Chapter two: A New Recruit: The Golgothan?!

"Master, Master, time to wake up!" a voice said. "You're on patrol duty today!" another voice said. "Hey, you two what are you doing D-tan and S-tan let the master rest?!" a third voice said. "It's okay I'm up now girls he…he heh." Their master said. "Master James!" the three girls said. "Hey what have I told you girls before don't call me by my first name, call me Nguyen…." Nguyen smiled. "So girls, where do I have to patrol today?" Nguyen asked. "In the West Rukongai District master…" A voice said behind Nguyen. "AHH! … Oh it's only you PSP-tan you scared me." Nguyen said. "I'm sorry master." PSP-tan bowed. "It's alright, but why of all places their, for my first patrol, people living there are nothing but battle maniacs." "Oh grow some balls, master you should know, that we zanpakuto spirits of yours will be here for you especially me FEH 360-tan…" 360-tan said. "I know, and I'm very grateful." Nguyen replied. "PS3-tan, Wii-tan you ready?" "Yes Master we are!" PS3 and Wii-tan replied. "How about the rest of you girls, you ready?" "Yeah…!" "Let's go."

Nguyen's POV

Hi I'm James Nguyen; I recently graduated from the Soul Reaper Academy top of the class too. I got drafted to squad six as well. My birthday is March tenth, my sign is Pisces and my blood type is A. I'm the usual short black haired brown eyed nerd you'll meet. Ever since I was drafted to Captain Kuchikis squad it's been real nerve racking for me. Lieutenant Abarai has been watching me if I mess up, I guess for him… He can't believe a nerd like me is in this squad. "Hurry up Master or else we'll be late." "This is so annoying, PS3-tan stop messing with the master!" "Oh, are you jealous 360-tan, I'm merely protecting the master very closely." "SHUT UP! You just want him all to yourself." Oh boy the two arguing, are 360-tan and PS3-tan they argue a lot over silly things. PS3-tan has black hair brown eyes and is a heavy blade warrior, with a purvey attitude. 360-tan has green hair red eyes and is the tomboyish military weapon loving spirit. "So S-tan do you think that master will use us today?" "I don't know…" Those two are D-tan and S-tan they both have the same abilities, but different personalities. D-tan has black hair wears white cloths and is the cheerful type, as S-tan has white hair black dress and is the emo type, they both carry small blades. "Hey um…has anyone seen PSP-tan?" "I'm right behind you?" "EEEEEK! That's not nice you know, surprising me like that." Humph, that's Wii-tan she's the sweet one out of the girls, but I wouldn't want to make her angry, though she's not the forgivable type either, Wii-tan carries a Wii nun chuck and has blue hair. PSP-tan is another story, she's a stealth ninja girl, who can give information within an instant plus I'm able to use her USB sticks for classified info, and am able to go through the Senkaimon gates easily, not all the time though she has black hair blue eyes carries typical ninja weapons.

They are all my zanpakuto spirits, and I treat them like family, unfortunately, they're named after human game systems, so I don't really know their names, but I'm able to release my shi-kai forms with them. Sometimes it's so hard to keep track of them since they like being out and about, thanks to the Muramasa incident that is.

Well I'm off!

Soul Society

"Great we made it guys, let's go to the Seireitei and talk to one of the captains." Yoruichi said. "Yeah the sooner the better…" Ichigo replied. "Why do you say it like that Ichigo?" Orihime asked. "This messenger bag, looks weird I still don't understand why Kisuka said we had to bring it with us and told us not to look in it, and why did I have to hold it?" Ichigo explained. "Well, he did threaten you with the picture he took of you and Amber." Uriu explained. "I know that, don't remind me!" Ichigo said. "Hey Sado-kun, what picture is he talking about?" Amber asked. "Umm…" Chad said nervously. "Oh, okay…" Amber said with a clueless expression.

Everyone was surprised because of the fact that Amber easily forgets things. "Oh well, we did come to help me and Amber, with our problem after all." Nanako said. "Yeah, let's go guys; maybe afterwards we can visit Kuchiki-san and Renji-kun." Orihime said. "We haven't seen them in a while." Uriu added. "Who are they guys?" Nanako asked. "They're Soul Reapers like Ichigo." Uriu said. "Oh I see well can't wait to meet them." Nanako replied smiling. Still, I wonder what he meant about time being limited, and he was so eager to make us go to the Soul Society. Ichigo thought to himself.

