Sixteenth Birthday

Bugs and Lola were sleeping in their bedroom on September 25. It was Monday so they would have to get up to go to work that day. Their alarm clock went off. They set it to ring a little earlier than usual because it was their son's birthday and they wanted to give him his birthday present.

Bugs turned it off and yawned. Lola yawned as well. Then she heard a phone vibrate. She looked over on her night table and saw Kristy's red phone that said "New Text Message". She rolled her eyes and put it back. "Who in the right mind texts this early in the morning?"

"That's teenagers for ya," Bugs said running his hand through his ears. He put his arm around Lola and moved closer to her. He kissed her neck and she moaned. "Do you think he'll be mad if we give him his present later today?"

Lola smirked at Bugs obviously implying they have sex. "Of course he will."

"Darn. I wanted some of this," he said grabbing her butt.

Lola laughed and kissed him passionately. "You'll have some later."

They got out of bed and put on their robes. Then they walked out into the hallway to wake Jacob up. Before they got halfway down the hallway though, they saw Kristy sitting on one of the futons near the French doors to the back porch talking on the phone.

"I don't know Kimmy, what if he doesn't want to go with me…" She saw her parents staring at her. "Are you going to wake him up now?" They nodded. "I gotta go Kimmy, bye." Kristy stood up and ran over with her long blonde hair flowing behind her. "What did you get him?"

"Do you really think we trust you to keep a secret?" Lola said. Kristy couldn't keep a secret if her life depended on it.

"Why are you up so early?" Bugs asked.

"I couldn't find my phone and I had to talk to Kimmy."

"Your phone was in my room waking me up," Lola said elbowing her.

"Ohh, that's where I left it!"

They went into Jacob's room which was dark and filled with his snoring. Lola turned on the light and they shook him to wake him up.

"Jacob," Lola said.

"Wake up kiddo," Bugs said.

"Wake up stupid!" Kristy shouted.

That made him jump. He opened his eyes a little then glared at them. "Why are you waking me up so early?" he turned in the opposite direction.

Bugs turned him back over. "Happy birthday."

"Do you want your present?" Lola asked.

"What is it?" he asked.

"You have to follow us first."

He sat up and yawned. "Okay." He threw the covers off of himself and they led him downstairs.

"You think you're so good just because you're sixteen. Well I'll have you know fourteen is the golden age…" Kristy said.

"Actually you don't hit your golden ages until you're forty," Lola said.

Bugs felt Jacob fall into him as they were going downstairs. "Whoa, keep your eyes open." He put him back on his feet.

"Geez where is it?" Jacob asked.

They went outside and in the drive way was a shiny black Hyundai Sonata.

"Happy Birthday!" Lola said giving him a hug.

"This is for passing your driver's Ed class," Bugs said.

Jacob stared in disbelief for a moment. "You got me a car?" He ran over to it and felt the glossy exterior. "Wow! This is the shit!"

"How come he got a car?" Kristy asked crossing her arms.

"Because he knows how to drive," Lola said.

Jacob got in the car. "Damn!" he shouted in happiness.

"Hey, watch your language. You're not legal yet!" Bugs said.

Kristy ran over and got in the passenger's seat. "This is so cool!" She pressed a random button and the trunk popped open.

Jacob pushed her hand away. "Stop it!" He pressed it again to close it. Then he pressed the radio button.

"Yeah Girl its on,
You know what it is
When I finally make it home ,
I just hope that you Miss me
A little when I'm gone ,
I just hope that you miss me
A little when I'm gone…"

"I hate this song," Kristy said trying to change it.

Jacob pushed her away again. "Too bad, it's my car." He pressed a few more buttons and was fascinated by all of them. "I have got to drive this somewhere!"

Bugs tapped on the glass and Jacob lowered the window. "Come back in ten minutes, you still have to go to school."

"Okay dad." Jacob drove the car out of the driveway and Bugs and Lola went inside. Jacob drove down the street and raised the windows down. "Hey look! Isn't it tight? Jacob Bunny is now a MAN!"

Kristy rolled her eyes and examined his nails. "Would you shut up? It's just a car."

"I'd like to see what you do when you get a car!"

"Watch the road!" Kristy said pointing to the stop sign they were about to hit. Jacob quickly swerved out of the way and didn't take his eyes off the road after that. "I thought you passed your driving test. Don't you know you're supposed to keep your eyes on the road? I should have got the car."

Jacob turned the music up louder to tune her out.

