Disclaimer: I also own nothing to do with Pink's song So What. If you don't know the song, you may want to look it up and listen to it online.
Time for more fun and games...I hope you like it.
Special thanks:
To mamaverd for the song suggestion.
To mamaverd and Sairs J for assuring me that you would be able to follow along with my song and dance number – that it did indeed make sense. Thank you!
The girls had thought about dressing up in a specific outfit – a stripper costume to represent his ex Edie, flight attendant uniforms because of Dov's tall tales, sexy cop costumes. But as much as they wanted to give Dov his fantasy, they weren't willing to compromise their reputations. It was hard enough proving yourself on the force. No, they decided they would just be themselves and have fun with it.
So they had settled on form fitting V-neck t-shirts that showed just enough cleavage without being trashy. Each girl wore a different color but each shirt was imprinted with the same saying: You must be a Police Officer, 'cause you got fine written all over you. When they paired that with their favorite skinny jeans and 3 inch heels, they were looking pretty fine themselves.
Each woman took up stance behind one of the three guys. Gail was behind Chris, who had now returned to his seat. Traci stood behind Dov, and Andy stood behind Sam leaning down to whisper awkwardly in his ear. "Sorry about this."
Sam didn't even have an answer for her; he had no idea exactly what 'this' was and at that point he didn't really care. Because all he could think about in that moment was how good she looked, and how close she was, and how good she smelled...
Behind Dov, Traci cleared her throat. "Dov, we couldn't figure out what to get you for your birthday so we decided to give you a song. I hope you like it."
Chris nodded to Jerry and he stepped over to the stereo to start the music.
Dov couldn't wipe the grin off his face even if he tried. "Is this why you guys have been skipping the Penny so many nights?"
"Yes, now shut up and enjoy it." Gail ordered from beside him.
"Yes ma'am."
As soon as the music started, Dov recognized the song as Pink's, 'So What'. He knew the song but had no idea that his friends had made a few modifications. His grin grew even wider as the women not only sang but started performing some choreographed moves as well. He couldn't believe that they would go to all this trouble for him.
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na
Na, na, na, na, na, na
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na
Na, na, na, na, na, na
We're sorry you lost your girlfriend
You don't know what to do
We'll help you find a new one
And she'll be better for you
Dov started to laugh again when he realized what they had done. Ever since Edie broken up with him, he had been complaining about being single and wanting a girlfriend. The women had obviously picked up on that and he loved that they were having fun with it.
You need a brand new attitude
You know it's not too late
You can do so much better
We'll find you another date
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na
We'll find you another date
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na
We'll find you another date
So far the dance steps had just been your run of the mill background dancer fare, but as soon as they hit the chorus the real fun began.
'Cause, guess what you drive a cop car
The three women sat down in each of the guys' laps and grabbed their hands lifting them up to mime the motion of driving a car.
The second Andy hit Sam's lap, his eyes got huge. But before he could even truly register what had just happened, she quickly muttered, "sorry" and she was gone. In sync with the other girls, she had spun quickly out of his lap.
You got your cop moves and you don't need her
She had kept hold of one wrist though and his mouth dropped open as he felt her pull it behind him. She reached for his other hand and held it behind the chair too. This was their 'cop move'; it was as if they were about to cuff each man behind his back. Still holding his hand behind him, Andy along with her two cohorts leaned down to sing more of the chorus in the guys' ears.
And so what, you're in for more fun
And once that we're done we're gonna show her tonight
You're alright, you're just fine and she's a fool
Sam knew he had to pull himself together before he made a spectacle of himself; he closed his mouth and swallowed hard trying to regain the control he could feel slipping away. Unfortunately he could feel Andy's breath warm against his neck and it was driving him crazy. There were many nights he had dreamed of her being this close, but there was definitely no audience present, especially not this audience.
He knew that most of the eyes had to be trained on him and Andy just waiting for a reaction and he was trying his best not to give it to them. Just when he thought he couldn't hold his poker face any longer, Andy let go of his arm, as all the girls straightened up and strutted back to face their guys again.
