Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon, sad but true.

Story 54: You don't know Jack

Summary: Asanuma, Motoki read an interesting statistic and decide to put it in play.

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Usagi blinked numbly, brow furrowing while unconsciously her tiny fists balled at her sides. "H-," She spluttered, pausing to take a deep breath before parting her lips once more. "How could you," Unclenching her tiny fists she reached over and clutched at Mamoru's green jacket for support.

Mamoru's lips quirked, letting out a tiny cough he tried to compose himself. "I just-" He cleared his throat, glancing away.

Feeling annoyance curling in the pit of her belly the petite blonde couldn't help but stamp her little feet, "Explain." She out rightly demanded, staring at the duo's interlocked hands.

Gesturing grandly Mamoru nodded, "Yes, please," His lower lip quirked once again, fighting a grin. "Explain."

The pair blinked in unison both eagerly anticipating an answer from the two gentlemen, or rather the pair of gentleman and lady at his side.

Asanuma coughed lightly, his hand moving to cover his smudged ruby lips. "Let me start by stating that this was not my idea." He stated, self-consciously tugging at the ends of his tiny mini-skirt.

Quickly before Asanuma could mutter out another discrediting syllable Motoki stepped in front of him, "What Asa-chan is trying to say is." He turned, hugging Asanuma's shoulders and poking at his dimpled cheek with his index finger. "We didn't mean to fall madly in love with each other."

Paling Usagi's mouth formed a tiny O, Mamoru placed his hands at his waist desperately trying to maintain a straight face while Asanuma's eyes widened.

"So, when you found out," Usagi coughed, interlocking her digits. "That you were in love, Asanuma also discovered he was always meant to be a woman?"

Mamoru snorted, swallowing his laughter orbs scanning over Asanuma's disheveled appearance: A long blonde wig sat loftily atop of his crown, falling in ringlets past his shoulder, a pink tank top hugged awkwardly at the boy's torso while the pinnacle of this awesomely bad sundae was the tiny black miniskirt that hugged his waist.

Growling Asanuma angrily took a hold of Motoki's hand and led him away from the pair. "Excuse us for a second," Motoki called out over his shoulder. "What?" He whispered harshly, entering a secluded alleyway.

Biting his lower lip a flush of scarlet lined with embarrassment colored his cheeks. "Tell me why I have to endure this humiliation again."

"Because my man," Motoki made a mover to touch his friend's shoulder but Asanuma slapped his hand away.

"Don't touch me," Asanuma hissed through a set of clenched teeth.

"Ok," Motoki took a step backwards. "Remember what this is for bud; channel that frustration into that goal. Think of Usa-chan and Mamo-kun, they need to be together. And, think of it, if we're able to accomplish that goal we'd be the best matchmakers in all of Juban if not," He gasped. "Japan."

Shifting awkwardly, unused to the six inch stiletto heels, Asanuma's expression of irritation didn't waver. "But, why do I have to wear pantyhose?"

Motoki snapped his fingers, "Because One: Your legs are atrocious," Asanuma growled but the gesture went ignored. "And Two: I read a statistic that women are more prone to seek out love when they are currently envious of a fabulous couple and who better for her to be jealous of then us handsome devils."

Asanuma could only blink at his faux lover.

Enthusiastically Motoki patted Asanuma's shoulders, "Now fix your make-up and let's go back out there and create some magic," He stated, slapping him on the behind before darting out the alleyway.

Across the parking lot Usagi grinned watching Motoki exit, "Do you think we should just tell them?" She whispered towards Mamoru.

Waving his hand in greeting Mamoru discreetly leaned towards Usagi, "What tell them we've been dating for the past year and ruin all their generous matchmaking attempts." He whispered, shaking his head, "No way." He stated, sharing a giggle with the girl he loved.

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News: updated 4.20.10: I will issue out a formal apology in the next chapter and beg you all to forgive me.