FLASH BACK

"Wait, what's with the bag Kisuka, why are you making us bring it?" Ichigo asked. "Don't you think it's a bit much Urahara-san?" Chad said. "Nonsense, this bag will help you later, so I suggest you don't open it till you need to." "You're coming with us Urahara-san." Nanako asked. "Nope can't, besides I have to watch my shop Tessai-san please open the Senkaimon gate for them." "Roger Urahara." Tessai said. The door opens and Yoruichi enters first and the rest follow except Ichigo. "Wait why do I have to hold this again till we get to the Soul Society?" "The time is limited so you should hurry, you guys don't have much time besides remember what I told you last night you have to go there yourselves to get your answer… and why not you don't want me to show this picture to anyone else do you, especially your father?" Kisuka said playfully. "What, you still have it?!" "Now, now you should hurry before the gate closes, Jinta!" "What." Ichigo said. "You got it boss, Jinta home run!" Jinta said as he swung his bat. Ichigo suddenly flew in the air with full speed passing the others who started running from the entrance. "Wow I guess Ichigo really wants to go on ahead." Amber said.

"Wait what about me I want to go! Nee-san, I want to see Nee-san too!" Kon said as the door closed. "Sorry Kon, but you need to watch over Ichigos body." Kisuka said. "Huh… Is that all I'm good for now just being a comedy relief character, and watching over Ichigos stupid body this sucks. I miss my Nee-san so much, ever since Fade to Black no one has been giving me the respect I deserve." Kisuka wasn't listening to Kons complaints and looked at Tessai. "Tessai-san would you mined dealing with Kon for me, I need to contact her right away and let her know, they left." Kisuka said. "Huh, who's her?" Kon asked "Yes I will." Tessai replied.

West Rukongai District

"This place looks scary guys people are looking at us funny." Nanako said. "Don't pay any attention to them Nanako." Yoruichi replied. "These people are creepy… hold me Sado-kun." Amber added as she hugged Chads arm. Chad blushed and Uriu and Ichigo were surprised. "Geez let go of his arm Amber." "You don't have to be scared." Both Ichigo and Uriu said. "What? Do you want me to hold onto your guys' arms instead?" Amber said. "No, no it's okay." Uriu said while waving his arms. "N-No way, lets just hurry." Ichigo added. Suddenly the sound of broken glass was herd. "Huh, hey Orihime did you hear that?" Nanako asked. "Hear what, Nanako-chan?" "It sounded like it came from over there." Nanako pointed out as she held Orihimes hand. "Wait for me guys." Amber said as she followed them. The guys and Yoruichi stopped. "Hey where are you guys going the Seireitei gate is this way." Ichigo yelled. "Sorry we'll be right back." Nanako yelled back. "Let's just go follow them Ichigo." Uriu said. "I agree let's go after them." Chad added.

"Wait, where are you taking us Nanako-chan?" Orihime asked. "Well, I heard something earlier like a man yelling at someone and a shattered glass sound. I just want to make sure if nothing bad is happening." Nanako explained. Suddenly the girls ran into Ganju Shiba who just wanted, to have a good time. "Hey where's my entertainment that I paid for bartender?" Ganju asked. "Don't you worry she's coming, just hold you hormones. Sis we got a customer!" the bartender said. "A… um…I'm ah coming…" a girl's voice said. "Shit I'm going back there!" the bartender said. The bartender left to the back of the bar to check on the girl, at the same time Orihime had noticed Ganju and decided to greet him. "Damn, the service here is lame." Ganju said to himself. "Ganju-san long time no see." Orihime said. "Huh, oh hey Orihime, what brings you here to this side of the Soul Society?" Ganju said as he turned around.