'Cause, guess what, you drive a cop car
You've got your cop moves and you don't want her tonight
This time the three women stayed standing, facing their man as they grasped his hands to imitate the driving motion once again. But for this instance, their 'cop moves' involved the girls guiding the guys' hands down the side of their body mimicking a first class pat down.
The catcalls from the crowd were coming fast and furious and if it was possible, Dov's grin got even larger. Sam wasn't the only one enjoying the show. But where Sam was trying to quell his reaction, Dov just let it all out by joining in with the cheers. Dov turned to Chris to see if he was enjoying himself just as much; the matching smirk said it all. Dov then flipped his head the other way and his jaw dropped. How could he have forgotten that it was Swarek and McNally beside him? He mentally berated himself; he had been waiting a long time to see something happen between these two and he had been missing the whole thing.
It didn't look like he'd missed much though; and he was somewhat disappointed. Andy was going through the motions but there were no smouldering glances. And unfortunately for Dov, Sam had regained his composure so he was simply allowing himself to be led. But the second Andy placed Sam's hands on her body; Dov could see his whole body react. Now we're getting somewhere.
It was taking every ounce of Sam's willpower to not just grab Andy and pull her to him. But he could feel more than just Epstein studying him and searching for the tells that he had been trying to hide.
When Andy spun and walked away to take her place for the next verse, she put some much needed space between them. Sam took that moment to look over at a grinning Dov who was wiggling his eyebrows and giving him a knowing nod.
One famous Swarek glare later though and Dov was back to facing straight ahead. Sam then turned his glare on Oliver and Jerry who were standing only a few feet away laughing so hard they could barely stand up straight. They had not missed the fact that Sam's hands had stayed forward an extra second, as if groping blindly for Andy after she had already walked away. His glare was lost on them though; they were having too much fun. Sam knew any attempt to hide it from them was futile; they knew his feelings all too well and had called him on them more than once. So he simply focused back on Andy realizing that although she looked great, something seemed to be a bit off.
She doesn't know what she's missing
How could she walk out on you
We know she's going to regret it
When we find you someone new
We'll find you someone special
Somebody really great
You'll forget all about her
You won't have long to wait
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na
You won't have long to wait
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na
Yeah, you're not gonna have to wait
Andy was just not completely comfortable; there really was no other way to describe it. Gail had snuck a peek over at her and she could tell. Andy was just going through the motions while trying to smile, probably mostly for Dov's sake, but it was obviously forced. It didn't come near her eyes. Most of the crowd probably wouldn't notice, but Gail did. Andy had had so much fun in rehearsals that now it was obvious that she was simply on autopilot. Gail was beginning to rethink their decision to push her into this; maybe she wasn't ready. But what could they do about it now?
The verse and subsequent distance gave Sam the reprieve he needed to catch his breath and figure out what was bothering Andy. He knew her well enough to figure it out.
As the girls finished up their moves with the verses, everyone anticipated the coming of another chorus and the catcalls started up again. The guys knew it too and as Sam prepared himself for Andy's proximity, he knew exactly what he was going to do. It probably wouldn't ease his 'struggle' any, but it would definitely make it easier for her.
'Cause, guess what, you drive a cop car
You got your cop moves and you don't need her
And so what, you're in for more fun
And once that we're done you're gonna show her tonight
The girls danced in synchronization as they moved towards their 'partners' to act out the chorus once again. As with the previous time, the three women sat down in the guys' laps and grabbed their hands to 'drive the car'. Before Andy could say what he knew was coming, Sam leaned over her shoulder. "Don't say sorry."
"But I'm sorry you have to sit through this." She blurted quickly as the other two girls glared at her for not singing. She spun quickly out of Sam's lap keeping hold of one wrist and pulling it behind him as the other two did the same with their guys.
When she leaned down to sing the rest of the chorus, Sam turned to look her in the eye and wink. "I'm not." He had seen her discomfort too and was going to do everything in his power to ease it. She met his gaze and realized that he was telling the truth; he was actually enjoying himself and she was relieved...and happy.
She relaxed almost immediately and started having fun herself, which of course meant Sam's enjoyment level went up too. Because now she was really smiling her gorgeous smile and he couldn't get enough. When she sung in his ear this time, her voice seemed to have dropped to a lower octave and it was doing funny things to his stomach. Nope, it definitely wasn't easing up anything for him.
