Chapter 4

Thanks to my reviewers! xX-LadypersoN-Xx, Lovely, and sweenylovett101! =)

You guys always make me so happy=)

Enjoy chaper 4!

March 9th

I'm sorry love…does it hurt you?

Albert says to lace them tighter-so every morning I pull and pull at those corset strings until I can't catch my breath-until you can't be seen anymore.

I keep telling him that it's not good for you, but all he does is twirl me around and pull them tighter himself, muttering something like, "Now that I can't work, you have to work one hundred times harder. Soon as folks around here see you pregnant they'll call over someone and suddenly you can't work anymore. Just watch." or "No slacking Nellie. No slacking. This isn't my doing so I won't pay for it."

I feel like I'm…like we're…imprisoned. Locked up. Squinting between iron bars-longing to feel the sunlight. To feel loved.

So I supposed you've guessed by now…I finally told your father. And lived to tell the tale. Some days I question if that's even a good thing.

Well, I couldn't very well keep you secret much longer. Specially since your father's leg's finally gone out with the gout. Can't hardly walk. I suppose I'd feel more pity for him if I didn't think it ever so funny how he can't go see that other girl anymore. That's called karma, my child. And it's what he deserves.

Well…anyway. I told him…I didn't intend to this time-perhaps that was right.

I wasn't feeling very well this morning and then your father just goes, orderin me around like I'm his maidservant or something. So I yelled at him. I don't even remember what I was shouting about. I suppose because everything before what he said next was a blur. My mind centered in on what he said so much that it doesn't recall anything before it.

He said, "Nellie? What's gotten into you lately? You're tiered, you're ill, and you've been seeming to get aggravated very easily…"

At the time, I was too angry to notice that, wow, he actually noticed something about me.

All I did was scream back, "Did you ever thing that perhaps, Albert, you're just an aggravating person?"

His eyes grew wide at my insult, "Excuse me?"

But I didn't pay any attention to him and stomped to the other end of the room, preparing to depart and leave the fight be. I don't particularly enjoy arguing. But before I turned the handle on the door to leave I spun back and muttered, "Not that you even care. Don't even bother to act like you do. You care more about that other slut you go and "visit" when you leave me all alone every night…" My voice trailed off to a mumble as my comment made your father's blood boil.

"Me, eh? Don't think I don't see you staring at that bloody barber upstairs every chance you get!"

"Albert! I'm pregnant…"

The silence that engulfed us suddenly was eerie.

"You haven't even noticed. You don't even care, do you? Just…"

Your father had glued his eyes to the ground, his gaze cold and unreadable.

I took in a shaky breath, not even remembering if I had been breathing in the past minute.

"Say something!" I sputtered out as I felt vile tears rise in my throat again.

Albert picked up a picture frame sitting next to him and spun it around in his chubby hands. "Nellie…get rid of it…"

"Wot?" I asked, my heart suddenly racing and my stomach churning. Could you hear what he said?

"I don't want another man's child in my home,".

"Albert it's yours!" I shot back- I just knew this was going to happen.

"Really? I don't exactly remember completing my end of the deal in this little disaster,"

"Disaster?" I repeated, hanging my mouth open in wonder and digging my fists into my hips. "It's your child!" was all I could seem to mutter out again.

He looked up and I could see in his eyes that he wished he could stand up easier and talk (or yell…rather) to me face to face.

"You're a whore," he said ever so bluntly.

And I couldn't take it anymore. Tears poured over my cheeks. I threw my arms in the air and settled them on top my head, smiling bitterly. "I knew you were going to do this, that's why I waited so long to tell you…"

He was staring at you now, could he still not see?

"How far along are you with it?"

"…Five months…"

"Five months? !"

"I've only known for three! Why are you ever so angry? You didn't even notice! You never even look at me!"

Silence encircled us again and it ran chills up and down my back. He was looking to the floor again. He didn't want to look me in the eyes- He didn't want to look at my stomach.

I know it must hurt to hear this dear, but I find it only right for you to have a correct perception of your father…Don't let him fool you like he fooled me when I married him.

"And we should stop calling her an "it"…she's a girl…I can feel it…"

"Nellie you can't stop working. This can't slow you down…" he ignored me, still not looking up.

"Who's to say what'll happen in the next four months? You might not be able to keep me working…"

Ignoring me again, he continued, "Now go in your bedroom and lace your corset tighter… we can't have anyone knowing…"

I wasn't about to fight anymore. I went in my bedroom.

And that's how it's been for the past week. I go into my bedroom and pull and pull at those strings until I can't catch my breath-until you can't be seen anymore.

Reveiws and I'll update soon.

Thanks my friends!

And random! I'm going to see the new Pirates tomorrow! YAY JOHNNY DEPP!