Meanwhile, Ichigo, and the guys were searching for the girls. Yoruichi went off ahead to meet up with one of the captains and the guys were left alone. "Damn how could they just disappear like that?" Ichigo said. "We should just split up for now that way we'll get a better chance finding them." Uriu suggested. They all nodded and separated. "This place feels a lot bigger than the last time I've been here." Ichigo said to himself as he scratched his head. "Hey watch it, that's my…!" PS3-tan said. Ichigo accidently bumped into Nguyen who was on his patrol duty. "Huh, oh I'm sorry." Ichigo said. "Um… it's okay." Nguyen said. Ichigo turned around and started to walk, as he took his third step, "No it's not okay, apologized to my master, strawberry boy!" 360-tan said. "What did you say, was that you who said that?" Ichigo said with a little confusion. "Oh crap, that wasn't me um…I swear." Nguyen said nervously. "Really, oh well than I must be hearing things." Ichigo said as he turned the other way, 360-tan had a gun pointing to Ichigos face. "What the, w-who are you?" Ichigo yelled. "The names not imported asshole, apologize to my master or I blast your F'ING face off!" "W-wait please, 360-tan don't do this." Nguyen pleaded. "Sorry for what? What did I do to you?!" Ichigo replied as sweat ran down his face. "Not me my master and, you better do a better job of it to or else." 360-tan was about to pull the trigger of her pistol gun but, "Wait don't do it, 360-tan don't shoot." Nguyen said as he stepped in front of Ichigo. "What?" Ichigo muttered. "Huh, why not Master, this bastard was being rude I can't accept this guy doing that to you." 360-tan said. "Shit this is getting no where, look I said I was sorry. I'm looking for my friends and than I'm heading to the Seireitei to do some investigating work." Ichigo explained. Nguyen suddenly remembered what he over heard from Byakuya Kuchiki who was talking with one of the other captains. Wait I remember now Captain was talking with squad thirteen Captain Ukitake about the arrival of a substitute soul reaper. Nguyen thought. "Well it still ant good enough Strawberry!" 360-tan said. "Stop 360-tan he's telling the truth, he's Ichigo Kurosaki the substitute soul reaper, that captain Kuchiki was talking about." "You got to kidding me, him he's the asshole." 360-tan said as she stared at Ichigo.

Back at the girl's location, Orihime had explained the situation with Nanako and Amber to Ganju. "Whoa that sucks I hope you guys get your memories back soon. I would hate to be in your shoes." Ganju said. "Thank you." Nanako and Amber said. "Oh hey Chad I found them." Uriu said as both Chad and Uriu walked over. "Hey you two it's been a while." Ganju said. "Ganju you haven't changed." Uriu replied. "Why did you guys run off?" Chad asked. "Oh sorry about that, guys it was my fault. It's just I heard something so I wanted to check it out. "Oh that, that's because of the bartender and his new striper." Ganju said. Everyone turned their heads to Ganju, with disgusted looks. "What, you guys didn't realize this was a stripper bar?" Ganju questioned. "NO! You're sick!" everyone said. "Well it is and anyway where's Ichigo, isn't he here too?" Ganju asked again. "He was searching for the girls to, so we haven't seen him since we split up." Chad explained. As they continued to talk they heard yelling from the back of the bar. It was the bartender and the striper girl. The girl had short brown hair with brown eyes and light skin. The girl wore glasses, a tight pink tank top, and a short light blue skirt. "Damn you bitch you can't do anything right, I might as well take care of you." "Ah, please don't." the girl pleaded in a soft tone. "To bad, my business can't do well if you don't do your job for customers, you're always so slow." The Bartender replied. "Hey, that's not very nice leave her alone." Nanako said as she stood ten feet away. "Huh, who the hell are you." The bartender said as he spit out his cigar. "You're scum you evil jerk." Amber said as she grabbed the girls hand to lift her up. The bartender got angry, "Hey get your hands…o-of-off." Uriu had shot one of his arrows near the bartenders head, "What a shame, a gentleman shouldn't do such horrible things to a lady." "Even though I feel like I don't want to do this, I just can't help seeing someone get abused, Tsubaki!" Orihime yelled out. Her attack hit the bartender, before he could dodge.

"Please come with me, we'll take you out of here." Nanako said to the girl. "T-thank you very much" The girl replied. "Wait sis don't go, I-I'm sorry. Maybe we can work something out eh?!" The bartender was blocked by Chad who stood like a brick wall. "Y-you're not my brother. I don't have a brother." The girl stuttered. "Oh come on, I've done so much and this is how you repay me?!" the bartender continued babbling. "Yasutora please step back." Nanako asked. The group looked at Nanako, and stood back. "You know I hate people who take advantage of others maybe you should burn with some, FIRE!" Nanako said as she pointed her baton at the bartender. Suddenly the bartender's legs caught on fire. Everyone was surprised. "Nanako-chan, Nanako-san what in the world…" Everyone said. "I don't like seeing people being mean to others; it sickens me to watch such violence take place. Let's go everyone." Nanako said. "Oh, almost forgot, please, have some ICE to cool down!" Nanako said. The Bartender was still rolling on the floor to rid the fire on his body, and ice suddenly covered him from his head to his feet. Everyone left the bar with the girl. "Let's go catch up to Ichigo now everyone, now that we helped this woman out." Uriu said. "W-wait, may I uh j-join ah a long?" the girl asked. Nanako looked at everyone, and saw that they didn't mind, "Of course you can, we don't mind it at all, the more the merrier." "Yeah, Nanako's right besides I wouldn't want to see that happen to you again." Ambers added. "Thank you, my name is Kame b-but, you can call me Kana." Kana said.