"Uhh, I'm a love machine
And I wont work for nobody but you
It's only me and her because the Bugatti coupe
Its blood gang Slime but I party with Snoop
I aint lying I shoot
You don't need signs for proof
Turn you to a vegatable like you lining soup
And when Im in the booth, bitch the lion is loose
Man I got so many styles I am a group
Damn, I'll be gone till November…"

"Ten minutes is up," Kristy said pointing to the clock.

Jacob looked at the clock and saw she was right. "Damnit." He turned around and drove back home. They went inside and found their parents in the kitchen making breakfast.

"Did you have fun?" Bugs asked.

"I would have if Jacob turned off that dumb song."

"That was the best!" He hugged Bugs and Lola.

"Glad you liked it," Lola said kissing his cheek. "Go get dressed, both of you." With that they went upstairs.

"I take it we're the greatest parents in the world now," Bugs said.

"I know," Lola said with a laugh.

Bugs put some fruit salad and toast in front of her then sat down with some himself.

"It's hard to believe how old they're getting," Lola said putting a strawberry in her mouth.

Bugs nodded in agreement. "It's seems like only a couple days ago they were babies keeping us up all night."

Lola smiled and nodded. "What are we gonna do when they go to college? I don't even remember how to live life without them around."

Bugs shrugged. "Spend our summers in Prague on a non stop honeymoon," he suggested.

Kristy came downstairs running a comb through her hair.

"Change your skirt," Bugs said before she even took two steps into the kitchen.

"Why?" Kristy said. "I like this skirt."

"I don't care, it's too short. Go change it."

"Dad…"

"Bye," he said waving her out of the kitchen. "I swear if she wore that those boys would be all over her ass."

Lola laughed so hard she almost choked on her toast. "Bugs Bunny you crack me up!"

Bugs laughed as well. "I'm serious. All those boys ever think about is girls asses."

"Yeah I know. I'm married to you after all. All you ever think about is my ass."

Kristy came back downstairs now wearing some skinny jeans. She sat down at the table to eat breakfast. "Happy now dad?"

"No, your pants are too tight."

Kristy looked at Lola desperately. "Mom…"

Lola kicked Bugs under the table. "Let her wear 'em."

"Fine." He stood up. "You done baby?"

Lola nodded and stood up. "I'll wash them." She took his plate and put them in the sink. Bugs walked over to her and kissed her lips. Lola wrapped her arms around him and deepened their kiss. Then he dipped so that her ears were touching the floor and she giggled. He kissed her chest up to her lips and kissed her hard.

"Mom dad, that's disgusting," Kristy said. Her parents had absolutely no discretion when they were kissing around the house.

"Where is your brother?" Lola asked.

"He said he was trying to get his 'swagger' on." She rolled her eyes. "As if he ever had any."

Bugs looked at the clock. "Fifteen minutes." He left the kitchen to get his things together.

Just as he left Jacob came in. He snapped his fingers. "'Sup bratty little sister who doesn't have a cool car."

"Mom…."

"Eat your breakfast Jake."

Jacob sat down at the table.

Bugs came in a few minutes later. "Have any of you seen my keys?"

"No," Lola and Kristy said.

"Dad, why do I need your keys?" He held up the keys to his car. "I have my own."

"You're never gonna let those car keys out of your sight are you?" Bugs said.

"Of course not." He stood up and put his dishes in the sink. Then he adjusted the collar of his jacket. "If you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go pick up Cassie." He put on a pair of sunglasses and headed toward the front door.

"Don't be late for school or you're not having that party!" Lola called to him.

"Sure thing mom!"

When Bugs and Lola got to Acme Looniversity Kristy jumped out of the car and went to talk to Kimmy who was heading towards the door. The two of them got out of the car and saw Jacob drive up with his girlfriend Cassandra. All of the juniors immediately crowded him and stared in awe at his awesome car.

"He is way too cocky," Bugs said shaking his head.

"He takes after you, you're cocky," Lola said elbowing him. "I'm sure when you got you're first car you showed it to everyone you came in contact with."

They started to walk inside. "That's not my point."

Later that afternoon Bugs and Lola were walking to the cafeteria for some lunch. Inside they saw Jacob sitting on a table next to Cassandra and a few of his friends bragging about how awesome his party would be that night.

"What does your house look like?" one of the girls next to him asked.

"What does his house look like?" his friend Garret repeated in disbelief that she asked that. "His house is bigger than your house, my house, and the president's house put together!"

"I don't know about the president's house…maybe the Taj Mahal," Jacob said.

Cassandra laughed. "Too true."

"I'm sure Cassie knows what his bedroom looks like," Sam said laughing. The other's laughed too.

Jacob and Cassandra were silenced for a moment. Then Jacob pushed his shoulder and gave him the finger. "Fuck off man."