You're alright, you're just fine and she's a fool
'Cause, guess what, you drive a cop car
You've got your cop moves and you don't want her tonight
As before, each girl let go of her man's arms before standing up straight and strutting back to face him again. After reaching down and grabbing their hands from the front to make the drive, the girls again helped the guys deliver a pat down. But there was a palpable change this time and it could be felt by the entire room. Whereas Andy completely avoided eye contact with Sam the first go round, this time she did not let her gaze falter. She locked eyes with Sam and wouldn't let him escape (not that he wanted to) as she guided his hands down the side of her body.
Sam's friends couldn't even laugh this time. This was not your standard issue pat down; it almost felt like they were intruding on a personal moment and they were now the ones feeling the discomfort. The room had taken on a whole new atmosphere and everyone was aware of it...except Sam and Andy. They were oblivious to the tension in the rest of the room; they were in a world that was all their own.
She wasn't there, she didn't care
She wants it all but that's not fair
You gave her love, you gave your all
She wasn't there, she let you fall
And, guess what, you drive a cop car
You got your cop moves and you don't need her
And so what, you're in for more fun
And once that we're done you're gonna show her tonight
By now all three guys were having a blast and having already run through it a couple of times before, they knew the routine. They were wise to 'their moves' so they played right along with the girls. They knew when to drive the car and even helped out with the 'cuffs'.
You're alright, you're just fine and she's a fool
'Cause, guess what, you drive a cop car
You've got your cop moves and you don't want her tonight
Sam enjoyed having Andy in his lap, but it still took all of his willpower not to grab her and just hold on. At least he knew his chance to touch was coming and he was going to make the best of it. He had already given up trying to hide it; he would never get a chance like this again and right now he didn't care who saw.
He didn't even wait for Andy to guide his hands down her body; he just helped himself. The other guys did too, but Sam was a little more 'helpful'. Whereas the other two patted, Sam's touch lingered on Andy's body and each pat blended into the next until it felt more like a caress.
This time it was Sam that locked onto Andy's gaze and he could see how his touch was affecting her. In fact he could have sworn that the last few words out of her mouth were moaned rather than sung. He loved that he was the one making her feel this way and the firmly entrenched dimples made it undeniable.
You're alright, you're just fine and she's a fool
'Cause, guess what, you drive a cop car
You've got your cop moves and you don't want her tonight
With the final chorus, the girls again sat down in the laps and after driving the car, they just used the guys' arms to wrap themselves in a hug.
The song ended with cheers from everyone before comments immediately erupted from every direction. Everyone who had stayed was so glad they had and knew that they would definitely be bragging about this tomorrow.
Traci gave Dov a kiss on the cheek and wished him a Happy Birthday without moving from his lap. He hugged her tight and told her how much he enjoyed it.
Gail kissed Chris full on the lips and listened as he told her what a great job she did. He then pulled her in for a tighter hug, not quite ready to let her go.
Andy was sitting in Sam's lap, her face reddening with every second. Without a doubt, she ended up having fun with the song but now that it was done, she wasn't sure what she should do next. She knew Sam wasn't mad; he had implied that he was OK with it all, and it had been pretty obvious by his grin that he definitely enjoyed it too. But she was still a little embarrassed. She wasn't used to being this forward with him and especially not in front of a crowd which she had just recently become aware of again.
Needing to regroup, she moved to get up but Sam just tightened his grip and turned her sideways on his lap so he could see her face. "Where do you think you're going?" Now that he had her right where he wanted her, he wasn't ready to let her go.
"What do you mean? The dance is over."
"But the other girls haven't gotten up yet." He justified.
Andy's blush deepened as she saw that it was indeed true; the other two women were in quiet conversations with Dov and Chris and had not yet moved to get off their laps. "That's different."
"How?"
"You know. I mean...I just thought." She really didn't know what she thought at the moment so she went back to the initial awkwardness. "I mean this couldn't have been comfortable for you."
"I'm actually quite comfortable." He confirmed as he started to lean in towards her. "...Maybe a little too comfortable." He shared with a smirk.