Nguyen had apologized for 360-tans actions and offered to escort Ichigo to the Seireitei. "So you're from squad six, and this is your first day on patrol am I right?" Ichigo said as they entered the Seireitei gate. "Yeah, well that's all I can say, for now heh…heh. Anyways my captain has been expecting you." Nguyen said. "Hey, hey Ichigo!" a voice said. "Huh, Rukia it's been a while." Ichigo said as he waved to Rukia. "Yeah it has, why are you here?" Rukia asked. "Rukia-san, I'll leave Ichigo with you. I have to go fill out my time sheet for the captain." Nguyen said. "Umm… okay." Rukia replied. As Nguyen left Rukia and Ichigo, headed to Byakuyas office where Yoruichi, and Byakuya where waiting for Ichigo and his friends.

Somewhere in the squad six barracks

Else where at the same time, there was another soul reaper waiting to strike. "Ha today will be the day, they'll see. Even though I got kicked out of the academy, I will get my revenge." A man said, while from the squad six restroom. This man had short brown hair blue eyes and glasses and wore a red neck tie with his soul reaper uniform. "Let's have a good day everyone say, la…la…la… la…la…la,…la…la…la." Another voice sang. "Shh… shut up iPhone-tan just keep watching for anyone." "But Master Critic, you should know I love to play my music." IPhone-tan said. "Now's not the time you worthless prick, and don't call me that." Critic replied. "B-b-but, everyone back in the academy called you that, instead of your real name Texas Walker." iPhone-tan replied. The Critic ignored his zanpakuto spirit and continued with his plan.

"With this hollowfication serum I got from Sosuke Aizens hidden journal, I'll make one of the soul reapers into hollows and when that happens, I'll save the day and they'll be begging me to come back." Critic said to himself. "Master, umm… what if you got caught doing this wouldn't that be bad?" iPhone-tan asked. Critic looked at iPhone-tan, "Idiot! I won't get caught! Anyway I got the serum ready I'm going." Critic said. "What about me master?" iPhone-tan questioned with worry. "As of today iPhone-tan, YOU"RE FIRED!" Critic yelled. iPhone-tan started to cry and shed tears, "W-we-what? But, master why, don't you like my music that I play for you?" "No you annoying bitch, as of today I no longer need you as my zanpakuto." Critic said with anger. "WWHAAA! You're so mean, why did I ever get stuck with you in the beginning anyway, fine I'll leave see if I care!" iPhone-tan cried as she slammed the door. Critic was getting nervous now, and knew when iPhone-tan started to cry people from squad six would hear. "Oh shit, I'm screwed; I got to get out of here, ah ha the ventilator." The critic climbed the ventilator as quickly as he could but in the process half of the serum fell into the toilet water.

"Please make way; this is an emergency matter I need to take care of." Renji said as he sped off to use the restroom. As he opened the door the Critic stood still while hiding in the ventilator, unfortunately this restroom had one toilet and a sink so the critic was in a dilemma. Ten minutes later, "I knew I shouldn't have had that burrito from the human world earlier that lieutenant, Matsumoto gave me, though it was good." Renji said to himself as he closed the door. But, in the ventilator still, "My god, he really stank up the place. "The Critic said in a low voice. Suddenly the hinges from the ventilator that was attached to the sealing became loose caused the Critic to fall face first to the ground. "Huh what was that, oh well must have been some squad members goofing off; I need to report in to Captain Kuchiki." Renji said to himself as he looked back at the hall he was walking from. Back in the restroom, "Damn it, I almost got caught luckily the squad six lieutenant is thick headed." Critic said to himself. "Wait a minute ugh it smells in here, oh boy I'm going to suffocate if I don't get out of here soon blah." The Critic said as he grabbed his neck. As the Critic was about to escape from the restroom he noticed the toilet started to rumble and from it came out a, Golgothan. "A shit demon, no it has a hollow mask. So it's a Golgothan hollow." The Critic said.

The Golgothan looked at the Critic and the Critic became nervous. "Papa?" the Golgothan said. "Papa…?!" The Critic muttered nervously, "You're not papa…" "Phew… I thought for a second there…" the Critic paused. "Prepare to eat shit…" the Golgothan replied in its bubbly voice. "Ah w-wait, listen I need you to stink up the place and flush out some soul reapers in this building." The Critic explained. "…" the Golgothan stared at the Critic. "Wait, I'll help you find your papa if you do this for me!" The Critic said. Damn, this hollow smells like roughen burritos oh well. Time to get nasty I'll show them how shitty they are. The Critic thought.