"You gonna have beer?" Garret asked.

"I was getting to that. Bring some. My parent's aren't letting me into the wine cellar as if their lives depended on it."

"What does it have like, five locks and an alarm system on it?" Garret meant for this to be a joke.

"Yes."

"Oh."

Bugs and Lola went into the teacher's cafeteria and sat down next to Daffy, Melissa, and Sly.

"That's a nice car you bought him, I want it," Daffy said.

"You already have five cars, you don't need anymore," Bugs said.

"So what's he doing for this sweet sixteen party he's been talking about all day?" Melissa asked.

"I know, that's all I've heard all morning. 'Are you going to Jacob's sweet sixteen party?', 'it's gonna be so awesome', 'his house is so huge'. It's ridiculous," Sly said.

"They're gonna be outside in the backyard doing whatever the hell teenager's do. We on the other hand are gonna be chilling," Lola said.

"Oh really? All teenagers do these days is get drunk and sleep around," Sly said smirking.

Lola rolled her eyes. "Would you shut up? Our wine cellar is locked up."

"Drunk or not, these kids are out by 1:00, no exceptions," Bugs said.

"I'd like to see that happen," Daffy said rolling his eyes.

"We'll throw them on the street if we have to, then they can explain to their parents why they weren't home before dawn."

That evening everything was set up for Jacobs's party. Kristy was sitting in the kitchen with Kimmy talking, Bugs was playing the piano and Lola was setting up snacks out back. Bugs and Lola planned to sit around relaxing and drinking wine while the party took place then they'd tell everyone to leave when it was over.

"How many people are coming?" Kimmy asked.

Kristy shrugged. "I just know it's a lot. I don't think there's going to be any freshman there."

"Oh well, we'll get to dance with some older boys," Kimmy said winking.

Kristy nodded eagerly. "I've got my eyes on Austin right now."

"The guy that played the lead role in the musical?" Kimmy asked. Kristy nodded. "Ooh, he's hot."

"And he's really nice, he helped me a lot during the rehearsals."

"I thought your dad helped you?"

"Well he's an actor so of course he did. But Austin is cute."

"I thought you liked Randy?" Kimmy said referring to someone who was actually in their grade.

"I do, but he's not here. I can't go to a party with juniors and seniors and not dance with anyone; I wouldn't feel right in the morning."

"At least you have a popular brother who goes to this school. All my sister's graduated," Kimmy said with a pout. "Do you think Jacob will want to dance with me?" She'd had a huge crush on Jacob since she met him. And as he grew older, he just got so much hotter.

Kristy rolled her eyes. "You're crazy. He'll just be dancing with his girlfriend that night."

They sat there for a moment eating their cookies and listening to Bugs play. "Geez, how does he do it?" Kimmy exclaimed.

"It's easy; he taught me everything I know."

Jacob came downstairs wearing his leather jacket, some sunglasses, and some gold chains (which obviously weren't real gold). Lola came down the hallway as he came downstairs.

"You look nice, did you put a lot of time into that," she said smirking.

Jacob popped his collar. "I gotta get my swagger mom."

Lola straightened his collar. "Are your friends almost here?"

Jacob nodded. "Yeah, Garret's gonna be here in a couple minutes." Lola ran her hand through his hair but he moved her hand. "Mom I spent forever on that!"

Lola laughed. "It looks the same as it always does."

"No it doesn't, I put gel in it."

Lola kissed his forehead. She knew he didn't like that but she couldn't help babying him sometimes. The doorbell rang. "Go get that." He went to get the door and she went to sit next to Bugs who was still playing the piano. She kissed his cheek and he kissed her lips.

Garret came into the house. "'Sup son?" He said. He handed Jacob a birthday present.

"Thanks G," Jacob said.

Garret listened to the piano music. "Are we gonna be listening to classical music all night?"

Jacob laughed. "Nah, that's just my dad. There's a DJ out back, c'mon." Before they took two steps the door bell rang again and a few more of his friends arrived. "Hey you guys, we're going out back."

Before he got outside Kristy came over to him. "Can me and Kimmy come outside with you?"

Jacob shrugged. "Yeah, I don't care. As long as you don't dork up the place."

Kristy went back in the kitchen. "Let's go!" The two of them went outside.

About fifteen minutes later most of the party guests were there and they were outside dancing and sitting around the huge backyard talking.

Meanwhile Bugs and Lola were sitting on the second floor back porch balcony drinking wine and observing everything.

"I remember my high school parties," Bugs said. "I think I hooked up with someone at one of them."

