's facial expression and she sighed. "Come on," Addison said as she grabbed Allison's hand. "I'm sure they can squeeze you in." Allison numbly followed her sister as she absently counted back the days to her last period. It was then that she realized she was late. Over two weeks late, and as Addison pulled her inside and to the receptionist's desk, tears filled her eyes. She was so screwed.

"I can't do this, Addie," Allison said as she sat in the passenger side of the truck as Addison drove to Bobby's. Bobby had told her the boys were on their way there, and Addison said that they would there before them since they were closer than the boys. They were only coming from Iowa, the boys from Indiana.

"Allie, you have to tell him," Addison said.

"He hasn't spoken to me in weeks," Allison said. "He's not going to want to see me."

"What exactly happened between the two of you anyway? You never said," Addison said.

"He pushed and I just walked away," Allison said.

"Why?"

"Because he's an idiot," Allison said. "He nearly dies and tells me I shouldn't be there and then tells me to leave. He wanted me gone so I left. I was tired of not being good enough for him to confide in."

"Maybe he thinks he's not good enough for you, Allie. Did you ever think of that?" Addison asked after several quiet beats.

"What?" Allison asked and Addison smiled as they drew closer to Bobby's.

"He's been through hell, Allie, literally and figuratively," Addison said. "He's had a life that was worse than ours, and the only person he ever really had steady in his life is Sam. Yeah, we've only really had each other, but at least our dad actually showed us he loved us. He didn't throw all of his crap on us." Allison heard the truth in her sister's words easily. Dean thought so little of himself. Whatever happened to him with Alistair . . . the demon must have told him something to get him to push her away, and she just walked away. Cursing him as she did so.

"Maybe I'm the idiot," she said quietly.

"You're not an idiot, Allie," Addison said. "You and Dean are just more alike than you think." Allison scoffed a laugh as she put a hand on her lower abdomen as she thought about how she was going to tell Dean the news that the doctor had only confirmed for her the day before.

"What do you think he's going to say?" Allison asked weakly.

"I don't know," Addison said, "but you have to tell him."

"I don't know how."

"It's easy," Addison said as she turned into Bobby's salvage yard. "All you have to do is say 'Dean, I'm pregnant.'"

"Yeah, it's not going to be that easy," Allison said nervously as she lowered her hand to her lap.

"Okay, then how about 'Dean, you're going to be a daddy,'" Addison suggested as she parked the truck and Allison sighed as she rested her head back against the seat and undid her seatbelt.

"That's even worse," Allison said, her throat tight.

"Come on, Allie, let's go inside," she said. "They guys aren't here yet and you can pace out your nerves." Allison sighed quietly as she and Addison climbed out of the truck and headed towards the house. They had no idea what the events of the next few days were going to bring, and Allison's pregnancy was going to be the last thing on their minds.