Outside of squad six barracks

"Oh look there he is, Ichigo!" Amber said as the group ran to Ichigo and Rukia. "Where have you guys been and who's she?" Ichigo asked. "It's a long story Ichigo." Uriu said. "M-my name is Kame, but, you can c-call me Kana." Kana said as she stuttered. "Ichigo, these two were the ones you told me about?" Rukia asked as she looked at Nanako and Amber. "Oh, actually it's three now." Orihime said, Kana showed a turtle mark on top of her right barest. "What … just great." Ichigo said with a serious face. "Yeah, apparently when we found the girls, they met up with Ganju-san who was at a strip bar; don't ask…by the way, but the bartender there was abusing Kana-san." Chad explained. "Yeah, he was really mean to; I couldn't stand watching Kana-san get hurt like that so I felt that I needed to stop it." Nanako said. "After, we helped Kana-san, Nanako-san and Kana-san touched hands, and just like what happened to Nanako-san and Amber-san, in the human world, it also happened to them." Uriu explained. "I see, well at any rate since you guys are here now I'll take you to Nee-sama and Yoruichi-san." "Thank you very much Rukia-san." Nanako said as she bowed. Rukia smiled, "It's no problem Nanako." But, before they could head to Byakuyas captain office Renji had caught up with the group. "Hey, guys!" Renji said. "Oh it's Renji." Ichigo said. "Is that anyway to greet a person, Ichigo?" Renji said with an irritated face. "Hey who are these girls?" Renji asked as he looked at Nanako and the two girls. "That's why we're here…" Chad paused. "We came to get some information that might help them remember who they are." Orihime explained. "Didn't Nee-sama tell you, Renji?" Rukia asked. "No, the captain didn't tell me anything about this." Renji replied.

As they went to Byakuyas office, the Golgothan was watching them from the shadows waiting for the opportunity to attack. As soon as they least expect it, the Golgothan will appear and I'll come in and be the hero. But first I'll let that Shit hollow do whatever it wants and terrorize squad six, I need to go look for that bastard that was chosen instead of me. The Critic thought as he was watching from a window. "Captain Kuchiki, Nee-sama, we've brought Ichigo and his friends like you requested." Renji and Rukia said. "It's about time you guys got here." Yoruichi said. Byakuya nodded. "Hi, I'm magical girl Nanako, I'm Amber and I ah I'm Kana." The girls introduced themselves to Byakuya. "Nice to meet you as well, we've already gone on ahead and started researching, for you guys." Byakuya explained. "Who's we?" Amber asked. "Squad eight captain Shunsui Kyoaku with his lieutenant Nanao Ise, and squad thirteen captain Jushiro Ukitake are in the Daireishokairo researching." "Already but we don't even know what to look for?" Uriu questioned. "Everyone have you ever heard the stories about how the human world and or this universe was created." Yoruichi asked. "W-well, in a religion of the human w-worlds, they said that g-god made earth in seven days." Kana replied in a low tone. Ichigos group looked at Kana. "Yes, that is true but, the actual truth is that millions of years ago they say that, there were four beasts that created the human world." Yoruichi explained. "Oh, oh, I think I know, there was, a dragon, tiger, turtle, and a phoenix right?" Orihime said as she thought back. Both Byakuya and Yoruichi nodded and the guys became surprised. "Orihime, how did, you?" Ichigo asked as he became speechless. "I thought you knew Ichigo, I started studying mythology with Tatsuki for an elective this year. "But, what does that have anything to do with us?" Nanako questioned.

"Well, before you all came to the Urahara Shoten this morning, Kisuka had informed me to research on the four beasts and to look over the markings on Amber-sans back and now Kana-san as I see. He said that there was connection between you Nanako, Kana-san and Amber-san." Yoruichi said as she held the picture that Kisuka took the night before. Ichigo became pale and everyone became speechless again. Both Renji and Rukia looked at the picture and turned their heads slowly to Ichigo. "Ichigo, what exactly were you doing?" Rukia asked. "H-hey it's not what it looks like…" Ichigo said while clutching his fists. "Wow, you're still a player Ichigo." Renji added as he looked at Ichigo. "Kiss my ass Renji." Ichigo said in an annoyed tone. Ichigo…. Chad thought. How many copies of that photo did Urahara-san make? Uriu thought as well. "Well, if you excuse me, I have things that I must do for the captain general." Byakuya said as he sat down by his desk. "Alright Nee-sama we'll be leaving now." Rukia said.