Lola shook her head and laughed. "You didn't stop did you?"

Bugs laughed as well. "I stopped when I met you, that's all that matters. And you even told me you hooked up with someone."

Lola snorted. "That was the absolute worst decision of my life. The guy was drunk and almost killed both of us. I hope they don't turn out to be as stupid as we were."

"They won't Lo, we've taught them well."

Lola looked out over the party again. "Where are they?" she said scanning the backyard for her children.

Bugs saw Kristy talking to Austin by the pool. "Why the hell is he talking to her?" he wanted to smack him upside the head right then.

Lola laughed and rolled her eyes. "Let her have fun Bugs, she won't do anything wrong, trust me."

Bugs sipped his wine while eyeing the two of them. "Fine, but if something happens I blame you. Where's Jake?"

Lola pointed to him pouring himself some soda and talking to one of his friends. "He's right there."

"At least he's not chatting up any girls."

Lola pushed his arm. "He has a girlfriend; he wouldn't do that like you would."

Bugs pushed her back. "I wasn't a cheater Lo."

"Should we get his cake?"

"Yeah, let's do that before I fall asleep."

Lola went downstairs while Bugs got the cake. She went over to Jacob. "Jake, your father's bringing your cake. Tell your friends to settle down so we can sing happy birthday."

Jacob got on the microphone. "Hey you guys, the cake's here!"

They all crowded around the table where Bugs had put a huge beautifully decorated cake with 16 candles on it. They all sang happy birthday to him and he blew out the candles in one breath. They all got a piece of cake and Jacob opened his presents. He got an iPad, money, clothes, and a lot of other things. After all that everyone got more cake and the DJ blasted the music again.

Jacob went over to Garret. "Did you get the beer?"

"Yeah it's in my car." Jacob looked up at the balcony to make sure his parents weren't still sitting there then he and Garret brought the beer bottles and hid them behind the sodas on the food table. As soon as they did everyone swarmed it. "Maybe I should have brought more…" Garret said.

Kristy came over to Jacob who had snagged a bottle himself. "Mom and dad are going to murder you!"

Jacob smirked. "What mom and dad don't know won't hurt them." He handed her one as well. She stared at it for a second never having tasted beer before but she followed his lead and grimaced at the taste. Jacob laughed. "You'll get used to it."

"I take it you drink a lot?" Kristy said.

Jacob shrugged. "Not a lot but occasionally. Now you won't be able to grow up saying you've never had a drink."

"Hey Jake, come over here and play!" said one of his friends on their basketball court.

Jacob nodded then turned to Kristy. "I would get too drunk if I were you, mom and dad are gonna get suspicious." He went over to his friends and they started a game of basketball.

"I wish I had a basketball court in my backyard," Sam said.

"Jake's got it all, a basketball court, tennis court, and a pool," said Chris.

Jacob snatched the ball from him and made a shot. He laughed at the look on his face. "Stop talking and pay attention!"

Soon Cassandra and some of the girls came over. "Are you guys gonna do anything but play basketball?"

Jacob smirked and came over to her. "Of course not. What do you want me to do?"

"Well first of all wipe all that nasty sweat off you," she said.

Angie laughed. "Ha, she told you Jake."

Jacob glared at her jokingly. "Girl, did I ask you for your comments." He wiped the sweat from his forehead and kissed Cassandra.

"Ohhh!" the guys said laughing and pointing. Sam came over to them. "Ya know, I think we should leave these two alone. They need privacy to do stuff."

"No, you should leave before I smack you into next week," Jacob said.

"Alright man, I was just kidding," Sam said holding his hands up defensively.

They all left and Jacob kissed Cassandra again. They walked over to the main part of the backyard hand in hand. Some of the guys were wearing only their boxers and had jumped into the pool. Some of the girls were sitting around with drinks watching them and rating them on how sexy their chest was. Kristy and Kimmy were sitting with a few junior girls talking about makeup and TEEN VOGUE. There was a group of kids dancing around the DJ table and another group eating by the food table.

"Who wants to play spin the bottle?" Angela asked holding up and empty beer bottle. A lot of people gathered around including Kristy and Kimmy. Jacob and Cassandra sat on some chairs and watched.

Angela tossed her long hair excitedly. "Me first." She spun the bottle and it landed on the boy she had a crush on, Josh. She looked like she'd explode with happiness.

Her friend Samantha slapped her arm. "Don't just sit there, kiss him!"

Angela and Josh kissed a little harder than they should have and everyone laughed and shouted.

"Who's next? Do you wanna go Cassie?" Samantha asked.

Cassie shook her head and glanced at Jacob. "I'll pass."

