Rachel feels as if her entire body has been thrown under a truck. She tries to open her eyes but her lids feel too heavy to do it. A moan rises from the back of her throat and she suddenly feels the urge to vomit. That's when her eyes flow open, and everything she is able to see from her laying position, is white. The walls, the furniture, the sheets. She groans, she hates anything that's white, it's so depressing. Then again, she is a little depressed.
She doesn't remember too many things. She remembers seeing the paparazzi again, being followed and taken in picture. She remembers Jesse coming to apologize once again, she remembers yelling at him and telling him to go away. She remembers the pills, the two tablets laying on the table in front of her. Then all she can remember is waking up here, in the hospital. At least she thinks it's a hospital. It could be a rehab center or a house for crazy for what she knows. Everything is white there, too.
"Glad to see you are awake," a soft voice rings through her ears. She startled for a few seconds, and her neck hurts when she tries to move it to see who is next to her. All she catches is blond hair. She groans and tries to sit up, only to have a hand on her shoulder to pull her back down. "You need to rest." she hears again. Then she feels the bed being pulled up and she is able to see the rest of the room. Then she hears beeping and a thing is attached to her index.
Yep, she is in the hospital. Great, just fucking great.
She turns her head slightly to the side and her eyes fall onto Quinn. She sitting there, on a stool. Rachel doesn't know how long she has been sitting there because her eyes are squinted and her hair is anything but perfect. She has no make up on, or at least the one she had the day before is gone. Rachel tries to speak but her throat is very sore. Next thing she knows, Quinn is rising a plastic cup to her lips. Rachel accepts the little bit of water she manages to swallow down and then adverts her eyes from Quinn.
"Don't try to speak. They had to put a tube down you throat to empty your stomach, it bust be irritated."
Rachel rolls her eyes. No kidding, you think?
Quinn smiles a bit and places her hand on Rachel's shoulder. "I'm going to get your doctor and I'll be back later, alright?"
Rachel doesn't say anything, she just turns her head to look out the window. She wants to tell Quinn not to leave because she is the only person she knows around, but her pride prevents her from it. She's supposed to be strong. She doesn't need anybody to save her, she can do it on her own.
Quinn gets out of the room and takes a deep breath of air. She has stayed with Rachel the entire night, but now she needs to have a cup of coffee and to call Santana and Brittany. She pulls out her phone from the pocket of her lab coat, turns it on as she walks outside the hospital. She shudders as the cold wind makes contact with her skin while she checks her phone.
6 missed calls, all from Santana. She's going to her ass dials the Latina's number and waits for her to pick up.
"What the fuck, Q? Why are you calling just now?"
"I'm sorry Santana, something came up."
"The deal was for us to pick Beth us and let her stay at the apartment until you came back. You never showed and we got stuck with the midget. What the hell?"
"I'm still at the hospital. Can you keep her for two hours?"
"Seriously Q? What could possibly be more important than your daughter?"
"Rachel is in the hospital, she tried to kill herself."
"How surprising, we all knew it was coming. So what, you have to ask her questions and then it's done, right?"
Quinn sighs, clearly annoyed by Santana's lack of sympathy and feelings toward Rachel. "I'll pick up Beth in an hour, okay? Bye."
She doesn't give Santana a chance to reply and hangs up her phone before sliding it back into her pocket. Walking back into the ER, she grabs a cup of coffee and strides back to Rachel's room. The doctor has just finished examining her and Rachel is still gazing out the window. He shoots Quinn a glance and she follows him out of the room.
"Is she going to be okay, Mark?" she asks anxiously. That's when she regrets not being able to help people when it has nothing to do with psychology. Especially when it's people she cares about. Mark pushes his glasses to the bridge of his nose and nods his head while looking down to the chart he is holding in his hands.
"Physically yes. We were able to prevent any permanent damage. However she will need your help. She seems very guarded."
Quinn swallows the lump in her throat. "I'll see what I can do."
She steps back into Rachel's room and notes that the tiny brunette has fallen back to sleep. She leans over her and presses a gentle kiss to her forehead. She knows she shouldn't do it but she can't help it. She looks like an angel. Her eyes flutter open and Quinn sits on the chair next to the bed and takes Rachel's hand, which she fortunately doesn't pull away.
"How do you feel?" the blond asks, tilting her head to the side. Rachel shoots daggers at her and snatches her hand away.
"What do you care?" she spits out, shaking her head as she ducks it. "You're just doing your stupid job, right? Then you'll leave, like everyone did in my life."