Somewhere in squad six barracks

"We should, start heading over to the Daireishokairo and see what captains Shunsui and Ukitake found." Yoruichi said. As Yoruichi sped off ahead again leaving Ichigos group along with Rukia and Renji behind, a part of the squad six building suddenly exploded out of no where and a disgusting odder filled the air. "What the…." Chad said as he started coughing. "Eww… what's that nasty smell." Amber said. "Blah, I can't breath, what just happened?" Rukia said. "Ichigo, everyone where are you?" Orihime said as the dirty smoke cloud coved everyone. "Guys, damn I can't see a thing." Ichigo said "Don't worry I'll make the smelly cloud go away!" Nanako said as she held up her baton in the air. The air was cleared and the dirty cloud had evaporated using a wind attack. "Are you guys alright?" Uriu asked. Everyone nodded. "I wonder what that was." Renji questioned. "I don't know, and I don't want to know either." Ichigo said. "Thank you Nanako-chan for clearing out the dirty cloud." Orihime said as she smiled and everyone else also thanked Nanako. "No problem." Nanako replied. "Let's go ever-everyone?!" Rukia paused as she looked in horror. "What's wrong Rukia?" Renji said. "Yeah, what's wrong? Nanako added. "Guys, look behind you but, slowly." Rukia said as she stepped back a little. Everyone excluding Ichigo did what she said and looked back, and right behind Ichigo was, "G-Golgothan…" Kana said as she pointed at it. "Goal what now, why's everyone looking, at me?" Ichigo questioned. "Shit hollow, be-behind you." Kana said again as she stuttered and pointed. Ichigo slowly turned his head and saw the Golgothan above his head. "Taste my shit blob blip." Golgothan said as it puked out sewage on Ichigo. "What the hell is this, ah oh no my soul reaper uniform!" Ichigo said as he looked at his cloths disgustedly.

Everyone became pale and turned green at the sight of Ichigo getting puked on. "Umm…guys I uh think it's best to run now." Nanako said as she started backing away as well. Everyone started to run but, for Renji, "You guys tell the captain, I'll handle this hollow myself." "Wait are you sure Renji?!" Uriu said as he and the others kept running. Renji stopped, "Yeah, this will be no sweat, roar Zabimaru!" As he released his shi-kai form and attacked something unexpected happed. "What, my attack didn't affect it?! What gives?" Renji shouted. Apparently, Renjis zanpakuto had bounced off of the Golgothan's stomach. The Golgothan approached Renji and stood right in front of him and looked at one another. Everyone stopped as well from running and saw Renji and the Golgothan. "Papa!?" the Golgothan said. "Whoa wait a minute, what?!" Renji said in shock. "Renji did you give birth to a hollow?" Rukia said. "N-no, I didn't but, for some weird reason it smells like what I had for lunch today." Renji said. "Eww…that's gross." Amber said. "Yeah you're telling me, so Renji did give birth to that hollow after all, he admitted it." Ichigo added. "Hey, that's not funny!" Suddenly, while Renji got distracted, the hollow as it smiled, "Oh no, it ate Renji!" Rukia yelled. "We've got no choice we have to hurry and let captain Kuchiki know what's going on or at least any of the other captains near by." Uriu said. "Talk about bad timing, why Yoruichi-san had to leave so quickly." Ichigo said. Everyone looked at Ichigo and ran faster. "Hey, wait up guys, don't leave me behind!" Ichigo yelled. "Sorry, but you smell pretty bad." Chad said. "Oh come on now!" Ichigo yelled back.

They all kept running and tried to devise a plan that would get rid of the Golgothan, at the same time they all tried attacking it but every time they did the attack would bounce back at them. Squad six was under attack and someone near by was getting annoyed, "Geez I can't concentrate with all the noise going on outside." Nguyen said as he was trying to fill out his report in his office. "Don't worry I'll go out there and shut up whoever is causing that racket." 360-tan said as she loaded her gun. "No that's not necessary, but, don't you girls think it's starting to smell in here?" Nguyen said as he got up from his chair. "Please don't get up let me and S-tan fix the smell master." D-tan said as she and S-tan grabbed air fresheners from a near by desk drawer. "Alright then thank you very much D and S-tans." Nguyen replied. 360-tan started to fluster with jealousy, "Well then I'm going out to take care of that smell with an air freshener grenade okay." 360-tan said as she juggles the grenade around. "Alright, than please take PS3-tan with you." Nguyen said as he smiled. "What…" Both PS3 and 360-tan said. "Master, why do I have to go with 360-tan, when I can just stay here with you." PS3-tan said in a perverted tone. "Hey, I think, you should listen to him after all, and stop flirting you bimbo." 360-tan said as she grabbed PS3-tan by the ear and slammed the door to leave. "Those two never get along, sigh, oh well PSP-tan anything new?" Nguyen asked.