"I wanna go!" Kimmy exclaimed. Samantha handed her the bottle and she spun it. It landed on Danny who was extremely cute. She let out a little squeal of happiness and they kissed. Afterward Kimmy turned to Kristy. "Your turn."

Kristy spun the bottle nervously. Jacob sipped his drink now interested. It landed on Austin. He reached over and kissed her and she looked at him blushing deeply afterwards.

Jacob looked at Cassandra. "You wanna go do something more interesting?"

Cassandra nodded. "Of course, spin the bottle is getting old." They stood up and walked across the yard to the maze. "How in the heck is there a maze in your backyard?"

Jacob shrugged. "I wonder that too. But my dad built this place and he's crazy."

Cassandra looked up at the tall hedges. "Do you know how to get out of here?"

Jacob laughed. "Of course I do Cassie. I've been going through this maze since I was little." They walked for a few seconds and found two of their friends making out pretty hard. The blushed and Jacob and Cassie walked away trying not to laugh. They sat down on the ground and put down the drinks they were holding.

Bugs and Lola had gotten tired of observing everything so they were in their bedroom completely unaware of the drinking or the spin the bottle, or the teenagers making out in the maze. Instead they were lying in their bed in their pajamas in each other's arms watching a movie they'd seen a million times.

"Should we check on them?" Bugs asked.

Lola shook her head and hugged him tighter to her. "No, don't leave me."

Bugs smiled and kissed her forehead. "I won't, Lola."

A few hours later it was exactly one o clock. Bugs went outside sleepily and found Jacob sitting by the pool laughing with his friends. As soon as he got outside everyone hid their beer bottles so he wouldn't see them. "Jake, tell your friends to go home."

"Aw dad, just another hour?"

Bugs shook his head. "No, it's late. And you have to go to school tomorrow."

Jacob sighed and got on the microphone again and told everyone it was time to leave. In the front yard there were tired and impatient parents waiting for their children. After everyone was gone Bugs ordered Jacob and Kristy inside to go to bed, they'd clean everything up in the morning.

Bugs and Lola woke their kids up and bit early to clean up the backyard. While they were cleaning Lola found one of those beer bottles. "Jacob!" she shouted.

Jacob cringed when he heard her. He knew he should have cleaned that stuff up last night. "Yeah mom?" he said nervously.

"What did we tell you when we said you could have this party?"

"Um…don't invite strangers?"

"Jake we specifically told you no alcohol!" Bugs said. "You are going to be in big trouble for this when you get home today."

Jacob looked at the squirrels running up the tree. "Yes sir…"

After cleaning up Lola and Bugs were sitting at the kitchen table with their breakfast in front of them waiting for the kids.

"Do you think we should have supervised that party better?" Bugs asked her.

Lola nodded knowingly. "Yeah, maybe part of it was our fault. This is going on our list of stupid things we've done as parents." She took out a stack of stapled sheets of paper.

Stupid Things We've Done as Parents

1. Forgot to put baby powder on Jacob. Then he got a diaper rash.

2. Gave Jacob ice cream, which it turns out he's allergic to

3. We were almost at the end of Call of Duty, then we left it unsupervised with Kristy. She deleted the entire game and we had to start from level 1.

4. Let Jacob watch Harry Potter 4 at three years old and this resulted in nightmares about Voldemort for the next week.

5. Gave Jacob ice cream seven years later while on a trip to Miami.

6. Bought the kids Play Doh (Play Doh stuck in the carpet)

7. Bought the kids paint (paint all over the kitchen)

8. Bought the kids Moon Sand, which was supposedly not messy in the commercial (Moon Sand all over the house for the next 2 weeks)

9. Left my computer unsupervised and Kristy turned it off. Now I put tape over the power button every time I leave the room.

10. Left my motorcycle keys in an available spot (unintentionally of course) and Jacob got to them. Luckily I stopped him before he got hurt.

11. Let Jacob and Kristy play alone at Acme Looniversity and spent an hour looking for them afterwards

12. Let Kristy play on my My Space and she rearranged my lay out.

…...

258.) Let Jacob throw a sweet sixteenth party. Didn't supervise well and found beer bottles everywhere in the morning.

Moral of the chapter: kids, don't throw a wild party with drinking, your parents will find out. parents, make sure there's no drinking

I left osme stuff on the list bold to distinguish between Bugs and Lola's writing. they were in different fonts in Word. Bugs is in bold and Lola is regular.

By the way, the song is "Miss Me" by Drake and Lil Wayne. i personally don't like that song very much but that was the first rap song that came to my mind at the time i wrote this.