Quinn takes a moment, trying to find the best words that are not going to offend the brunette. "I want to help you, Rachel."
Her head snaps back at you. "Oh it's Rachel now? What happened to Man Hands, or RuPaul and Treasure trail?"
Quinn can't help but feels guilt rush through her body. She opens her mouth but no words seems to be able to get out of it. "I'm not the same person. The Quinn Fabray you knew is gone."
"So is the Rachel Berry you knew. I'm not so naïve anymore," her tone is harsh and Quinn still doesn't know what to say. "Get the fuck out of my room."
Despite the fact that she wants to stay, Quinn knows it's for the best if she goes take some air and a break. She nods her head and gently rises from her seat, smoothing her lab coat. "I'll be back tonight."
With that, she leaves the room and Rachel chokes a sob she has been keeping in for long minutes, wanting to stay strong in front of the blond.
-0-
When Quinn walks into Santana and Brittany's apartment, she's surprised that she's met with silence. It's usually very noisy in there, music blaring through the speakers and Brittany rehearsing her choreography or Santana talking loudly on the phone. Or loud sex. Quinn cringes at the memory and is perfectly comfortable with silence. She peeks above the back of the couch and sees her daughter lying on the soft leather surface, a blanket tucked over her tiny body while her head rests on Brittany's lap who is also sleeping.
Quinn smiles and decides not to wake the two blondes and goes into the kitchen to find something to eat.
"Sure, help yourself," she hears a voice behind her and jumps, her hand racing to her chest. She turns around and sees her Latina friend sitting at the table, nursing a cup of coffee.
"Gee, San. Don't ever do that again."
"Whatever. So how's RuPaul?" Santana asks, eying the newspaper draped on the table. Quinn rolls her eyes and sits at the table in front of her best friend.
"Don't call her that. She has a name. It's Rachel." it comes out of Quinn's mouth harsher than she wanted too and Santana rises her head and quirks an eyebrow at her.
"Alright, don't bite my head off Q," she says. "So how is Rachel?" she reformulates, carefully emphasizing the brunette's name with a sarcastic smile. Quinn narrows her eyes and sighs.
"She is okay, physically. I tried to talk to her this morning but she told me to, and I quote, 'Get the fuck out.'"
Santana's eyes widen. "Woah, she seems like a High School version of myself," she comments. "I taught her well."
Quinn ignores Santana's comment and steals a sip from her cup before she can protest. "Anyway, I need to go back to the hospital in the afternoon."
"You're taking the midget with you, right?" Santana asks, glaring at Quinn.
"I'm no midget, Auntie S." a girl about eight years old appears from the doorway with her hand on her hips and her brows furrowed. Santana beams and looks at Quinn.
"Look at her, she already has your HBIC attitude." she then looks back to Beth. "And I already told you, I hate it when you call me that."
Beth ignores Santana's comment just like her mom did a few seconds ago and walks over to Quinn, setting herself in her lap. She kisses her cheek and Quinn nuzzles the little girl's nose. "Slept well?"
"Yep. Brittany's lap is comfy."
Quinn smiles and ruffles Beth's soft hair. "I'm going to take you out for breakfast and then I'll drive you back to your parent's house. How does that sound?"
"Awesome."
Quinn kisses Beth's forehead and pats her back. "C'mon, go grab your coat and we'll be ready to rock and roll," she turns back to Santana once the girl ran out of the room. "Thank you so much for watching her."
Santana waves her off, "Don't mention it. She's not that bad."
Beth runs back into the room and tucks on Quinn's sleeve. "I'm ready."
"Alright, say bye to Auntie S."
Santana shoots you daggers because of the surname but grins don at Beth before the eight-year-old stands on her tip toes and presses a kiss to the Latina's cheek. "Bye Auntie S, love you."
"Love you too."
Quinn winks at Santana and hugs her before leaving the kitchen. She and Beth pass by Brittany who has just woken up and the older blonde does a high five with Beth, causing the little girl to erupt into a fit of giggles. After many laughs, Quinn finally manages to drag Beth out of the apartment. They grab breakfast (Bagel for Beth and a cup of orange juice while Quinn settles for coffee and buys a vegan breakfast, figuring that Rachel might be hungry.), hail a cab and Quinn drops Beth off at her parent's house, telling her that she will see her next week.
When she gets back to the hospital, she puts on her lab coat, notebook and pen as well as the brown paper bag with one bagel in it. She walks into Rachel's room and finds the young woman awake and staring at the window.