Back with Ichigos group, they still had trouble with the Golgothan and had to split up and hide in the process. Ichigo, Rukia, Nanako, and Kana were a group as Uriu, Chad, Orihime, and Amber were another. "Okay, so what do we do, if we attack it, our attacks will bounce back?" Rukia said. "Not to mention, Renji got swallowed by that thing, we got to get him out of there." Ichigo added. "Well, m-maybe Nanako-chan can try using her magic like she did to help me." Kana said. They all looked at Nanako who felt a little nervous, "I don't know if my magic will work against it though seeing as Renji-kun couldn't attack it." Nanako said. "Well we have to try something. Zanpakuto attacks won't work on that thing, and the only option we've got is your powers Nanako." Rukia explained. "I guess you're right Rukia-san we don't have a choice do we, I'll do it but, I know I won't like it." While they devised a plan, the other group had countless encounters with the Golgothan. "Why did this thing have to choose us?" Amber said as they ran. "I don't know, maybe because somebody was distracting themselves." Uriu replied. "Guys, I see an opening over there." Chad said as they found a place to hide. But, it was no luck because; the Golgothan had seen them before hand. "Oh no it found us again; what should we do!" Orihime said. "Don't know, but I hope Abarai-kun is alright in there." Amber said. "BLAH BWAHAHAHAHA EAT SHIT blip blob!" the Golgothan said as it still chased them. Other squad six soul reapers tried to get themselves involved and try to kill it but got blasted away.

"I think I hear the Golgothan coming guys." Nanako said as she stood in front of a big rectangle table that they decided to use as a shield. "Alright remember when you use your baton, just quickly run for cover." Rukia explained. "Got it…" Nanako said as she got herself ready. "Watch out coming through!" Amber said as she ran in throwing Chad and Uriu onto Ichigo. "Uriu and Chad are, you guys alright." Rukia said with shock. "Yeah we're fine." Chad said. "Who knew Amber-san packed that much strength." Uriu said as he was little dizzy. "You guys are okay, where's Ichigo?" Orihime said as she was the last to enter. "They're sitting on him." Kana said as she pointed to Ichigos knocked out body. The two groups reunited in one of the main hallways of the squad six building. Though the Golgothan appeared, and everyone excluding Nanako went for cover. Nanako stood face to face with the Golgothan, and as she was about to use her magic, "Look out Nanako!" Rukia said. Nanako looked and saw a grenade and ducked for cover hoping she didn't get caught in the blast. As the grenade hit the Golgothan, and it had its last words, "This chapter is full of shit…blip blab blah!"

The group came out of hiding after the explosion hit, "Hey guys the Golgothan is gone!" Orihime said. "Yeah the air smells nice to, mango flavored." Uriu said as he smelt the air. "I wonder who threw that grenade." Nanako said. "I don't know, but at least we don't have to worry about that thing anymore." Amber said cheerfully. "Yeah, true." Chad added. "Look, Renji he's okay!" Rukia said as she ran to Renji. They all hovered around Renji and Rukia and checked if he was alright, "Renji are you alright man?" Ichigo asked. Renji looking with a scared face to Ichigo, "I…I saw… the pits of HELL!" "He's okay, he'll live." Ichigo said with an uncomfortable face. As they got Renji up to his feet they saw 360-tan and PS3-tan arguing. "Well that takes care of that dirty problem."360-tan said as she wiped her hands egotistically. "I could have done a better job than you, you know." PS3-tan said while putting her hands to her hips. "Oh please, you're the heavy blade type, you can't handle my weapons." 360-tan remarked. "Oh really, you can't even handle the heavy blades I carry let alone swing them the way I do he…heh." PS3-tan replied. 360-tan started to get angry, "Oh, we'll see I'll kick your ass so easily, you'll…" "Umm… excuse me." Kana said interrupting them. "WHAT!" Both PS3 and 360-tan said. "Were you the one who threw the grenade?" Nanako asked as she walked closer with rest of the group. "Yeah, that was me so what?" 360-tan said. "Thank you very much for the help." Amber said.