Andy felt her body automatically respond to his innuendo; she had wanted this for so long. She wasn't sure quite what to say though and she was sure she could feel everyone's eyes on them. She wiggled in discomfort.
"That's not helping."
Andy glanced quickly around the room. "But people are watching us."
"So?" The spotlight never bothered Sam, and noting the huge grins on all of their friends' faces, he knew they were all thinking the same thing – 'it's about time'. "I'm pretty sure they saw it coming."
"Really?" She asked, looking back up at him.
Sam lowered his chin and raised his eyebrows; it was obvious that they hadn't done a very good job at hiding their feelings and hadn't been fooling anyone. But whether people expected it or not, Andy didn't like being the center of attention and she was still pretty antsy.
"What's wrong?" Sam asked. "You don't like your 'chair'."
"It's not that." She assured him. "It's just...well if I don't get up soon, I'm afraid I'll do something I might regret."
Sam's face fell; he wanted this and he thought that she had too.
From the look on Sam's face, Andy was afraid that she had done just what she had hoped not to. Panicked, she clarified. "Oh God No, Sam. Believe me, I want something to happen; I really do. It's just..."
This was it; this was her chance and she had to take it. He waited for her to continue.
"This is not just about one night for me Sam; I want so much more. But I'm afraid that right now, being this close to you, my body is not getting the message. I really don't want to screw this up." She said motioning between the two of them.
Sam chuckled. "I hear you, McNally, because my body has got a mind of its own right now too. But please don't worry; it's more than just sex for me too...a lot more. But if I don't get to at least kiss you right now, I think I'm going to explode."
Andy joined in with his laughter. "Well we can't have that happening now can we."
She leaned in as Sam tightened his grip to help close the distance between them. They were barely inches apart, when Oliver turned from his conversation with Jerry and slapped Sam on the back. "So Sammy boy, you still need..."
Sam could not believe it. He snapped his head around and shut Oliver up with just one look. A look that clearly said 'are you kidding...I finally have McNally in my lap and you want to know if I want to go home with you.'
Oliver got the hint, quickly moving on and muttering under his breath. "Yeah, yeah...I'm sure you can find your own way...home."
Sam turned back to Andy and she was still grinning. He leaned in close again and dropped his voice. "How about we get out of here and you can show me some of those cop moves...your place?"
Andy giggled. "I'll show you mine if you show me yours."
She was rewarded with the dimpled smile she loved so much as Sam finally loosened his grip to let her stand up. Together, they said goodbye to their friends trying to ignore the knowing looks they were receiving from just about everyone.
They knew they wouldn't escape Dov though as they felt obligated to wish him a Happy Birthday before they took off.
"Best birthday ever...don't you think McNally? Looks like I'm not the only one who'll be celebrating tonight huh?" He noted with a wiggle of his eyebrows.
"Give it a rest, Dov." Traci ordered, effectively saving Andy from Dov's implications.
"I will be calling you tomorrow though." Traci whispered while giving her friend a hug. "Now get out of here."
Sam guided Andy to the door with a warm hand at the small of her back. And as soon as they walked through, he reached for her hand and led her to his truck. She relished the feeling of her small hand in his.
"Remind me next time we're at the Penny that I owe Diaz a drink." Sam said, breaking her out of her reverie.
"Why's that?"
He was about to explain when she started putting the pieces together; she should have known it was too much of a coincidence. "Wait...did he tell you to take Jerry's place?"
"You were going to dance for Jerry?" He teased.
Andy chuckled. "Very funny. Traci was taking Jerry and I had Dov, but as soon as you took Jerry's place the girls insisted that we switch. Did Chris actually tell you to sit there?"
"He did." Sam admitted before looking for reassurance. "Are you OK with that?"
"I am more than OK with that."
"Now about those cop moves..." He reminded her as they leaned against the side his truck.
She lowered her voice. "You have the right to remain silent," she said as she closed the distance between them and captured his mouth with hers.
He smiled against her lips, happy to oblige.
After a few seconds, she leaned back just a little and offered huskily. "Anything you say can and will be held against you."
The twinkle in his eye told her that's exactly what he was counting on.
"McNally."