"Hi," Quinn's voice is soft but it manages to gently drag Rachel away from her thoughts.
"I told you to leave." she whispers harshly.
The smile on Quinn's face doesn't flatter. "That was two hours ago. I brought you some breakfast. I asked your doctor, you are allowed to eat."
Her eyes move down to the paper bag Quinn is holding. "What's in there?"
"A vegan bagel."
She turns away from Quinn yet again, "I'm not hungry."
As if on cue, her stomach make rumbling sounds and Quinn raises an eyebrow. "Really? Try again."
Rachel sighs, "Fine."
She takes the bagel out and hands it to her along with a paper napkin. She is not sure whether Rachel mumbles a thank you or if her ears are playing tricks to her. She decides to interpret it as a thank you, because it brings a nice feeling to her heart.
"The doctor told me that they're keeping you one more night for observation and then you'll be free to go."
"Great, can't wait to leave this shit hole."
"But he strongly advises you to see a therapist in the following days."
Rachel rolls her eyes, "That's when Angel Quinn steps up, right?"
"No." Quinn says, tucking a stray of her blond hair behind her ear. "I think it's better if you go see a stranger, given our past differences."
A sarcastic laugh escapes Rachel's lips as she shakes her head, "Differences? You mean the fact that you tortured me the from Freshman to Junior year and threw slushies at my face? That's what you call differences?"
"I know that what I've done in High school was horrible and completely out of place. But it was different back then. I was a bitch, I as obsessed with labels and being captain of the cheerleading squad, being prom queen. I've changed. And I'm truly sorry for what I did to you during High School, I truly am. Can't we put the past behind us?"
"And what?" Rachel asks pointedly. "Become friends? In a world with only rainbows and butterflies. Come on Quinn, snap out of you daydream. My life is fucked up. And even though the old Rachel Berry might forgive you, the new one won't."
"And where is the old Rachel Berry?" Quinn gently asks. "I know she is in you, somewhere? The one who loves her dads more than anything in the entire wall, the one who is passionated about Broadway and Barbra Streisand. The one who used to smile in front of the paparazzi to get her picture taken. What happened? You can talk to me, Rachel. I want to help you."
"Well I don't need your help." The brunette mumbles through gritted teeth, clearly annoyed by Quinn's speech. "You can go now."
"Do you have anywhere to live?"
"Of course I do. I used to be on Broadway and I did a few movies. I might now be in my best financially talking right now, but I'm not homeless," she says harshly. "But thank you for your concern, Dr. Fabray."
Quinn gets the sarcastic tone in Rachel's voice and doesn't insist further. She takes her tiny notebook from her pocket and rips a piece of paper before scribbling something on it. She then hands it to Rachel.
"This is my phone number and below it my pager number. Call me if you need someone to talk to, or need help. Any time, even if it's the middle of the night." Quinn says but Rachel doesn't acknowledge her. She feels tears pool into her eyes and she blinks several times before leaving the room.
-0-
Quinn lets out a heavy sigh as she opens her apartment door. She sets her keys on the table and walks to the kitchen to fetch herself something to eat. Luckily, Kyle is already preparing dinner when she enters the room. He turns his head when he hears her footsteps and smiles lovingly.
"Hey sweetie," he wipes his hands on the dish towel that lies on the counter and marches over to his girlfriend. "What's wrong?"
Quinn looks as if she's going to break down in the next second. "I had a bad day is all."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"Not really. Just the past that is catching up on me." she whispers. Kyle takes a step closer and extends his arms. She wraps her arms around him and buries her head into his neck, finally allowing the tears to flow down her cheeks.
-0-
The next morning, Rachel is allowed to go home.
As soon as Rachel finishes signing the discharge papers, she places her sunglasses onto her eyes and steps out of the hospital. A group of paparazzi is already standing there, reading to catch their prey. Flashes appear around her, questions are made, videos are taken, paparazzi are stumbling in front of her, hoping she will answer their questions. She's ready to scream when she feels an arm wrap around her shoulders and two security guards step in front of her, pushing the reporters aside so she can go ahead.
She glances at Quinn who is standing beside her, a comforting hand on her shoulder. She walks with Rachel to the cab she has called earlier and closes the door behind the brunette.
"Think about what I told you, alright?" Quinn says, giving a nod to the other young woman.
Rachel grits her teeth but manages a nod as well. She takes a deep breath and then Quinn disappears behind the hospital doors.