Ichigo took a closer look at 360-tan from where he was standing and dropped Renji who looked half dead after the ordeal. "Ichigo, help me here." Rukia said as she tried to hold on to Renjis heavy body. "Oh, I'm sorry Renji, Rukia." Ichigo said, Ichigo went closer to 360-tan. "Hey I know you; you're that nerd's zanpakuto spirit." Ichigo said with an angry look. "Well if it isn't strawberry head, you must be the one responsible for the Golgothan." 360-tan said as she gave Ichigo a dirty look. "No way, I had nothing to do with that pile of shit." Ichigo said. "I never trusted you since you got here to begin with, so you must be the one." 360-tan said, as she pulled out a pistol from her right hand. "Whoa, wait can't we talk this over." Nanako asked. "Shut up runt, this got nothing to do with you." 360-tan said. Everyone in Ichigos group tried to settle 360-tan down since she was short tempered. "Come on 360-tan, they obviously had nothing to do with the Golgothan." PS3-tan said. "I don't trust them one stinkin bit." 360-tan replied. "Well, if you weren't so stubborn, maybe you would have at least more common sense to trust them." PS3-tan yelled. "What did you say bitch!" 360-tan said. Suddenly both of the girls started to cat fight as Ichigos group looked on with confusion. "Shouldn't we stop those girls?" Orihime asked. "I think it's best not to." Uriu replied. "I'll show you PS3-tan, I'll blast off that cup size of yours." 360-tan said as she threw PS3-tan to the closest wall. "Oh, ouch not so rough there, that's my sensitive spot." PS3-tan said as she rubbed her chest. They continued to fight and cause damage to the squad six barracks; Ichigo, Uriu, and Chad tried to intervene but, were slapped around in the process. "Hey, girls what's going on?" Nguyen said as he came running, unfortunately. "Watch out dude!" Amber yelled. PS3-tan was thrown on top of Nguyen with her boobs to his face accidently and was knocked out cold with a bloody nose. "Huh, oh master Nguyen you're here, uh oh…" PS3-tan said as she looked at his unconscious face. "Oh my god you killed him!" 360-tan yelled as she ran to Nguyen and pushed PS3-tan off of him. "You're the one who threw me on top of him you know." PS3-tan replied as she got herself up.

Thirty minutes later

"Huh, where, am I?" Nguyen said as he awoke. "You are in my captain quarters, new third seat." Byakuya said as he sat at his desk. "WHAT! Captain um… ugh how did I end up here and did you just call me t-third seat?" Nguyen said as he got himself up quickly. "We brought you here, Nerd-san." Nanako said behind him. "Whoa, you scared me there!" Nguyen said as he jumped. "Oh, sorry… he…he, Yasutora was the one who carried you here." Nanako said. Chad waved and Uriu said, "Yes and Captain Kuchiki, told us to bring you here after your two zanpakuto spirits knocked you out." "I see, but captain how did I become third seat?" Nguyen asked. "You defeated the Golgothan hollow of course." Byakuya said. "What, but, I didn't even do anything." Nguyen said. "Your zanpakuto did, and that counts. That is also why; I'm promoting you to third seat. "Yeah, master!" PS3-tan said. "See at least now, you became a higher rank in the squad thanks to me." 360-tan said egotistically. However Renji felt uneasy about the sudden promotion, "Captain… don't you think it's a bit early?" "No, it's not, besides, he's the one that cleaned up your mess lieutenant Abarai." Byakuya said with his eyes closed. "Oh, my apologies captain eh…" Renji said embarrass. Ichigo Kurosaki and friends, shouldn't you all be at the Daireishokairo for research you came for." Byakuya said. "Oh, yeah…" Ichigo said as he rolled his eyes. "We've been running around this place so long we forgot." Amber said. "We'll be leaving right now Nee-sama, come on Renji, everyone." Rukia said.

Everyone said their good byes to Byakuya and left to the Daireishokairo. "Third seat James Nguyen." Byakuya said. "Oh, yes captain." Nguyen replied. "I'm very much aware of your zanpakutous ability to gather information quickly. I want you to go with them." Byakuya ordered. "But, lieutenant Abarai is with them sir, I don't think I'll be needed." Nguyen said. Byakuya turned and looked at Nguyen. "Just go, I don't trust lieutenant Abarai to accomplish the task." Byakuya replied. "Well okay than what ever you say captain, I'm off." Nguyen replied as he flashed stepped to catch up with the group.

Preview

D-tan: D-tan here!

S-tan: And S-tan too…

D-tan: We didn't get much screen time did we S-tan.

S-tan: Nope…

D-tan: Come on don't act so emo, you should be cheerful like me.

Golgothan: Roar! Blip Blob, this chapter still stinks like shit.

S-tan: You're alive…?

D-tan: I thought Nee-san killed you already.

Golgothan: She did, blip blob bah…

D-tan: Okay… Next on Bleach the Timeless Edition…

Golgothan: What, are you looking at girl?

S-tan: …you stink

D-tan: Chapter 3 Nerd vs. Critic: dimensional witch, yeah master will get more screen time!

S-tan: ye…ay…